Compromises
The word has a negative connotation to it and definitely does not list up in our favourites. Yet, we all agree that it is an integral part of our lives and something as unwelcome or painful it may be, still makes us give in to it for the sake of our relationships…..willingly!
What is it about compromises, that makes it an evil even when it is a strong pillar of any relationship?
Primarily, when it is mostly one person who is making the compromises and sacrifices to make it work. Secondly, when the compromises made are not worth the person, the relationship.
A lot of us here agree that V is not worth Sai. “Langoor he haath angoor lag gaya”.
Agree that “This is what it is, and we will have to make do with that”.
We want V and the family to know the truth, regret & repent on their actions. And want a long apology track where Sai holds her fort high. Why?
Yes, because they deserve it. They should finally see the truth and suffer for their mistakes. Karma should do justice for their acts. We want it for Sai.
BUT…..
After the long apology we want Sai to accept him. Why? Because even when V seeks her forgiveness she will still be hurting.
But most importantly, her happiness lies in him. We want to see, Sai to happy. Fortunately or unfortunately, her happiness lies in V…….
Because he is her love, her only love.
Which brings me to the next part of it. Is the love one holds only in his heart enough for the other to sacrifice everything and make compromises at every step, when their own self-respect and pride, their happiness and wishes and squashed at every step.
I agree that V loves Sai, and only Sai. All these years he has maintained celibacy. Nothing has made him let go of his love for her. Even in his anger he holds the love for her. But is the love that tortures her for his heart seeking satisfaction a fair love?
Birds push their lil ones out of the nests. Does that mean they don’t love them? Nope. They do. But the parent here is only wanting the lil one to abandon the fear and learn to fly. To be independent. Does that make them any less of a parent or their love selfish? No. It doesn’t. Because they are seeking the best for their children. So there is Love, there is sacrifice, there is compromise…. but there is the well being and happiness of the other. I know I’m comparing a parental love with spousal. But it is love in general I’m trying to delve into.
What we see lacking here is Sai’s happiness is not in V’s thought. He is hurting her, looking for signs. But for whom? For himself. It is just him and his pain. His love …his unrequited love.
And for that he will go to any lengths.
How will someone like him differentiate a piece of broken mirror from a diamond. He lacks the eye for it. Remember when he told P that he is glad that Sai came into his life instead of her. All this while he always kept P at a pedestal. His only disconnect was that she did not let go of her feelings for him and kept bringing it up. He realized that Sai was good for him, and P wasn’t as she caused him harm directly/indirectly. So the parameter of gauging the goodness is limited to him and his family. Sai was good to him and did so much fvor family. So she is good.
That is the where the value and worth for her is derived from.
I know this is an arguable statement. But I will explain my justification around why I made it.
V has praised Sai for her selflessness. Keeping others above her and being so strong and level headed. Being practical and fair in her approach.
It comes from V’s lack of understanding of Sai. But if he really understood Sai, will he doubt Sai’s intentions? Will he believe that she would harm or manipulate a child. Would he believe that Sai will go to such length to take revenge on him and family by playing with the sentiments of a child? Does he really believe her to be so petty like his family, who can use and abuse a child for grudge against her mother?
He has claimed that he will not allow Sai into his life again. But never has he defended her in front of his family. Every time they accused her of having ill-intentions he has never countered it. Is that how much he knows Sai?
Just like P, Sai is he wants to possess, to have for himself. Means may be different but that is what they want. He wants her only because he loves her. He wants her to love him back and since she is not reciprocating he will continue to hurt her. Just like he did after their first anniversary. He is solely functioning on his love….only his love.
Is this kind of love enough? Is the happiness worth the suffering that comes with living with someone like V? Is his love for Sai, good enough for her? Compromise is needed in every relationship, and there is no denying that. But an overdose of even the best of things in life is harmful…and here we are talking about compromises. So how much of it is subjective. It can differ for each based on the individuals, circumstances, relationships etc. Yet there is always threshold. Who defines that? Us. But it is all about our judgment of that threshold that makes it right or wrong. There has to be so much that one should be willing to sacrifice and compromise in the name of love. Love is important, but the compromises it comes with should not depreciate the value the that love itself!
Cricket
Udne Ki Aasha
Veer Hanuman
Anupamaa
