Mrs. Chatterjee Vs Norway | Official Trailer I Rani Mukerji - Page 9

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/pediatricians-say-dont-spank-your-kids-heres-why-what-to-do-instead/amp/

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spanking

Can someone tell me whos story this is based on?

Originally posted by: falsePromise

i remember reading this news back in that time. But the actual parent beat the children which is very normal for an indian parent but was not ok for the norway govt which is why they took the kids

No they didn't. One of the social workers reported that the mother admitted hitting the child one time (the mother denied it), then social worker told her it's illegal, and the mother apparently told her it won't happen again. There was no proof of bruises or anything like that. Also, nobody saw the mother or father hit the child. That incident was only reported after norway lost the first appeal against the parents.

If you read on the case, there was hardly any evidence that the children weren't taken care of.

Originally posted by: vcs17

i followed this case completely when it happened and read different articles on it, almost 10 yrs ago

though i agree with the views that there are cultural differences in bringing up children, imo this is not that black and white

the husband was a scientist and she had a 14 month son when she joined him in Norway and then got pregnant almost immediately and had the daughter (i looked up the dates, she went in dec 2009 and baby was born in dec 2010).

now all of us know the amout of adjustment one has to make when one moves, cultural etc, especially places where winter is severe and you dont see the sun, no people, on top of it any parent knows how difficult handling kids, pregnancy and parenthood especially if kids are under 2 and have less age difference, without family and friends. this can lead to depression

post partum depression is very common among mothers but is not recognised or addressed in india.

i do think this was a case of that, and the articles then also suggested that, and she might have hit the kids in that state, one can easily see that life theretook a toll on her

however the norway authorities did prolong it too much as family from india were willing to take the kids and this blew up into a diplomatic issue and it was a emotional issue.

finally, the couple actually even went through divorce, one may say the case took a toll on them, but the husband in the proceedings said she has psychological issues which were denied, it was also said he wanted to stay back in norway and she didnt want to stay back which resulted in their seperation.

i havent watched the trailer but i i doubt it will show these grey areas and make it a very black and white subject

What were the grey areas? What does post partum depression have to do with the case? If you look at the evidence, there was 1 report of her hitting her son. That report came from a social worker who said the mother admitted hitting her son 1 time (the mother denied it). I read about the case, most of the evidence was speculations by social workers. They had no evidence that the kids were not taken care of (they well well fed, well cleaned, the parent took them to playgrounds, took them to the doctor for the check ups, vaccins were done, etc.).

Originally posted by: Supari_khala

I have to say, I am disappointed reading this from you. Didn’t expect it. Sorry. Would you say an occasional slap was okay if a husband did that to his wife because she didn’t cook his meal right or didn’t put out in the bed, one day? There’s a power differential there too, most men are physically stronger than the women they are married to. Husbands slapping wives were considered the norm back in the day in most cultures too. Nobody batted an eyelid. Now, humans in most cultures have evolved and stopped normalizing it. So why is it okay for parents be physically violent with their kids even if just a “little bit of spanking”? There is a Very visible power and size difference, there too. Clearly, abuse of power. Cultural relativism be damned. There’s plenty wrong with most cultures.

Perhaps I am not expressing myself accurately.

It is not at all OK. Violence is never ever acceptable. I do think intervention is necessary. But I don't think it should be the immediate cause of families being broken up.

I was specifically talking about parents and guardians of any gender occasionally breaking out a slap when children misbehave - more specifically the instance in the trailer. I was not talking about domestic abuse at all.

And perhaps my perspective is tainted by my own experiences where overall my childhood was so blissful and happy, that the occasional slap didn't ruin it. I would hate to have had that taken away because my parents made a few mistakes along the way.

Some people are too far gone and dangerous. But some people will do better when they know better. I think the latter deserves a chance to learn. But I guess it's tricky to determine which is which so they implement blanket rules.

US CPS be like this that can be terrifying and unnavigable for immigrants especially who do not speak English well.

https://youtu.be/0WBrwokqCPQ

Originally posted by: Supari_khala

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/pediatricians-say-dont-spank-your-kids-heres-why-what-to-do-instead/amp/

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spanking

And how many parents, especially immigrant parents, are taught this and are aware of this? Didn't many grow up with parents who beat them and are taught by their elders and community to beat kids who don't listen?

I 100% agree with the articles. Violence is extremely harmful and damaging to children. There should always be swift interventions.

Perhaps there should be free and mandatory parenting classes that teach parents the techniques to discipline children without violence and the legal repercussions of spanking children. People deserve to learn whats right and wrong before they get punished for wrong.

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

And how many parents, especially immigrant parents, are taught this and are aware of this? Didn't many grow up with parents who beat them and are taught by their elders and community to beat kids who don't listen?

I 100% agree with the articles. Violence is extremely harmful and damaging to children. There should always be swift interventions.

Perhaps there should be free and mandatory parenting classes that teach parents the techniques to discipline children without violence and the legal repercussions of spanking children. People deserve to learn whats right and wrong before they get punished for wrong.

In this case, they never had a proof of the parents hitting the children. During one of the visits, the kid was putting a tantrum, the mother raised her hand, but didn't hit the child. That was used against them. If they used that kind of evidence to take away kids from parents, almost all kids would be in foster care. They also seem to ignore the trauma that the child will have separating from their parents.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqLpakbTfqU

The Norway child protection services has had many controversial cases like this. They were huge protests against them. It is corrupt.

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

And how many parents, especially immigrant parents, are taught this and are aware of this? Didn't many grow up with parents who beat them and are taught by their elders and community to beat kids who don't listen?

I 100% agree with the articles. Violence is extremely harmful and damaging to children. There should always be swift interventions.

Perhaps there should be free and mandatory parenting classes that teach parents the techniques to discipline children without violence and the legal repercussions of spanking children. People deserve to learn whats right and wrong before they get punished for wrong.

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

Perhaps I am not expressing myself accurately.

It is not at all OK. Violence is never ever acceptable. I do think intervention is necessary. But I don't think it should be the immediate cause of families being broken up.

I was specifically talking about parents and guardians of any gender occasionally breaking out a slap when children misbehave - more specifically the instance in the trailer. I was not talking about domestic abuse at all.

And perhaps my perspective is tainted by my own experiences where overall my childhood was so blissful and happy, that the occasional slap didn't ruin it. I would hate to have had that taken away because my parents made a few mistakes along the way.

Some people are too far gone and dangerous. But some people will do better when they know better. I think the latter deserves a chance to learn. But I guess it's tricky to determine which is which so they implement blanket rules.

A parent occasionally slapping their defenseless child is still abuse. How is it any different from a husband occasionally slapping his defenseless wife? Just because childhood spanking personally left no lasting impact on you does not make it okay.

I do agree most Immigrant parents aren’t aware which is why their kids (you and I) should know better and not justify it. They grew up being spanked for silly mistakes so they end up doing the same to their kids. Someone has to break the cycle. Yes, people deserve to learn before being penalized but you knew about it. You have always been progressive in your thoughts and world view. If, you of all people on here hold this view, what hope exists for others? What makes you assert you would rather get slapped than pose with guns? They are both wrong, why chose either? Published research aside, even anecdotally, I have seen the damage it does. I work in mental health. I have seen countless lives of teenagers and young adults being destroyed because of emotional/physical violence at home by parent and/or relative when they were young and defenseless. A slap is never just a slap. You never know what kind of emotional damage it does to the child.

Originally posted by: Supari_khala

A parent occasionally slapping their defenseless child is still abuse. How is it any different from a husband occasionally slapping his defenseless wife? Just because childhood spanking personally left no lasting impact on you does not make it okay.

But where am I saying it is OK? I have reiterated multiple times that spanking a child is unequivocally wrong.

Originally posted by: Supari_khala

I do agree most Immigrant parents aren’t aware which is why their kids (you and I) should know better and not justify it. They grew up being spanked for silly mistakes so they end up doing the same to their kids. Someone has to break the cycle. Yes, people deserve to learn before being penalized but you knew about it. You have always been progressive in your thoughts and world view. If, you of all people on here hold this view, what hope exists for others? What makes you assert you would rather get slapped than pose with guns? They are both wrong, why chose either? Published research aside, even anecdotally, I have seen the damage it does. I work in mental health. I have seen countless lives of teenagers and young adults being destroyed because of emotional/physical violence at home by parent and/or relative when they were young and defenseless. A slap is never just a slap. You never know what kind of emotional damage it does to the child.

You and I know better because we have lived in the United States for a very long time. We have the privilege of being educated and exposed to facts about healthy parenting.

But thousands of people don't know better. They grew up with poor parenting. They have never had the opportunity to learn what you and I know about the trauma of abuse. They are unaware that children can be taught to listen without raising their hand or voice. If we genuinely care about well-being and want to break the cycle of abuse, we have to make parenting education accessible.

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If you work in mental health, you probably are aware of foster care statistics as well. There is a significantly high rate of abuse in foster care systems too. Black, Native American, and immigrant children comprise a disproportionate number of children in foster care, highlighting racial discrimination and prejudices in the process. There is an awful history of white saviors breaking up families in the name of protecting children.

https://youth.gov/youth-briefs/foster-care-youth-brief

https://www.aecf.org/blog/child-welfare-and-foster-care-statistics

Even CPS and the government have prioritized reunification because data shows children with their families do better that children in foster care.

https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/permanency/reunification/

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The way I see it.

Hitting a child = Abusive evil

Foster system = Broken and corrupt institution = Institutional evil

Unfortunately, we don't have a choice between good and evil. As a society, we must choose which is the lesser evil in the long run.

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Gun violence vs. slapping was an ill-conceived analogy on my part. I'm just angry that guns can kill; despite all the gun deaths, they are everywhere.

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I grew up in India, where corporal punishment was legal and prolific. I have been hit and punished by my school teachers way more than my parents. So many people I know are traumatized and haunted by it. Sometimes, I think about how I would want retribution for the hurt. But barring two whom I consider evil, violent sadists, I forgive most of them. In fact, for most, I don't want retribution but reconciliation where they can see where they were wrong. For the sadists, I want them to grovel for forgiveness for eternity.

This is just one person's anecdote that has no statistical value. But all abuse is not the same. Who, what, how, why, when, how often, and to whom matters. Context matters. A person who makes a mistake should never be lumped with someone who willingly and intentionally causes harm to others.