I am new to Pratigya, Kriya and this Forum (thanks to my friend koolsadhu). I have recently seen every epi and am I glad I signed up. I wanted to share my thoughts. I tried not to pick a side.
When I see Krishna and his family, I think of this English movie the Godfather. Both families live on a culture of force and aggression. Like in the movie, the patriarch in the family is the final word, revered by all, challenged by none; women are secondary citizens and dedicated housewives and mothers; joint family household; older brother is a thug who treats his wife as a possession and the mother of his children ? abuses and cheats on his wife openly, is hot tempered and extremely unforgiving of non-family members, acts with force but zero strategy. Younger son is very strong, capable of much more physical damage and brutality than the older son but controlled in action and thought. Any destruction he causes is for purpose not pleasure. Strategy is second nature to his personality. He has only one weak point, his wife. He is obsessive to the point of blindness and seeks unquestioning loyalty but is not generally abusive or uncaring. Both brothers are extremely loving, indulgent and protective of their sister (who by virtue of growing up in such a patriarchal environment was not allowed to develop feminine virtue) who is a spoilt brat.
Understanding Krishna, requires understanding him as a individual and as a product of his environment
Krishna has two many things working against him- his lack of education and his family environment. He lives in a chauvinistic family, is the product of a feudal environment (imagine seeing your dad perform the role of feudal lord every morning in the balcony) and is the product of a dog-eat-dog reality. His lack of education or civilized exposure prevents him for seeing his reality and allows him to accept everything that civilized people find abhorrent to think of (forget participate in willing or otherwise) as the norm.
Understanding Pratigya, also requires understanding her as a individual and as a product of her environment.
Pratigya and her siblings have been raised by a highly educated, liberal minded father and have the full support of their extremely indulgent parents. This is evident in their relationships, their conduct, their dress, their decisions, so on.
Pratigya is as much a daddy's girl as Komal but the only reason she appears traditional and level headed is because she is the older daughter and because of her mother's efforts and grandmother's conservatism. Else we would be seeing two Arushis in the Saxena household.
Understanding Kriya
Pratigya grew up on a promise of being married into an equally liberal minded family. In Nitin and her family she saw the potential for the realization of this promise. Her education and family background did not equip her for a reality outside of this promised future or her own tame world.
Krishna grew up on the promise that everything he desired or set his sights on was his to take no questions asked. Law of the jungle. His lack of education left him incapable and ill-equipped him from seeing the impacts of such a promise (which ordinarily would not matter one way or another to him except in the instance of Pratigya).
Pratigya and Krishna (and their families) are from two different universes and never the twain were created to meet. Pratigya married the mob and Krishna got a wife that is far removed from his reality. She came into the relationship with a cold hearted mission and he came with red blooded passion. When the warm and cold front meet all you get is a tornado.
The Kriya marriage was like a game of tug-of-war. The stronger party won based on strength and persistence not based on skill or true desire. In Krishna's eyes, he did no wrong because everything is fair in love and war. In Pratigya's eyes, her decision to marry Krishna was one of pure exhaustion and desperation, motivated in my mind neither by revenge or social purpose. The mission came much later than the decision.
Krishna and Pratiyga are both strong willed individuals and such people rationalize hollow success or total failure in practical terms to derive a level of comfort with the end result. Her decision to teach him a lesson and his decision to misinterpret her revulsion for him (and his way of life) as mere feminine wills/anger is their own individual attempt to accept their reality while controlling their heartbreaking disappointment with the outcome.
Krishna does care for her tremendously but his environment, his upbringing and her constant coldness makes his attempts to act as the civilized, loving, protective husband at best challenging at worst mission impossible.
Pratigya started of being repulsed/intimidated by him, then drawn to his protective and caring nature and now curious and thoughtful about him (it is not openly evident as she mostly has a poker or sad face). Again, her family's opinion of him, her upbringing and his familial environment is a natural killer of any budding emotion that she may have for him. There are many scenes where she is shown to be naturally responding to him and then external influences act as cold wave of reality and a strong reminder of past ills.
Pratigya is as bold a person as Krishna. She knows the right buttons and locations to hit him below the belt (using her sharp words and cold behaviour) and we see Krishna striving for control over his instinctive anger and frustration (u see him walking away from her more than staying with her). This works for Pratigya as she KNOWS that he will not truly hurt her but his distance helps her maintain a status quo which is necessary to stick to her original mission. Krishna is nowhere near Shakti, we know this because Pratigya still looks like a porcelain doll in a china store where the wild bull is still on the loose.
I found that their honeymoon was the turning point in their relationship because it forced them to accept the reality of their marriage (bitter though it was), understand that their differences were more a chasm than a crack and temper both their expectations to manageable level. Had the whole false pregnancy track not been introduced their relationship would have progressed significantly after that point. This is evident in their interaction (outside of the pregnancy issue). She has come to rely on him as her protector (I still remember how shocked she looked when he did not support her in front of his father on the pooja issue and when he did not stop her father from taking her away) and the acceptance of him in this role was always a big hurdle in her mind. The slap was inappropriate and ill timed but his reaction afterwards has helped their relationship (whether she acknowledges it openly or not).
This post has gone on a lot longer than I originally intended but until the honeymoon I saw no Kriya just Krishna and poor Pratigya. The last few epis have helped me see Kriya (they are two firebrands when they are together) and I see a lot of potential (social issues aside ? and there are plenty in this show) provide he learns how to be tactful around her (concern, care and protection are not always enough) and she learns to exercise some much needed tolerance and use her intellectual background to understand his circumstances, his strengths and most importantly his weakness not just his past behaviour and to respond inspite of them.
I see change coming (slowly and surely) and I am stillhopeful.
- So What do you think it will take to actual have a real Kriya rather than this Kriya dream that Krishna is having?
- Do things go to the extreme side or does everything settle at a middle point?
- Do we want to be at the middle point, if so what happens to the fire in Krishna whihc si the reason we are all here?
Let me know your thoughts.
Anupamaa
