The desi leper: An unmarried woman over 30

Businessman Ram - over 35 - OMG look how accomplished he is! WOW!

College lecturer Priya - over 30 - stay away from that leper, her luck will curse you all!

I am really tired of this way of thinking. Women over 30 who have held off on getting married are usually just as accomplished as men, if not more so. But no desi family seems to see it. Cajoling and pushing them into marriage is the only option apparently. I watched the initial BALH and I even had a problem with it then. While the mature love story idea is good, I can't stand the double standard with which women are seen in our culture.

If the biological clock argument comes up, I have an answer. 1. Women can conceive much later than 35, 2. they might not even want children, 3. they can adopt the millions of children suffering under poverty, 4. the world is over populated, 5. there is egg-preservation 6. surrogacy 7. invitro 8. there is more to women than being wombs!

What irritates me the most is that older women in families are the worst offenders in making unmarried women feel less than. STOP BEING THE PRESERVERS OF THE PATRIARCHY! Raise a good son rather than telling your daughters how to bend to a man's will. No one's genes are special enough that the world cannot do without it. Literally no one's.

Also, choosing male children over females like they have done for generations in Asian countries, Latin American countries, etc leads to socially awkward males in a culture with way fewer women. That's why we have entitled incels today shooting up places because they just can't compete with the other males in being attractive to women who can afford to be selective. Ever wonder that some women are just single because there is no man meeting even her lowest bar because society mollycoddles and messes up how sons are raised? This is not an India only issue. Just about any culture other than maybe some Scandinavian ones do this, but this is a desi show so I am writing it for this audience.

That's my rant. Feel free to add more.

I agree with all your points

Also the hypocrisy- men not marrying over 30, arre becharo ko soulmate nhi mila. Girl not marrying even close to 30- isse koi nahi milega she must hate men. Like ????

Yes, that one too. Like something must be wrong with her.

Well summed up!
A man looks handsome with peppered hair.. ‘oh!what a George Clooney!’ Vs a woman who has 1 strand of white hair due to hormones, genes or medical reasons is most definitely a ‘budhiya’!

Adding the betrayal part of it as well..

a. A man would get default sympathy if they were betrayed. A woman would be told surely u did something to deserve it!
b. A man crying.. all going awww..and consoling the poor baby till he can deal with it; a woman crying in love.. get over it and fast or u will be left on shelf!

As u said, this goes beyond the show 🤯

Totally since I was in similar situation

I got married at 28 and at 30 I was struggling with divorse due to toxic emo and physical abuse. Took me 2 years of therapy to get physically better.

A friend from my college group proposed and after close group encouragement we dated for about a year.

Extended fam had a prob with everything. Luckily my older is savage and my other siblings were supportive. But my older bro and wife came back to India during my troubled phase and helped me back on my feet.

I got re married at 34 and had a child at 36..

I have another friend who married at 39 and has 2 children one at 40 and another at 42.

It's not new it's a very old stereotype and that's what the serial wants to break👍🏼

Ya I do agree to the main agenda of the post. The society is indeed discriminating that way. I can say for sure since I myself got married at 28 and have experienced similar such situations though not so bad or severe ones!

But I don't agree with you on the medical grounds funda. Though there are lotsa options available, its far easier and straightforward and also more healthy to have a baby before u hit your 30. Saves a lot of headache. As per doctors, having your first child post 30 also increases the chances of cancer. So if women do want children I still do think that its better they have them before 30. Am of course not saying that they have to get married for that!

AGREE WITH EVERY WORD ❤️

This is the feeling of millions of women out there, Thank you for putting it all in words 👏

Even today if a married woman chooses not to have kids, people always assume she has some medical issue.

If a woman chooses to stay single, people assume there is something wrong with her and is being rejected.

If a woman prioritises career over being a 'maid' for her husband/in-laws, she is considered to be 'difficult'.

This world is definitely more tough for women but women are strong and should continue to strive for their rights no matter what ❤️

Originally posted by: vimeo

Ya I do agree to the main agenda of the post. The society is indeed discriminating that way. I can say for sure since I myself got married at 28 and have experienced similar such situations though not so bad or severe ones!

But I don't agree with you on the medical grounds funda. Though there are lotsa options available, its far easier and straightforward and also more healthy to have a baby before u hit your 30. Saves a lot of headache. As per doctors, having your first child post 30 also increases the chances of cancer. So if women do want children I still do think that its better they have them before 30. Am of course not saying that they have to get married for that!

I didn't say anything against having children before 30. I said it is possible after 35 too if the woman wants it and there are many ways of going about getting a child.