[Member Topic] How u deal with bullies, dominating & two-faced people - Page 4

I had to deal with a very toxic and manipulative person in my team once at workplace. HR and manager overlooked his toxicity. I was in a very bad place and the only way I could deal with it was remove myself from the situation by quitting the job. There was no tactful way of dealing with that person.  I don’t know if I have to do it again if I could deal with that person better. That thought scares me to be stuck in a situation like that again. Sometimes you are really stuck with no choice at hand  and all this advice is of no help.

Ignore the bullies like i ignore the bullies here srk stans.

I ignore them. Ignorance is a bliss 👍🏼. You should also do it .

Can speak of what I have witnessed and realised over time. I feel that being a bit decisive and confident is literally half the battle won. This works in almost all the phases, in school, college or workspace. That confidence also comes from being well aware of the things you do, learn or practice. If at school or college, you need not be the top scorer but if you have good grasp of what you study or are half decent at the sport you play (or any other activity for that matter),  it just transforms your personality and people will draw the lines themselves. At work too, nobody is irreplaceable but your skills will make people want to retain you or learn from you. So big or small, trying to be good at what you do gives you both confidence and power to be decisive which is a boon. It is just that, people around you will automatically realise that there is only so much they can pester you, if they cross those lines, either you won't pay heed or won't take it lying. For all the other nuisances that are disguised in sweetness, recognising them and maintaining strict boundaries with them helps immensely. 

Originally posted by: TheekThaak

Can speak of what I have witnessed and realised over time. I feel that being a bit decisive and confident is literally half the battle won. This works in almost all the phases, in school, college or workspace. That confidence also comes from being well aware of the things you do, learn or practice. If at school or college, you need not be the top scorer but if you have good grasp of what you study or are half decent at the sport you play (or any other activity for that matter),  it just transforms your personality and people will draw the lines themselves. At work too, nobody is irreplaceable but your skills will make people want to retain you or learn from you. So big or small, trying to be good at what you do gives you both confidence and power to be decisive which is a boon. It is just that, people around you will automatically realise that there is only so much they can pester you, if they cross those lines, either you won't pay heed or won't take it lying. For all the other nuisances that are disguised in sweetness, recognising them and maintaining strict boundaries with them helps immensely. 

Thank you so much for the good and practical suggestions 👍🏼

Agree people appreciate skills (soft & hard both) more and hardly anyone pays attention to someone's heart or soul, most like to crush it infect. Hard world needs hard skin 😊

I suffered from extreme bullying, harassment and racism in my school, college and even at work places. If you had asked me this question five years back I would have ran away. I used to be a socially awkward girl.

Things changed with me for therapy. Now-days I simply reply them in their own language. Life made me strong enough with constant backstabbing and lack of support when needed. I have learned to attack at their worst weakness. You need to destroy their support system whether friends or family. Remember if that person has gone from way too much hardships and seen enough failures, they know to walk alone. They will finish you forever.

Please no one should not give me the stupid line eye for eye makes the world blind. When you make someones life hell anywhere, you will receive the poison.

Originally posted by: TheekThaak

Can speak of what I have witnessed and realised over time. I feel that being a bit decisive and confident is literally half the battle won. This works in almost all the phases, in school, college or workspace. That confidence also comes from being well aware of the things you do, learn or practice. If at school or college, you need not be the top scorer but if you have good grasp of what you study or are half decent at the sport you play (or any other activity for that matter),  it just transforms your personality and people will draw the lines themselves. At work too, nobody is irreplaceable but your skills will make people want to retain you or learn from you. So big or small, trying to be good at what you do gives you both confidence and power to be decisive which is a boon. It is just that, people around you will automatically realise that there is only so much they can pester you, if they cross those lines, either you won't pay heed or won't take it lying. For all the other nuisances that are disguised in sweetness, recognising them and maintaining strict boundaries with them helps immensely. 

You are replaceable at work with whatever skills you have.

The moment you are incapable of working due to bad health or worst case death, hiring for your replacement starts.

So do not make your work skills as only source of confidence. 

Do not have such arrogance about your work. People are replaced easily.

Originally posted by: Basskarrr

I had to deal with a very toxic and manipulative person in my team once at workplace. HR and manager overlooked his toxicity. I was in a very bad place and the only way I could deal with it was remove myself from the situation by quitting the job. There was no tactful way of dealing with that person.  I don’t know if I have to do it again if I could deal with that person better. That thought scares me to be stuck in a situation like that again. Sometimes you are really stuck with no choice at hand  and all this advice is of no help.

Most toxic people at any work place, social event and in family have a support group. This group gives them power and support they need. You need to destroy this unity first. I used to run away from problems,now I deal with and now problems run away from me.

Originally posted by: Newbird

I would remove myself from such place. 

Kitna bhagoge.

Life ko face karna seekho.

Originally posted by: colossial2015

You are replaceable at work with whatever skills you have.

The moment you are incapable of working due to bad health or worst case death, hiring for your replacement starts.

So do not make your work skills as only source of confidence. 

Do not have such arrogance about your work. People are replaced easily.

Only if you had read my post with a little less arrogance, you would have realised that I mentioned that nobody is irreplaceable, not otherwise. You don't like to source your confidence and stability from your knowledge and skill, not my problem. I do and for me that very knowledge is the source of power. It is not arrogance, it is sheer respect for skills people possess in general, in whatever amount. 

To add, nobody sources their confidence from one channel, everybody has multiple, some spiritual, some not. Here I merely mentioned one of the ways which has worked in my journey.