EDT - episode #3 and #4 - Dec 7 and 8, 2022

friends, I am randomly creating EDT thread. if there is a format to do them, please mods correct. til then, please use these threads. 

Arre arre i just made a post. 

I am gonna delete it now. Wait..

We should have one EDT thread.

First one to comment. 😃

Loved the episode.

It was an emotional episode.

Katha had such a beautiful life with her husband. Thank God she is not like the typical ITV abla dukhihari FL. 

As expected her FIL refused to help her. We all know a mother can go to any extreme to save her kids. So her Boss's proposal will be her last option.  Oh no... it's gonna be very painful to watch that scene.

Originally posted by: Nabni_blr31

Arre arre i just made a post. 

I am gonna delete it now. Wait..

We should have one EDT thread.

yea, looks like we made it at the same time. not sure if there is delete option in IF though. it is okay. as long as forum is buzzing, we can discuss. :) just thought will go ahead and make EDT (though I have no idea what format it looks like) to get the ball rolling. 

Originally posted by: Nabni_blr31

First one to comment. 😃

Loved the episode.

It was an emotional episode.

Katha had such a beautiful life with her husband. Thank God she is not like the typical ITV abla dukhihari FL. 

As expected her FIL refused to help her. We all know a mother can go to any extreme to save her kids. So her Boss's proposal will be her last option.  Oh no... it's gonna be very painful to watch that scene.

isn't it nice they show that all marriages are not unhappy?! my aunt keeps complaining that in all the serials, everyone just fights. not sure who would want to get married based on what ITV shows. 🤣

the confrontation with the father-in-law was difficult to watch. how can someone be so coldhearted that they are still angry and egoistic. a life is in the balance and it is his own grandchild. she is not even asking for a freebie but for a loan -- she is even promising to pay it back little by little. but he is so stuck in his anger that he won't even give a paisa. 

the mother-in-law looks sympathetic and nice but it is clear that she has no voice or power... and this is why women need their own bank account - to make emergency calls on their own. 

mili -- was wondering whether to respond to your post here or in my essay post. since we are trying to do EDT threads, thought I will just write it here.

so the lady making a pass at viaan was uncomfortable to watch. the actor does a great job of showing what it is like being a man in such a situation -- meaning you can tell that he notices her but at the same time, is angry and feels cornered. she is beautiful but what exactly is she offering here? how far does her '1 on 1' imply? 

what I found interesting is how ishaan the friend responds. initially he thinks it is funny -- why not have fun? -- is the attitude but then realizes how uncomfortable and angry viaan is. instead of taking it seriously in some ways, he sees viaan's reaction as result of his father's death anniversary. 

either way, this lady making a pass will affect how viaan reacts to katha later - * spoiler alert* .... have more thoughts but need to organize in my head before kicking off a serious discussion... 

Exactly... How can anybody be so cold hearted?😡 Initially they could not accept her, I get it. But 8yrs later Common ur son was so happy with her, you hv a grandchild also. In these 8yrs she never came for any help, even after her husband's death. This is enough to judge her. Also as you said she is not asking for Freebie, but for a loan..😭

You know i hv a question in my mind. Instead of Katha, if their son comes for help,kya tab bhi woh log help karne se mana kar dete. 

One of my cousin ran away and married to a guy just few days before her marriage. it's been more than 15 yrs now. My family has not accepted her yet. I hv never seen her in any family functions even though she lives in the same city. I guess our society is like this. Girls ko judge karna,punish karna easy hei i think.😕

see I can understand that you are so angry that you don't want to have any relationship with them. but katha is not asking to be included in the family in any way. she is asking for a loan. if we can help random people in times of need by doing charity, why not think of it in those terms and give her some money to help -- the FIL is all about ego. his son defied him and decided to lead his own life. so he blames katha for seducing him and defying him. it is clear there will be no reconciliation. but not even charity? that was mind boggling. 

but yea, like you shared, guess such family dynamics exist in real life as well. it is not just in dramas. 

so trying to organize my thoughts here -- especially when I know what is coming up ahead. I wasn't sure where to post this but decided to post it here -- in reaction to the lady making a pass at viaan.

now it may seem confusing considering the upcoming actions of viaan. also he seems to have to a good relationship with his mom. so why does he judge women this way? or is he specifically prejudiced against certain type of women -- personality or working women? viaan is going to be complex and there may not be cut and dried answer. 

lot of how we react to viaan will depend on our values, thoughts and approach to life. some of us are more conservative while others not as much. I don't want to say 'modern' because hooking up has always existed. so it seems silly to use that word to describe a no-holds physical relationship. instead, I will use the word my elders used -- 'fast lifestyle'. 

much as we like to pretend that we are all super sanskari, our society is made up of all sorts of people who can be leading very different lives than what is defined as 'sanskari'. 

much of the 'fast lifestyle' is not something that is necessarily talked about openly. however, it is not new and happened in different ways even in my parents generation. 

depending on where we are, we can have different reactions to this 'fast lifestyle'. I have heard stories from friends and colleagues who are much more open to hooking up. as I am rather conservative, some of the random anecodotes I heard really made my head spin -- 🤯😵😮 "does this actually happen in India?" 

there are plenty of people who have flings in office. these are not affairs but just flings - so no emotions or a relationship but purely a physical thing. 

in one incident, the two colleagues had a fling and we were all weirded out by the way these two acted -- with her giggles and his sheepish smiles. then, they both give out wedding invitations to other people and both their weddings are close to each other!! basically both were in long-term relationships but since it was long-distance, these two hooked up to have a fling prior to the wedding. then it was business as usual and on went the weddings. the rest of us in the team certainly gave the side eye and found both of them very strange.  there was plenty of gossip chatter. 

however, you hear of lot of such incidents in the workplace.

there are instances where both are married and have a physical fling. then when it goes south, one accuses the other of harassment. or there is a fling specifically for work advancement or other benefits. or they are just unhappy and have a fling for fun though neither want to break their marriage. 

then there are folks who are active on dating apps who are only looking to hook-up. have heard that some even use the matrimonial websites as a place to hook-up. I almost fell off my chair when I heard that there are some who go through arranged marriage model but insist on sleeping with their potential spouse first to ensure there is physical compatability. I was like "wait, what??????"  🤯😵😮

now, the clashes happen when you have different sets of values or when you start to want different things. so one of my friends has had a number of flings after her divorce. however, she does want to settle down but is not able to find someone. she does not fit the typical matrimonial website profile (as a divorcee) but she no longer wants to just have flings. one guy told her that he just wants to have a good time and is not looking for a relationship. for those who want a relationship first before progressing to marriage (especially after something like a divorce), the rules can also be difficult to figure out. 

back to our drama, if the girl had made a pass at ishaan instead of viaan, he may have thought "lets have fun". now how it would have played out may have been different. did she pick viaan because he is the boss? or was she truly interested in him? was it because she wants advancement? then, her fling is not really a fling but something that comes with terms and conditions -- something transactional. now if two people are buying and selling of their own choice, then how do we view this? is it okay to express romantic interest in the office? at what point does interest become harassment? when is it is sleazy and when is it fun/romantic? 

we live in times where there are no set rules for courtship (conservative or not-so-conservative) or relationships. sometimes people know what they want and sometimes people don't. so what is sleazy to one is not necessarily to another. however, it all becomes more complicated when emotions come to fore. someone could indicate a genuine interest but it can also be taken the wrong way as just a pass. people can be judged and seen as emotionless, characterless etc etc, even when they may be looking for a genuine relationship as well. some people have the wrong impression that people of a certain class or personality are more sanskari than other.  

I sound like a jumble and in some ways, I am. I guess what I am trying to say is that how we react to the scenarios in this drama will also depend on where we are. there won't be clear answers -- there are going to be sparks in this forum!