Keep Me Alive
"Keep me alive doctor. Keep me alive" I begged him practically kneeling down by his side, tears flowing down my cheeks. "please doctor please" I begged as he gave a disappointing look to the nurse as he checked my pulse. I shrieked with pain as they inserted needles into my hands and left.
"Please be alive, please be. I want to be alive till I see him, I feel him and hear him. come back from slumber. Please" I patted my own body which was lying motionlessly on the bed with a nonchalant look. But my hand passed past my body. I didn't feel it. "please,please….."I prayed standing by the wall, my eyes closed not able to see myself in the state.
I know there are too many people like me lying ther motionlessly with doctors hustling and moving around, making efforts to save them. But that realization doesn't soothe me or calm me, but hurt me more to know he too might be there somewhere, his body hurting, aching, I can't see him in that state,I can't. all this is a result of an air crash, hundreds tormented souls wanting to be back into their bodies like me, few vanishing into this air as doctors covered their faces getting no heartbeat, pulse. Every method of making them survive has gone In vain. I don't want to vanish like them, I atleast want a last entry into my own body to see him smile, feel him and kiss him goodbye.
~~
"please love. Please come back for me". My eyes sprung open hearing his voice. He was looking normal, healthy. I thanked god for the moment. He has recovered. How many days it have been, I looked around for a calendar, finally saw it on a wall. It has been two months now. A long time. I never realized. I was deeply in my prayer for his well being and for my last chance .
Looking at him fully recoverd and here beside me I felt my eyes becoming heavy but no tears flowed. He was there pleading me, sitting beside my body, his eyes with tears, his hand gently massaging my forehead. I could feel it,I touched my forehead feeling his touch as he gently patted lovingly. So tormented was my soul that I hadn't stepped out of my room, standing there waiting for the call from my body to repossess it. Finally seeing him here my heart that has been silent screamed with joy , I fell rejuvenated. Maybe his touch has the current to keep me alive.
"Please love, please" he said In between his sobs once again. It's been an hour since he has been pleading me to come back, crying by my side hiding his face into the sheets. His moving shoulders showed how much he was crying. Then why was I ruthlessly standing here looking at him but not soothing him, assuring him, I was by his side. I gently put my hand on his shoulder but It just passed him but I think he felt it as he turned to see if anyone was there.
How elated I am to see him feel me. I am so happy he loves me truly. I feel finally relieved to have a person who wuld love me forever. I am happy seeing the distance we have traveled together. From two strangers forced into a lifetime journey to one soul who shared their lives willingly, who loved each other truly and unconditionally.
"Please Love. DON"T U LOVE ME" he asked me angrily waiting for my cheesy reply which I always used to give him. I smiled at his trial but how was I to say him how much I love him, how much I want myself back to life to just feel his love, to take away his pain, to see the smile back on to his lips. To fight with him, to let him pamper me. I just want to get out of the grip of death that was holding me, not letting me back.
"Sir, please understand sir. It's been too many days. Her heartbeat,pulse Is missing. She is being forced to breathe with all the ecternal artificial respiratory system. Her body not reacting to any medication, not even showing a trace of life. Please sir. I am sorry to say this but accept the fact that she is no more" the doctor said and left abruptly patting him with sympathy.
"Don't u dare do that doctor. I am still alive. Look my soul is here" I angrily shouted at the retreating doctor. I didn't want this moment be end of me. I wanted to be with my love, my husband. I am just not ready.
"Sir, would u mind waiting outside" the nurse said to my husband who was sitting there still with a pleading look, asking for me to be back. I could see him not willing to accept that I was no more, but was forced to believe it.
"Bye LOVE, maybe it is time for me to go now. I have been given enough time to see u, feel u. but being selfish, I am demanding for more. I set u free from the bond and myself from this tormenting state. I am going where I was set to. I love u and will always love u" I said looking at his retreating figure, my soul quivering like a moving image on tv screen, feeling the needles being removed from my hand, respiratory system pulled out of me I lost my body. I am finally free from my body, from the mortal world. I will remember him always and will wait till I get a call from his again in the mortal world to be loved, pampered and cared.
~~
kissing my cheeks are my tears,
is it out of happiness or disappointment,
is it for the failure or anger,
i ask myself only to get an answer,
they are a relaxing action,
set them free to flow.
~~~
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thankyou.😊
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