Posted:
In this part of the world we have a big problem of temperament. You start a discussion anywhere, in the office, home, friends, assemblies, tv and forums etc. in shortest possible time you see people fuming with rage. No one wants to listen to the other person, his point of view and make any effort to understand as to why is he saying it. Instead we love to interrupt the moment "we" think what is other person is upto and want to respond back in a harshest way possible, being as rude as possible. In short we want to kill him with our words. The discussions moves off the topic and results in to an argument. What a pity!
I think the IForums is a wonderful place for all of us to practice how to discuss and give and take opinions. Instead of going to the club and recreation centers to meet people we can discuss from home.
Here in my suggestion as how do we keep the sanity in our discussions. This suggestion will not cover the topic comprehensively in view of the length of this post but more as a general guideline. (I will be using she and her instead of he/she and his/her)
1. The topic writer should identify whether she needs a feedback or share her thoughts or concerns about any show or if she likes or dislikes a show or an actor/character.
She should always give a background first so that it becomes easier for others to understand her perspective. Then she should be specific as to what she likes or dislikes about it and her opinion as to why she is saying so.
If she wants to share her thoughts or point of view then again she should put a specific statement to make it clear for the people commenting or responding. Preferably Agree or DisAgree, Yes or NO, For and Against.
2. Now for us friends responding to the topics. Let us not use our fixed and per-conceived responses. Understand as to where the topic maker is coming from, what perspective she has and what is her opinion or what sort of input she wants from us. The person commenting should not react, which we are almost tuned to do, jump to kill, instead see whether we agree or disagree with her point of view within that perspective. For instance if our favorite actor is caught stealing in real life and we are asked whether this will leave a bad image on the young fans, we ignore the question and its perspective and write myfavoriteactor roxx!! or point to some other actor as he was also involved in extra marital relationship. Then the fan of that actor jumps in to blame back the first actor who was caught stealing. Such responses takes us nowhere.
If we keep ourselves focused on the topic and give our point of view intelligently then so many people can learn and benefit from our discussions. The owners of shows can easily pickup the drift and understand why do people want the change and what is it they actually want.
So is it possible for us to use IForums to our advantage and groom ourselves in becoming people who can listen, stand people to differ and give in our opinion without breaking the other person's neck?
Why do we do this? Is it our ego? Can't we stand any one to differ with us? or think differently? Do we like to argue instead of discussing? Do we like to let other person down? or we like to ridicule the other person because we don't have respect for others. We mostly would like to prove the other person wrong.
Freedom of speech means that you are responsible for what you say, its being more careful with your words and tone rather than the liberty to be a loud-mouth person who has a freedom to bash anyone.
I think the IForums is a wonderful place for all of us to practice how to discuss and give and take opinions. Instead of going to the club and recreation centers to meet people we can discuss from home.
Here in my suggestion as how do we keep the sanity in our discussions. This suggestion will not cover the topic comprehensively in view of the length of this post but more as a general guideline. (I will be using she and her instead of he/she and his/her)
1. The topic writer should identify whether she needs a feedback or share her thoughts or concerns about any show or if she likes or dislikes a show or an actor/character.
She should always give a background first so that it becomes easier for others to understand her perspective. Then she should be specific as to what she likes or dislikes about it and her opinion as to why she is saying so.
If she wants to share her thoughts or point of view then again she should put a specific statement to make it clear for the people commenting or responding. Preferably Agree or DisAgree, Yes or NO, For and Against.
2. Now for us friends responding to the topics. Let us not use our fixed and per-conceived responses. Understand as to where the topic maker is coming from, what perspective she has and what is her opinion or what sort of input she wants from us. The person commenting should not react, which we are almost tuned to do, jump to kill, instead see whether we agree or disagree with her point of view within that perspective. For instance if our favorite actor is caught stealing in real life and we are asked whether this will leave a bad image on the young fans, we ignore the question and its perspective and write myfavoriteactor roxx!! or point to some other actor as he was also involved in extra marital relationship. Then the fan of that actor jumps in to blame back the first actor who was caught stealing. Such responses takes us nowhere.
If we keep ourselves focused on the topic and give our point of view intelligently then so many people can learn and benefit from our discussions. The owners of shows can easily pickup the drift and understand why do people want the change and what is it they actually want.
So is it possible for us to use IForums to our advantage and groom ourselves in becoming people who can listen, stand people to differ and give in our opinion without breaking the other person's neck?
Kumkum Bhagya
