Sexual Harassment in India

Originally posted by: SholaJoBhadkey

Reserved. It's too late in the night, but I will definitely come back to it tomorrow! 😛

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

This came up a bit in the Summers in India topic, and perhaps warrants a topic on its own.

This should strike a chord with quite a few women. One of the most frustrating things in India can be being a girl. In many parts of the country, men stare at you. They pass lewd remarks and make lewd gestures. Many even try to take an opportunity to feel you up. You have to be careful. You are always in groups, you never go out alone or far especially at night.

I was born and raised in India, and have been in the states for the past ten years. In the aspect of treatment of women, I have a lot more respect for the society here. It is not perfect, but it is significantly better. I've never had to worry about working or being out late or walking anywhere late night. I've been in crowded clubs, buses etc without ever worrying about someone feeling me up. Yes, when there is a scantily clad girl guys do ogle - but I've rarely seen a woman being harassed or leered at because she was scantily dressed.

Some say you just have to be careful. How much more careful can you get than walking with a group of friends to school in broad daylight through busy streets wearing your schools nazi conservative uniform where they actually regularly check to make sure your skirt is never above your knees? Yet as early as ten we had groups of guys waiting at the sidewalk to pass comments on school girls. I've seen people go to girls sports games to ogle at girls in shorts. Its not as if they are dressing to be provocative.

Some say it is illiteracy, and I would buy that for the most part and in some parts it holds true. But I work in a very rural business with rural folk who dropped out of high school, some who cannot even read or write - big gruff guys who could probably wipe me out with a swipe - but they are always respectful and polite. Awful clothes and fashion sense, but really nice. So illiteracy does not explain it all.

What experiences do women have in treatment of women in India vs other countries?
Is there less respect for women in India or is it relative?

Is it fair to restrict women merely because society cannot respect them? Ought not society change?

Originally posted by: Jess.

What causes such treatment of women?

I agree with what you said in the other topic, its because of the sexually repressed society.
Many people tend to disagree with the theory of sexual repression. But in my observation it seems that lack of sexual awareness and healthy discussion in society is the cause of such behavior. Even in the United States I find abuse and harassment is more common in ultra conservative societies rather than the more progressive ones. When men and women interact more freely, they are both taught to respect each other and appropriately interact. However, in a separatist society men are never taught how to respect women.

Is it fair to restrict women merely because society cannot respect them? Ought not society change?

👏 Agree with the questions 100%---More people ought to think about this.
Most times, women are blamed for the comments saying that they deserved them or what not (from indian serials/ movies etc).
I know. I hate it when I am given the explanation that I am a girl and I have to accept the restrictions. You are telling me that even drunk frat boys can be better mannered than sober Indian men and that is acceptable?

Also, i dont think this happens just in India.
Even here in America, i've noticed that the guys who come from India, are most likely to make comments/whistle etc. All those uncomfortable things...it really upsets me to see "creepy indian guys" here. Even the ones who did not come from India and were born and raised abroad do these kind of things...is it something cultural?

A lot of Indians are given the impression that western people are loose and immoral. They feel that western people are OK with one night stands etc etc. A lot of guys coming from India not only bring some of their attitudes to women, they also expect that women here will willingly make out/sleep with them.

My cousin's wife was telling us about that when her family was looking for rishta, one of the guys was fresh from India and expected her to have sex with him while going through the rishta process and called her backward Indian when she refused and said its common for modern women and she was in America. It was a terrible experience and she refused to consider any rishtas from India due to it.

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

that vidfeo shows.. sexual harrasment is less compared to the west.. since there are several interventions.. and people cant go too far.. also.. since the girl is unyielding to any sexual favors in general.. its likely has some element of hesitation on part of those asking for it... The point is even western world has several cases of harrasment but the women trust this as a mistake.. if it was in a NY subway the girl would ignore it as a mistake.. but in india thats tough.. its veri difficult to sexually harrass.. exploit women because of unions, masses in general .. having said that women will get exploited it they are poor, helpless and illiterate... its tough to fix that except that everybody start ensuring their kids go to school.. so hte women ot 2030 might not be as exploited....

Originally posted by: Jess.

I don't see how sexual harassment is less compared to the west.
Telling by the way the guys were talking and their general look, i would be able to sense that sexual harassment is going on, whether or not i am in India or America. I would not take this as a mistake ANYWHERE. see in the video the guy intervened .....in the west its nobodys business... which is why the incidence is higher.....

I remember that someone in the other thread had posted some sort of statistic that 1 in 6 women in U.S. will have experienced attempted rape or has been raped and the ratio for India was less i think. My thought about this is that being raped is bad enough, but its even worse telling people you've been raped. How many girls do you think were told not to go report to the police because it'll compromise with the girls "izzat" and that she'll never get married? We see this in movies, and i can very well say that it happens throughout many places in India. Not just India, but in a lot of places (talking about India since this topic is about sexual harassment in India).

And i agree with the bold. But what about Sexual Harassers?
You said that women will get exploited whether they are poor, helpless, or illiterate. But what about the guys who sexually harass those women? I dont even think women should be accounted for this (about the whole whether they are poor, helpless, or illiterate), we're talking about the men who sexually harass those women.
We need to know if the men are the ones who are poor, helpless, or illiterate ( i doubt they're helpless though). You cant do ianything about such men.... education can change them, but thats not a guarantee.. but if you look at the number of incidences in mumbai and then in delhi or up or bihar.. you would know education makes a difference.... so...mothers dont teach their boys to respect girls.. right from their toddler age....but again these are possible solutions.. wouldnt knwo id it would work.. after all we dont want a crime free society.. we need the bad guys to understand the importance of good....

What is it that make men want to whistle or make comments or even make a move at women? What triggers those perverted thoughts/behaviors? Mostly every man/boy is born to whistle.. I mean .. most educated men dont do it out of fear of retribution.. there is a whole bunch of those who just dont care and theere will be this bunch always there... which goes toi the point i made above...