Very unpopular opinion...

I agree that what Pakhi and Toshu said was very rude, but does anyone feel like they are making it out to be bigger than it is? For instance, what Toshu said about Anupama being characterless was much worse, and I would have understood if Anupama had disowned Toshu over that instead. What Paakhi said, was not nice but what did she say that was unforgivable? But maybe I am a terrible child but I have lost my temper and said not so nice things to my mom. She has slapped me or given me silent treatment for a few days but never did she tell me she will never meet me again. I then apologied profusely.

Perhaps I don't feel as much sympathy for Anupama because I feel like she victimises herself way too much. She is not an abla nari like she claims. She has gone against the family time and time again to be with Anuj and marry him. I would expect a woman like that to stand up for herself. Instead, with her 2 minutes goodbye bashans I almost think she is trying to emotionally manipulate (maybe not consciously) her family.

By the way, Anuj basically implied that Pakhi is a gold digger by saying that her feelings for Adhik are contingent on his wealth. Pakhi has been very mature about this whole Adhik matter. How come no one is saying anything to Anuj about this?

Everyone keeps blaming Toshu for criticising Anupama for neglecting her dadi duties. But isn't she the one who claimed them to begin with? Toshu wanted to abort the kid but Vanraj and Anupama kept saying that they will be responsible for the kid's welfare. They said it so much so that Kinjal, in her fear over Toshu's apathy, clung onto it?

In the end, everyone will apologise to Anupama profusely and she will forgive everyone with a lot of mahanta, completely glossing over some of the legitimate points in what Toshu and Pakhi said. The fact is when Anupama got married to Anuj he became her family first and foremost, and now, choti Anu as well. Her children were no longer her immediate family. If I were her daughter, I would be so upset about the fact that she is somebody's wife more than my mother. I would hate it if Anuj or anybody else interfered between us.

Here, I feel that because of the love story between Anupama and Anuj, it seems to be taken for granted that Anuj is going to be her priority. Here, people would rage if Anupama claimed that she is Anuj's wife before choti Anu's mom. It is true that choti Anu is small and need more of Anupama's attention, but unfortunately, Asian families don't consider their children to be independent entities once they turn 18. I don't think it is the healthiest dynamic but that is how Anupama's 3 children have been brought up. You can't expect them to suddenly accept this transition in dynamic, they need to be given time and man Anupama has botched it.

This is not to say I think Toshu and Pakhi are right. They are wrong and Anupama should be angry with them until they understand their mistakes. But this is what I feel Anupama did wrong. And Anuj as well.

Please don't hate me haha. Just my opinion.

Did Anupama willingly tell Pakhi that she will not meet her? I can't remember. Did not Pakhi make it clear that she does not want to meet Anu and she regrets being her daughter. Anu was thrown out of the house by P and Baa. She herself did not leave the house.

Anupama promised Toshu that she will take care of his kid but did she ever promise that she will take care of the kid 24/7? She can take care of both lil Anu and her grandchild unless she has to become the primary caregiver for her grandchild.

About Anuj being Anupama's priority? Are we even watching the same show? He is nowhere in her priority list. She still spends more time with Shah's than Anuj.

Pakhi is not mature. A mature person does not start dating a guy few days after meeting him and start bunking classes to meet him. Pakhi likes Adhik for his money and it's very obvious. Pakhi accused Anu of being a gold digger so it's justified that Anuj accused her to be a gold digger going by her logic.

If my mom after facing abuse for 26 years finds a man who respects her and loves her, I would be over the moon if they decided to get married. I seriously can't relate to P and T here. Why are they so mad that their mom has found her happiness in her husband and adopted daughter? She has not abandoned them. Why can't they let her be happy for at least once in her life?

Also the entire point of the track is that Vanraj is exceedingly interested in ensuring that any conflicts do not get resolved for the sake of his own ego.

We ars glad that Anupamaa decided never to return but it was never her choice. Infact she was showing obstinacy at first and later literally begging to be allowed to stay. I am starting to wonder, is Anupamaa into BDSM?

Hence its highly unlikely that she would not have forgiven Pakhi if she apologized, even for the worse possible insults.

I am sure if Pakhi would have accused Anupamaa that she is not letting her meet Adhik because she prefers that Anu Jr. gets married to Adhik, because she loves Anu Jr. more and Adhik is the only eligible bachelor in the entire universe, probably Anupamaa would have still forgiven her for such a disgusting comment.

Even though she promised Anuj that she will not return to a place where he and Anu Jr. are repeatedly insulted, we could clearly see the glee and glimmer in her eyes when Anuj said she could visit for "emergencies"! Yeah Right!

So the point whether Pakhi and Toshu's insults were awful enough or not is really moot. The question here is will Anupamaa be able to expose or not, the fact that only Vanraj is the culprit here and the rest of the family is as saintly as they can be! 🤣

We will see mahaan Anupamaa make everyone fall in love with her all over again!!!! 🤢

I understand your pov and in a way what you said makes sense. The reason for anupama's children are like this is overprotective behaviour of their mom only. And anu being always present for them in every situation infact making them believe that she will always be there for them in slightest of their trouble is the root of the problem. So yes in a way children are just recating in a way they were taught, what they grew up believing.

But the problems here is the children are not any more young, teenagers. They have indeed grown up in age. Even pakhi is 20 now. By this time no matter how strong your upbringing is, you will develop your own thinking, own qualities and perception. So now anupama's expectations from them are not completely invalid. Even though children were not accustomed to their mother being an independent, opinionated woman and now having her separate family but still children cant deny to fight their own battles. They just cant now want to hide behind mummy's pallu. They are way more mature than it. And no matter whatever the situation is, they cant call their mother characterless, kalank etc. and then expect she will come to visit them again.

And also children's maturity here changes with their convenience. When pakhi talks about relationship with adhik she claim to be mature but when she abuses her mother she claims to be chhoti nadaan bachhi jisne galti se mumma ko bura bhala keh diya.

And anuj was very right about pakhi being gold digger. She met adhik in youth fest but that time she was just impressed by his looks. But her interest only developed further when he turned out to be a rich kapadia. Everytime barkha showered her with gifts pakhi just took it unashamedly. She was papa's pari till now but suddenly she even wanted to live with anupama just because she became rich. There is no doubt that pakhi loves wealth and wealthy people.

Similarly when toshu talks about taking responsibility of his baby then he suddenly becomes mature when he realize that its going to be tough job he suddenly becomes immature.

Baa and bapuji talks of anupama's bidaai as their daughter but when things go wrong in their house they call anupama for every trivial thing and also blame her for everything.

So anupama may be at fault somewhere but largely its children and shah family's fault. They just dont have any right to abuse anupama in any way and they cant expect everytime for forgiveness.

Originally posted by: MOTHERHOOD

Did Anupama willingly tell Pakhi that she will not meet her? I can't remember. Did not Pakhi make it clear that she does not want to meet Anu and she regrets being her daughter. Anu was thrown out of the house by P and Baa. She herself did not leave the house.

Anupama promised Toshu that she will take care of his kid but did she ever promise that she will take care of the kid 24/7? She can take care of both lil Anu and her grandchild unless she has to become the primary caregiver for her grandchild.

About Anuj being Anupama's priority? Are we even watching the same show? He is nowhere in her priority list. She still spends more time with Shah's than Anuj.

Pakhi is not mature. A mature person does not start dating a guy few days after meeting him and start bunking classes to meet him. Pakhi likes Adhik for his money and it's very obvious. Pakhi accused Anu of being a gold digger so it's justified that Anuj accused her to be a gold digger going by her logic.

If my mom after facing abuse for 26 years finds a man who respects her and loves her, I would be over the moon if they decided to get married. I seriously can't relate to P and T here. Why are they so mad that their mom has found her happiness in her husband and adopted daughter? She has not abandoned them. Why can't they let her happy for at least once in her life?

Exactly this. I don't see a reason why Anupama is framed to be at fault . No, she is not. Mothers are also human being. We talk about giving space to the teenagers to let their heart out. Why don't we talk about giving the same space to mothers. Mothers love their children. But they also have desires of their own. Sexual, romantic, career etc. Having desires does not rip them off from being the mother. I am also a teen. Mind you if my mother was at Anupama's place I would have supported her with all my heart. From marrying a person like Anuj to fostering a child. I would be hella supportive to her every desire. If after 26 years of emotional and mental abuse if my mother finds solace and comfort in a person like Anuj I would have gone an extra mile and told her to go for it, enough of your duties, priortise yourself, love yourself and go for it. I would not go about complaining that I am not her priority anymore. She would be still bound to the motherly duties and will go on fullfiling it till her last breath. But I will make sure that she doesnt stop prioritising herself while fullfiling her duties. Every mother does more than what the child deserves. Its about time we should start giving them the space and support so that she can focus on herself and her desires.

Originally posted by: Potato_couch

I agree that what Pakhi and Toshu said was very rude, but does anyone feel like they are making it out to be bigger than it is? For instance, what Toshu said about Anupama being characterless was much worse, and I would have understood if Anupama had disowned Toshu over that instead. What Paakhi said, was not nice but what did she say that was unforgivable? But maybe I am a terrible child but I have lost my temper and said not so nice things to my mom. She has slapped me or given me silent treatment for a few days but never did she tell me she will never meet me again. I then apologied profusely.

Perhaps I don't feel as much sympathy for Anupama because I feel like she victimises herself way too much. She is not an abla nari like she claims. She has gone against the family time and time again to be with Anuj and marry him. I would expect a woman like that to stand up for herself. Instead, with her 2 minutes goodbye bashans I almost think she is trying to emotionally manipulate (maybe not consciously) her family.

By the way, Anuj basically implied that Pakhi is a gold digger by saying that her feelings for Adhik are contingent on his wealth. Pakhi has been very mature about this whole Adhik matter. How come no one is saying anything to Anuj about this?

How is bunking classes to go out with a boy you hardly know mature? Also when no elder supports this? How is sending a guy to get your clothes mature? That's not mature..that's rebellious..and its totally normal at this age...she is in college, she has this new found freedom that you don't get in schools..so she's trying to enjoy that freedom but she is not being responsible at all..

Everyone keeps blaming Toshu for criticising Anupama for neglecting her dadi duties. But isn't she the one who claimed them to begin with? Toshu wanted to abort the kid but Vanraj and Anupama kept saying that they will be responsible for the kid's welfare. They said it so much so that Kinjal, in her fear over Toshu's apathy, clung onto it?

So if Toshu gets his wife pregnant, they should just abort it? Abortion is not a joke..the fetus is part of a mother's body...I understand getting scared in pregnancy is totally normal..its a new experience, it comes with roller coaster of emotions..and jobs don't come with a guarantee that now your job is safe, you can plan kids now...They are showing that if you are mature enough for a responsibility like a child, you should face it not just run from it with abortion.

In the end, everyone will apologise to Anupama profusely and she will forgive everyone with a lot of mahanta, completely glossing over some of the legitimate points in what Toshu and Pakhi said.

This is true..and they hinted that when Anuj said she can go on "emergencies"

The fact is when Anupama got married to Anuj he became her family first and foremost, and now, choti Anu as well. Her children were no longer her immediate family. If I were her daughter, I would be so upset about the fact that she is somebody's wife more than my mother. I would hate it if Anuj or anybody else interfered between us.

True, Pakhi had to endure this twice; once with Vanraj and Kavya and secondly with Anupama and Anuj..divorce in a family creates mental tension thats why women endure it but don't leave their toxic marriages. And on top of that, she has to endure CA too so she feels left out but that doesnt mean she should talk to her mother like that.

Here, I feel that because of the love story between Anupama and Anuj, it seems to be taken for granted that Anuj is going to be her priority. Here, people would rage if Anupama claimed that she is Anuj's wife before choti Anu's mom. It is true that choti Anu is small and need more of Anupama's attention, but unfortunately, Asian families don't consider their children to be independent entities once they turn 18.

Not only that, children in Asian families are not independant unless they work and support the family. Pakhi is a college going student, has not worked a day on her life, Toshu doesn't have a stable job enough to support the family. Don't bring this thinking that children under 18 are slaves and they need independance.

I don't think it is the healthiest dynamic but that is how Anupama's 3 children have been brought up. You can't expect them to suddenly accept this transition in dynamic, they need to be given time and man Anupama has botched it.

Yes they need time, and Anupama is ready to give them time to accept Anupama's new family but just because she got married and is fostering a child soesn't make her less of a mother she was when Vanraj used to ill-treat her. This thinking that women cannot remarry but men can is the thinking they want to change...and whenever this will happen, people like Baa, Toshu, Vanraj, and Pakhi will be there to discourage women like Anupama.

This is not to say I think Toshu and Pakhi are right. They are wrong and Anupama should be angry with them until they understand their mistakes. But this is what I feel Anupama did wrong. And Anuj as well.

Please don't hate me haha. Just my opinion.

Also my opinion

Originally posted by: MOTHERHOOD

If my mom after facing abuse for 26 years finds a man who respects her and loves her, I would be over the moon if they decided to get married. I seriously can't relate to P and T here. Why are they so mad that their mom has found her happiness in her husband and adopted daughter? She has not abandoned them. Why can't they let her be happy for at least once in her life?

Exactly. This is the biggest problem with the characters of Pakhi and Paritosh. It is the reason why I couldn't connect with them. They don't have any basic idea or knowledge about divorce. They think that divorce is forbidden. Paritosh called his mother characterless while Pakhi called her mother homewrecker and calls she got into affair with rich guy post her divorce. I don't know how these two people reacted when Vanraj Kavya truth was exposed by Rakhi Dave as I haven't seen the episode (except Leela slapping Vanraj). In Tamil version, both these characters confronted their father left and right and supported the mother.

Pakhi and Toshu may have an axe to grind with Anupama but the frequency with which they throw tantrums Seema totally inappropriate for their age

Anupama had time again been stereotypes by Vanraj and Leela as to how she needs to think speak and act as a mom.

She was manipulated all the tme and no effort was made to correct Pakhi or Toshu when they passed off Kavya as their mom when it suited them.

Barka was instigating Pakhi to rebel against her parents. Pakhi gets carried away by appearances and Sara in fact is being used as a foil to show how you can take a stance when your parent is wrong though no consequence has emerged so far.

Pakhi calling Anupama as a home breaker was uncalled for.everytime Pakhi has ended in a mess due to her bad judgement it is Anupama who has had to remedy the situation.

Vanraj is all noise and no action.he has been the reigning champion of manipulation that is so craftily hidden as care. Toshu and Pakhi think offence is the best form of defence and their accusations are so hollow.

Jo pakhi aur toshu karte है apni maa ke sath use mental harrasment bullying or torture bullying in one word use domestic violence kehte है इन एयेस of law to maa bhale hi forgive but law ki nazar both pakhi toshu are criminal