But anyway, I present to you a I'm sorry for running away fic. And guess what, this is actually, at least by my standards, happy! I think all that angst while writing House stories has finally made me want to write a happy fic xD
So,
Title: Marriage
Summary: Yuvi proposes. I hope it's in tune with the AYLS marriage thingy.
You don't know what to tell her. You could tell her that you can't promise to be faithful for the rest of your life, and that would be true. You could tell her that you don't know that she would always be the only woman in your life, and that would also be the truth. You could tell her that you both were sworn enemies and you weren't supposed to fall in love and that would also be true. But then you have to look into her chocolate-brown eyes and explain why, and any reason that you might come up with will definitely not be true.
You don't exactly know what's wrong, and maybe that's much worse. It's not like everything in your life is made up of roses and gold stars; what with all the daddy issues and the mommy issues and the career issues, and all sorts of things that you don't want to think about. You think you might have commitment issues too, but that's a whole different matter.
You don't even know why you want to marry her. Perhaps it's because she's the only woman strong and daring enough to stand up to you. Perhaps it's because you hated her when you first saw her, and you're grateful because she made you feel something. Perhaps it's because she actually has the capability to be human, and you don't want to let that go. But you think that the biggest reason is because when you kissed for the first time, she smelt like a weird combination of sweat, nylon, mint and cafeteria food, and it felt so right, so natural that you didn't want to let that go.
This isn't the first time you've thought about marrying her; or vice-versa. She took the first step, because no matter how human she might be, she's Ashi and that's what she does. It was subtle, it was like a clich; how you found the ring between your files, and to this date you don't exactly know why you returned it back to her without saying anything.
"Why?" is the only thing she asks you that night, and you have so many answers to that that it boggles your mind. You think about saying something safe such as It's too early or something potentially fatal such as I don't love you anymore but you decide to go with I don't know, and maybe that's the truest thing you've said all along.
In your ideal world, there wouldn't be any problems with all this. In your ideal world, your parents would be your best friends and your life would turn out to be exactly what you want it to be, and you wouldn't be so damn scared (at least not as much as you are now). It's easy enough to go up to your father and say something like: "Why didn't you love me enough?" or "What did I ever do wrong?" but that all sounds angry and petulant and you like to think you're above that. You don't think about the possibility that your father, too, might answer with an I don't know and that's more than what you can bear.
The second time she broaches the subject of marriage, it's when she's asking you to describe your dream wedding. You say something along the lines of a good band and lilies and you in a white dress, but there's a part of you that screams: "I don't know" because, honestly, you don't. All you know is that no matter how much you'd like to believe otherwise, you still have your father's genes, and you might as well go ahead and destroy your family one day. It seems like everyone in your family has the capability to amazingly self-destruct and that isn't a possibility you would like yourself to consider.
You want to be honest with her, but it's not like you can go and say: Let's get married now, but if in twenty years I succeed in wrecking whatever family we might have, and if I succeed in ruining your life, don't tell me that I didn't warn you. So you don't even try to tell her because she might sympathize or comfort you or alleviate your fears but she wouldn't ever completely understand and you don't want such a big sacrifice for your honesty.
The third time, you just go up to her at lunch and put the ring on her finger without a long speech, without decorations, without anything but a mouthful of potatoes, and that's hardly romantic.
You don't know what to say to her that doesn't end with I don't know so you say nothing at all.
I would give you a cookie if you reply :D
Happy reading!
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