Is Saloni right in helping Shubra

I am sure we have issues in our families and our sisters/brother's with their respective In laws.

As much as you want your siblings to be happy but upto what extent would you go to help them? Would ypu go and confront your sister's MIL to talk about her husband's ( assumed) extra relationship?

Would you go and confront your sister's husband to start talking to his father he hasn't met in 20 some years.

Lets discuss what really happens in real life and how practical/feasible this all is.

I would confront my BIL if he beats up my sister or the In laws are pressing for dowry or they are giving my sister hell because she has not provided them a son ( you know, the issues which are directly effecting my sister and which are not her fault ) .

But I don't think, in right mind, even my parents would let me go and do what Saloni is trying to do

Kshitij was right is asking, why can't she leave the issue alone.

Just my 2 cents and would love to hear your wonderful opinions and feelings.

I think she was right as an older sister in my family. I feel it is your resposnibility to help your hurting sibling. She tried to be as gentle as she could be.
I know there is a line between right and wrong. But shubhra was trying to do right thing.

This is a family problem which shubhra is trying to reslove and unable to. So in India outsider step in when they are call in to reslove.
So I see no wrong in Sal to step in to help her sis resolve a family problem.

yes saloni is rite by helping her sister...but going 2 her sis in-laws house...i don't think so :(...saloni shuld help her sis not the "in-laws"...its my POV pls :)

Ok...I think saloni is right when she feels her sister's pain and wants to help her sister..... however there is a very fine line how far she should go.... but she can guide her sister beyond her limits but let her sister do the work..... saloni going to her sister's mother in law to speak to her about the problem is OK.... but going to solve the problem and take actions in her own hands is wrong.... she should tell her sister to go find out who that woman is and if its true and clear the air in her family.....

I have 2 younger sisters I would never in my right mind would go to their in laws and try to dig up long lost secretes..... if there is a problem my sisters know that I will always stand by them and guide them to solve their problems.... after all its their life.... if they cant handle their own problems one day they are going to have kids and how will they handle them and their problems?????

How is this a problem in 1st place? Shobra's in laws living this type of life for their life. How is Shobra in pain because of that? How is it Shobra's problem? If Kunjan's dad doing good thing by helping someone then whats big deal, its his problem he should open the secret with his wife and solve the problem not Saloni. No way.....I do not agree with this.

As a sister, Saloni is justified in feeling bad for Shubra. She would like to help her and bring about peace in her sister's family which is all very acceptable. But how one goes about it is the moot point here.

Saloni could have given help by not becoming directly involved, but being a sounding board for Shubra and helping her by advising her, or in any other way that would be appropriate.

But trying to take the issue in to her own hands and going in to talk to Shubra's mil about this..is, according to me, not the way. After all is said and done, nobody wants to discuss or wash one's dirty linen out in the public. Its a very sensitive issue, rgding, Shubra's in-laws, and the whole thing is not directly affecting Shubra (like she isn't being harassed, or ill-treated because of this...all Shubra wants is for her family to be one "hasta-khelta parivar" and come together by reconciling their issues..)

If the issue was, say something like, Kunjan being a drunkard or a womaniser, Salini is right in stepping in. Even, lets say, if Kunjan has a brother who has some issues, then as "someone who is elder", Saloni can talk and advise, but trying to talk to Shubra's m-i-l who is an elderly lady is stepping out of one's boundaries.

And, at the end of the day, like someone already mentioned in one of the posts, you have to fight your own battles, and all those who are related to Saloni cannot expect to dial 1-800-SALONI to help them out, if they are in trouble. Thats making Saloni a larger-than life image, which is very unrealistic.

I just wanted to give in my $0.02 worth, but once I warmed up on the subject it went on to be a $1.00 worth! 😊

Interesting topic!

I understand Saloni wants to help Shubra and wants her sister to be happy. But, Saloni should not have directly gone to Padma. Being Shubra's MIL - Ambika or Narpat has right to go and talk to her. Plus as someone mentioned Shubra is not getting ill-treated, she is trying to resolve a family matter and wanted to discuss with her family members. But knowing India's societal constraint - I really dont think any in-laws would appreciate someone from bride's side stepping into their lives (that said even bride side wouldn't want groom's parents or chacha-chachi or mama-mami to interfere in their lives. Its a matter between Shubra and in-laws to resolve and Ambika should advice not Saloni!

Originally posted by: shopgirl1

yes saloni is rite by helping her sister...but going 2 her sis in-laws house...i don't think so :(...saloni shuld help her sis not the "in-laws"...its my POV pls :)

I know but the thing is that shubhra's in laws problem is shubhra's problem .

Shubhra knowing her FIL can not accept what allegations are made on him. Shubhra is trying to make a peace in family and she is constantly scolded for that and made unhappy by kunjan and padma including they stopped her from visiting her parents.

All saloni has done is to go there and talk to them as she can not see her younger sister unhappy. I believe that saloni has not crossed her limits. She is ready to take the brunt or anger or rath of both Padma and GJPS in exchange and to me it takes a lot of courage to go to some one knowing that they will be insulted and thrown out.

By western theory it is meddling or interfereing. but I have seen many family sqabbles solved by outsiders when I was growing up and it was my dad who helped many despite not being related and many times my dad was even younger than few ppl who had family problems. and today my younger brother does a same thing. So I don't feel this is unrealstic.

Originally posted by: ramas

I know but the thing is that shubhra's in laws problem is shubhra's problem .

Shubhra knowing her FIL can not accept what allegations are made on him. Shubhra is trying to make a peace in family and she is constantly scolded for that and made unhappy by kunjan and padma including they stopped her from visiting her parents.

All saloni has done is to go there and talk to them as she can not see her younger sister unhappy. I believe that saloni has not crossed her limits. She is ready to take the brunt or anger or rath of both Padma and GJPS in exchange and to me it takes a lot of courage to go to some one knowing that they will be insulted and thrown out.

By western theory it is meddling or interfereing. but I have seen many family sqabbles solved by outsiders when I was growing up and it was my dad who helped many despite not being related and many times my dad was even younger than few ppl who had family problems. and today my younger brother does a same thing. So I don't feel this is unrealstic.

the problems that you are talking about are different... NO ONE WANTS AN OUTSIDER TO DIG INTO UR PAST.......

i know in India outsiders can step in to solve a problem.... but lets not forget that in india outsiders stepping in your family also causes small problem to blow up..... NO ONE KNOWS THE 100% DEEP DOWN TRUTH ABOUT ANYONE ELSE...... so no one has the right to step into other person's place

I think it is none of Saloni's business. If Shubhra has a problem which is directly affecting her then Saloni can help her in resolving it, but trying to talk to her MIL is not the right step. How does she know that Shubhra's FIL is not at fault? It is a issue between Shubra's parents-in-law and they should resolve it amongst themselves. Shubhra should try to convince Kunjan to talk to his parents rather than dragging Saloni in the matter. No one likes it when they know that their life is being discussed by other people.