Kajol would have chosen Aman over Rahul in real life - Page 11

Originally posted by: carisma2

Hi RTH,

This entire Sex and Gender issue is a circling one. I am familiar with the above. However I am an ardent old school believer that Sex and Gender go hand in hand for most. 'Female human being; a person assigned a female sex at birth, or a person who defines herself as a woman'. It's seriously a tiring argument that I often have away from IF platform.

Wrapping my head around sex and gender is something I have struggled with and continue to struggle with. However, I, too, have strong opinions about it, so I will engage. However, I understand it is a challenging topic. I understand if you do not wish to engage. And if it gets too contentious for this topic or forum, I will disengage.

Sex is a biological fact. It is something that exists in nature and cannot be denied. However, it is not a clear binary. When we look at the XY sex-determination system, XX is female, and XY is male. But then you have anomalies like XY chromosome individuals whose gonads develop into non-functional ovaries (Swyer syndrome) or XX chromosome individuals whose gonads develop into non-functional testes (XX male syndrome). There is a whole range of intersex syndromes.

There is also a range of secondary sex characteristics that can impact people. XX women can sometimes produce higher than normal testosterone leading to more muscle mass, more hairy face/body, male pattern baldness, etc. XY men can sometimes produce higher than normal estrogen, leading to gynecomastia, aka man boobs.

Now coming to gender. It is often used interchangeably with sex, where the distinction is not apparent at all. However, gender is a set of social roles and behaviors attributed to people based on their sex. This is a completely artificial man-made construct and has zero basis in nature. The proof of that is how varied these roles have been historically and culturally.

Makeup is considered by many to be a female activity, and men who wear makeup are teased or assumed gay. But throughout many periods of history, men have been expected to do makeup. In many Asian cultures, especially in Korea and Japan, men culturally do as much makeup as women.

Another one is men don't wear skirts or dresses or drapes. Scottish men wear kilts. The lungi is another nonbifurcated male attire. Tunics and togas of old worn by Greeks and Romans were literally dresses and drapes.

Similarly, once upon a time, women were expected to wear dresses. And while some people still cling to that, thousands of women worldwide wear jeans, pants, and suits, without anyone questioning their femininity.

In some cultures, women were expected to be quiet and stay at home and be the nurturers. But some cultures were matriarchal. Some cultures had a history of elite female warriors. Some cultures had a history of female elders and leaders making decisions equally with men.

We can clearly see, based on the variances in society, that gendered roles are completely arbitrary and an artificial construct of the society it exists in rather than actually going hand in hand with biological sex.

Originally posted by: Blueberry94

bold im always curious actually whats this isssue Between both. Kajol and kjo re long time friends wonder why ajay avoided working wirh kjo. Is it coz of not suiting ajays types of films?but then ajay did golmaal type films too..

Ajay never trusted Karan

He came out openly in 2016 and said Karan paid KRK to speak badly about his films.

Originally posted by: 1t1svat1t1s

When a young girl hates being called a girl, then you blame the society around her and not the girl herself. Blame the deeply instilled patriarchy in the society which keeps reminding the young kids how it’s girlish to cry, whine, weak and dependent while the boy thing is to be brave, happy, charismatic , knights in the shining armor and independent .

I was one of the girls. I wanted to play with He-man action figures and toy cars, not Barbie. I wanted to run around, rough house, and wrestle, instead of play house. But people in society told girls shouldn't do that. So I would hate being called a girl, because accepting that I am a girl would mean I would have to do things I hate, like play with Barbies and wear a dress. Fortunately, I had really cool parents and family who never put me in a box because I am a girl. And over time I became a lot more comfortable being the girl who just questioned the absurd rules of society.

Originally posted by: Phosphorus

I think if we don’t associate gender with biological sex, the society will be chaotic like we are being pushed 100+ genders down our throats and new pronouns like xer, xe etc and babies being called theyby 🤪

Honestly the far left is too far gone

Here's a radical idea. If you let people be and don't force them to behave in a certain way because of their biological sex, society wouldn't have gotten so complicated.

When you say things like boys don't cry, girls don't throw punches; boys don't play with dolls, girls don't play rough sports, you open the door for people to say well, then I'm not a boy/girl.

Honestly, the left and right are both playing a game of Newton with escalating actions and reactions. If only everyone would chill and be like be whatever you want to be, young padawan, you want to be an owlbear - I'd love to see you do that.

Originally posted by: Clochette

Didn't I wrote "in my mind" and "I think", shubhshubh? So why this senseless post.

I wouldn't expect Kajol to react in another way than praising her husband.

Would you tell to public eyes/ears something negative about someone you've chosen as your life-partner? Wouldn't that not also reflect something not so positive relative to yourself?

this is a lame comeback, and there is nothing senseless in my post contrary to what you said, I just pointed out the senselessness, that's it.

of course it is in your "mind" only... lol..

and what do you mean by you won't EXPECT Kajol to react in any other way? she is no majboor abla of 15th century

and what do you mean by your last line? There is nothing such negative about Ajay that you are trying to make and portray here.

What about Gauri? did she chose not to eyes ears public all the negative things about SRK and his world famous no secret cheating affair with PeeCee and other very strong nasty affairs?

it's wonderful how you chose to ignore a legit cheating husband SRK's affairs and focusing on Ajay Kajol when there is absolutely nothing wrong between them. (as you mentioned yourself it was in your mind only)

slow claps.

Anjali had low self esteem IMO.

Otherwise why remain so sad or still having feelings for Rahul after so many years?

Did she assume he also missed her or would someday come back to her?

What if he never met her again or Tina was still alive? Would Anjali still lose her control and have feelings for Rahul and do a Rekha of Silsila on Rahul then?

I understand inability of people to get over their first crush or first love. But I do find it weakness and sign of low self esteem to remain obsessed with same person who never saw you in same light, married someone else, moved on in own life. One owes self better than ruin self over others or feel empty without someone who does not see them same way as they do.

Anjali should have been able to see how better Aman is for her. Her remaining unmarried for all these years while Rahul even went ahead and had an 8 YO daughter in this time period, says a lot about her low self esteem, lack of self love and emotional fragility, besides a lack of self respect if I may add. I feel one should never give so much importance to anyone else that you ruin yourself or a part of you dies from within or you remain fixated on same person or their memories or a version of time or person you liked/held dear. I know it sounds tough but I have seen people suffer in real life and torture self over those who never deserved it and never reciprocated that love either.

Anjali owed it to herself to move on and accept, embrace and value someone who liked her a lot and was nice to her mom too (men bonding with own in laws so much is rare).

But director just wanted to cash on SRK and Kajol jodi. And seems to be a misogynist himself. I hate Rani's character also feeling guilty for coming between SRK and Kajol. Huh? How did she assume she came between them? Did she know Rahul loved Anjali? But was distracted by her? That she felt guilty seeing Kajol crying or sad at leaving college?

Originally posted by: .Sunrise.

If anyone was sexist it was Tom boy anjali

I mean she used to hate being called a girl as if it was an insult 😜😜

Actually girls are shamed and judged for smallest things for being girls from childhood and scolded for running around, being loud, talkative, sporty, physically active, competitive, aggressive etc and they also see other women around being bullied or subjugated or see girls as victims in T.V. shows, films, fairy tales and hear misogynistic rants in religious sermons too which makes girls hate self for being girls.

Plenty of girls hate being scolded, judged or confined to home or being forbidden to play outside or talk to men etc and being judged all time merely for being girls.

They also hate how boys get away with anything in most desi homes while they are treated differently as they are girls or are treated as burden or a safety risk or labeled paraya dhan from childhood, people discussing her wedding or future in laws.

Many girls also suffer a lot in teenage, due to hormonal changes and issues like dysmenorrhea which sometimes makes them regret why only girls have to suffer it.

Or face unwanted or cheap sexualisation or pervert attention from men which makes them feel they would not get such looks or touch if they were not girls and they want to downplay their feminity as they see it as root cause of the scrutiny, bias they face.

Like in desi homes, girls are shamed for not covering chest or if breasts are too large and women are told to walk slow or descend from stairs slowly so that breasts do not move much etc.

All these things do make a girl often resent being a girl and all baggage being a girl carries with it.

As a kid I also hated being judged too much for being a girl and after puberty I hated it more.

So I am aware where this self hate, self consciousness comes from and where need to downplay feminity stems from.

Society likes to put females in a box. Has rigid definitions of feminity and sexualizes women a lot, expects women to be quiet or give up, never argue or reason or think for self. Society also treats anything feminine as weak or inferior or fragile or a matter of shame or some object or something to not take seriously or something irrational. That is what contributes to many girls growing up with some dislike at being judged or boxed in definitions of girliness.

Originally posted by: atominis

But director just wanted to cash on SRK and Kajol jodi.

What are your thoughts on DDLJ. Did that have a more substantial storyline than KKHH ?

Are you trying to troll me, shubhshubh? Forget it. What I wanted to write, I wrote...nothing more is necessary (from my side).

All the interpretations are yours...and yes, rhetorical questions are senseless because the asking person can answer them him-/herself.

To all those quoting my post

It was a joke

Iam well aware of all the struggles a girl has in our society but this movie doesn't show why anjali was a tom.boy like in main hoon Na Sanjana clearly mentions that it's because of the discrimination between boy and a girl she became like this