Being educated vs. Being cultured!

I was wondering about this since i saw the episode where Sulochana breaks off the relationship with Manav's family. One dialog that struck me was when she talked about how good educations earns a person his culture and good manners and teaches them the proper way to live and behave in a society which is what is lacking in Manav's family. She claims it was the reason she sought an educated guy for Archana and not because an educated boy comes with good earnings.


Now , being that i am a young girl with a family who is on the look out for prospective grooms.. how much do i or you agree with this notion?
Unlike Archana i don't have a problem of being less educated or not having a job or being able to stand on my own feet. I am an independent working woman of this age. Still when i seek a life partner i seek someone who is at least as educated as me. WHY? The primary argument in my head is that a guy who has not been through schooling like me would not be as open and broad minded in his thoughts and opinions and i would therefore have a hard time adjusting with a man who doesn't share the same value system.

And this opinion i have comes from my experience of meeting with several prospective grooms. The ones i have met who have not traveled much out of their town or who have had less exposure to the issues of the world are less likely to understand my POV on several points that govern a persons life and personality. And how does one live with a person who doesn't have this basic nature of understanding where the other person is coming from.

My question however is, does this nature to understand another from thier prespective come with education? or is it something innate.. or is it something taught to us by our surrounding/culture/life style? Does one need considerable amount of knowledge...or wisdom that may only be afforded with higher education to know and accept/understand people as they are.

In today's world a person less educated is solely because he/she cannot afford it. No one chooses to be uneducated (do they?) So with the illiteracy also comes poverty..which brings its own kind of evil in the surrounding that you live in. So how much is really the effect of education and how much is the effect of social conditioning? Would Savita aunty be such an unagreeable woman if she had not had to deal with the rough and tough life of the chawl? Would she value relationships more if she had had a more responsible husband like Sulochana has. Would she be less greedy if she had not had to struggle for each meal?

An interesting point of discussion JC. Let me state my views.

Annie i like your explanation of why we tend to look for people who are similar to us.

But my post was not pointing out the difference in education as in between really affluent people and those who are from the middle class families like you pointed out.

I agree that education will bear no fruit if one doesn't let in the knowledge that is being imparted.

The point i was making is that to one whom life has not given the opportunity to learn the good things taught in schools and likely such a person comes from a below the poverty line (not middle class) who may or may not have parents who take responsibility for his/her education...so by virtue of ....whats the word.. this person will be born and brought in a situation where there aren't people around to teach good values.. one who struggles through life every step of the way and does not meet or hear about the great and good people of history and of today... how likely is it that this person will become a better part of society.

If he/she is lucky to have a role model in his/her life.. like say Manav has his uncle to look up to.. one who guides him and one whose advise and values Manav takes on (tho Manav takes it to another level).. and then there is Sachin who is in the same family, has the same uncle and also has an elder brother to look up to and still follows a different path..

Then there is Manav's sister who could very well take after her mother but from what we have seen of her so far she seems different. Whats the reason for this difference? Is it that she has a brighter future to look forward to because her brother works hard to send her to college, unlike her mother who has suffered much in her marriage and due to her illiteracy.
Compare her to Manju who, although educated, seems to not let that education seep into her thick brain and rather follows her mother's dicatates.

Consider that Manav was not able to provide for his sister's education and she was a girl who sat at home, helping her mother all day, doing the same day to day bickering and fighting with shopkeepers that her mother does... would she become more like her mother.. would the regular exposure to that behavior make her more like Savita.

Its not really a matter of wealthy vs. middle classs. But its more a matter of ignorance and pride (Ego) standing in the way of knowlege and enlightenment. People who struggle so much in life that their first thought on waking up is whether they will have enough food to feed themselves and their children today, are usually so caught up in their daily troubles that they have no time to spare for a thought about their neighbor or the rest of the world. They tend to not see what is beyond their basic need for the moment and its human nature to be thus blinded when our basic needs are not met.
Culture and education are needs of the mind.. a mind that is not worried about how to feed its stomach today.

Ok i d k where i am headed with this. I completely lost my train of thought.😕

I know what you mean JC...and I do agree with you. It is the eternal debate of nature Vs nuture....which plays a more important role in deciding what you are. Whatever the theories be, it is quite clear that our day to day happenings, what we see around us, who we interact with on a regular basis, forms our character. In rare cases, people will have the innate ability to think and decide if what they see, hear or are taught are really good or bad and have the intelligence to choose the right path. But a vast majority of people get moulded by what they are put through in life. The struggles you endure in life can affect you in two ways - either it makes you bitter and rough like Manav's aai, or it makes you a stronger person, like Manav himself. That is the beauty of human nature - the same situation can affect two people in two different ways.

Beautiful Work
You 2 have added so much that i need not add anything else


Just wanna add
I do believe that Education is a must. We must never think that education does'nt give us anything. B'coz its something that has value and shall always support you in your near future. But i certainly dont believe that an educated human being would only be well mannered and Good.

Mannerism, Respect for elders, Honestly need not necessarily only be found among Educated individuals as all this is actually gained by ppl around you. Your parents, Your friends, relatives all of them togethere make a human being what he or she is. If you are among a good environment then u turn a good human and vice-a-versa.

Archana's mother Sulochana wants archana to get married in a well settled family just becoz she does'nt want archana to have a nice wealthy life. Which any mother would want her daughter to have. But to believe that only Educated Guys would give archana a happy life is i dont agree to.
On the other hand Savita i believe her situations have made her so, a husband who could'nt take the responsibilty of the house. At an early age her son had to leave his education and take up his house responsibilities. So she wants her other son Sachin and daughter Vandita to have a happy life and somewhere i do think she counts on her son Sachin to be well educated and gain a good job so that thier way of living changes



Its Situations that change a human's destiny. Had Manav's father had little bit of courage & taken up his responsibity, Manav would have been an educated Man. But his father lost all hopes which made manav sacrifice his education so that he could earn a living for his family.

Well said all of u I agree with every word u've said