Things I've learnt from Bollywood movies

Hi everyone ---

It's a kind of game but with some critics added in it - Like a reviewer of BW movies's bloopers, happy incidents or incoherences...

You can choose whatever movie you like but it's better if you choose movies most of people have seen...

I begin with Dhoom 2 😆 (Ok I have to be honest --- some the critics come from another forum) but I'll write some of mines also...

- Mr. A never has trouble getting into a well guarded room to commit a robbery, he just needs tricks to get out.

- If you paint yourself white then you can slide into a room full of guards and no one will notice you

- If you apply your brakes just right you can land a bike or a jet ski on to a boat and come to an immediate and complete halt.

- Indian cops use very short range bullets, you do not even need to duck them - they never get to you, sp. if you are on a boat.

- If your cell phone rings in the middle of a shootout - you must answer the phone.

- Indian Police have the technlogy to keep breathing under water when on a jet ski.

- Actually come to think of it, Indian Police have a lot of technology, just not the technology to shoot bullets and have them find the mark.

- Come to think of it, the Queen's guards don't know how to shoot either even if the thief is being pulled along by a moving train and they are on the roof of said train.

- Oh, I get it - these cops, security guards are hired for abilities other than their ability to shoot straight.

- If you say "like" enough times people will forget you are thirty and believe you are an airheaded teenager from Orange County.

- Wearing skimpy clothes will help with 30 above.

-Mumbai's traffic + Sewage + Marathon = Mr.A's boon.

- Shooting in public and heavy traffic allowed for Cops.

- U need just one tiny point of light source to project a 3d image of a diamond.

- security guards watch everything except the diamond and of course floor & statues.

- none of the main cops wear uniform.

- Rover thing stealing gem Vs Dharmendar stealing Shalimar (which was more brilliant)

- Mr.A doing the skating on the rail Vs Vin Diesel Skating with Tray in XXX

- Just a ticket and passport may get u to Rio.

- Wonder if u speed up the slow scenes, will the movie be within 2 hrs ?

- Ali's aim since d1 a) get married b) do not follow family planning.

- Ali's job a) ride bikes b) act as a buffon

-The ususal one.....when bullet strikes it gives to sparks !!!!

- A + 8 wheeler skates goes faster than Ali+1000cc Bike.

- If u trust Mr.A then dont think twice, jump from the cliff !!!!

-U can always find a path to jump no matter how heavy is the traffic or how big is the thing over which u are jumping.

-A trip to Rio + 6 months in Fiji + Monali to accompany u + A song + Ride and catch Aish + leave the headache to Jai .... any1 understands?

- If there is a gang of thieves send Ali as mole. If there is a solo, send Aish as mole.

- Jai doesnt wear glasses in d2, so wat is equivalent of "Chasma Uttaroon Kya"

- Mr.A doesnt use guns at all. So shoot him at ur own will.

-You know your fiance has been killed because of terrorists whose identity has been fortunately revealed to you and instead of giving the information to the police, you decide to take care of them on your own.

-You know that a plane is supposed to undergo a terrorist attack while you're being made prisoner and during the only one occasion you have to call the police/airport authorities, you dial one of the passenger to warn her.

-You are a terrorist and you live in a terrorist neighborhood.

-After being shot like twice, you'll be still standing up.

-After coming back from your terrorist activities, you expect that your wifey will understand your cause and be kind to you, after threatening her into killing her father is she goes to the Police.

-You're a terrorist and an attentive husband.

-You are terrorists and you kill people in your cave and you talk about your terrorist plan without even thinking once that you may be caught.

-You are a terrorist and you keen on involving a new student of yours in your terrorist activities without investigating about his life and job.

-Your third brother has been killed, and to get your revenge of his murderers, you need to take his corpse in the car with you.

-You work for a NGO which spreads Aids and condom use awareness and you get incidentally your girlfriend pregnant because she's a Home science topper.

-You have a girlfriend but you don't know her real identity.

-You're a corrupted politician and you have diabete and you truly adore your younger sister, her name is Sweety though.

-You're a Bengali gangster and your name is Mikhail --- which is a russian name.

-You're a Kamina and your fiance is a classy and stylish woman named FoSia and during all your dangerous journey - we don't get a glimpse about what your relationship with her is made of.

-In the end, you get her a ring with a big diamond.

I like Kiko ---- am a shahid's fan anyway I'am supposed to love most of his movies...

If you are good looking, you can still talk to your house and guarantee that some guy would still want to pick you up without thinking you're stupid

Any queen would be totally horrified to learn how they are portrayed in Bollywood movies

If you are a thief and you want to get away, just dress up as a little kid and shuffle through the crowd on your knees. I'm sure no other kid will say anything

Someone as stupid as Ali is capable of becoming a cop and for that matter, allowed to carry a gun

You can get out of the water after being totally underwater on a jet ski, and still not be wet

Every female cop must walk like a model and be stared at at all times

When you are in the middle of gunfire you would really answer your mobile phone

The phrase "funny guy" should be banned from the english language

After a tender sensual flirty scene, you feel the need to run your way to Egypt for some reason after being said that your "sweet meat shop" worths it like L'Oreal and God that was just a LONG run!

After being rejected kindly by your childhood sweetheart, you tell him to get the girl he wants sacrificing you.....whereas like 20 minutes ago you were so happy to get officially engaged to him.

You're an overweight kid and some other children chase you for some reason - instead of being protected by your older brother - you run away from him telling him to speed up his flirty chat.

You're a loud punjabi girl and you'd never have thought that Raichand junior could have any interest in you - after like 7 Suraj Hua Madham lovedream minutes, you keep running in the rain then stop your race to realize that you're only a middle class girl

Your name is Pooja, "Poo" for more intimate people and you're like the role model of Paris Hilton...

Your name is still Pooja and for some reason you like saying "Alleluia" even if you're not in a church

You were an overweight black eyed boy at the beginning of the movie stuffing your face with sweet ladoos then like 2 hours later you become a HOT green eyed stud with a colgate smile and yeah you still like eating ladoo

You're a jodi with one child and you still argue like some KKHH college best friends and for some reason it does sound the same with a reverse effect....

Your name is Pooja and you rate the sexiness of your college mates

Your name is Pooja "Poo" - and you go to a British college in which there are cheerleaders who encourage british american footballers.

😆

🤣 (Excuse me while I laugh..the heck off)

-Mumbai's traffic + Sewage + Marathon = Mr.A's boon.

OMG OMG soooo true... Mr A sailing from one gutter to another.. 😆 and he was literally flying out of them defying all laws of gravity.. and they made it seem as if this is like the kewlest thing anyone could ever do...😆

-You have a girlfriend but you don't know her real identity.

Very true.. but it suits Shahid well.. haha