Acknowledgement: The Inanimate series were created by Swasti and I am merely borrowing her idea. Swasti, I hope you don't mind.
I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. ~Gilda Radner
An Inanimate Farewell
All the Inanimates are gathered in the Sanjeevani caf for a farewell party for Ms. Shilpa Anand. The caf, who is the host of the party, tinkles a coffee cup with a spoon to catch everyone's attention.
Caf: Dear Friends, as you know Ms Shilpa Anand has decided to leave DMG. I know this has broken many hearts and we are still recovering from the shock but I thought it would be nice if we could have a small get together and wish Ms Anand farewell. Unfortunately, she has already moved onto "bigger and better" things and was not able to attend our little function. However, despair not, I have found this lovely poster cut out of her from the Valentine special episode. So we are all set. First of all I would like to call on Ms Anand's longest standing associate on the show, the Locker.
Locker: You and I have been together from the start. Others have come and gone, but I, I have always been there for you. A silent supporter for you to hide behind. I have witnessed your pranks, your smiles, your tears and in all that I have fallen in love with you. But you……. How can you do this to me? How can you let a stranger touch me? How can you let a stranger hide behind my door? How can you let a stranger reach inside me, store their stuff in me? I cannot bear this. I beseech the producers to assign a different locker to the newcomer. Please retire me, like the jersey numbers of famous sportsmen are retired. Please Please…….
The locker stomps off from the caf in a huff. Everyone is buzzing about the locker's outburst. The caf tries to recover and carry on.
Locker: Ok Now we have a small dance and song number by the Payal and Kada.
The Payal and Kada take the floor.
Payal:
Is reshami paazeb ki jhankaar ke sadke
Jisne yeh pehni thi us dildaar ke sadke .
Javaani mangati thi ye haseen jhankaar barason se
Tamanna bun rahi thi dhadakanon ke taar barason se
Chhup-chhup ke aane vaale tere pyaar ke sadake
Is reshami paazeb ki ...
Now the Kada:
Tere haathon se door badi tanhahiyaan hain
Thoda thero sajan majbooriyaan hain
Milan hona tha , lekin ab badi dooriyaan hain.
Meri Sajani kiya yeh bura kaam tune,
Kore haathon se utar diya tune
Kahin ka bhi nahin choda, mujhe hai Raam tune.
Tere haathon se door badi tanhahiyaan hain……
Locker: That was very nice Kada and Payal. And now I would like to call upon the wardrobe to say few words.
But the suits are not paying attention to the Caf. They are busy bickering amongst themselves.
Old Suits: No No. We are not going to say anything. We are mad at her. First she wore us down to a thread and then she got fat and we had to be sent to the tailor's for alteration. If she was leaving at least we should have been spared the needle and pin jabs.
New Suits: At least you guys got to get famous we have hardly made our debut and its already retirement time for us.
Purple Anarkali Suit: Stop it guys. Don't forget what she has done for us.
Steps forward and says: Dear Ms Anand, we, the suits would like to thank you for making us fashionable. Were it not for you and how amazing you made us look we would not be all the rage right now. We will surely miss you. We know you don't like to wear us in your personal life but you should really reconsider that as we make you look much better than the mini skirts and capris.
Caf: Ok now, it's the teddy bears turn.
The white and blue teddy's: Dear Shilpa, No one has been closer to you than us. We have shared so many hugs, so many close moments and all we want to say is –
Hold me close, don't let me go, oh no
I, yes I love you and I think that you know
Do ya know ?
With your love light shining
Every clouds got a silver lining
So hold me close, don't let me go
Caf: And now someone really special, The Kiss.
Everyone hushes. They know the Kiss has taken this the hardest. The Kiss walks up to the podium, looks straight at her eyes with longing and need. Then its gaze falls on the shiny pink glossed lips and it says,
Khud ko bhi humne mita daala magar,
Phaasle do darmiyaan ke reh gaye
Dil ke armaan aansoon mein beh gaye
Hum wafa karke bhi tanha reh gaye.
With a heavy heart the Kiss walks away.
Caf: And now I would like to call upon the Hawa ka jhonka and the dupatta
Hawa ka jhonka: Breezing through will never be the same again. Playing with someone's tresses will never be the same. This is for you my darling,
Jhonka Hava Ka Aaj Bhi Zulfein Udaata Hoga Na
Tera Dupatta Aaj Bhi Tere Sar Se Sarakta Hoga Na
Baalon Mein Tere Aaj Bhi Phool Koi Sajta Hoga Na
Dhandi Havaein Raaton Mein Tujhko Thapkiya Deti Hogi Na
Chaand Ki Thandak Khwaabon Mein Tujhko Leke To Jaati Hogi Na
Sooraj Ki Kirnen Subah Ko Teri Neendein Udaati Hogi Na
Mere Khayaalon Mein Sanam Khud Se Bhi Baatein Karti Hogi Na
Main Dekhta Hoon Chhup Chhupke Tumko Mehsoos Karti Hogi Na
Jhonka Hava Ka Aaj Bhi Zulfein Udaata Hoga Na
Fire Escape:
Never before has someone more beautiful been in my stairwell.
Never has one more innocent been pinned to my walls,
Never before have I been such a hopeless romantic
Never has waiting for someone made me so frantic
How will I now play the "decipher her expression" game
I wonder how she will be, the new Dame.
Will the new couple treat me the same
What will become of my glory and fame?
Caf: All right now, to end it all, we will perform together on the number you made so famous. This routine by you brought life to my dreary existence like never before. So thank you for that.
Everyone gathers on the dance floor and the music starts
Can we stop ya
Oooooo
Can we stop ya
Oooooo
Can we stop ya
Oooooo
Can we stop ya
Zara Zara Touch Me Touch Me Touch Me
Ah Zara Zara Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me
Ah Zara Zara Hold Me Hold Me Hold Me
Please feel free to contribute your own inanimate farewell messages.
Anupamaa
Cricket
Health and Fitness
Fan Fictions
