Legal or ethical - Who is mother of the child? - Page 7

Originally posted by: MsWhiskerson

When did I say Ruhi deserves the baby? Mine was an ethical question on a woman's right to her body, since the baby is not hers, is she allowed to do whatever she wants to do?

Your thread started with a question. Who should be called the mother? The woman who carries the baby in her womb or the woman who donates her egg. Your thread is all about Ruhi deserving the baby more than Abhira.

You asked me if Ruhi is allowed to drink during pregnancy because the baby doesn't belong to her. My answer is no because she promised Abhira she'll take full care of herself and their baby in those 9 months and deliver Abhimaan's healthy baby. The baby is her responsibility and nothing else till the time it is born.

If Abhira was Ruhi's baby's surrogate she also would have no right over the baby because she's a surrogate. Usually people discuss all these among themselves while signing the agreement that the baby has to go to the biological parents. Surrogacy is prevalent in India. Lot of rich people who can't have kids give lots of money to poor and needy women to become surrogates. After the baby is born, those people take the baby and the surrogate cannot demand it in anyway.

Originally posted by: JKSR

Childbirth is a profound and transformative journey—one that embodies strength, love, and the miracle of life. It is an experience unique to women, marking a deep connection between a mother and her child. While anything that is forced upon someone is undoubtedly inhumane, the act of bringing life into the world, when embraced with readiness and love, should be celebrated rather than feared. Surrogacy, too, is a path that allows the gift of life to be shared, offering hope to those who may not experience childbirth themselves. Instead of looking at these things as painful or negative, we should recognize the love and strength they represent.

Originally posted by: Life_Is_Dutiful

Your thread started with a question. Who should be called the mother? The woman who carries the baby in her womb or the woman who donates her egg. Your thread is all about Ruhi deserving the baby more than Abhira.

You asked me if Ruhi is allowed to drink during pregnancy because the baby doesn't belong to her. My answer is no because she promised Abhira she'll take full care of herself and their baby in those 9 months and deliver Abhimaan's healthy baby. The baby is her responsibility and nothing else till the time it is born.

If Abhira was Ruhi's baby's surrogate she also would have no right over the baby because she's a surrogate. Usually people discuss all these among themselves while signing the agreement that the baby has to go to the biological parents. Surrogacy is prevalent in India. Lot of rich people who can't have kids give lots of money to poor and needy women to become surrogates. After the baby is born, those people take the baby and the surrogate cannot demand it in anyway.

Yes. It was a question because there are different opinions, it is not my opinion. My opinion is that surrogacy is an evil practice and should be criminalized in India.

Anyway, Commercial surrogacy is now criminalized in India, rich people can't do that anymore because it is exploitation, you can't buy a human or rather rent a human body for months, especially when it results in permanent change also can lead to death

Now, my question about ethics of it, Abhira is legal and biological mother, you also added ethics in it, so tell me, how is ethical that Ruhi loses rights on her body for 9 months? Especially now that she is going through extreme traumatic experience, a surrogate should be physically and mentally fit, is Ruhi's current condition ethically right to carry the child?

She is saying she will- sure, tomorrow if she says she wants the child then what? So, we completely disregard the health and well being of one woman saying "She wants to do it" but same "She wants the baby" doesn't work, why?

In both cases, we are considered what benefits biological parents and completely disregarding that a human is being used, she has no autonomy over her body for months, you strip them off all the fundamental rights and she might even die at the end of it but none cares as long as biological parents get the baby

Where is the ethics of it?

Originally posted by: MsWhiskerson

MR at base involves force, yes, there is no criminal law against it and we need reforms but it can't be compared to surrogacy because forceful surrogacy isn't legal in India

Commercial surrogacy isn't legal as well

Discussing about surrogacy, I don't support it because a woman has to relinquish her rights over her body, this kind of ownership is dangerous and against article 21 of our constitution

But we can't say that baby belongs to surrogate mother because the process was done because intended parents want the child, if they are not getting the child, there won't be a surrogate

As for the baby, I have seen cases where mothers hate their own children due to postpartum depression, I have seen cases where biological parents abandon the child after surrogacy, I have seen cases where surrogate has no feelings for the child

So a blanket assumption that the child should be with surrogate is wrong for all the parties, what if surrogate mother doesn't want the child? What if she can't love someone else's child?

Legally and Biologically the child belongs to biological parents

A court can decide in favor of surrogate mother if biological parents are unfit to be parents

But surrogacy - and the child are two completely different discussion

U articulated what I feel ..like some here I am completely against surrogacy coz the woman loses complete control over her body

What's the guarantee the parents will chose the surrogate over the kid in India. What about the kids of the surrogate..what if they are young ? What's the guarantee fam or husband will give the same care ? ..too many uncontrollable variables ..

It's mostly emo manipulation..I have heard all kinds of stories from my buas who are gynecologists 😭😭 ( they never tell the names for privacy purposes)

My heart brain can't handle the overload

Originally posted by: AnjuRish

U articulated what I feel ..like some here I am completely against surrogacy coz the woman loses complete control over her body

What's the guarantee the parents will chose the surrogate over the kid in India. What about the kids of the surrogate..what if they are young ? What's the guarantee fam or husband will give the same care ? ..too many uncontrollable variables ..

It's mostly emo manipulation..I have heard all kinds of stories from my buas who are gynecologists 😭😭 ( they never tell the names for privacy purposes)

My heart brain can't handle the overload

My sister is a gynecologist, she tells me so many things that I have decided never to have children. Women's reproductive health is not a priority of any sector in India, they just see that our population is increasing and they are fine but we don't see the impact of it on women's health

We are not socially or financially equipped to handle something like surrogacy in India, it is working because we know how to exploit people

Originally posted by: nutmeg7

Kaunsa prompt Diya tha for chatGPT ?

Looks like many people had concerns about using ChatGPT. Since it’s a sensitive topic, I didn’t want any misinterpretation, so I used it to help articulate my thoughts. But the ideas were mine—it just helped me express them better.

The main point is to avoid being judgmental. Some things, like only women being able to give birth, are part of nature. It’s important that no one feels it’s a torture, burden, or obligation.

Anything that involves force or manipulation is wrong. This applies not just to surrogacy or pregnancy, but to any situation where someone's choices are being controlled. If adults fully understand the consequences and still choose to proceed, we should respect and support their decision. In case of surrogacy they came into agreement with all parties involved being fully aware of consequences so you can't tell the mother as mere egg donor or father as sperm donor.

Hope this gives clarity.

Originally posted by: MsWhiskerson

My sister is a gynecologist, she tells me so many things that I have decided never to have children. Women's reproductive health is not a priority of any sector in India, they just see that our population is increasing and they are fine but we don't see the impact of it on women's health

We are not socially or financially equipped to handle something like surrogacy in India, it is working because we know how to exploit people

Absolutely. I have told my daughter never to have children if she ever chooses to get married in future. Always adopt if interested to become a mother. There are few gynaecologist in my family and the horror stories i have heard from them is enough to realise that just because every women gives birth after marriage, doesn't mean it doesn't have a negative impact on our bodies. Didn't intend to make this into a gender debate and deviate from the topic, but unfortunately women and their well being are not a priority in most parts .

Originally posted by: JKSR

Looks like many people had concerns about using ChatGPT. Since it’s a sensitive topic, I didn’t want any misinterpretation, so I used it to help articulate my thoughts. But the ideas were mine—it just helped me express them better.

Originally posted by: JKSR

Looks like many people had concerns about using ChatGPT. Since it’s a sensitive topic, I didn’t want any misinterpretation, so I used it to help articulate my thoughts. But the ideas were mine—it just helped me express them better.

The main point is to avoid being judgmental. Some things, like only women being able to give birth, are part of nature. It’s important that no one feels it’s a torture, burden, or obligation.

Anything that involves force or manipulation is wrong. This applies not just to surrogacy or pregnancy, but to any situation where someone's choices are being controlled. If adults fully understand the consequences and still choose to proceed, we should respect and support their decision. In case of surrogacy they came into agreement with all parties involved being fully aware of consequences so you can't tell the mother as mere egg donor or father as sperm donor.

Hope this gives clarity.

Nutmeg was joking, a lot of people do use chatgpt to articulate their thoughts and there is nothing wrong in it.

In my opinion, Abheera is the mother of the child legally and ethically. I guess legality doesn't need to be explained here. If I speak of ethical dimension, Abheera-Armaan and Ruhi are involved consciously without any doubt in this surrogacy. so basically both parties know it and Ruhi is doing it out of free will not under anyone's influence. Yes the pain that the surrogacy mother goes through in terms of physical and emotional is immense but if we base this to negate and nullify the paternity rights of the bio parents that make unethical. As a surrogacy mother, Ruhi needs to acknowledge and accept that the baby that she is carrying does not belong to her and she is the baby's massi. She needs to set clear boundaries. That way the attachment that she will feel will be lessened and she needs to be respected by Abhimaan too for volunteering herself for carrying their kid.