Aik Sitam Aur(Thread 6) Usama Khan, Anmol Baloch ( ARY Digital ) - Page 83

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

'what is love?" is one of the greatest mysteries. in some cases, people fall in love out of gratitude (like ushna feeling how shehroze stood by her side and offered her support) but in others gratitude does not mean the person can love and feels only a friendship (like how ushna initially felt about sufiyan).

I used to think that these stalkers like sufiyan who claim love are liars. after all, how can they truly love the person if they want to hurt them? maybe because I watched too many crime documentaries, I have come to feel that love can also be a negative toxic emotion in the hands of some. it can make people go down a crazy path because for them, love is a possession and when the object of their love walk out or reject them, they take violent steps...

Exactly, it also depends on how people interpret it. For some it is obsession,for some it is sacrifice, for some it is trust and acceptance, for some it is feeling jealousy , for some it is gratitude, for some it is support. It is difficult to crack it.

Amazing comments raised both by Renee and Mango. Apologies ladies due to my limited status I thought to respond to both to you here. That way I am adding all the points. Until my account gets reinstated, I guess I will need to compromise and it’s not my strongest suit 😂😂

I think deal breaker depends on each person. For some it’s love, others security, others respect. I recall one of my mum’s friend found out her husband cheated on her and got that other woman pregnant and said to his wife that he will not divorce her but that other woman is his de-facto partner. She was so casual about it I was very surprised that how can you allow yourself to be in that relationship where there is no love or respect. She said I grew up very poor and lived in a trailer park and all I want is a home, money to live very well, and a status and this man gives me all three. He can take his love and shove it where the sun don’t shine I don’t care. So I asked but didn’t you love him when you married him and she goes maybe for a month but I knew he cheats so I went into this with my eyes open. I don’t want to work and he will fight me tooth and nail for alimony so that’s a no too. This works and I will go find me a man too. I was shocked and disgusted to be honest.

When I met my husband there was one thing for me- a marriage similar to what I saw my parents had. My criteria is respect - that’s my deal breaker. But if he were to cheat then I know he doesn’t respect me or my love so I am out, if he gets abusive that means no respect for me and I bail. With my ex he told me he was attracted to another and he finds if he continues being with me he may cross that line and he respects me enough to not do that. We broke up and he is still a good friend. I respect that - tell me straight up and we good otherwise I will kick you out the door and take you to the cleaners and then I will take your respect too. But I have the financial security and a great support system who will have my back when I do all this. For some, that may not be the case.

Here I think zainab is stressed maybe because she doesn’t want to be a failure. Why I say that because her relationship with her brother only mended when she decided to defy wheelchair bandit and her brother had an attack. Romeo is her nephew one she probably saw growing up and that’s another love. Ushna her non biological child but she cared for her like anything so that proves that zainab when in love loves dearly. I think she cares for Wahab but it’s not love. She is too unaffected when he takes that bandits side.

I think for her the deal breaker is Ushna. The minute she realises Ushna’s marriage is going south that’s when she will give in to save Ushna’s marriage. Then Wahab whilst she may miss him he will take second place. Same with Ushna she loves Shehroz but her mother is her deal breaker. She is tolerating because I think she doesn’t think the issues can’t be fixed. To her she knows it’s her blood that’s bothering that blood sucking leech who thinks she is unworthy but she also knows she has her husband’s and mothers support. The minute she feels her mum’s place is not that secure and her leaving will make it better she will go too.

On another point, I noted that in PTV, they don’t show many self respecting characters that leave when that is affected. I guess everyone is different otherwise why would anyone want a silly hamza or the before or even after Shehroz? Drama wise it’s okay but I saw posts saying I want hamza and I thought whaaaaa - that guy is nice but that’s it nothing special 😂😂

For me love is respect as we were raised to respect ourselves and with that love will follow. If you can’t respect me enough to be loyal, kind, gentle, caring then you are not worthy of my love and you can leave. I will grieve the time spent but I will move on. Like Gloria Gaynor said “I will survive “ that’s my theory lol 😂

For my mothers friend love was irrelevant, and so was respect to her security mattered. For my friends cheating is deal breakers and for some it’s lying. So it depends and I think as you mature you have better understanding. Poor Shehroz or Ushna has nothing to compare whereas zainab had her first husband who was amazing.

So here I think one love needs a lot of growing up to do and another is more of a caring cold (like not hot) relationship.

@Renee @Mango @spnfan

Thank you Vibha❤️

I am so angry at India Forums , wish we get to interact with your original ID 😭

I agree with you Vibha. No one in sane mind will want a Hamza and Shehroz. If we see both the conditions, the two girls did not have any option. Well , even in real life, for girls ,choosing partners is not very much about their choices but their conditions. And i feel, these two stories show very much reflection of society. If a girl comes from a poor family and is financially independent, it is difficult for her to go with her choices , she mostly accepts what is given in that situation. Hala was kicked out from the house, she was ditched by Khurram, she did not have any option apart from marrying Hamza who was a nice guy then.

In our case, Ushna was in a much better situation, she was strong, educated and confident. But because her uncles and Sufiyan were hell bent after her, Zainab had to choose worst from the best , she chose Shehroz as she did see Naima and Wahab as nice people then and Shehroz a caring son for his mom. Ushna never wanted to marry Shehroz and that is why she had to ask another bad option Sufiyan to marry her. In both the cases,girls did not want to marry but their situation forced to.

Zunaisha had the option so she walked off like any of us would have done.

Edit :i thought i quoted Vibha and did not tag her , i cant retag people. 😒

Originally posted by: Renee.Clare

Thank you Vibha❤️

I am so angry at India Forums , wish we get to interact with your original ID 😭

I agree with you Vibha. No one in sane mind will want a Hamza and Shehroz. If we see both the conditions, the two girls did not have any option. Well , even in real life, for girls ,choosing partners is not very much about their choices but their conditions. And i feel, these two stories show very much reflection of society. If a girl comes from a poor family and is financially independent, it is difficult for her to go with her choices , she mostly accepts what is given in that situation. Hala was kicked out from the house, she was ditched by her Khurram, she did not have any option apart from marrying Hamza who was a nice guy then.

In our case, Ushna was in a much better situation, she was strong, educated and confident. But because her uncles and Sufiyan were hell bent after her, Zainab had to choose worst from the best , she chose Shehroz as she did see Naima and Wahab as nice people then and Shehroz a caring son for his mom. Ushna never wanted to marry Shehroz and that is why she had to ask another bad option Sufiyan to marry her. In both the cases,girls did not want to marry but their situation forced to.

Edit :i thought i quoted Vibha and did not tag her , i cant retag people. 😒

I am tagging you here vibha 😭😭

Adding Zunaisha had the option so she walked off like any of us would have done.

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

I was also thinking that wahab - zainab relationship is just of compromise and security. but given how upset zainab is enough to fall sick from stress, maybe she likes him a bit more than she lets on. maybe it is not this passionate all consuming love that she had for farooq but I think she loves wahab in a quieter compromise way where she would miss him if the marriage breaks. she is not just worried for ushna but also is worried for herself.

She's upset with the environment around her. It has nothing to do with Wahab specially. Nobody would be fine after the way she was looked down just because of a jewellery. On top of that, she can see the differences between Ushna and Shehroz because of that incident. She knows Naima is behind it, but she cannot call her out and keep apologising to the one who is the real trouble maker, that has made her depressed.

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

these women don't have financial independence. if they did, after a certain point of humiliation, they do walk out. there have been a few dramas where that happend. shukk was one drama where that happened. but yea, why arent there more dramas that show a woman can have self-respect too?

I think now zainab has the financial security as wahab give her a pretty good amount as hak meher and legally she has all right in that money. Morally i personal think it's awkward to take the money given by ex husband but then she don't have any other means and it's her right. She already did a big blunder by not taking her share from her brothers at the right time.

The only show where the FL (the good ones) left the marriage even after the husband's regret what they did to them were Gul e rana and koi chand rak. In the latter the FL was a doctor and also had family wealth. So she literally had no reason to take back her asshole of a husband. I think in Gul e rana they only separate and she goes her way but didn't divorce. They kind of kept it open with a chance that may be in the future they might be together.

vibha -- that is a great point about a family relationship being a dealbreaker. learned something new here as I never considered that before. 👏❤️

if farooq had been alive, zainab and ushna would have a regular relationship. ushna would have gotten married and made her own home eventually. but because farooq died and they had mistreatment at the brothers, zainab and ushna became survivors, comrades and a tight unit. then with the adoption fallout, it only strengthened the feelings of motherhood in zainab. she is adamant and very firm about her mamta and and her role as a mother. with ushna also, it has resolved her feelings towards zainab (and farooq) as parents and the bonds are very secure.

now here is my question -- why do see ushna-zainab as a healthy dealbreaker that we don't find any issue with? whereas with shehroze-naima, we see it as unhealthy?

Also ,while we are discussing about safety and security. I completely understand Zainab's concern for Ushna. No matter how much a girl is strong and educated, she is surrounded by vultures and evil eyes. I have heard so many educated girls committing suicide because of dowry , stalking ,harrassment. Well ,suicide is not an option but girls face dual responsibility and face a lot with no family support. Zainab did not want to move to Mukhtar's family but she had to because when Furqan's old boss came to marry Ushna, she realised it is better to be with a toxic family than to put her daughter in the eyes of evil strangers. Zainab chose shehroz mainly because she saw him as a protector of Ushna from both evil eyes and her toxic relations. So her deal break for Ushna was most probably safety and financial security for Ushna.

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

vibha -- that is a great point about a family relationship being a dealbreaker. learned something new here as I never considered that before. 👏❤️

if farooq had been alive, zainab and ushna would have a regular relationship. ushna would have gotten married and made her own home eventually. but because farooq died and they had mistreatment at the brothers, zainab and ushna became survivors, comrades and a tight unit. then with the adoption fallout, it only strengthened the feelings of motherhood in zainab. she is adamant and very firm about her mamta and and her role as a mother. with ushna also, it has resolved her feelings towards zainab (and farooq) as parents and the bonds are very secure.

now here is my question -- why do see ushna-zainab as a healthy dealbreaker that we don't find any issue with? whereas with shehroze-naima, we see it as unhealthy?

Maybe because Zainab is a right person and Naima is not 🤣

I dont know, it is a good question though,we can think of..😆

Originally posted by: Renee.Clare

The reason why I am saying that Ushna and Zainab will easily forgive Shehroz as they find it natural for him trusting his mother. As both Zainab and Ushna have done the same, blindly trusting their blood relations. Zainab has been denied her rights in property, was kicked out from the house, still she defended Sufiyan and accepted their dinner invitation and even invited them in Ushroz rukhsati. Same with Ushna, she trusted Sufiyan time and again.

Both know, Naima is wrong but they also dont blame Shehroz for trusting her and siding with her as they feel, they might have done the same if at Shehroz's place . Even on the table, when Shehroz asked Ushna to apologize, she did not blame Shehroz instead she said, it is Naima because of which they are fighting. He says hurtful things but again Zainab sees that a part of his impulsive nature something like Ushna reacts at times ,and when she said hurtful things to her own mom during adoption fiasco. So even Ushna did not leave her mother when it came to saying hurtful things and disrespecting people.

So, it wont be difficult for them to forgive shehroz. Also ,Shehroz does have a plus point when he went against Naima for Ushna ,so it wont be difficult for him to get the trust and love back both from Ushna and Zainab.

As I said in some previous posts, Naima was completely right on saying ushna and shehroze are very similar. They both have blind trust on their mothers, both are temperamental and both fight with each other like cat and mouse.

It is Ushna's blind trust on zainab that she didn't even doubt that her mother can steal the jewellery even though the proof was right out there. So we cannot blame shehroze for blindly trusting Naima either. Also shehroze till now didn't had any reason not to trust Naima. He sees Naima s outburst with divorce as a one time thing and he things she did that purely because she wants the best for him.

If ushna can easily get manipulated by someone like sufiyan and go against zainab then shehroze getting manipulated by Naima is a cake walk. Both shehroze and ushna are capable of saying extremely hurtful and disrespectful things while being angry and not just shehroze. How can we forget that she told zainab she isn't a mother simply because she didnt give birth to ushna, called her a gold digger and she also blamed her for not telling about her biological mother. Then why are we expecting shehroze to not say disrespectful things to ushna. Their relationship isn't that old and they have always been extreme with each other while fighting. They both hit at each other where it hurts.

So unless shehroze dont physically hurt ushna or demean her to the lowest( not disrespect) he can easily be forgiven.