Blind
"This shouldn't be that difficult for you Samrat. It's either me or your Chashmish. Why are you in such a dilemma over this? I can understand that you will find shutting her out of your life a bit hard but you will get over it soon. Just please stop making me wait. I can't do it much longer. It hurts."
Her words ring through his head like an alarm clock with a fresh set of batteries. It's one in the morning and sleep is just not a possibility tonight. He kicks off his sheets and heads downstairs to the living room.
"It hurts."
Did she even realize that he was hurting too? Was she always this selfish? How was he suppose to turn his back on one of his best friends?
"I think you should spend more time with Sheena. After all, we will always be friends whether we see each other everyday or less than that. The important thing is that you and Sheena are together."
She had said this after the play. With these words, she went away from him. Just like that, in a moment he lost her. It's hard to believe that it had happened hours ago because his memory of it was so unbelievably vivid. The look on her face - how she had tried to smile through it but he could see the utter sadness at times when her smile grew weak. The sound of her voice. There were small cracks where her throat seemed so dry that no noise came from it but somehow she managed to recover ever so quickly. The steadiness of her eyes. They gazed at him for most of the time but he always saw them veer away whenever the slight appearance of moisture dared to make tears fall down her face. He hadn't even dared to say anything after she said spoken because he was afraid that he would break her. But deep down, he knew that she was already broken. Looking back he realized that he should have said something to her.
"Oh Samrat, I'm so happy. You finally decided to fully commit to me. Now that Gunjan is no longer an issue'"
"She was never an issue Sheena."
"I know that. What I meant was'"
"You are the issue."
"What!"
"Did you think I turned away from Gunjan? No. She did and you know why? Because she thinks it's for the best. She thinks you're the kind of girl I want."
"But I am."
"You were. I thought you were."
"What are you saying?"
"I can't do this Sheena. I won't. You may be happy but I'm not. Not with you. Never with you."
"Than who?! That chashmish!"
"I am the only one who calls her that. You don't even know her."
"Oh I know her."
"She is my best friend."
"You are blind!"
"Whatever. I hope I never have the misfortune of laying eyes on a selfish useless person like you ever again."
He smiles to himself a little recalling the round of applauses his fellow college-mates had given him as he walked away from Sheena. It felt good to finally get rid of the thing that had been creating all his problems. If only right after dumping her, he had gone to see Gunjan but he couldn't find the courage to do so.
"You are blind!"
Despite everything, Sheena was right about this. He is blind. How could he not see the pain Gunjan was in? Why was he always the last to know these things?
He reaches his hand out to her hoping she will grab it. She walks by without stepping an inch in his direction. Sheena appears before him but his gaze remains on her. She continues to walk away with tears in her eyes. In that moment, he knows. He realizes that he may care about her as more than a best friend would. He wants to always be next to her so that she would never cry. He wants to forever make her laugh and smile. As he sees tears well up in her eyes, his heart breaks. The sharp pain he feels is completely foreign to him. No one has ever had this effect on him. No one.
He paces in front of his fire place. Why couldn't he just tell her after the play? Would she not believe him? Of course she wouldn't. He was the Playboy Samrat after all. He has never truly been in love and she knew it. God, had he just used the L word? Yes, yes he had. Yes Samrat, you are falling in love with Chashmish.
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P.S. I may do other oneshots later on but they will always be oneshots. I suck at updating. đ