Chapter Twenty-Four: Two A.M. (Continued)
It turned out to be the second time. Daadi had woken earlier with her breathing wrong, quietly enough that only the nurse had been called. Just before five it happened again. Worse - bad enough that Rajendra placed the call to Doctor Khanna himself rather than waiting for anyone else to decide the situation justified it.
For one hour, perhaps less, the house became frighteningly efficient. Doors opened. Lights came on. Someone found the emergency medication. Viren appeared already on the phone. Anjali moved people without seeming to issue instructions. Maan stood where he was useful and did whatever came next.
Daadi had given them a fright rather than a catastrophe, and by mid-morning the house had begun, cautiously, to believe it. Her breathing settled. The numbers improved. Doctor Khanna arrived, examined her, listened longer than anybody liked, and then began using words like stable and manageable. Eventually, after Daadi complained about the breakfast someone proposed for her, he said, "Good. If you're arguing with me about salt, I'm less worried."
"I am not arguing," Daadi informed him. "You are wrong."
That was apparently the closest medicine came to an all-clear in this family.
By nine, the fear had started softening into something the house knew how to hold: relief, fatigue, the peculiar, slightly sheepish energy of people who had privately rehearsed a grief they were now permitted to set back down. Anjali's tea circulated for reasons that had stopped being medical and become habitual. Kavita moved from demanding to know whether anybody had been taking Daadi's symptoms seriously enough to a lighter, more sustainable complaint about the traffic on the way over. A visiting aunt who had arrived before seven announced that she had known all along Daadi would be fine; nobody reminded her that she had spent the previous hour whispering prayers into both hands. Rajendra sat beside his mother for twenty minutes after the doctor left and came out looking ten years younger than he had at six.
Maan felt the relief too. Distantly at first, the way a held breath leaves the body before the mind remembers why it was ever held. And once the emergency stopped organizing everyone around a single fact, the house resumed being itself. That was when Maan began noticing everything else.
By ten, Khurana House had filled with the human debris of a family scare. Relatives. Family friends. Children brought because childcare arrangements had been abandoned at dawn. Two enormous fruit baskets. Flowers Daadi would later complain had been murdered unnecessarily. Three boxes of sweets despite the fact that the woman everyone had gathered around had just been given dietary instructions. A teenage cousin Maan last remembered preparing for board exams now had a beard.
A little boy ran past him, stopped, and came backward.
"Maan uncle?"
Maan looked down. "That's disturbingly uncertain."
The child considered him. "You live in Dubai."
"Correct."
"Papa says you have a company."
"Your father shares confidential information."
The boy grinned. "Do you have a Lamborghini?"
"No."
His disappointment was immediate. "Why?"
"Because I don't want one."
"But you're rich."
Several people laughed. Maan looked across the room toward a man near the dining table. "Who is raising him?"
The man lifted one hand. "Capitalism."
"Poorly."
Somebody behind Maan laughed. His attention moved before he could prevent it. Not Geet. That annoyed him.
His mother intercepted him. "Have you eaten?"
"No."
"Obviously."
"Good morning."
"It's almost ten."
"A greeting is not legally time-bound."
"Maan."
A plate appeared in front of him within thirty seconds. He never discovered who had assembled it. That had not changed - affection in this family still frequently arrived without attribution.
Nobody excluded him. That mattered. Rajendra wanted his opinion on one portion of Daadi's report. Viren asked whether the specialist Maan knew through Dubai might review the scans if needed. Anjali told him he looked exhausted. An elderly family friend he had not seen in years held both his hands and accused him of forgetting India. Samar took one look at him and said, "You look terrible."
"Thank you. It's good to be home."
"Did you sleep?"
Maan looked at him. Samar drank coffee with suspicious innocence.
"Some."
"Hm."
Maan waited. Nothing. No question about the library. No mention of Geet. Five years ago Samar would have had him cornered before breakfast. Either age had improved him spectacularly or the family had learned there were subjects they were no longer entitled to pry open. Maan suspected the second.
He still belonged. There was no question of that. His father still handed him papers without explanation. His mother still monitored his meals. His room upstairs remained his. His relatives still insulted him with the confidence of people who expected him to return. But belonging, Maan discovered, was not the same thing as remaining current. There were histories everywhere - children whose personalities had formed while he was away, cousins who had changed careers, a young woman he remembered with braces who was apparently getting engaged, an aunt refusing to speak to another aunt except when asking whether she wanted chutney, some family joke involving a pressure cooker that everybody understood except him. He had come back roughly once a year. Apparently that was enough to remain loved and nowhere near enough to remain up to date.
Then he heard Geet laugh.
His attention found her immediately. His body was apparently committed to making this difficult. She sat in the family room near the windows, one foot tucked beneath her, talking to a teenage girl Maan vaguely recognized as one of the younger cousins.
Daylight did what the library had not. It gave Geet context. At two in the morning there had been only her - her face, her body, his memory, the almost violent fact of five years. Now there was everyone else.
Her hair had been clipped loosely behind her head, though the shorter layers had escaped around her face. She wore dark trousers and a pale blue shirt with the sleeves pushed above her elbows.
A girl held a phone toward her. "No."
"You didn't watch it."
"I watched enough."
"Three seconds."
"In three seconds he climbed onto an office chair with wheels."
"He lands."
"He absolutely does not."
A boy across the room looked up. "That video is old."
Geet turned toward him. "So your survival has already been confirmed?"
"Yes."
"Then you've ruined the suspense."
The girl played it anyway. A crash came from the phone. Geet laughed.
"You laughed!"
"I laughed because he's alive."
"That's not nicer."
"I never said it was."
An older aunt sitting nearby shook her head. "You are exactly like this on video."
Geet looked at her. "That sounds like criticism."
"It is."
"Good."
The aunt smiled. Another relative called from the dining room. "Geet, did you send me that university link?"
"Yesterday."
"WhatsApp?"
"Email."
"I don't check email."
"You told me not to send it on WhatsApp because you lose links."
The man frowned. "That sounds like me."
"It was definitely you."
A younger boy appeared, carrying a tablet. "Geet didi."
She looked at him. "I don't like that tone."
"You promised."
"I make many irresponsible promises. Be specific."
"Biology."
"Oh." He climbed onto the sofa beside her. Geet took the tablet. "Why is it blue?"
"So you can distinguish the structures."
"So it's not actually blue?"
"Not like that."
"That's cheating."
"Scientific visualization isn't cheating."
"It looks like cheating."
"That philosophy is why your teacher keeps emailing your mother."
The boy stared. "How do you know about that?"
Geet's expression became innocent. "I have sources."
Three adults denied responsibility at once. The boy accused all of them.
Maan watched. Some of these children had barely known Geet before she left India. Some had probably been too young to remember her at all. To them she was not primarily the girl Maan had unexpectedly married, not the young woman who had once arrived at Khurana House uncertain where she stood. She was simply Geet didi - a face that appeared on screens, someone who remembered birthdays, someone cousins sent complaints to, someone who apparently knew about disciplinary emails and terrible professors and failed driving tests.
The family had not spent five years waiting for her physical return in order to continue knowing her. They had simply continued. Calls. Messages. Video screens. Photographs. Arguments. Children growing. Illnesses. Ordinary things. Geet had not been in this house physically for five years, and still she had roots here. Not into the floorboards. Into people. That was different. And much harder to dismiss.
Devika passed through the room. "Tea?"
Geet looked up. "Please."
"Same?"
"Yes."
Maan's fingers paused around his coffee. Same. One word. Five years inside it. His mother knew how Geet currently drank her tea. Maan knew how she had taken it at twenty-one. He had no idea whether those were still the same thing. A ridiculous thing to care about. He cared anyway.
Rhea appeared a little later and handed Geet a phone halfway through speaking to whoever was on it. "Tell her what you told me."
Geet took the phone without asking who it was. "Hello? - Oh. Hi, Chachi." She already knew. A cousin complained about a professor; Geet answered with the professor's name. An aunt asked whether Mehek still hated New York winters. Someone else asked whether the heating problem in Geet's building had ever been fixed. Another relative wanted to know how an experiment had gone and mangled the scientific terminology so thoroughly that Geet covered her face. Nobody explained the backstories. Maan did not know most of them. That was the point.
Geet looked across the room. Saw him watching. For a beat neither moved. No ladder. No amber library light. No private silence large enough to hide inside. Just morning.
"Morning."
"Morning."
Someone reached across Maan for pickle. The moment vanished. He found himself absurdly grateful.
The house kept going. That, more than anything, changed the shape of the reunion. Nobody cleared space around them. Nobody behaved as if the two most narratively significant people in the room had finally acknowledged one another. A child complained about homework. Kavita wanted more tea. Rajendra took a call. Viren objected to something in the newspaper. Geet turned back toward the girl beside her. Maan ate.
Over the next hour he saw her in fragments. With Daadi, arguing because Daadi wanted to sit downstairs longer than everyone had agreed. With a younger cousin discussing graduate-school applications. With an elderly aunt, listening more than speaking. With Devika, whose question about New York picked up midway through some conversation Maan had never heard. With a child who knew her well enough to lean against her shoulder while showing her photographs.
None of the individual moments was extraordinary. Their accumulation was.
Maan stood in his own family's house and felt, briefly, visitor-like. Not because Geet belonged more. Not because anyone had replaced him. Nobody had. His father still expected him to understand a report without explanation. His mother still knew what he would refuse to eat and put it on his plate anyway. Samar still insulted him as naturally as breathing. Maan belonged. Geet belonged too. Neither belonging required the other anymore.
He was still turning that over when Neil arrived.
There was no entrance. The side door opened sometime close to eleven and somebody called his name. Neil came in carrying a pharmacy packet and his laptop bag.
A child immediately asked, "What did you bring?"
"Disappointment."
"That's not food."
"Exactly."
Anjali looked over. "Did they have everything?"
"Everything except the one thing apparently manufactured only during eclipses. They're delivering it."
Viren called from across the room, "At what time?"
"They said one."
"Meaning?"
"Delhi one or actual one?" Neil considered. "An excellent question."
He bent and kissed Daadi's head. She swatted him. "Everyone has become dramatic."
"You frightened everyone."
"I slept."
"You fainted," Geet said from the sofa.
Daadi looked offended. "I sat down unexpectedly."
Neil glanced toward her. "That's the version she's using?"
"Since breakfast."
"It needs work."
"Don't encourage her."
"I wasn't planning to."
Daadi pointed at both of them. "Disrespectful." Neither appeared particularly chastened.
Maan watched. Not because anything had happened. Because nothing had - no adjustment, no awkwardness, no rediscovery. Neil and Geet simply entered the same conversational current and moved with it.
Neil saw Maan a little later. "Maan."
"Neil."
"When did you get in?"
"Late."
"How's Dubai?"
"Still there."
Neil nodded. "Useful." Then Viren called him over and the exchange ended. No tension. No assessment. Maan had no appetite for becoming ridiculous before lunch.
Neil disappeared into family activity, and for twenty minutes Maan barely noticed him. Then Geet said, from near the dining table, "No, I changed it after Boston."
Maan looked over. Neil stood opposite her with Geet's phone angled between them. A couple of cousins were nearby; one of the younger girls sat at the table sorting photographs.
"The normalization?" Neil asked.
"The whole third pass."
"That's why Chen objected."
"Chen objects when sunlight arrives without peer review," Geet said, and something in her voice made Neil laugh, once, briefly.
"You liked him in April."
"In April I was trying to impress him. Now I have data."
Neil handed the phone back without pressing further. "Very scientific."
"I've become ruthless."
"Good for the paper." He said it plainly, no escalation in it, and asked - mildly, the way a person asks something they've been meaning to ask for a while - "How's reviewer two?"
Geet's face changed. "Reviewer two wants an entirely new dataset."
"Didn't reviewer one want new figures last month?"
"Reviewer one got figures. Reviewer two can want things." She said it flatly enough that Neil huffed something close to a laugh and let the subject go, already reaching for a cousin's phone to settle some unrelated argument.
The exchange had barely lasted a minute. It didn't need longer.
Boston. Chen. April. Reviewer two. None of it meant anything to Maan. That was the wound. Not Neil standing beside her. Not a touch. Not some intimate look he could resent. Knowledge. Neil knew who Chen was. Maan did not.
Maan had known Geet in concentration. Neil had known her in accumulation. That was the difference. Maan had learned the shape of her handwriting, how she slept, the exact look that meant she was preparing to argue, because for a short, greedy period he had paid attention to her with the intensity of a man falling in love too quickly to understand it. He had met her. Wanted her. Married her. Loved her. Then wrecked the marriage before time could do what time ordinarily did - give people seasons, repetition, context. Reviewer two.
Neil had years in which Geet's current life had surfaced in pieces. Not every day - Maan knew enough to know their friendship wasn't some uninterrupted intimacy, that there had been long gaps, family calls, messages, conversations months apart. But years still accumulated references. Neil remembered April. That was what time did.
Maan didn't know whether the ease between them was friendship. It could be - nothing he had seen suggested otherwise. It could also be something that had shifted at some point he had no knowledge of. He had too little information to distinguish one from the other. That was the real discomfort. Not jealousy. Not yet, anyway. Uncertainty. And he had no legitimate way to eliminate it without asking questions he had not earned the right to ask.
So he didn't.
Lunch stretched across rooms because there were too many people for the table. At some point an uncle brought up Khurana Group. Maan listened with half his attention. One of his cousins had apparently been given control of a major new portfolio. Five years ago that sentence would have landed like a challenge - who, why him, what scale, what had Rajendra promised, what was Viren backing, which chair at which table had moved half an inch farther away from Maan. Instead he took another bite of food.
The uncle waited. "You heard?"
"No."
"Big responsibility."
Maan nodded. "Good for him."
A pause. That was apparently not the expected response. "You're not tempted?"
"By his job?"
"By coming back. The family business."
Maan smiled slightly. "I have a business."
"You know what I mean."
"I do." Nothing more followed. Across the table, Samar glanced at him. Maan ignored the look.
Another relative asked how Dubai was going. "Fine."
"Fine? Your father says you're expanding."
"We are."
"How much?"
"Enough to keep everybody employed."
Someone laughed. The conversation moved on. No scoreboard. No need to turn his answer into proof. For years Maan had believed he wanted independence because he wanted to win elsewhere. It had taken him longer to understand that the freedom was partly in no longer needing every room to establish where he ranked.
Geet was speaking to Rhea two seats away. She did not appear to have heard any of it. Maan was strangely glad.
By afternoon, Daadi had been ordered upstairs to rest, and had agreed only after informing everybody that they were turning one bad night into a national emergency. Visitors thinned. Children were pushed toward homework. Rajendra disappeared into the study. Viren took a business call in the garden. The house did not become quiet so much as settle into a lower register.
Maan answered three messages from Dubai near the long windows. When he finished the third, he looked up. Geet was across the room with Tara. Neil sat farther away beside Samar. The arrangement meant nothing. Maan noticed it anyway. He also noticed that Geet had retied her hair - different from the morning. Another tiny fact his brain apparently considered important.
Tara said something. Geet laughed. Maan looked. Geet's eyes lifted, caught him. No shock now. No ladder. No darkness. Only awareness. Her expression changed by almost nothing. Five years ago Maan would have treated that as an invitation to solve it - was she angry, amused, uncomfortable, did she want him to look away, did she want him to come closer. He let the expression remain hers. Eventually Geet turned back to Tara. Maan looked at his phone. The message from Dubai remained unanswered. He started typing.
Somewhere between the library at two in the morning and the crowded family room in late afternoon, Maan understood what had actually changed. Last night he had discovered an adult woman existed where his memory still held a girl. Today he discovered that everybody else possessed pieces of her he had never seen. His mother knew what same meant when offering tea. A child knew which school complaint Geet would already have heard. An aunt could continue a conversation from six months earlier. Neil knew who reviewer two was. Maan knew the woman Geet had once been with an intimacy so concentrated it had fooled him into believing there could be no important part of her outside it.
Now there were five years everywhere he looked. He had spent those same five years learning how not to interfere with her life. And now, without warning, he was standing inside it.
The unsettling part was not that he wanted to know everything. Of course he did. The unsettling part was that he no longer knew which questions, if any, belonged to him.
So he asked none. For now.
5