FF: 9/5 Mohabbat Aap Se... Pt 23, Pg 75

Suhana Ahmed thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#1

hey guys,

i am starting my first ff... i hope u all will like it... i m posting the FIRST LOOK today and will post the charecter sketches only if you guys like it and want me to continue...

MOHABBAT AAP SE...

"First Look"

A girl of 22 years is lying on bed, trying to sleep. A man of about 60 years is sitting beside her and is gently patting on her head, trying to comfort her and put her to sleep. But the girl is unable to sleep. She takes the man's hand in her hand and says:

GIRL: baba mujhe neend nahi aa rahi!!!

MAN: tum koshish karo puttar aa jai gi?

GIRL: baba aap mujhe mera favourite song sunaiye naa phir aye gi neend?

MAN: kitni bari ho gayi hai tu abhi bhi lori(lullaby) sun ke naand aye gi tujhe???

GIRL: mai barui kahan hoi hoon baba mai tou abhi bhi aap ki choti si shehzadi(princess) hoon baba, please sunaiye naa!!!

MAN: acha sonata hoon, tujh se koi jeet sakta hai bhala???

(man starts singing and the girl closes her eyes)

CHANDA KI DOLI MAIN

PARIYON KI JHOLI MAIN

SHEHZADI AYI MERI

HOOOO?

Suddenly the man stops singing and pulls his hand from the girls hold. The girl opens her eyes and gives him a confused look. Before she can say anything the man gets up from the bed and leaves the room. The girl jumps down from the bed and follows him out. She cannot see her father anywhere so she starts calling him.

GIRL: baba baba, kahan hain aap?? Please samne ayen naa, mujhe bohat darr lag raha hai baba aap apni beti ko aise tang mat karein baba.

(suddenly she hears the voice of the man but still cannot see him)

MAN: beti ab tujhe apna khayal khud rakhna hoga, ab mai tere sath nahi rahon ga, mujhe jana hi hoga?

GIRL: baba please mat jaiye mai apko kabhi pareshan naahi karon gi, hamesha apki baat mano gi?

(the girl screams and shouts but there is no answer)

GIRL: baba? baba?

(in the meantime somebody holds the girl from her shoulders and shakes her, trying to bring her back to senses). The girl opens her eyes and says:

GIRL: dekho MAHI di baba kahan ja rahe hain humein chor kar, unhe roko na Mahi di please?



sorry for any mistakes... actually i hate to edit...

that was the First Look guys... i will continue if i get 5-6 replies...

you can also post negative comments... i will not mind!!!

regards,

Suhana😊


INDEX
FIRST LOOK: Pg 1
CHARACTER SKETCHES: Pg 2
PART 1: Pg 3
PART 2: Pg 5
PART 3: Pg 7
PART 4: Pg 10
PART 5: Pg 13
PART 6: Pg 15
PART 7: Pg 17
PART 8: Pg 21
PART 9: Pg 23
PART 10-A: Pg 25
PART 10-B: Pg 27
PART 11: Pg 29
PART 12: Pg 32
PART 13: Pg 35
PART 14: Pg 38
PART 15: Pg 41
PART 16: Pg 44
PART 17: Pg 49
PART 18: Pg 53
PART 19: Pg 57
PART 20: Pg 63
PART 21: Pg 66
PART 22: Pg 70
PART 23: Pg

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Edited by Suhana Ahmed - 15 years ago

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purplestar22 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#2
sounds intresting.. u should continue
brokenheart61 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#3
very intresting
sound different
and not a single mistake do cont
Suhana Ahmed thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#4
18 views but only two replies...
is it that boring???
@ purplestar 22: i will post the charecter sketches tomorrow Inshallah...
@ brokenheart61: thnx for liking n i m gald there are no mistakes...will post the charecter sketches tomorrow!!!
regards,
Suhana.
flowers4u thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#5
sounds interesting u shuld totally continue
munam_13 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#6
intersting start... would love to read the rest...
Innocent02 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#7
waoo......very very very interesting ( as every1 said😃) and a different concept

I loved it and you should continue

wish you all the best for this FF😉

update SOON.....will be waiting

and yes this is the first day so don't worry ahista ahista ais FF k readers berhtay jayain gay (inshAllah)
Edited by Innocent02 - 16 years ago
blackdaughter thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#8
You should continue!!! Seems interesting so far!!!!
Suhana Ahmed thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#9
thanx everybody...
zaibun, munam_13, sweetshab, heeroshni, innocent02, blackdaughter...
i will post the charecter sketches tomorrow inshAllah...
regards,
Suhana.
Suhana Ahmed thumbnail
16th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 16 years ago
#10
hey guys,
here are the charecter sketches... there are a lot of them plz dont get confused. i hope u will like them.
"CHARACTER SKETCHES"

HEER MANN: I am sure she needs no introduction, we all know how she looks and how she behaves. The Heer of my FF is different in some ways from the real Heer as in this FF she is not a typical Indian girl in terms of her dressing style and overall behavior. Her nickname is HONEY. She is a 22 year old, vibrant, bright, out-spoken, bold, confident and cheerful girl. She does whatever she wants but she knows her limits. She is a typical Indian girl in terms of her values. She strongly believes in love and is of the view that God has made a soul mate for everyone in this world. For her love is the only reason to live. She is also very fond of music and dancing. She is expert in playing guitar and piano. She has a very sweet voice.

MAHI MANN/GAREWALL: She is Heer's elder sister and is happily married to her sweetheart Meet Garewall. She is 25. She is a beautiful girl with a bright smile and a sweet tongue. She is very caring and loving person and thinks for everybody except herself. She is very protective over her younger sister. She is an ideal bahu for the Garewall family and perfect wife for Meet.

MEET GAREWALL: He is Mahi's dear husband and Heer's jiju. He is a loving husband and a perfect son for the Garewall family. He cares a lot for his sweet sister in law. He is a tall handsome dude of 26 years and is also a successful businessman.

ASHLESHA GAREWALL: She is the younger sister of Meet and the best friend of Heer. She is also 22. She is lovingly called as ASH. She is a very cheerful and happy-go-lucky sort of person. She is almost like Heer but is different in terms of her perceptions about love. For Ash, love is not the only reason to live.

RAHUL GAREWALL:He is the younger brother of Meet. Rahul is a couple of years older than Ash. He is tall, lean and handsome young man with thousands of girls behind him but he secretly loves his college friend Muskan.

CHETAN AND AMRIT GAREWALL: They are the parents of Meet, Rahul and Ash. Both are very good natured. They treat their children as their friends. Heer's father Balraj Mann(late) was a very good friend of Chetan Garewall. Amrit Garewall treats Heer and Mahi as her own daughters since the death of their mother.

MUSKAN SINHA: She is Heer's and Ash's class fellow and friend. She is a cute and cheerful girl with a weird laughter. She is of same age as Heer and Ash that is 22. she belongd to a middle class family, settled in Punjab. She is in Mumbai for educational purposes and lives in girl's hostel.

YUG SHERGILL: He is a very cute and fun loving guy. He is Rahul's class fellow and his best friend. He is very good looking. He is also 24. he comes from a rch and elite family, his parents live in USA. He lives with his grand father.

(HEER, ASH, RAHUL, MUSKAN & YUG share a very special bonding. They are very close to each other and are always seen together in college, parties, picnics everywhere)

BALWANT AND DALJEET MANN: They are Heer's chacha and chachi. They are the most evil people you can think of. They always eye on Balraj's wealth and property (although Balraj don't have that much wealth as they both think, he just owns some agricultural land).

MANMEET MANN: He is the elder child of Balwant and Daljeet Mann. He takes after his parents and is also greedy for wealth.

VISHAKHA MANN: She is Manmeet's younger sister and is inherited with the Greed for money and evilness from her parents.

PREM JUNEJA: He is young, handsome and dashing person. He is 25 and is considered as the most eligible bachelor of his social circle. Many girls are after him as he has the looks and the money. In my FF Prem is a bad boy, a Casanova. For him love is a useless thing, he simply doesn't believe in love.

LALIT JUNEJA: He is Prem's dad. A typical old man, having a lot of complaints against his children. But dearly loves his grand daughter Pari. He is related to Heer's chachi Daljeet through some distant relationship.

PREET JUNEJA: He is Prem's younger brother. He is a handsome and vibrant young man of 23. He is different from his elder brother in many ways but is very close to him and loves him dearly.

PARI: she is a cute and adorable child of 4 years but her legs are impaired due to polio. She is Prem's elder sister Kulraj's daughter. Her mother died when she was only 2 years old. Her father was alive but nobody know where he is as he ditched his wife just after 6 months of their marriage and ran away with some other woman.

VRINDA MALIK: She is Prem's best friend. A typical Indian girl of 23. She knows Prem since childhood. She always scolds Prem over his bad habits and tries to correct him all the time.

I know there are a lot of characters and you guys might be confused with them but don't worry all these characters will emerge slowly and gradually. I assure all of you there will be no confusion, Inshallah.

thats it...

plz do comment... i will be waiting...

takecare, regards, Suhana.
Edited by Suhana Ahmed - 16 years ago

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