Originally posted by: TheCoolDocSid
this requires a deep psyche dive, but I will shorten it and try to give a gist…
priya doesn’t just decide things for others, she abandons herself while making others comfortable( in her head, as in what she thinks that it must be comforting to the other person)
there are people who decide for others, like how meera decided for pri to leave km… like how Nandu decided for ram’s marriage to let pri go later… these decisions for others is different, it is making the other person do things with/without their rationale involved.
Self abandon is someone else decided something and makes her see they are comfortable that way… she will do things at the cost of her own rights/comfort/love/ even her own life to give them that… Similar to Ram.
I don’t know if you remember our discussions previously regarding maternal attachment types affecting both ram and pri … that pri has somewhat secure kind of attachment, while ram has insecure kind of attachment…
But maternal attachment is more than that…
As babies we are primed to look for and notice how our Mothers are feeling. We learn to scan her facial expression, tone of voice, eye contact from a very young age. It’s part of our survival mechanism (“if Mum is ok then I’m ok”) . That is why they say “A child needs a Happy Mom” not just any mom!
Now, pri is trying to give that stability to Pihu emotionally and temperamentally and making her conscientious self to seek for her own self and making her own self respect a priority.
Now, compare it to Pri herself, or even Ram… and their attachment with their moms:
if Mother communicated consistently that she wasn’t ok at some fundamental level, it takes it’s toll. If child got the sense that she somehow needed to be looked after, that she needed advice, that her self-esteem was often low, that she struggled to establish and use support, that she couldn’t quite care for herself. All of this is alarming to children (even those that seem ‘resilient’)
The impact is often that you learn to self-abandon. That kid becomes used to focusing on Mother’s needs instead of its own.
That kid then get used to ensuring the people around him/her are ok, before checking in with themselves.
That they settle into a pattern of disconnecting from themselves to make more room for other people.
So, Ram and Pri not prioritising eo/themselves/ their own damn relationship … is not a surprise and the fact that they didn’t sit to decipher what is what together, and let their families make and take advantage of their self abandonment issues….
And it resulted in their biggest, cruelest, rather irrevocable hit on each other’s support systems that they have become to eo in the short amount of time they spent together.
‘Family keliye’ Aad me, they both forgot that they are eo’s Family first.🤷♀️
Hi Doc, I found the post 🤗
Do let me know if my MBTI analysis of Ram and Priya make any sense to you.
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/5292389?pn=102#161243634
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