Originally posted by: The_Best
Agree with everything, but I think Mihir already knows Tulsi loves him. When they met for the first time post leap, she was crying in front of him unless he thought she was crying over betrayal. I disagree with Noina loving him. I donāt think she loves him. If she loved him, she wouldnāt have sexually assaulted b multiple times. Who sexually assaults someone they love? That will justify sexual assaulters/rapists. She wasted decades of her life over him. I wouldāve felt bad if she was somewhat normal, but I canāt find any good in her after she sexually assaulted him and then post leap supporting a wife beater like Ranvijay and getting custody of the child. She separated a child from her mother
See, I completely understand where youāre coming from. Youāre right, but youāre also thinking about this like a good person, a healthy normal person who understands the concept of boundaries and consent, who believes in love being a good thing, who has values and beliefs instilled which makes it impossible for you to even imagine hurting someone else especially if you love them, let alone try and molest/assault them.
But this is exactly the issue I have addressed when I wrote Noina loves Mihir in her own twisted way. We are told that love is good, kind, transformative etc. always but like everything in the world itās got two sides.
When people like us love we wonāt be able to live with the kind of scorn that Mihir has for Noina, the treatment he gives her post leap because it would be amply evident to us that regardless of our feelings, this person has no interest in us or feelings for us. We would leave someone who clearly doesnāt want us. Noina has planned and plotted to get Mihir. We wouldnāt even do that. Loving someone is not something you can control or pick and choose consciously but staying with them or leaving them once you know they donāt want you is entirely up to you especially if you have the capability, resources even if not the support of anyone else to do so.
Noina is not like us. Which is why her idea of love is not like ours. Yes, I know what youāre saying is true and valid, but isnāt this the kind of thing we hear about sadly? Men who love someone who rejects them would kill her, rape her, throw acid on her. They say itās loveā¦ and to them it isā¦ we say itās not as we believe when you love someone you can never hurt them ā¦ but love doesnāt change the internal makeup of a person, their mindset or their personality.
A good person even when angry with or rejected by the person they love will never be able to bring themselves to hurt them even if they donāt go out of their way to help them or do something nice for them as before. Itās their way of accepting and understanding that rejection or processing that anger, that hurt and pain theyāre feeling. Their reaction will be considered normal by any standards even if it seems at odds with their usual personality and behaviour.
But evil people can have feelings too - we call it obsession, delusion, etc. but they call it love. The difference between our love and theirs is that theyāre inherently monsters and hence the love they feel for someone is also monstrous. It doesnāt give them a change of heart miraculously and makes them a good human being. Thatās for fantasies. This is reality.
Think of Noina as a grown up, more twisted version of Pari for a second.
Pari loved Ran but married Ajay. She was angry he didnāt turn up at SN and lashed out. She eventually cooled down but by then sheād been already married to Ajay. Rather than make peace with her past and give Ajay a chance, for which he was willing to give the time and space she needs as well - she chose to ruin and destroy a perfectly good man and his family without remorse. When asked by Tulsi about her decision she said she felt Ran was cooler and Ajay was a dud. She found him utterly boring and his dressing sense appalling. She rejected him not as she felt he was a horrible person or treated her badly or because there were fundamental differences between their personalities making it impossible for them to be together, she rejected him for her idea of ācoolā which just so happened to be Ran at the time.
Noina wanted to marry Mihir but college ended, they came home and she didnāt get an opportunity to confess her love when she still had the chance. Perhaps she wanted to reach out to him back then too, but by the time she could, she found out that he was already married to Tulsi.
Noina went onto eventually marry her husband Navin, like Ajay he seemed to be a good man by all accounts from whatever little we heard of him from Noinaās old acquaintances. Noina took what Pari did 10 steps further, she compared her husband to a man who was the perfect person in her head who could have her heart and found him lacking, as Pari did, for similar superficial reasons - he wasnāt handsome enough, not dynamic or brilliant enough, not intelligent enough. She drove that poor man to suicide or maybe even killed him herself and got away with it.
Just like Ajay, Navin was a victim for no fault of his own as a woman had made up her mind regarding whom she wanted and good as this person was, she would rather destroy him than leave him for good by simply saying that she canāt love him and wants a divorce.
The difference comes in that Pari got her wish - her Ran - and he turned out to be an absolute nightmare disguised as a dream waking her up to the crude reality that sheād been a fool who burned herself for trash all those years ago. Now she has to suffer the scars of that for the rest of her life, with a daughter who would always keep her tied to her past no matter how much sheād want to escape it. What she once wanted is her biggest trauma and her worst mistake that sheās come to accept and admit.
Noina has trapped Mihir and got him too. But Mihir is no Ran. He wouldnāt ever treat a woman like Ran did. Itās simply not true to his character and personality as a human being. Where Ran burned down Pariās house of illusions one slap at a time in 6 years, Noina has been piling on her dream house one lie at a time that sheās told herself and let Mihir tell her as she let it slide that he was lying to her even if she knew it.
Pari woke up to the reality because she saw the monster behind the man she wanted, who turned out to be an even worse monster than she was and scared her into submission and dominated her.
Noina refuses to wake up because sheās the monster behind a man in this case.
We reject monsters like her because we donāt consider what they feel is love. But love doesnāt necessarily mean itās a good, healthy thing. After all, love at the end of the day is an emotion a person feels. It doesnāt change their personality or their inner self, it simply either makes someone the best or the worst versions of themselves that theyāre capable of being as a human being.
I daresay even Mittali loves her daughter. Hard not to since she has to have some affection for her as her biological child. But does that automatically make her a good mother? Did it flip on the switch of her caring side? Can she do what our moms did for us? Forget chores like ironing our uniforms, preparing our tiffins etc. can she even pretend to be enjoying her daughterās company for 5 minutes? No oneās saying sheās not allowed to be exasperated by or get tired of her daughterās questions, sheās human after all and even our moms would snap at us sometimesā¦ but the difference is later theyād come to us and apologise. Theyād cajole and cuddle us, tickle and kiss us, do whatever it takes to get us to laugh again and be happy if she got unfairly mad at us. Because once that moment passed, they knew that they had been wrong. Their love for us was so powerful that they would get over whatever bothered them to make sure we had our apology and stopped feeling sad or hurt or crying. Can you imagine Mittali doing that? Even noticing she unfairly snapped at her daughter and now she needs to apologise and make that child feel better? And this is motherly love we are talking about, the most powerful, selfless and giving kind of love in the world. You would think Mittali would have a better behaviour and she would care for a mini-me she carried in her own body for 9 months but has it been the case at all? Itās said carrying a child rewires a womanās entire system and life completelyā¦ not just in terms of her external life but on a molecular level in her own body too. Sheās fundamentally different as a person from who she was before she knew what being a mom was. But even motherhood didnāt make Mittali a better person. Not even when the child is her own.
Love therefore IMO is an emotion that anyone and everyone can feelā¦ what makes it good or bad, beautiful or ugly is the person who feels it, the way they go about expressing it and how their expression affects those at the receiving end of it.
The difference between the two is Tulsi loves Mihir like a person, a man whom she took the effort to knew, care for, nurture and love. Noina loves Mihir like a prize she feels sheās owed and been waiting for, for far too long. Sheās not known him as a person, a human being with allergies and long standing health issues, a person with likes and dislikes. To her, heās not even a real person with feelings. Remember recently Mihir told her prior to the auction scene that heās tired of doing things for everyone. Everyone expects him to work regardless of what his inner state is and look after them, but heās a human being too. If heās unhappy how can he function normally?
Tulsi has won Mihirās heart, Noina wants to just win Mihir, whether his heart is involved or not, thatās the difference between the two.
Love inherently by itself isnāt good or bad, itās people who make it either of the two. Thatās why itās said we must be careful about whom we love as we can experience heaven and hell both on earth by our choices alone.
Edited by EkPaheli - 52 minutes ago
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