RN-Ranbir Nanda
KN-Kanya Nanda
KN-(looks worried)
scene shifts 2 RN
RN-Picnic wonderful idea Big D ab iss chipkali ke saath aur time barbaad karna hoga. Waise ye chipkali hai kaahan. KANYA KANYA KANYA
RN sees her and
RN-kab se bula ra hoon. Ab behaari bee ho gayi ho
Notices KN is tense
RN-mu lat ka kar kyun kari ho ab kya huwa.
KN-(gettin mad) tumari pyaari reva bhabhi aur woh devika ne abhi abhi keh kar gayi hai ke woh hamari contract marriage ka pol chald sab ke samne khol ne waali hain.
RN-ab yeh ek aur musibaat kahan pas gaya hoon main bagwan
KN-eh helllo ye shaadi ka mind blowing idea tumara ta ab bugto
RN-ye sab tumare us gunde bhai Guru ki waja se huwa ha. Use ja kar apni saari huwee baatein ja kar sunow
KN-Guru ne ye to nahi kaha ke tum mujse shaadi karo, yeh tumaari galti hai. Shaadi kee to choro. Shaadi ke baad kee baat karte hain. Plan to yeh nahin ta ke shaadi ko hum 2 ya 3 din baad torde den ge lekin tumare chote se dimaag se jitne bee idea nikle ek daam gatya aur flop tein. Aur ab ye do churalian huamre baand bachayen gee. Ek dum uloo ho tum.
RN-baat to tumahre teekh hai par unse ab hum kaise chutkara paayein
KN-tum abi kuch bee nahi socho ge. Ab jo kuch karna ya sochna wo me khud karoon gee samje
Both start pacing forwards and backwards
KN-(shouts) Idea........... Na wont work
RN-pata tha chipkali tum kuch nahi soch pao gi. Bloody 2 by 2
KN-are saand tum muje bato ke tumare kitne idea te aur kitne superhit hain.
RN goes red and gets embaresed
KN-ab kyun hogaya moon band. Now just shutup and let me think
yahhan ao maine kuch socha hai (she whispers to him)
RN-No way main ye nahi karoonga. Tum main............Never
KN-eh gaande muje be koi shok nahi par majburi main gaade ko bee baap banana parta hai
RN-tum ne muje gaada kaha
KN-please main tumhe gaada key ke gaade ki insult nahi karna chati. Ab apna moon band rakna warna mein khud mummyji ko sab kuch baatoingi. Massage palour waali baat par ek tappar (ranbir grabs his cheek) para ta is baar daande pareinge aur woh ek bee nahin par dus sabse samje.
RN stands finger on mouth
KN-ab plan shuru kaarein
RN raises hand like a school kid.
KN-bako
RN-shuru to kaarein ge par..........
KN-daande nahin kaane to chalo
They walk 2 the lawn where every1 is doin theire own thing and
KN(whisper)-ab is saand ko mai maaza jaakati hoon
Ranbir notices Kanya with the hose and shouts
RN-dont u dare kanya
On his shout all the family turn around to see kanya wetting ranbir and burst out laughing and Eva and Slok film them
Kanya chases ranbir suddeenly the water stops and
RN-ab main nahin tumhe chodoonga
Kanya screams and runs as fast as she can ranbir chases they get to a distance where the family cant hear them or see them
They high five each other
KN-phase one successful
RN-phase one to succesful hogaya par muje itna beegone ki kya zaroorat te tumhe agar muje pnemonia huwa to
KN-tum mar jao ge aur is darti se ek bodge ut jaye ga
ab apna mu band karo ar phase 2 shru karte hain, apne shirt ke do button kholo aur wahan jake kya kehna hai pata to hai na tumhe
RN-pata hai
They walk to the house when malika(mk) calls them
MK- Ranbir bata tum dono kahaan ja re ho yaan ao hum ek game khel ne wale hain
RN-woh mom baad mein kanya ko kapre change karne hai aur slok ne kaha hai ke mera ek phone hai
MK-acha jao
Slok-daadi phone lines dead hain aur mobile network be kaam nahi karta to phone kahaan se ayga
Eva- aur kanya ke to bilkul teek hain par chachu shirt ke button khule te kahain woh romance karne to nahin jare chalo slok ja ke film karte hain
Big D- hain chalo muje mere party ke film pe yeh chaiye kya kehta hai ranbir hain Big d ap muje kabi kisi ladki saath karte nahin dekhen gi aur agar deke to 2 dinon ka kahan main khud banownga
Malika, slok, eva, reva, big d, shanaya,ayan and devika all walk toward Ranbirs room window and stand outside
When.......
Kanya looks to see if ranbirs family are there on seeing them she turns to ranbir
KN-(whisper)woh log bahaar karein hai naatak shuru karo
Kanya walks towards the cupboard closest to the window when Ranbir grabs her and pulls her towards hom
Outside Slok-u r getting this arent u eve
Eva-haan baba
Back in the room Ranbir is walking Kanya to the wall when
KN-Ranbir choro muje darwaza khula hai agar kisine dekh liya to
RN-kaun dekhe ga sab barlawn pe hain
KN-chodona
RN-kyun lawn pe tumne jabe muj pe paani pehnka ta tab meri suni tee. Nahi na. To ab mein be apni marzi karoonga
Pushes her against the wall Kanya hugs him and
KN-(whispers) Itne kareeb ane ki koi zaroorat nahin hai
RN-(whispers) Muje koi shok nahin hai tume haat lagane ka agar plan mein na hota to main tum jaisee chipkali ko galti se be nahin haath lagata. BTW tumne is he liye to plan nai banay ke mein tumare itne kareeb awun
KN(whispers) ekbar plan khatam ho jaye to main tumhe dekhti hoon saare jahaan ke saand aur gaande mare hon ge tume banane ne ke liye
The get closer and look as if they will kiss when Kanya pretends to see his family outside
KN- Ranbir chodo window ke bahaar sab kare ho kar hume dekh rahen hai
Ranbir turns to see his family running in ifferent directions
Ranbir and Kanya burst out laughing
RN-Ab reva bhabi se aur us devika se peecha jute ga, woh ye saab dekh kar soch rahein hongi ke humari saach much ki shaadi huwi hai
Kanya doesnt notice the floor is wet from the water from ranbirs body and starts to walk away when she slips
Ranbir catches her and they have a eyelock They are so lost in eah other that they dont notice slok has com back and started filming them
They start to get closer and closer when their lips meet. Kanya feels a dizzying attack on her senses and was moaning as ranbir was kissing her harder and harder while their tongues battled for possession of each others mouths. All of a sudden slok shouts
Slok-Eva come fast yaar chachu chachi ko kiss kar rahen hai
They break apart and Ranbir drops kanya
RN-Slok ke baache main tuje nahin chodunga
Slok runs and Ranbir chases
Kanya comes out of the spell and looks fit to kill
KN- ye sand khud ko kya samajta hai pehle zabardasti kiss karta hai aur phir zor se gira dehta hai. Pooja di teek hi kehti han laadkon ko hat tamow to who gale par jaatein hai. Ab is gaande ko main teek kartee hoon who us se karowngee jise use nafrt hai.
Walks out into the lawn and listens to Big D and Malika talking.
Big D-Maalika Ranbir kitna baadal gaya hai? Pehle kaita taa ke pyaar is dunya ki sab se baadi bimari hai aj khud apne parivar se jhoot bol kar romance kar raha ta. Yaad hai tume Ranbir ne mujse meri pichli birthday pe kaha ta ke agar who kisi laadki ke kareeb gaya to do din ka khana wo khud banaye ga. Ab main use khana banwaon gi.
Malika-Rehne digye mom Kanya Ranbir ki biwi hai to yeh sab use jaiz hai aur doosre baat to yeh hai ke Ranbir ko is tara se kaam se sakht nafrat hai, muje to yeh shaak hai ke Ranbir ko to paata bi nahin kitchen kahaan hai.
Kanya-(thinking) Ranbir tume to mein kitchen mein pocha ke rahoonge ab dekna main kya karti hoo.
Kanya walks towards Malika and Big D.
Malika- ao humare paas beto beta
On seeing her upset
Malika- kya hua kisi ne kuch kaha tume beta
KN- Woh ranbir ne
Malika gets angry
Malika- Kya keha rehin tee ap mom ke Ranbir badal gaye hai kya khaak badla hai. Kya kaha usne tume
KN-(thinks) ab ayga maaza (outloud)Mom usne kaha ke muje khaana bana ana nahin ata aur (starts fake crying) agaar kisi khute ko mere haat ka bana khaan mile to wo be moon mor kar rejecxt kar dega.
Malika-Kya usne ye sab kaha
KN-(full on fake crying) haan aur kaha ke ab use office m'en 24/7 kaam parna barega kyunki hotel se roz khaan mangane ke bill bohot zyaad hoga
Big D-Us kote ko m'en seeda karti hoon khud khabi kitchen men per nahi raka aur tume baatein suna vaha hai Ranbir ko abhi bulaw Malika
Malika- RANBIR ABHI YAHAN AO
The whole family comes running followed by Ranbir who looks at Kanyas face and
RN- Kya huwa kanya ro kyun rahi ho
Big D-wa khud use rulaya aur pooch rahe ho ke woh ro kyun rahi hai sharam nahi aati
RN-(confused) maine? maine kya kiya?
Malika-Oh just shut up Ranbir aur naatak karna baand karo. Tumne meri bahun ko kaha ke use khaan banana nahin aata aur uski bezaati be ki. Kuch kehne se pehle soch liya karo tumari biwi ha woh
Big D- Tu itna Kanna banane ka expert ha na to do din ka khana tu hi ban aye ga aur agaar nahi banaya to ek hafte ke liye na kuch kahne ke liye milega aur nahi tum office ja sakoge SAMJE.
KN-(thinks) ab is Ranbir Nanda ki haalat iek saand se bi battar hogi. Jalo age dekhtein hai tamasha.
RN-Main aur kaana (starts laughing) app mazaak kar rahi hain na. Lekhin todi chaldi hogaya April fools aj nahin do haafton ke baad hain. App ko tab ye karne chaiye ta ab April fools ke liye app ke paas kuch be nahi
Big D- (lovingly)Bete main mazaak nahin kar rahi. Aj raat ke kane mein daal, chawal, ek sabzee ki dish, ek meat dish aur meete meingajar ka halwa hona chaye. Aur haan kana 8 baje table pe hona chaye, agar nahin huwa toh mein aur malikaa tume bohot saare tappar kil ayeenge
RN-Par Big D main.......
Big D- Mun band kar, Kanya is kade ko kitchen kahaan hai ja kar dikhao aur ek baar phir bata dena kaane mein kya hona chaiye.
KN-Ji Big D
Kanya and Ranbir walk towards the kitchen when all of a sudden Kanya starts laughing
RN-haas kyun rahi ho yan meri jaan pe ban ayi hai aur tume maazak suj raha hai
KN-haas is liye rahi hoon kyun ke aaj mere do plan te aur dono hit rahe aur tumare jitne be plan ya idea te woh tumari bhai ki filmon ki tara super flop rahein
RN-Eh just shut up waise tumare doosra idea kya ta pehla to Reva bhabi aur Devika ko yeh dikhlana ta ke hum tum pyaar kartein hain. Doosra kya ta?
KN-Doosra ide ta Ranbir Nanda se baadla
RN-Ranbir Nan.. woh to mein hoon mujse baadla kyun wait a minute iska maatlab yeh sab tumne kiya
They are now inside the kitchen
KN-haan ye sab maine kiya aur ye sab is liye kiya kyun ke pele tumne muje zabardasti kiss kiya aur uske baad jaan buch kar zor se zameen pe gira diya
RN-Maine tume kiss kiya yaan tumne muje kiss kiya. Bagwwan ka shukar hai ke us waqt Slok agaya warna main kissi ko mun dikhane ke kabil nahin rehta. Meri izzat lut leti tum, agar ye hojata to main mom ko kya kehta
KN-Izzat tumari tab luti jab tumare paas izzat hoti
RN-Hai Kanya Gobergole dekle loon ga tume akir aukaad hi kya hai tumari
KN-Mera naam Kanya Nanda hai aur meri aukaad Nanda parivaar ki bahu ki hai. Aur haan mein woh Kanya Nanda hoon jo Ranbir Nanda se Kaana banwarahi hai. Kaane se yaad aya Big D ne kaha ta ke kaane mein dal,chawal, ek sabzi ki dish aur ek meat ki dish aur haan gajar ka halwa 8 baje bana kar table pe rakh dena
Kanya walks off behind her Ranbir grabs a kadu to throw at her which rebounds on a wall and hits him on the head Kanya turns around and starts laughing
KN-tut tut marne jare te muje aur lag gayi tume ya to khud ke per par khulati marne ki baat hogayi. Chalo cooking shuru karo tumare pass sirf 7 gante hain
Kanya walks away leaving a furious Ranbir behind her
RN-dekh loonga us chipkali ko mujse kanna ban wa rahi ha maar daloonga. I hate you bloody 2 by 2.
Kanya walks into Big Ds room where she sees Slok showing everyone the video of her and Ranbir kissing and starts getting a weird feeling and is just about to say something when there is a scream everyone rushes to the kitchen to see
OMG ye cockroach to maine shanaya ke liye raki ti ise kaise mil gayi. BTW ye saand to hamesha ket ta ise kisi cheez se dar nahi to ab ek fake cockroach dekha aur table ke upar char ke ladkion ki taara chik raha hai. Aur ya to pura parivaar jama hogaya hai. Kuch kar Kanya warna jo jhoote Ranbir ko paarne wale te tume parenge.
Everyone has followed KAnya to the kitchen
Everyone- Kya hua Kanya ye chink kaise
KN-(thinking) ab is saand ko bachana parega warna woh muje mar dalega (outloud) woh actually mummyji muje cockroach se bohot daar lagta hai ye upar se giri aur Ranbir dekh raha hai ke koi aur ro nahi hai upar
Malika-okay ab sab chalo yahaan se
They all leave only Kanya and Ranbir are in the kitchen
RN-tumne jhoot kyun bola? ye kyun kaha ta ke tum cheekein
KN- woh main ye sab nahin karti to ye jo tumare I am Ranbir Nanda the Brave an Great ka persona would have come crashing down and u would have lost all self respect
RN-(stumbling on the word) tha tha thanks
KN-ure welcome (is about to leave when she sees his hand is bleeding and runs to him and grabs his hand) ye kya kiya tumne
RN-(shocked to see her so concerned but enjoying it) it nothing baba
KN-kya matlaab it nothing itna khoon beraha ha. Chalo yahaan ao main mein saaf karke paati band deti hoon
RN-(loving her touch)Kanya main khud kar loonga
KN-(feeling guilty because it was her fault he got injured) Ranbir maine kaha na yahaan ao main kardoongee
She washes his hand and puts that antiseptic on which really stinks which hurts Ranbir. On his sound of pain Kanya blows on his hand
KN-ab teek hai
RN-nahin ek baar phir(thinking)ye muje kya ho raha hai main Ranbir Nanda jo ladkiyon se door bakta ta aj ek laadki ke itne kareeb. Ranbir snap out of this. Aur ye toh wahi chipkali hai jis ki wajse ye sab huwa hai
Kanya finishes bandaging his hand and leaves on her way out she sees Sloks camera and takes the tape out and gos to Ranbirs room and watches it
After watching it Kanya starts to think
KN-(thinking) ye maine kya kiya. Ranbir ko main be kiss kar rahi ti phir kyun maine uske saat ye sab kiya. Muje to gusa isliya ayaa ta kyun ke usne muje kiss karfna chor diya aur maine use ye ke diya ke ye sab usne kiya. Muje Ranbir ke madat karne chaiye.
She goes to the kitchen and sees ranbir beating whole eggs including the shells, also him and the entire kitchen are coated in flour and says
KN-need any help
RN-oh tum. Haan please help karo muje nahin pata ye sab kaise karte hain. Main mante hoon ke galti saari mere te ab help karo na yaar
KN-Ok baba tum gajar ka halwa bano mein waki sab jisen banati hoon
Ranbir is impressed on how she tidies the kitchen up with ease and still manages to look hot and is staring at her
KN-(catching him staring at her) tume gajar ka halwwa banana to aata hai na
RN-(blushing at being caught staring at her) umm no
She tells him what to do and starts cookin herself she tells ranbir to add the sugar but he picks up the salt instead and adds it. Thay have finished when they hear Maalika coming and Kanya says
KN-Ranbir sab tayaar to hain na oh mummyji ap
Malika -Kanya tum yahaan Ranbir ki help to nahin kar rahi ti na
KN-main iski help mummyji main to Ranbir ko yeh kene ke liye aytee ke 8 baj chuke hai aur kahna table pe lay
Malika- acha ab ye sab table pe lejao
They take all the food to the table where Big D says
Big D-sabse pehle muje gaajar ka halwa do (this is the gajaar ka halwa full of salt)
Big D is about to eat it
Malika: Ye halwa Ranbir ka fave hai aur aaj is ne khud banaya hai to sab halwa ye khud hi kaye ga. Ap sab log waki sab kana kain. Kanya apne haaton se apne pati ko kana kilao
KN:(thinking)God kis pagal khane me pass gayi hoon. Jab be dekho muje is cartoon ke paas bechte rahtein hai. (outloud) Ji mom
Everyone is eating the food and complimenting Ranbir on his cooking. Ranbir is feeling pretty good about himself and is thinking
RN:(thinking) Pehli baar aaj maine mom ki baat nahin maani aur itni tariff ho rahi hai. Halwa to maine khud banaya hai bohot hi acha bana hoga.
Kanya feeds him 2 spoons. Ranbir starts to chew the halwa and is about to spit it out cos it tastes disgusting. He thinks
RN:(thinking) Agar sab ke samne ye maine spit kardiya to mom ko pata chal jayga ke ye kahana maine nahin banaya sirf halwa banaya. Us ke baad woh sab ke saat mil kar band bajain gee. Kahana parega
He sits there eating after about 8 spoons hes had enough and starts to signal to kanya to come to the kitchen.
KN:(thinking)Kuch to garbar hai ab yahaan se kaise nikhlen. Idea (outloud) Ranbir woh apne kitchen mein chai rakhe ti stove par woh band to ki ti apne.
Ranbir gives her a WTF u on about look when kanya winks at him and he understands.
RN: oh crap woh to on hai
Both of them rush to the kitchen
RN: Thank you thank you (kisses her on both cheeks) bachalya tumne
KN:(shocked that he kissed her) par hua kya
RN: Dekho marna mat. Maine galti se halwe mein chini ki chaga namak use kiya
KN: Ranbir tum bi na ek halwa hi to banana ta tume woh bi nahin huwa. God ab woh sara halwa pehnk na warna mom ko pata chal jayga ke main ne tumari help ki aur tumare sath sath muje bi jhoote pareinge.
RN: Chill out baba hojayga. Just relax
KN: Yehi problem hai tumari tum kabhi koi baat seriously nahin lete. Upar se ab muje chai bi bananeen pare gi.
RN: tum halwa pehnko chai main bana loonga
KN: Nahin kya pata us mein bi tum namak dhal do
RN: Ghalti hogayee, kya tumne kabhi koi galti nahin ki. Aur upar se sorry kaha na maine aur chaiye kya tume.
KN: apne sorry apne paas rako aur ye lo halwa tum khud pehnko ayr chai bi khud banao. Mein chali kahna kane muje to bohot book lagi hai. Bye (she walks off)
RN: Samajti kya hai khud ko bloody chipkali. Koi zaroorat nahin hai muje tumari ye saab main khud kar sakht hoon. Just get lost
10 minutes later we see Ranbir covered in sugar and halwa when Malika comes in
Malika:(laughing) Ranbir ye tumne kya kiya
RN:Mom aap has rahin. Jaaye Kanya ko bulain Plzzzz
Kanya comes and starts laughing uncontrollably. Ranbir sees her and is shocked
RN:(thinking) WOW kitni khoobsoorat lag rahi hai aur kitni pyaari haasi hai. Dil chahta waqt tam jaye aur main yahaan bet ka rise dektaha rahoon. God shes
gorgeous
Kanya in between laughs asks
KN: Ye sab tumne 10 minute mein kar liya? Khud ko decka hai sheeshe(mirror) main. Ao main tumara chera saaf kharti hoon.
She goes towards him laughing and slips on he halwa on the floor. Too save her RAnbir grabs her waist and she grabs Ranbirs shoulders. They stare at each other and start to get closer and closer when their lips meet.
Kanya feels at war with her brain and heart. Her heart is telling her to go with the flow whereas her brain is telling her to leave him. She tells her brain to shutup and carries on with her makeout session. Ranbir moves forward.............
Still making out
RN:(thinking) Ye kya ho raha hai muje. Kyun jab ye mere paas hoti hai sab kuch perfect lagta hai aur ye jab door jati hai to kyun mein khud ko adoora mehsoos karta hoon. Do i love her? Is this love? It has to be otherwise why would i feel so restless, why do i always want her with me, why do i feel complete when she is in my arms. God I LOVE HER.
While Ranbir is thinking all this Kany is just going with the flow and wants him desperatly (who would'nt)
RN:(thinking) I have to tello her i love her before we make love. She may regret it later if we make love and I dont tell her what my real feelings are
He slowly breaks the kiss. Still hoding her in his arms and stroking her hair gently
RN: Tum to meri shakal saaf karni ayi thi par ab khud ko be halwa lagaliya hai.
Kanya still blushing after their makeout session:(whispers) to tum saaf kar do na
RN: wo to kardoon ga par baad mein pehle mein tumse kuch kehna chata hoon
KN: to kaho na
RN:Kanya I... mein tums....I
All of a sudden Eva and Ira rush in
EandI: Chachu u wont believe what shana....
Seeing them jump apart from each other they realise they interupted something pretty importtant
Eva: we r sorry
They rush out
Ira: OH CRAP. We just interupted chachus romance, hell kill us
Eva: No he wont not after our suprise
Ira: suprise what suprise. ye kya bak rahi ho tum
Eva: yahaan ao idiot
Eva whispers something to Ira ehich causes ira to break out into a huge smile like this 😃
Ira: chachus soooooooooo gonna love us now. Ye tumare dimaak mein ye ideas kaise ate hain
Eva: honey its just natural
Back in the kitchen Kanya says
KN: Ranbir u go get cleaned up I'll tidy up in here.
RN: U sure
KN: haan baba tum jao
And pushes him out of the kitchen
Ranbir goes towards his room when Eva jumps at him
Ranbir still mad at her about before: ab kya hai
Eva: Chachu aap bohot gussa hain na. Im sorry. Mein to ap ko ye envelope dene ay ti. Ye lijeye
Gives him the envelope and Ranbir opens it too seeeeee....
Chachu hume pata hai ke aap hum dono par bohot gussa hain. Is liye as a way of an apology hum dono ne farmhouse ke peeche jo outhouse hai wahan aap ke liye aur kanya chachi ke liye ek suprise chora hai. Yeh outhouse ki keys hain. Aap dono wahan ja kar romance yan kuch aur kar lein, hum log yahaan pe sab kuch sambaal leingein. Aur haan agar suprise pasand aaya to ap ko humare liye kuch karne parega. EVA&IRA
Ranbir walks to the outhouse to see what disaster is waiting for him there
RN: Ab yaahan pe kon si musibat in logon ne kari kad di hai. Whatever these girls touch turns to dust
He opens the door (BTW its evening now) and is shocked at what he sees
The entire floor is covered in pink, yellow and white rose petals. The walls are covered in fairy lights, in the background low soft music was playing. In the centre of the room is a candle lit table with a tablecloth covered in red rose petals and a note
He picks up the note amused
So chachu pasand aaya humara suprise? Well obviously pasand to aaya hai. Kitchen mein chachi ka favourite khana hum logon ne order kar ke rak diya hai. Ab to aap ko humare kam karna padega aur wo bi kal.......... hmmmm ok chalo the day after tomorrow ure probably gonna be a liitle busy with chachi EVA&IRA
RN:Wah kya dimaag paya hai ino ne. Well after all meri hi batichiyaan hai. Kanya ko mein yahaan la kar hi propose karronga. Aj use mein apni dil ki baat ke kar hi raoonga
He runs back to the house and sees Kanya walking out of the shower wearing only a towel to her kneees.
RN: WHOA main to gaya
KN:(blushing)Ranbir tum yahaan kya kar rahe ho
Ranbir still in his own little disneyworld
RN:Tume dekh raha hoon. Jaan bohot sexy lag rahi ho. Har waqt towel pehna karo plzzzzzzzzzzz mere liye
KN:(Reallly really red now) RANBIR sharm karo
On hearing her yell his name he comes out of his daze and reallises what he came here to do and goes to the wardrobe
RN: Sharam waram baad mein karoonga pehle (takes out a red sari) ye pehno aur chalo mere saath
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