Posted:
"COMPETITIVE SALARY:"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:"
We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:"
We don't pay you enough to expect that you'll dress nicely.
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"MUST BE FLEXIBLE:"
On many occasions, you'll be asked to bend over and grab your
ankles.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY:"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:"
We have no quality control.
"CAREER-MINDED:"
Female employees must be childless (and remain that way).
"APPLY IN PERSON:"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been
filled.
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal
formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:"
You'll need it to replace the three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or
respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and
do it.
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:"
We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:"
We don't pay you enough to expect that you'll dress nicely.
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"MUST BE FLEXIBLE:"
On many occasions, you'll be asked to bend over and grab your
ankles.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY:"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:"
We have no quality control.
"CAREER-MINDED:"
Female employees must be childless (and remain that way).
"APPLY IN PERSON:"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been
filled.
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal
formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:"
You'll need it to replace the three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or
respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and
do it.
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