desi jokes n stuff

hey i think we shoudl share desi jokes and typical desi dialogues here

so ill starts herz the "aunties" joke

ill b bak wid more later.......

i used to hate weddings

because all the older ages aunties used to poke at me and say:

"ure next"

"ure next"

"ure next"

but they soon stopped saying that when i said the same to them at funerals

A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!" The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our phone book."

joke:

ek musalman hota hai ek hindu hota hai or ek khusra hota hai teeno jahaaz mai hote hai k achaanak jahaz kharab ho jata hai or koodna perta hai musalman YA ALLAH keh ker kood jata hai hindu ram raam ker k kood jata hai akhir mai khusra koodta hai or kehta hai mai UDDI UDDI JAWAN HAWAA DE NAAL

hehehe, ok listen up:
btw all these r forwarded mails..
ASIAN GYALZ
>> >
>> >most asian girls r manufactured copies of eachother :
>> >
>> >They all hav- highlighted*optional ..hair which is always
>>straight
>> >and left out to be messed up by the wind!, contacts which r wrong
>>on
>> >the skin -
>> >
>> >BIG HEELS....to make-up their lack of height!
>> >
>> >hipsters or crops<<<<to show off their so called 'lovely' figure
>> >
>> >U LOOK LIKE SLAPPAS!!!!!
>> >
>> >the essential - Mobile phone (u cant live without it)
>> >
>> >U
walk around wiv a big grin to show u removed ur braces!
>> >
>> >As soon as u get complimented u strut
>>around thinkin u da
>> >bomb!..lol!
>> >
>> >And most boys seem to like that look....y???
>> >
>> >Most gals cant dance -think they good @it but actually dont even
>> >move their feet 4rm da same spot!
>> >
>> >Seem to care soooooooooo! ooooo much about religion but still
>> >smoke,drink and other things which i cant mention......
>> >
>> >And u think ur gods gift!!...u know ur butterz!!!
>> >
>> >Put bare make-up on to cover ur spots and lipgloss/lipstick which
>> >drips off ur lips .
>> >
>> >All try to be rude girls!!!!....etc...go to da temple to check
da
>> >oppposit sex!!...very sad!
>> >
>> >ASIAN BOYZ
>> >
>> >The hair-crop,chewed muff @da front,spikes...all gelled wiv sum
>>gunk
>> >-
>> >
>> >and if and if someone dares to even touch ur hair they better
>>start
>> >writing their will!
>> >
>> >U
>>all seem to have bum fluff on ur face!....tryin to look older u
>> >jus look like poofs!
>> >
>> >Da essential......once again da mobile!!!!
>> >
>> >Shake hands wiv every guy u meet even if u dont know them!
>> >
>> >sit wiv! ur legz soooo far apart!
>> >
>> >Asian boyz vocab- ma bitch,shorty,missio
>>
>ns,nahh,init,seen,skeen,gwan,rahh,safe,blad,geeza,chirps e,skeet,bredrin,whagwan
>> >-
>> >
>> >u think u a black man!
>> >
>> >Listen to garage , r nb....we all know u listen to the shitty
>>hindi
>> >crap!
>> >
>> >Ur motto...every hole is a goal....then u want to marry virgin
>> >marys...wots that all about????
>> >
>> >All wanna be a dj or a mc-pleeez dont even try!
>> >
>> >u have da biggest head in da world...and got too much attitude
>> >
>> >U go out wiv a gal-use and abuse her den move on to da next...u
>>all
>> >playa wannabezzz.......u all jus came out ur nappies so sit ur
>>asses
>> >down!
>> >
>> >dont take it

okie next one:
A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner.....who lives with a
roommate,
a girl named Sunita.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how
pretty Kumar's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a
relationship
between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course
of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if
there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I know what you must be
thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, "Ever since your mother
came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver chutney
jar. You don't
suppose she took it, do you?" Kumar said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email
her, just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mother,
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the chutney jar from my house,
I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the chutney Jar. But the fact
remains
that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Kumar



Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read:

Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying that
you
"do not" sleep with Sunita.
But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would
have
found the chutney jar by now under her pillow...

Love, Mom.



Don't Lie to Your Mother...........especially if she's Asian!

will post more soon 😊

lub ju loads

xXxTinaxXx

lol i luv da funeral 1 '22 funni