My first attempt at a Sajan poem..Please read.. =)

CookMySock thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#1
Hi guys. Well as it's the holidays I got very bored so I decided to write a few poems. I'm putting up my final version of my poems up so please read them and tell me if you think they are good.

(Both of these poems are from Gunjan's point of view)

Enigma

When I look into the mirrors of a lost heart
I see nothing but different shades washed by the rain
Autumn leaves appear in front of me
It loses its shape but keeps its texture
I tiptoe to understand its essence
But am diminished by its hostility
And I see my own reflection
As bewildered as I could ever be
By the sight that holds me to this Earth
Water begins to trickle like an endless tunnel of lament words
Leaving a wet trail behind
I take another look,
A puzzled expression breathes into me
It reaches out and shatters the band of glass
I should not have had to guess who he was
Neither my own puzzled expression

Lost

Being afraid is all that I feel
As I watch time flow rapidly beneath my eyes
Seconds, minutes, hours tick along while I watch the red thorn measure the circumference of its elliptical cave,
My skin just burns as the bubbles beneath erupt like the molten rock from a deserted volcano,
Spitting its saliva from a mouth that shows immense distaste,
The pores of my skin cry out warm tears,
As I suck my teeth and swallow what seems like the last drop of my body's water,
'It cannot end this way' is the single fault that I utter beneath a dry, sullen breath that only I am able to hear,
Is this a life far from this inhumane world that only I have had the discrete fortune to live?
Is this a fortune
Or a blatant curse that my eyes have rejected to comprehend?



If you like them please do comment or click the 'like' button😳

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naz17555 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#2
Wow! both are brilliant! esp the second one! very touching!👏
280200 thumbnail
Posted: 16 years ago
#3
reserved
Edited:
OMG!!! ur brilliant!!! both of ur poems are mindblowing, literally dear!!!!! Fabulous Poems!!!! Ur tooo good at this!!! can't wait for ur next poems!!! Luved both of them!!! Great job & keep it up!!!!👏
Luv,
Anu
Edited by kayamath_fan2 - 16 years ago
devilofkindness thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#4
hey itz beautiful plzz pm me if u make more
-Sarzz- thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#5
OMG Vandi!! both ov ur poems are amazing!! Loved em soooo much!!! awesome job !!!😃 *claps*
Edited by sweetsarah13 - 16 years ago
CookMySock thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: naz17555

Wow! both are brilliant! esp the second one! very touching!👏



Awww. Thank you sooo much.😳 I agree, I prefer the second one much more! For ome reason it seems to make much more sense!
CookMySock thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: devilofkindness

hey itz beautiful plzz pm me if u make more





Aww. Thank you. I definetely will but gosh. After not having done English for nearly one month, I really had to use my brain to write something meaningful. I shall attempt to write more and defoo PM you. Thank you for liking it so much😳

CookMySock thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: sweetsarah13

OMG Vandi!! both ov ur poems are amazing!! Loved em soooo much!!! awesome job !!!😃 *claps*




Oh oh oh *blushes then waves*😳 Thank youuu Sarah!!! EEEEEEH! *big fat smile* So glad my buddy loved them. AWWWWWW! =D
CookMySock thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: Anjalika Khanna

well written poems.............



Awww. Thanks for reading and commenting! 😳
Knowalot2 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#10
I know which subject ur getting a rocket-high grade in....😉
Edited by Knowalot2 - 16 years ago

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