The parable of the wind and the sun - Page 3

Originally posted by: Prettywitty

Bahut mehnat se ek post likha tha but saare gif links toot gaye - Abhimanyu ke dil ki tarah💔

See I think fundamentally we don't disagree. AksharaSue is a boring Indian tv trope and I just ignore her (although I'm liking Pranali more and more) but her character has remained consistent. That's my main requirement from TV characters.

I also agree with you (bold). Akshara does that all the time, right? She's such a doormat I'm surprised she doesn't have shoe marks on her face. But Abhimanyu is not.

My issue is with how Abhimanyu is being developed and there's so much inconsistency in his portrayal that he's no longer a functional character. He was presented to us as a rich, tall, dark, handsome ubercompetent surgeon who is level-headed, sorted and secure in himself despite a dysfunctional family. He has developed a habit of meditation and prayer to center and calm himself. He prides himself on his straight talk, his ability to resolve problems, his dignified and honorable behavior (TAMEEZ), his protectiveness towards women from getting hurt or insulted because after all he himself has a sister and loves his MAA, his professionalism and ability to separate personal from workplace behavior. We have been told these are his values, his essential character traits. This is not a man who should have trouble controlling his anger or his emotions. This is the man Akshara fell in love with (heck who wouldn't??).

He would absolutely prioritize his well-being but he would not squander his dignity and core values like he's been doing. The original Abhimanyu would treat Akshara like he treats Arohi now - coldly polite but distant maybe even speak to her bluntly. I can see him tell her she can no longer call him Abhi.
And the way to move the story forward would be to have him do this consistently - it would completely jalao Akshara because we've seen she hates being ignored by him. What he would never do is pretend to be suddenly warm towards Arohi just to make Akshara jealous because that is not honest or chivalrous. And he would never deliberately try to cause Akshara pain - he said even an Ow from made him stop breathing! I wanted to see how that original Abhimanyu would evolve after falling in love but they turned him into a pile of anger and impulse which is completely contrary to his personality.

Now we could say he's come undone in love but if this is how much he's changed, he's no longer the man Akshara fell for. We have not even seen him feel guilty about how he's behaving towards Akshara.

Remember what Abhimanyu told Kairav when they first met - he said he also had a sister and would never behave inappropriately with any woman. I've said this before in another post but how do you think Abhimanyu would react to a man who was treating Nishtha the way he's treating Akshara? Aise aadmi ki toh woh bahut zor se pitai karega, na?

People might think I'm bashing Abhimanyu but I'm not - I'm just fed up with the bad writing that is idealizing toxic masculinity as romantic love and, on top of it, wasting our HC's talent.

Also I feel he has a lot of expectations from his better half. He said he wants the girl to make him the top most priority and "toot ke pyaar kare". Not everyone wants to give that kind of love. He seems way too possessive and dominating. I can see even after marriage he would want to have her all for himself without giving her space. I can see him interfering in her professional decisions also the way he is being shown.

Originally posted by: HahaHeheHuhu9

Mehanat Khali nahi gaya, I read the post with the what he did and what he should have done points 🤗😳

Aww you're so sweet! I had copied it to a note and I just restored it 🤗

Originally posted by: HahaHeheHuhu9

I read your post and yes there are so many character inconsistencies they're showing with Abhimanyu.

Just that the gifs didn't show up, but I agree with all those instances where you pointed out what he did versus what he should have done instead.

Ignoring Akshara and being coldly polite with her would have worked better. Or even an arranged marriage set up would have worked wonders for Abhira's love story.

I feel writers are over confident that they'll get TRP come what may. And are just showing whatever they fancy without putting in the thought and creativity needed to bring depth to the story and meaning to the plot.

Why did you edit it out? It was a very well-written analysis!

As for HC's characters and how Abhimanyu ranks among them, I would definitely say that character-wise, Abhimanyu is not among the top 3. Like Abhi is flawed which is fine, but they're romanticizing the flaws which is the problem. The office dance and bike grabbing are two things I wish weren't shown.

These acts are being romanticized by showing parallely that Abhi is the Prince charming. Akshara also seems to like this (why cling on to him on the bike ) which does send out a wrong message. That's the issue. I watch this show for HC but am old enough to know that "love" like this is dangerous but teenage girls may believe this is how fairy tale romance is (which it is not).

Fairy tale is what was shown on Tere Liye where he played Anurag, and to some extent Dharampatni where he played Mohan. Kis Desh and Saubhagyavati were great too, and his chemistry with the female leads in these 2 shows was crazy popular and the love story was adored so much.

Anurag-Taani's evergreen love story is remembered even today on Twitter in huge numbers. Anurag was always caring and compassionate towards Taani even when he thought she loved someone else. His love was unconditional and ITV created such idealistic and enviable characters those days.

Raghav was a feminist in Saubhagyavati who didn't think he needed to protect Siya from domestic violence. Rather he empowered her and motivated her to fight for herself. He truly believed in equality and in her ability to fight for herself.

Prem in Kis Desh was the epitome of perfection in everything, and the true Prince Charming. He was like the Ram of ITV in that show. Morally righteous, self-sacrificing character, but it wasn't irritating because Ekta Maata had such solid grounds for Prem to suffer 😆😆 He was the personification of "Prem" towards everyone, and not just towards Heer It was entertaining to follow their love story 😆 But kudrat, kainat and kismat always played foil for Prem and Heer, creating major troubles in their lives 😆

But Saubhagyavati and Kis Desh can get depressing at times with all the trials and tribulations faced by the lovers 🥺

Acting wise, HC is doing a wonderful job here and he's getting to portray a lot of emotions, dance, wear good clothes (which he wasn't given in Bepannaah), and do a prime time show on Star Plus with good TRPs. That way, it's great seeing him back and the way he plays Abhi makes me rationalize Abhi's character and he makes it believable once I decide I'll watch the episode for entertainment. 😆

Yrkkh makers are capable of doing a good job. Season 1 with Akshara and Naitik was written beautifully for the initial 3 years in all the bits and pieces I have seen.

HC has also played highly flawed characters before. Sahir from Humsafars was a very dark shade of grey character-wise, and the character did some morally questionable things. But that wasn't white washed and Sahir was presented as being this crazy hero 😆

Mohan was grey too, but his struggles were real issues dealing with generation gap and difference of opinion on life with his controlling grandfather. It was relatable. His love story with Kastur was sweet. She was dewani over him and very devoted to patidev despite his don't-care attitude 🤣

Aditya in Bepannaah was also seriously flawed but he was a man-child and the circumstances and plot allowed him to act crazy. Here the foundation behind why Abhimanyu is doing certain things is weak. That's the issue.

In summary, I am hoping Abhi's character gets written well going forward. Prem and Anurag were author-backed roles and were the true protaginists. Hoping Abhi reaches there!

See, I 100% agree with these points (bold) - we are basically on the same page with this.

And what a great analysis of all the HC characters - I feel like you (and SalutetheArmy) have a PhD in Harshad Chopda! I skimmed Kis Desh and Saubhagyavati and couldn't get into either. Humsafars was the first HC show I watched and I was blown away by him (well, mainly his looks I'll admit). Bepannah was when I realized how good an actor he is - he made the transition from pouty manchild to kinder wiser man very believable while keeping the core character entirely consistent. Sahir was a very dark character (self-flagellation, burning down factories, threatening to kill Arzoo's family if she didn't marry him, eating burnt toast - whoo... makes Abhi look like a boy scout🤣). I don't think I bought the backstory for Sahir but he was just such yummy eye candy I made three of my American friends watch Humsafars and all of them fell for him too - one of them got married recently to a Lebanese guy who kind of looks like HC and she brought that up at her bachelorette party😆 Anyway I also hope the writers pull this season together and take Abhi back to his roots (and also maybe give him slightly longer hair...).

Originally posted by: Prettywitty

See, I 100% agree with these points (bold) - we are basically on the same page with this.

And what a great analysis of all the HC characters - I feel like you (and SalutetheArmy) have a PhD in Harshad Chopda! I skimmed Kis Desh and Saubhagyavati and couldn't get into either. Humsafars was the first HC show I watched and I was blown away by him (well, mainly his looks I'll admit). Bepannah was when I realized how good an actor he is - he made the transition from pouty manchild to kinder wiser man very believable while keeping the core character entirely consistent. Sahir was a very dark character (self-flagellation, burning down factories, threatening to kill Arzoo's family if she didn't marry him, eating burnt toast - whoo... makes Abhi look like a boy scout🤣). I don't think I bought the backstory for Sahir but he was just such yummy eye candy I made three of my American friends watch Humsafars and all of them fell for him too - one of them got married recently to a Lebanese guy who kind of looks like HC and she brought that up at her bachelorette party😆 Anyway I also hope the writers pull this season together and take Abhi back to his roots (and also maybe give him slightly longer hair...).

So nice discussing about HC here with you! 😃

Such a cute anecdote about your friend's bachelorette party 😳 He's indeed very handsome and honestly that's what made me watch his shows in the very beginning And he puts in a lot of effort and is dedicated to his craft which is an added bonus! He's also grown a lot as an actor over the years which is wonderful.

Abhi is nowhere compared to Sahir 🤣 Sahir even used to wear so many black coloured suits to signify that he's a dark character 😈

Yeah, the writers need to make use of his talent and develop the story in reality, instead of giving pointless lollipop to viewers in the form of dream sequences With a meaningful plot, the show can get more TRPs since that's what they want 😆

I wish instead of shaving his beard, he grows it to keep a stubble! And they should stop giving him those tacky transparent shirts. Please dress him fully. He looks even better with clothes on 😎

Originally posted by: borntorule12

Also I feel he has a lot of expectations from his better half. He said he wants the girl to make him the top most priority and "toot ke pyaar kare". Not everyone wants to give that kind of love. He seems way too possessive and dominating. I can see even after marriage he would want to have her all for himself without giving her space. I can see him interfering in her professional decisions also the way he is being shown.

Very well said! I think that's the root of all the divisive opinions on this forum - some of us find that kind of love toxic and suffocating, some view it as a deep and enduring.

Yes, yes. Agree with everything you say 100% @prettywitty

The biggest argument is that Abhimanyu is flawed and not perfect. I have no issues he has flaws, I mean all of us have flaws. But wanting to hurt the person you claim to be in love with is not love. It remains just a flaw and not love. That's my problem. Romantcising infliction of hurt and pain in the name of love. So many women are stuck in abusive relationships because society has conditioned them to mistake toxicity in the name of love. Emotional abuse have been masked as love and a right of the lover for the longest time, but Abhimanyu also physically manhandles her. How do people see that as a mere flaw, I don't understand. 😒

And another argument is he is the most consistent. He is the least consistent like you rightly pointed out, I don't want to list down the same points. And that makes him a f**king hypocrite.

He is emotional but when did that begin to give people right to hurt others. Cry all you want, no problems. But that doesn't mean just because he cries, his tears washes away his toxicity. And crying on one's fate when one chose it and without doing anything about it and blaming it on others and expecting sympathy is the worst. People cry for different reasons, they cry for their personal issues, they cry for the world that is so broken, for those covid patients who died without access to oxygen, for those girls and children in Afghan who is pushed into starvation and hunger and sex work due to the Taliban crisis. I can keep going. There are infinite number of things in the world to cry and lose hope over. I mean I constantly go through compassionate fatigue that my pockets are going to be emptied by a mental health professional only. Depressed people cry not knowing what they are mourning, their own lost self maybe. 😔 Crying is never a problem.

But when Abhimanyu cries, I don't feel his pain or feel empathy for him especially because he is using it as a weapon to hurt the one he claims to love. When his decisions can stop himself from crying. When his problems are so easily solvable. Basically he is being an entitled privilege-blind cis het male who wants the entire world to revolve around him. 😒

I am definitely not one of those women who thinks if a man is being a jerk it's love. I hated damon and am stephen kinda girl.

The point is I don't see ak and Abhimanyu as female or male, just two humans who are flawed.

Yes, Abhimanyu did say he wanted to hurt ak cause he is hurt but he doesn't have a heart to, he is acting immature but I think he simply want to get a reaction out of her. Yes he did hurt her but most of us humans feel vindictive and we deliberately hurt the people we love if we are angry enough or want to get a reaction out of them, that they still care. It's not right obviously but that's how some people are. I don't support him because he's a male and it's ok for him to behave that way, ofcourse not. But I do believe we humans can behave horribly and still our hearts can be at the right place.

P.s. even ak unintentionally did some not so nice things but that's for another time.

Originally posted by: Nyxigniflex

I am definitely not one of those women who thinks if a man is being a jerk it's love. I hated damon and am stephen kinda girl.

The point is I don't see ak and Abhimanyu as female or male, just two humans who are flawed.

Yes, Abhimanyu did say he wanted to hurt ak cause he is hurt but he doesn't have a heart to, he is acting immature but I think he simply want to get a reaction out of her. Yes he did hurt her but most of us humans feel vindictive and we deliberately hurt the people we love if we are angry enough or want to get a reaction out of them, that they still care. It's not right obviously but that's how some people are. I don't support him because he's a male and it's ok for him to behave that way, ofcourse not. But I do believe we humans can behave horribly and still our hearts can be at the right place.

P.s. even ak unintentionally did some not so nice things but that's for another time.

I agree with a lot of things you say, but you seemed to take my calling him a cis-het male in a wrong way. My intention was only to call out how uber privileged he is. Not a comparison of male-female flaws. 😊

Yes he needs to learn a lot, a lot! It would be really interesting to watch. I like flawed characters as long as they don't try to justify them. Abhi is self centered, possessive but the guy don't realise. I can see he don't mean to that's why I defend him. Also the dominating part, they have very few normal interactions but ak is actually the dominating one in this relationship 😂

This tiny girl can make the lion do anything.🤣

Originally posted by: Prettywitty

Anyone remember this story about the bet between the wind and the sun about who could get a man's hat and coat off first? The wind blew and stormed, trying to tear these off the man - but that just made the man tighten his grip on his clothes and hold on to them harder. The sun instead shone as bright as possible and warmed the man till he took his hat and coat off himself.

It's the same situation with Abhimanyu and Akshara but Abhi is too stupid to understand. He was gentle and attentive to her on the trip when they met and in the couple of meetings after. That's why she responded to him by developing feelings because obviously she's not used to such caring and kindness, thanks to a lifetime of meanness from her sister and the obvious blind eye the rest of the Goenkas have turned on Arohi's bad behavior. It was his warmth that made her open herself up to him emotionally.

But Akshara is very used to dealing with being ignored and with anger and taunts - it hardens her resolve because that's how she's survived all these years. By hiding her pain behind a smile and carrying on as though nothing is wrong. Abhimanyu has not once (in a sober state) tried to approach Akshara with kindness and gentleness. Since the first tilak it's been all about haranguing and domineering behavior with him. So of course she's closing herself up against his blow hot, blow cold toxic behavior the only way she knows how.

Abhi needs some lessons from the psychology department at Birla hospital. Instead of trying to cause her pain, he could try treating her with the warmth and compassion that first attracted him to her.

What a beautiful way of explaining Akshara's method of coping. Absolutely love it ❤️

Regarding Abhi, I do agree that some of his actions are indeed problematic and troubling for those people who emulate everything they see. I do enjoy their angst scenes (it's my guilty pleasure okay) because i feel their chemistry comes out stronger but of course, I'm not going to deny that some of Abhi's behaviour is not ideal. In particular, I am pointing at the mandhalding scnes. Otherwise his other actions have been same as Akshara. For example, if he has told Akshara that she does not exist for him then she has also called him koi bhi. Haan both said things to rub salt on the wounds but they're both pretty much the same insult. If Akshara has defended Abhi, Abhi too has stood up for her when people like Harsh criticised her.

Abhi and Akshara are both flawed. If one is stubborn, the other is a pushover and demeans herself to such an extent that she ends up decieving people like Abhi. If Abhi mandhandles her then she also treats him like the most kimti cheez she can buy and throw away. This is why I am team Abhira and the only point I give to Abhi is that unlike Akshara, he does not know the full saga (he has tried to understand her POV but she does not wish to share). Even Akshara knows she has hurt him a lot but she is okay with it because "shadhi ke baad sab thik ho he jata hain".

They need to add patience to Abhi's stubbornness and they need to make Akshara less of a doormat because both are bad for the society. Right now Akshara is fulfilling Arohi's demands even though they have no head or tail. What if in the future Abhi demands her to do something out of her will and she agrees because she has given that right to him? That's not correct either. The makers are making Akshara a bechari because they know this formula works (is working) and when she has a breakdown, we will all cry because it will be touching but I'm tired of watching female leads being so mahaan that they forget their value and people emulate this too in expectation that good things will automatically happen to those who stay quiet to every wrongdoings happening around them. I hope Akshara is more than that.