Don't say Alvida (Part 1 updt. Page 2)

Anjaana70 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#1
So guys as per the promise here is my first fanfic on PE forums. I hope u all will appreciate it and give ypur full support to me to make this ff a memorable one. Right now i am just giving the character sketch of the main characters plus the intro of the story
Edited by Yug-Deepika - 15 years ago

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Anjaana70 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#2
Intro of the story:
The story revolves around three families- The walia family, The Malhotra family and the Khanna family. The main story revolves around three best friends- Jai Walia, Arvind Khanna and Karan Malhotra and around their families. Their friendship, their relationship,their troubles, their enemies n their lives. Although the story has its base on old characters, the main story is mixed with the story and lives of the children of these families. The main protaganists of my story is the younger generation. Now i am giving a short intro of the characters:
Anjaana70 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#3
Character Intro:
1) The Khanna Family:
ACP Arvind Khanna(Arun Govil): ACP of Mumbai Police, Arvind Khanna is a dedicated and honest police officer for whom his country comes first. For his country , he can stake any precious thing of his life. Dedicated and Committed to his duty , ACP Arvind Khanna is the pride of Mumbai Police.
Savitri Khanna(Supriya Pilgaonkar): Savitri Khanna. Wife of ACP Arvind Khanna is a lively example of a dutiful wife and an affectionate mother . As a wife she understands completely the duty and responsibility of his husband towards his country as a police officer and supports him to the core. For her children ,she is the perfect mother who can make them learn the difference between right and wrong.
Shantanu Khanna(Amit Jain): Eldest of the two childrens of Arvind and Supriya Khanna, Shantanu Khanna is just the replica of his father ACP Arvind Khanna in character n manners. A complete health freak and a man of principles, for him , his father is his ideal.
Pawni Khanna (Akanghsa Rawat): Younger sister of Shantanu Khanna and daughter of Arvind and Savitri Khanna, Pawni Khanna is a beautiful n energetic girl who is the life of her entire family and an ideal mixture of aggression n affection.
2) Walia Family:
Jai Walia (Ram Kapoor): A renowed industrialist and Owner of Walia Group of Industries . A man who is known for his principles in the business world where each and every principle is changed or broken for professional interest. If anything is against his principles, he is not gonna do that at any cost in his professional as well as personal life.
Meera Walia(Pallavi Subhash): Wife of Jai Walia and a true portrayal of Indian dusky beauty. When Jai and Meera met for the purpose of marriage, what attracted Meera the most was Jai's principles and his clear cut attitude towards life. She is and ideal wife and ideal mother and wants her children to be just like their father i.e, Mr. Jai Walia.
Aditya Walia (Jatin Sial): Younger brother of Jai Walia who helps his brother in business n respects his principles.
Jigyasa Walia(Ashwini Kalsekar): Wife of Aditya Walia who loves her husband and their family very much.
Nandini Walia(Priya Bhateja): The eldest among the children of Walia family, Nandini Walia is the ideal daughter of her family who loves and respects her elders, can do anything for her younger brothers . She helpsr her father MR. Jai Walia and her uncle Aditya in business. She loves her mother n aunty and helps them in their kitchen too. In short, she is a complete match of working woman and house maker. Not to add, she is drop dead gorgeous.
Prem Walia(Harshad Chopra): Younger among the two kids of Jai and Meera Walia, Prem Walia is the hot favorite of the college in which he studies with his cousin . Almost brilliant in his studies, he has a carefree attitude towards life unlike his elder sister Nandini and younger cousin and for which he becomes the object of his father's anger n scoldings but it doesn't mean that he has taken undueadvantage of his good looks and he never crosses his limit. He is responisble in his own way and has a flair for boxing.
Dhruv Walia(Ajay Choudhary): Youngest amongst the Walia Kids and the only child of Aditya and Jigyasa Walia, Dhruv walia seems much more mature than his cousin brother Prem Walia. He is a different type of guy least interested in his family business n much more interested in music and poetry. He has got good looks in heritance from his family. His biggest dream is to gain name and fame in the music world.
3) The Malhotra Family
Karan Malhotra (Hiten Tejwani): Bindaas. This is the word to describe Karan Malhotra in short. Among all the three friends, Karan Malhotra is the only one who has done love marriage and he is the most good looking and most cool guy among the three friends. Even after loosing his wife, whom he loves to the core due to cancer, he never gave up positive attitude towards his life and enjoys his life to the core. He knows the preciousness of human life . He is a writer by profession who owns a big and successful publishing house, Basu publications.
D.K. Punj(Satyajeet Verma): Brother in law of Karan Malhotra and married to Karan's elder sister Sia malhotra. D.K is a man with a golden heart who is always ready to help Karan.
Sia Punj(Malhotra) (Papiya Sen Gupta): Karan's elder sister. Loves her husband and her brother too much and she was the one who had taken complete responsibility of Karan n his son Ronit along with her family after the death of Karan's wife Nandita Malhotra. Loves Karan's spon Ronit like her own son.
Photo missing???????
Ronit Malhotra(???????)- Old as much as Shantanu and Nandini, Ronit is the most naughty kid among the three families. Having all the traits of his father, Ronit was the life of his father Karan, who had given him all his naughtiness and other habits in heritance along with his good looks and a well built physique.
He is a complete prankstar who can make fool out of anyone, except her younger cousin sister.
Heer Punj(Aditi Gupta): As indicated by the name, she is a pour soul. She is not a beauty queen and has an image of girl next door . Her seriouness and simplicity is the secret of her flawless beauty. She is the one who has his elder brother as her best and closest pal and whom she admires the most.
Edited by Yug-Deepika - 15 years ago
Anjaana70 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#4
i hope u all like the intro. i will post the first part as soon as possible. Till then, please let me know about your comments and thoughts for the story. Thanks a lot once again
Bul3 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#5
loved the intro but unable to see all the pics..looking forward for your FF..
findme thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#6
Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Great FF!!!!!!!!!!! But Hiten has no heroine here also!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😆 😆 😆 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!poor guy!!!!!!!!!!!! 🤢 🤢 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But really good story line...............wish if the creatives of the serials come up with serials with such story line and above all such wonderful casting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 👏
nikita_ght thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#7
but why u gave so old role to hiten. i dont like this idea.
RosyRosh thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#8
WOW! Great! AMazing start! Glad our forums getting some dedicated members! Happy to see fanfics emerge! Hope to see more activity here guys!
Anjaana70 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#9
thanks a lot for such great reply friends. I am really honoured and thanks for such beautiful comments. I will try to update whenever i will be free. And Bul3 , i think now the problem with the pics is solved and ghotu, don't be so upset yaar. Right now i can say only that there is a reason behind everything . Thanks a lot friends once again for such great support and comments.😉
Note: Actually i want to ask something. I am going to write the whole story in english, but the dialouges between the characters in hindi. Is that Ok with all of u or shud i write the dialouges also in english. For time beiong i am going to write the dialouges in first part in hindi. Please feel free if someone has a problem in understanding hindi dialouges. I will write the dialouges in english too.. Thanks😊
Edited by Yug-Deepika - 15 years ago
Anjaana70 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#10

Part 1: Delhi:

A residential colony at Basant Kunj.

Time: Morning 9.00 AM.

Venue: A children's park in middle of the residential colony.

A group of 7 children was busy in playing hide and seek. Actually they were not playing but the eldest of the three, two boys and one girl were engaged in a fight regarding the game .
Shantanu(pointing at the other boy): Tune cheating ki hai.
Ronit(acting innocently): Jee nahin. Maine koi cheating nahi ki.
Nandini(supporting shantanu): Tune ki hai! Hum sab ne dekha hai. Tu jaan bujh ke Heer ke saamne gaya taki woh tujhe aasani se dhoond le.
Ronit(trying to save himself): Pehli baat to maine cheating nahi ki hai. Aur agar maine aisa kiya bhi hai to usme galat kya hai. Woh choti hai, 5 baar den de chuki hai. It's ok for her.
Shantanu(getting aggressive): To kya hua? Ye game hai. Game ke kuch rules hote hai jo sabhi par follow hote hain?? Woh tumhari behan hai to uske liye rules nahi badlenge.
Nandini: Aur Heer hi kya? Isse pehle Pawni aur Prem bhi 7 baar den de chuke hain. Tab to tumne kuch nahi kaha??
Ronit: Main kyun kahoon? Jab tum logon ne us time kuch nahi kaha to mujhe kya problem thi? But Heer thak gayi hai. Woh ab den nahi degi. Uski jagah main den dene ko taiyaar hoon? isme problem kya hai??
Shantanu: Aisa nahi hoga.
Ronit: To phir main nahi khelunga. (Saying that he looked at his little sister who was sitting in a little white frock and sharing a choclate with little Prem who was wearing a yellow shirt with black half -pants ) Heer, chalo, hum nahi khelenge.
Heer, who was sitting innocently till now, got up on his big brother's order and starts marching towards him, snatching the choclate from Prem's hands. Prem, unable to understand her sudden behaviour, starts crying as he had to leave the choclate.
Nandini: Ye cheating hai Ronit.
Ronit: Jo bhi ho. Ab hum nahi khelenge.
Shantanu: Tujhe jaana hai to ja lekin Heer ka agar man hai to woh jaroor khelegi.
Heer(holding Ronit's hands with her tiny fingers annd reciprocating his words in her childish tone): Ab. hum... nai...... khenge.
Marching her little steps with her brother's Heer left the park with Ronit.
Shantanu(in a spoiled mood): Ok... jaata hai to jaane do.. Samajhta kya hai?? Uski wajah se hum apna game nahi bigadenge.
At the same time, Nandini goes near crying Prem.
Nandini(with concern): Kya hua Prem? Ro kyun raha hai??
Prem (in a compaling tone mixed with childish emotions): Meri choc.late...
Nandini(trying to pacify him): Koi baat nahi. Woh uski choclate thi. Woh le gayi. Abhi shop par chalkar aur le lena.
Prem(trying to cool down with hiccups): Par woh choclate meri thi.... Mummy ne di thi.... Woh.... le gayi.
Nandini: What???
Shantanu: Koi baat nahi. Abhi shop par chalenge. Tab doosri le lena. Chalo , abhi khelein
Saying that, he looked at his little sister Pawni , who was moving in the direction of their house.
Shantanu(calling her): Pawni..
Pawni stopped and looked at his brother.
Shantanu: Hum game dobara shuru kar rahein hain. Kahan ja rahi hai?
Pawni(with varied emotions of restlessness on her little face): Mujhe ...... potty.... aayi hai.
With that, she started running towards their house.
Shantanu was like oh shit!
Nandini looked at Prem who was constantly crying for a chocolate.
Nandini(To Shantanu): Ye ab chocolate liye bina chup nahi hoga.
Shantanu: Waise bhi... ab game to ho nahi sakta. Chalo ... ghar hi chalte hain.
Nandini called Dhruv who was busy in another corner of the park playing silently with the flowers. She holds the hand of Dhruv and Prem and they all left from there.
Basant Kunj:
House no 43.
House of ACP Arvind Khanna
The main hall.
A man, in his early thrities was dressing up in his police uniform. Big eyes , full of confidence, face full of determination to face any challenge and a positive body language. This is the description for Mr. Arvind Khanna, ACP of Delhi police.
Arvind(calling her wife): Arre Savitri! Yaar main late ho raha hoon. Where is the breakfast??
Savitri(coming out of kitchen with breakfast in her hands): Here it is.
Arvind was having his breakfast when Shantanu entered into the house.
Arvind: Arre! Kya hua. Aaj tum log badi jaldi aa gaye.
Shantanu: Haan! Aaj game jaldi khatam ho gaya. Sab us Ronit ki wajah se.
Arvind: Kyun? Kya hua?
Shantanu desribes each and every incident.
Arvind(nodding his head with disbelief): Ye karan aur uska beta! Doni bilkul ek jaise hain.
Savitri: Ab isme Karan ki kya galti hai??
Arvind: Arre tum nahi jaanti use. Ek no. ka chaalu hai. Aur uska beta usse bhi do kadam aage hai.
In House no 48, a.k.a, the Walia house, the debate was on, on the same topic.
Meera: Aap bhi na, baat baat par Karan ko beech mein le aate hain.
Jai (who was in a plain kurta with news paper in hands): Uski harkatein hi aisi hain. Woh apne aap hi beech mein aa jata hai.
At the same time, Nandini passes from there with books in her hands and behind him Prem, munching chocolate.
Jai (to Nandini): So back to studies .
Nandini smiles and nodded in positive.
Jai (smiling at her): Great. (Looking at Prem) Tumhara homework kahan hai?
Prem(continuing to munch the chocolate ): Mera.. mera...
Jai(snatching the chocolate from his hands): Pehle homework khatam karo. Uske baad ye milegi.
Prem made a complaining face, but leaves from there without uttering any word.
Jai(leaving the chair): Main abhi aata hoon.
Meera, totally aware of where he was heading, got busy in her daily routine without asking anything.
House no 50.
Malhotra Mansion.
Ronit was busy in his latest crush, a hi- fi play station which Karan had bought for him last week . He was also busy teaching little Heer about the game who looked equally interested in it.
At the same time, a man, man, aging nearly the same as of Jai and Arvind , having short hair, deep eyes, having child like innocence on his face and a well toned physique comes appeared behind them. His perfectly shaped and sweating body was the evidence of all the hardwork he had done in the gym.
He looked at Ronit and Heer totally engrossed into the game, then picked his spects up and after rubbing them a couple of times, puts them up on his eyes. He was Karan Malhotra, a brilliant writer and the owner of one of the largest publishing house of the country Malhotra Publications He was in a mood of conversation with his son right now.
Karan(To Ronit): Jo kuch maine suna , kya woh sahi hai?
Ronit(without looking at him): Haan.
Karan(pausing the game): To tumne sachmuch game rok diya. Heer ki wajah se.
Ronit: Haan. Heer bhi ek wajah thi aur main bore bhi ho gaya tha. Seedhe tarah se to woh log game band karne ko maante nahi. Isliye ...
Karan(totally delighted on his son's intelligence): Great (patting the back of Ronit) Ye hui na Ronit Malhotra wali baat. Aaj to mera sir garv se unncha ho gaya. Great going.
Karan puts the game on again and Ronit , accepting politely the appreciation of his father gets busy into the game again.
At the same time , Sia, elder sister of Karan, who was watching all this came there and started looking at Karan. Karan got the meaning of that look and started looking here and there.
Sia(confronting Ronit): Ronit. Tumne apna homework kar liya.
Ronit(without paying attention to her): bas five minutes Bua.
Sia(turning off the playstation): Koi 5 minute nahi. Pehle homework karo. Aur abhi Nandini ka phone aaya tha. Shaam ki rehersals ke liye. Uske baad ye sab...
Ronit, totally disappointed , looked at Karan, who simply nodded his head, sending him the signals to do as instructed , otherwise he and his father, both would be finished.
Ronit got up and makes way for his room, followed by Heer.
Sia looked back at Karan, who quickly picked up the newspaper to save himself from a 100% possible tornedo.
Sia was about to say something, but before she could do so, a shout coming from outside of their house captured her and Karan's attention.
" Karan malhotra!!!!!!!!!!come out".
Karan and Sia looked at each other, then getting up who it could be, they made thier way to the door.
Edited by Yug-Deepika - 15 years ago

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