ATTACHMENT AND DETACHMENT

We get attached to people, to things to ideas. Attachment ate the ties that hold us back. When we are attached out of love, care we fear for ourselves or our loved ones as letting go will create a void. We fear how we will face life without the loved one so we cling on. This clinging can cause stress.

We hold on to someone, something or some idea. As holding on to it increases our worth in the eyes of others.

For a person like Vanraj the fear or disgust he evokes in Anupama, defines who he is. It gives him a sense of victory and power. Watch his expressions when his words or actions hurt Anupama. You will notice a sense of achievement. He cannot evoke the same response in others. He feels empty, powerless without that. That feeling has become like an addiction to him. She is his defining factor. The vulnerable act as of now appears part of his mind game plot.

I'm going to use the image from a Buddhist monk to explain detachment.

NO MUD NO LOTUS

A lotus grows in muddy water and slush. That is the environment in which it thrives. Yet both the lotus and it's leaves never carry any trace of the mud or eater. It runs off.

Anupama has thus far had attachments that have held her back. The deceit of Vanya and the attitude of the other idiots became the muddy water.

Baa and Paritosh think that when a stone is pelted just as it settles in the mud maybe splashing some mud Anupama will settle in the slush of conditioning and societal pressure.

The lotus seed after dormancy blooms. It rises above the surface and the multi layered flower gradually unfold, the family thought the lotus seed was useless and settle to the ground. Instead it has empowered Anupama to gain inner strength and be empathetic. She is gradually unravelling her hidden potential. She unlike Vanraj is not in a dependency relation,

Be it sharing her business model or in facing the threat, she does not need the help of others. She just needs the time, space and opportunity to draw from the life lessons she has had the solution to her problems.