Antara's diary......27th

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skeptical

@skeptical

Inactive

Posted: 16 years ago

Dear friends,

All the five days of the week will be logged on the first page, so that you dont have to sift through pages searching for the day's entry.

27^th July,

The page is getting wet with my falling tears

That are filled with horrible anxious fears

Is it too much to ask to be free?

Why won't they just let me be?

Arti bua brought me home. Papa was pacing up and down like a caged tiger when we entered. He quickly knelt and pulled me close to him. Seeing him was seeing heaven, and I burst into tears…………. I felt so much better and, and …..safe. But I wanted to be alone …. with Mamma so I pushed him away and went to the balcony. It's my favourite place….. a place that gives me solace. I stood in the balcony searching for the brightest star in the sky. The palms were swaying and the cool breeze blew gently. It was so kind…..the breeze that is. It was trying to cool my aching weals. It was paining me and burning me. Behind me I could hear Papa yelling a lot at Bua.

Sob…..sob……Oh Mamma, my arms are paining. Abhi came and saw me crying and asked me why so. He and Papa were talking. Papa said I was special. Abhi like me couldn't understand why Arti bua was always shouting at me. Papa was looking so sad and guilty. When he took my hand in his, I went with him. I always feel protected when he is near. He tucked me in bed and stroked my hands to ease the pain. Tears continued to roll down my cheeks. I was sad, frightened and hurting……..but I was thankful that Papa was near me……….He asked me what happened there. What could I say? He too was crying now and asked me to forgive him because he couldn't protect me from those ladies. He promised to make me a brave girl, a bold girl to be able to look after myself. He lay beside me. I didn't feel so alone anymore. Sleep came and whispered softly in my ears and tapped on my eyelids to close them.

My throat pained with my sorrow

I didn't want to see tomorrow

Papa's loving hands stroked with care

Through my sobs I continued to stare

Till the fairies came with their sleep dust

To sprinkle over my tired eyelids first

I slowly and surely slept in Papa's arms

Which would keep away any harm.

In the morning, Papa was feeding me my cereal. Abhi was eating his paratha. He told Papa to give me some of his stuff. His mother makes it very well he said. Maybe. But I love what my Mamma has always given me. My yummy cornflakes !

Arti bua returned and tearfully apologised to Papa. Papa as usual forgave her. He is such a softie…… Bua came and apologised to me. I didn't know what to say. But I was happy to go to school and couldn't stop myself from voicing my joy.

Today became special because that lady with the wonderful voice, took me to Vikram Uncle's clinic. I remembered my Mamma and softly smiled….…

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Frequent Posters

skeptical

@skeptical

Inactive

Posted: 16 years ago

28th July

Today was full of surprises. Want to know why? Then read on ......

Abhi's mummy brought me to the clinic. I like this place. The children are so different from Abhi and that awful Billo. These guys keep to themselves and don't disturb me. At times they do come and say something but don't nag or yell if I don't answer. I left Abhi's mum to go to my seat. I do so love it here. Vikram Uncle came and wanted me to come and jump on some round thing. When I stood on it, it was not firm and it sagged with my weight. Eeeks...I didn't like it at all. What if I fell? Another boy came and showed me how to jump. Vikram uncle caught my hands and put me on the stand again. On his insistence, I gingerly tried to jump. Oh!!! It was so nice....... a wonderful spongy feeling of going up and down!!!

I didn't say a word

Felt just like a bird

Bounce, bounce, bounce

Flounce, flounce, flounce

With a smile on my lips

My heart did flip

As I went through the dips

Like a sailing ship ......

It was a nice day

Fun all the way

Butterflies are free

Just like me......

And after that Vikram uncle and I went through some more drill. I like him. He is so nice. Not as nice as my Papa but the next best. With his help I identified what I ate for breakfast everyday and what I drink when I'm thirsty. But let me tell you a secret, when he asked me what my favourite food was... I knew it and didn't need any coaxing. I put my hand on icecream. I love that cold sweet thing. How it goes down your throat cooling it! Yummmmm... I like soft food, you know.

Papa came to take me in the evening. But Vikram uncle was a little curt with him. He was angry that someone had hurt me. But it was not Papa. Why does Vikram Uncle not like Papa. I don't know what to do. 😕 I like both of them so much.

Edited by skeptical - 16 years ago

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skeptical

@skeptical

Inactive

Posted: 16 years ago

29^th July

Dear Diary,

I got a spooky feeling last night as if someone looked into my room and was staring……. I wonder who that could be. I wasn't frightened just sleepy, I know Papa got up too. Strange……. he sat up and then went back to sleep. *giggle*

Next morning Abhi's mum had cooked halwa for breakfast. It looked so gross……not at all appetising. She dished out halwa for all of us. Papa said it was yum and Abhi was slurping. I looked at it closely (so many times), but oh no……… where were my delicious cornflakes?

It looked so dry

Abhi ate it Oh my

Papa said …do try

Not me Papa…not I

I went to the clinic without eating anything.

It was nightfall and there was a spread on the dining table. Papa wondered why and asked Abhi's mum about it. She thought I would like something new. I always knew she was a kind lady although she didn't like me much. Abhi sat down and insisted that he be served too. Sometimes when he is jealous he sulks. When he does that he looks cute!! *hee hee* I wasn't prepared to try anything new. Why don't people understand that I like eating what I am used to? I don't like new things. I don't like them at all. Abhi told both his mummy and my Papa that I should be given my all time favourite dal chawal…What a clever boy he is!!! And the only sane person at the table…. besides me of course……. Finally the pretty lady told Papa to give me the soft yolks. I readily opened my mouth when Papa brought the spoon to me.

The circles of gold

Made me so bold

Didn't need to be told

Opened my mouth to hold

Yummy was the taste

As I ate in haste

The yellow eggy paste

Never would I waste.

It is time to sleep now…………..Good night !!!!!! 🥱

Edited by skeptical - 16 years ago

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skeptical

@skeptical

Inactive

Posted: 16 years ago

30^th July

Dear Diary,

It was early in the morning and I was asleep. I felt Papa kissing my forehead. He went somewhere very early in the morning. Where did he go? Why did he go?

I was all alone when I woke up. I didn't know how to get to the bathroom. I tried hard to remember the way to it but I couldn't. Oh……. I messed up. I felt so small and embarassed. When Abhi's mum saw me alone in the room, she took me for a clean up and a bath. I felt much better. Abhi came into the room while his mum was dressing me. She asked him to fetch my water bottle. Oh no……… not my water bottle and bag. I don't like anyone touching them. My eyes never left those articles while they were in Abhi's hands. I heaved a sigh of relief when the kind lady strung the bag across my shoulders.

Abhi laughed when he heard I had my usual cornflakes…was he teasing me? But his mother teased him in return that he also loves to eat bhin….bhindi? Whatever is that? Anyway we left for school.

I didn't see Papa the whole day. He was very busy I think. He returned very late in the night. I could hear his voice. He sounded tired.

He stroked my hair and tapped my cheek

And even gave my nose a slight tweak

He looked down at me with so much love

His voice was pure and gentle like the dove

Music flowed softly neither bass neither sharp

Like a choir of angels playing on their harp

Mist swirled round me like the wool of a sheep

Cocooned me completely in a shroud of sleep.

Goodnight Diary, I am sure you're not as lucky as I am to have such a kind Papa !!!

Picture has been supplied to me by Sammy

Edited by skeptical - 16 years ago

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skeptical

@skeptical

Inactive

Posted: 16 years ago

31st July

Dear Diary,

Here I am once again........................... but it's been an uneventful day for me.

Abhi had some very pretty balloons today which his mother ahad brought for him. He was willing to tie them in my room. Oh how sweet!!!!!! I love balloons .......................

Balloons move from left to right

Moving up being so light

I just love to hold this sight

Swaying is our common plight

Abhi is sometimes such a dear

His love comes through very clear

He willingly shared the balloons with me

I am not likely to forget this so easily.

Good - night Diary, its been a long week.

Nothing more for me to speak ...........

Edited by skeptical - 16 years ago

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Ciara

@Cici09

Explorer

Posted: 16 years ago

love it. vvery sorrowful😭

Edited by Cici09 - 16 years ago

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Silvia

@Demilove

Navigator

Posted: 16 years ago

If the show doesn't make us cry Skept you sure do. superb. 😭

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Sadhna

@devdasrule

Inactive

Posted: 16 years ago

Skept...Now I need 2-4 advils....head hurts with this crying...Awesome ep today then your diary...Sweet!!!

Seeing him was seeing heaven, and I burst into tears…………. I felt so much better and, and …..safe. But I wanted to be alone …. with Mamma so I pushed him away and went to the balcony. It's my favourite place….. a place that gives me solace. I stood in the balcony searching for the brightest star in the sky. The palms were swaying and the cool breeze blew gently. It was so kind…..the breeze that is. It was trying to cool my aching weals. It was paining me and burning me.