asmaani index || notice - page twenty-five - Page 15

Note: Haven't watched any of the episodes but I heard what happened so don't expect any canonical accuracies. This is simply my take on it.

Trigger Warnings: Non-consensual touching, and violence.

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tying pleats

Pallavi rushed into her room, holding onto her loose pallu. She didn’t know how it failed to be supported today. Usually she takes extra measures to keep it up. She looked down at the few safety pins that were lying scattered on her vanity desk. She groaned at her idiocy. She must have forgotten to fasten them in her rush to help Aai this morning.

No worries. Now that she had a few minutes to spare, she could wear it properly again. She removed her pallu and pulled her pleats out from her petticoat. She thought of simply redoing them but found she had messed up the initial length of fabric she had tucked in. Kissing her teeth, Pallavi removed the entire yard and waved it out to remove the creases.

Pallavi had been folding up the fabric to make the pleats when she heard the door close behind her. She turned around and was shocked to see Mandaar.

“Mandaar, tum yahan kya kar re ho?”

He swept his eyes over her body and Pallavi was reminded of her undressed state. Gulping, she hastily covered herself with her saree’s pallu.

“Saree theek se bandh lo Pallavi.” He commented in a saccharine tone. Standing in front of her, he said, “Bahar kahin khul na jaye.”

Pallavi glared at him. “Dhamki de re ho?”

“Why Pallavi, of course not! Pati hoon mein tumhara.” Pallavi stared at his hands when they came to rest on her shoulders. “Tumhe dhamkaunga thodi. Pyaar se samjhaunga.” He squeezed her shoulders to further prove his point.

She swatted his hands away and took a step back. “Apni galat fehmi door kar lo Mandaar. Mere pati abhi tak bane nahi ho tum.”

He scoffed. “Lagta hai yadaash meri nahi tumhari jaa chuki hai. Humari shaadi do saal pehle ho chuki thi Pallavi. Yeh rasam bas ek formality.”

He came closer and when Pallavi tried stepping back he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her forward.

“Let me help you with this.” He said, pulling the pleats out of her hands.

“Mujhe tumhare madad ki koi zaroorat nahi hai.” Pallavi rebuked trying to grab them back.

“Why are you getting so mad Pallu? Pati hoon. Help karna chahta hoon. Tumhari problem kya hai?”

“I don’t need your help! Mein khud kar sakti hoon.” Pallavi spoke angrily.

Dropping the pleats and releasing her, he stepped away from her. “Fine. As you wish.” Slowly walking towards the door, he said, “Mein Aai ko mil kar aata hoon. I’m pretty sure she needs help. Kaafi dino se unho saans lene mein problem hori thi na. I’ll take care of that for her.”

Pallavi’s heart dropped. “Nahi! Tum Aai ko kuch nahi karoge.”

“Par Pallu mein toh help karne jaa ra hoon.”

“Nahi, unhe tumhari koi help nahi chahiye.” She squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her hands into fists. Even though every fiber of her being wanted him to be far away from her, she knew this one time she had to give into his demands. If not, Aai’s life would be in grave danger. She kept her eyes fixed to the ground and said, “Mujhe, mujhe chahiye. Tum meri help kar do.”

Mandaar brought his steps back to her. He removed her pallu and stared at her for a long few seconds. She clenched her hands tighter and felt her sharp fingernails pierce the skin on her palms. Pallavi wanted to at least cover her chest but she had a feeling it would incense him even more. She trembled when he touched either side of her chest and slid them down while he crouched in front of her. Squeezing her eyes, she told herself it’ll be over soon. Not just him forcing his way into her personal space, but him forcefully tying her down in some sham of a marriage.

Pallavi opened her eyes in shock when she felt his fingers dig deep inside the hem of her petticoat. There was absolutely no need for him to do that. All he had to do was tuck in the fabric a little bit and she could secure them with the safety pins. Pallavi looked down at him and saw the way he gazed at her navel. She shook with an ice cold fear when he pressed his lips against it.

She looked away to latch onto a random object so that she could orient herself. She made the mistake of catching a reflection of herself in the mirror. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she saw herself half dressed and Mandaar crouching before her, his hands still on her body.

What the hell was she even doing? She didn’t want this. Not his rough touches, his sloppy wet kisses or his lustful stares. She has successfully warded off so many lewd men in the past. Men who thought they would be doing her a favor by giving her some comfort in Mandaar’s absence. Men who thought they could have their way with her because they assumed she would be a weak woman due to the loss of her husband. She never considered herself weak then. With the support of her Aai and Baba, she had gained the confidence and courage to not just talk back to those vile men, but to adequately defend herself from their attacks. So why the hell couldn't she do the same now? Was it because she didn’t have her Aai and Baba’s support anymore? Or was it because this man before her wasn’t a stranger?

Mandaar stood up and looked down at her. “Now was that so hard?” He looped his finger around the tendril of her hair. “Pati ka kaam hota hai madad karna. Maang leni chahiye when you feel stuck.” She looked away and he smirked. “You know I was thinking I should move back into the room. Like I said before, yeh shaadi ki rasam sirf ek formality hai. Suhaag raat par jo gunaah tumhare saath kiya tha, usse theek bhi toh karna hai.”

Pallavi’s blood ran cold. Her fear must be plastered clearly on her face but Mandaar showed no sign of noticing it. Instead, humming out a song, he walked out of the room.

“Nahi, nahi.” Fearing he would return right away, Pallavi ran to the door and locked it.

She turned around and pressed her body against it as if her extra weight would successfully keep him out. Her pallu slipped off her shoulder and Pallavi ripped the entire fabric off of her body. Crumpling it into a ball, she tried to throw it far away from her but it didn’t. Instead, it fell slowly to the floor as if it were mocking her for her failure to protect herself. Sobbing, Pallavi too slid to the ground. Hugging her knees, she looked around the room. This used to be her safe haven. Over the past two years, she claimed this small space of the home as her own. From the paint of the walls to the pieces decorating it; from the small plants resting on the window ledge to her arts and crafts table in the corner - they were all elements that she nurtured because they brought her peace and comfort. Yet, after the atrocity that happened today, there was no relief in them.

With shaky fingers, Pallavi wiped her tears. No matter what happened there was no way she could give into Mandaar’s demands any longer. He can kiss his dream of sharing the same room as her goodbye.

Standing up, she pulled open her closet doors and shuffled through the clothes until she found a yellow Anarkali outfit. She quickly changed into it and went out of the room. Between all the bullshit he had been spewing, Mandaar did say one thing right: If she feels stuck, she should seek out help. Right now, the only person capable of doing that was her husband.

“Pallavi.”

She halted in her steps as she heard Raghav’s voice. She looked around but when she didn’t immediately see him, she began to wonder if she had just imagined it. She was about to leave when she heard it again.

“Kahan ho?” She asked with desperation seeped into her voice.

She yelped when she got pulled into the kitchen. Pallavi was shocked to see the cook they had hired and not her husband. Hot anger rushed through her and she pushed him hard. She had it with strange men touching her against her will.

“Pallavi?”

It was that voice again. Her husband’s voice. She looked closely at him and with a cracked voice, spoke, “Raghav?”

“Haan, mein hoon. Tumhara Raghav.”

Tumhara Raghav.

Those two words alone were enough to make her sob and fall forward into his arms. “Raghav.” She wailed into his chest and let herself break.

His arms immediately wrapped themselves around her in a secure hold. “Pallavi, kya hua? Tum itna ro kyun ra hai?”

She cried harder. She wanted to tell him but right now she just wanted to take a moment and cry her heart out.

“Uss Mandaar ne kuch kiya kya?” He asked angrily.

Pallavi curled her fingers and nodded her head.

“Usko toh mein chodne wala nahi. Bahut ho gaya.”

Sniffling, Pallavi looked up and saw sheer rage on his face. Cupping his cheek, she turned his face her way. She wanted to ask him to look at her with love in his eyes but after what Mandaar did, asking for any sort of intimacy somehow felt wrong. Lowering her eyes, she hugged Raghav. She didn’t want to spend the rest of her life fearing to be close to her own husband.

“Pallavi.” Pallavi quickly broke away from Ragahv when she heard Sulochana’s voice.

She tried to wipe her tears away as well but it wasn’t fast enough. Sulochana looked between Pallavi and Raghav and grew suspicious.

“Yeh kya hora hai?”

“Kuch nahi.” Pallavi’s voice cracked. Looking back at the cutting board, she was thankful to see the diced onion. “Mein bas pyaaz kaat rahi thi.”

Irked, Sulochana asked, “Agar tum sabziya kaato gi phir hum isse paise kyun dere hai? Baat baat par apni aamiri dikhane ki zaroorat nahi hai Pallavi. Isse apna kaam karne do.”

Seeing Raghav grow angry, Pallavi spoke up before he could do anything. “Aap ko kuch chahiye tha?”

“Tumhari Aai ki dawai khatam hone wali hai. Bas aaj raat ke liye hai.” Sulochana informed, irritably.

“Mein le aaungi.” Pallavi said.

“Mera moonh dekhne ke liye paise nahi mil re tumhe. Kaam pe lag jaa.” Sulochana reprimanded Raghav before leaving the kitchen.

“Sab se pehle toh mein iska the end kar deta hoon.” Raghav gritted.

“Raghav shaant.” She clutched his wrist and pulled him back. Gripping him by the forearm, she tried to reason with him but he refused to listen.

“Iska bakwaas sun ke koi kaise shaant re sakta hai? Meine tumse pehle bhi kaha hai ki tumhare jitna patience nahi hai mujh mein.” Raghav argued.

“I know, I know.” She patted his shoulder to calm him. “But humein shaanti se kaam karna hoga. Aise sab ko dhain dhain kar ke attack thodi na kar sakte hai.”

“Kabhi kabhi bandook ki dhain hi sab se best solution hota hai Pallavi.”

Pallavi thought of her Aai lying in her bedroom, paralyzed. Mandaar must have thought a murderous attack would be the best solution too. Pallavi wasn’t so sure. She wanted Mandaar to be punished severely for all the torture he was inflicting on the family but she wanted it to be the legal way. However, that path was taking too long. She clutched Raghav’s forearm tightly. Pallavi didn’t want a repeat of the assault. Maybe Raghav was right?

“Pallavi!” Sulochana’s voice screeched into the kitchen. “Khaana lagwa do!”

“Aayi!” Pallavi yelled back.

“Itna sa kaam bhi nahi hota?” Raghav asked Pallavi.

“Forget about her. Hum jaldi se kar lete hai.” She picked up the rolling pin and opened up the tin that contained dry flour. “Atta.” Not seeing the kneaded dough out, she spun to grab it from the fridge.

Raghav pulled her by the elbow and questioned her, “Pallavi, tumhara dimaag toh theek hai. Abhi tum itna ro ra tha aur ab inn sab ke liye tum roti banaye ga?”

Pallavi gripped the rolling pin. “Raghav mujhe abhi uske baare mein nahi soch na. Mujhe roti banane do.”

“Par Pallavi-”

“Raghav please!” She pleaded, her heart racing.

“Fine. Tujhe jo karna hai kar.” He grabbed a bowl off the counter and left the kitchen.

Pallavi closed her eyes and wished she could just tell Raghav the truth. But given how angry he’s been getting from just Sulochana’s antics, she feared what he would do to Mandaar. If she didn’t tell the truth though, Mandaar would get out of hand.

Raghav came back presumably to get the other dishes looking absolutely disgruntled.

“Raghav please don’t be angry with me.” Pallavi pleaded, grabbing his wrist. He tried shaking his hand away but Pallavi held on tightly. “Please, I just need you right now.” She cried.

She felt the tension fall away from his body and he once again turned around to hold her. “Kya hua hai tujhe Pallavi? Mere se baat kyun nahi karta?”

“Mujhe bahut darr lag ra hai Raghav.”

“Mujhse?”

She shook her head. “Kabhi nahi.”

“Toh phir?” When she didn’t elaborate, he insisted on knowing, “Uss Mandaar ne kya kiya?”

“Usne-” She cried harder as she remembered how Mandaar touched her. “Raghav.” She hugged him and wished there was some way he could just read her mind.

“Baaki ka khaana kal aaye ga kya?” Sulochana yelled.

Pallavi sniffled and broke the hug to pull the kneaded dough out of the fridge.

“Sanki buddhe ke sleeping pills kahan hai?” Raghav asked.

“Kyun?”

“Bada bindi wale aunty ko dena hai.”

“Raghav.” She admonished.

“Pallavi, woh subah se loudspeaker ki tarah bolte jaa ra hai. Thoda araam milega usse.” He tried to reason but Pallavi didn’t fall for it.

“Raghav apni yeh bakwaas band karo and just help me with all of this.”

“Fine.” Taking a few more bowls with him, Raghav left.

As Pallavi rolled out the roti, she felt a residual amount of tranquility settle within her. But she knew it was short-lived. The minute she stepped outside of the kitchen and came to the dining room where the Deshmukhs were seated, all that peace would drain right out of her.

Raghav came back to the kitchen and hugged her from behind. “Woh sab chawal ke saath busy hai.”

Pallavi nodded. She had a couple more minutes to be alone. Leaning back against his chest, she sighed. She didn’t want to steal moments of peace for the rest of her life. She wanted to be free from the constant stress and fear that had plagued her from the past few weeks.

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“Tum jaa sakte ho.” Pallavi froze hearing Mandaar’s words to Raghav. “Saara khaana ban gaya hai. Tumhari ab koi zaroorat nahi hai.”

“Mein toh kehti hoon isse kal aane ki bhi zaroorat nahi hai. Ghar ka kaam karne ke liye Pallavi hai na.” Sulochana said while munching on a stick of cucumber. When Mandaar looked at her sternly, she spoke in a sweeter voice. “Mera kehna ka matlab hai ki Aai bemaar hai. Unke diwaai aur ilaaj ke liye itne saare paise lag re hai. Aur Bhai Sahab ki diwaaiya bhi toh kareed ni hai. Hum kyun khama ka itne paise barbaad kar re hai.”

Seeing the sense in her words, Mandaar nodded. “You’re right. Swapnil, tum kal bhi mat aana.”

Pallavi’s heart raced. She looked over at Raghav and he too stood speechless.

“Kare kare moonh kya dekh rahe ho. Jaa na.” Sulochana yelled.

“Nahi, yeh itni jaldi thode na jaa sakte hai.” Pallavi intervened.

“Kyun?” Mandaar asked suspiciously.

“Kyun?” Pallavi racked her brain for a believable answer. “P-Paise. Haan, paise! Abhi payment bhi toh deni hai.” She got up from her seat and was about to head to her room when Mandaar grabbed her wrist.

“Khaana khaate waqt aise uth kar nahi jaate. It’s bad manners.” He squeezed tightly and Pallavi tried not to wince in pain. Mandaar reached into his pocket and pulled out a few bills. “Yeh lo.” He told Raghav.

“Nahi. Meine hire kiya, so he’s my responsibility. Mein paise de dungi.” She pulled her hand out of Mandaar’s grip and rubbing it, rushed into her room.

“Dikhao mujhe.” Raghav gently held her wrist and saw how red it had gotten. “Uss kameene ki toh mein-”

“Raghav, please.” She cautioned. “Bahar tamasha karoge toh Baba ki tabiat kharab ho sakti hai.”

“Pallavi, I don’t fcking care anymore. Tum apna parwa kab karega?”

“I’m trying Raghav but it’s not that simple!”

“Why not!”

“Because-”

“Pallavi.” Mandaar called.

Panicking, Pallavi stepped away from Raghav and ran to her cupboard to look for some money. From the corner of her eye, she saw Mandaar standing at the doorway. Pulling out a few bills, she handed them to Raghav.

“Yeh lo.” Before Raghav could take the money, Mandaar snatched it to inspect the amount.

“Tum isse zyaada de rahi ho.” Mandaar pointed out harshly.

“Nahi, mujhe kal ke liye kuch samaan chahiye. Toh mein ussi ke paise de rahi hoon.”

“Pallavi he doesn’t work for us anymore.”

“There is no us Mandaar.” She spoke heatedly.

“What did you just say to me?” He spoke warningly.

“There is no us.” Pallavi repeated. “Yeh mere liye kaam karta hai aur yeh tab tak karta rahega jab tak mein na kahun. Tumhe beech mein bol ne ki zaroorat nahi hai.”

Mandaar stepped towards her and threatened in a low voice, “You better watch your tone with me.”

“Or what?”

His smile made the air go ice cold around her. Tracing the side of her face, he said, “You better match that pitch in bed tonight. And be sure to wear a saree. Jitna maaza pehnane mein aaya, usse kahin zyaada utarne mein hoga.”

Pallavi’s eyes grew hot with tears. Smirking, Mandaar flung the bills at her and left the bedroom.

“Iski toh mein-” Grabbing a vase, Raghav was about to storm after Mandaar but stopped when he heard Pallavi’s whimpers. Throwing the vase onto the bed, Raghav came back to her. “Pallavi?”

She hugged him immediately. “Please mujhe chod ke mat jao Raghav. Woh mujhe, woh mere saath-” She squeezed her eyes shut, not even wanting to think of the horrific plans Mandaar had for her.

“Look at me.” Raghav cupped her face. “Woh tumko haath bhi nahi laga sakta. Uske karne se pehle kaat ke rakh dunga.”

“But he did.” Pallavi whispered.

“What?” Raghav asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“He touched me Raghav.” Pallavi confessed. She stared at the saree that was lying on the floor. Raghav looked in the same direction. “He didn’t rape me but he touched me. Aur woh aaj raat ko-”

“Pallavi, listen to me carefully.” Raghav interrupted. “Mandaar’s dying tonight.” Pallavi trembled with fear. “No Pallavi, he’s dying okay. No, I don’t want to hear anything from you. That fcking b*stard is dead.”

Raghav didn’t listen to another word she had to say and left in a more furious state than he had initially come into the house with. Pallavi shook her head, sobbing. She didn’t want to be responsible for Mandaar’s death. She didn’t want anyone to get hurt.

Thinking she could stop Raghav in time, she ran after him.

“Tum kahan jaa rahi ho?” Sulochana asked when she saw Pallavi dash by.

Pallavi ignored her and ran out the front gates. She looked both ways down the street but didn’t see Raghav anywhere. She was too late. Maybe she could still get a hold of him on the phone. She had turned around to go back into the house but was startled seeing Mandaar behind her.

“Pallavi. What’s going on?” He asked with a smile.

“Woh,” she again racked her brain for a believable lie, “Aai. Aai ki diwaai. Kaki aap ne kaha tha na ki Aai ki diwaai khatam hone wali hai. So mein wahi lene jaa rahi thi.”

Mandaar looked over his shoulder at Sulochana who confirmed the fact. Turning back to Pallavi, he said, “Tum andar chalo. Mein le aata hoon. Parchi do.” He extended his hand.

“Parchi?”

“Diwaai ki parchi. Uske bina jaa rahi thi kya?”

“Nahi, mein auto dekh rahi thi.” Pallavi lied.

Mandaar sighed. “Just get back in the house.”

Pallavi went to her own room while Mandaar went to Aai’s to fetch the prescription. She grabbed her phone and tried calling Raghav but the dial tone wouldn’t even go through. It was over. Raghav was going to go through with it.

Pallavi went to Aai and cuddled up beside her. “I’m so sorry Aai.”

She would have cried for the loss of her son but Pallavi couldn’t bring herself to do it. Perhaps she had finally run out of tears for those who wronged her.

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Mandaar grabbed the brown paper bag containing his mother’s medicines with a disgruntled frown. He didn’t want to be out here on a humid night getting some damn pills. He wanted to be back in the comfort of his AC room, preferably with Pallavi in his arms.

He quickly hailed a taxi as the desire to be with his wife grew hot in his loins. He had been wanting to do this since the day he had returned. It was his tough luck that she had ended up being married to that asshole Raghav. But now that he thought about it, maybe it wasn’t so bad. She was after all paying for the majority of his mother’s treatments. It was good. She had Raghav wrapped around her finger so he wouldn’t think twice before coughing up money for her. Meanwhile, Mandaar could enjoy the pleasures of her body like a husband should.

He thought back to how warm her skin had felt against his fingers and lips. Just a few more minutes and he would be tasting every inch of her body and letting her know exactly who she belonged to.

The taxi came to a halt on the other side of the street. He was crossing the street when a truck blared its horn loudly. Mandaar instinctively raised his hands to protect his eyes from the harsh light when he was pulled back. His heart raced as the adrenaline rushed over him.

Clutching his chest, he turned around while saying, “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” A gruff voice spoke.

Mandaar went still as something sharp went through his stomach. He didn’t get the chance to see what it was as the man held him close. The sharp object was plunged deeper into his abdomen and he felt blood spill out of his mouth. He turned his head to see who his attacker was but he was pushed to the ground

He turned his head and felt small pebbles prick the skin against his cheek. Dirt flew into the air as he shouted for the man who attacked him to stop. The taste of copper nauseated him and he clenched his fists to summon up enough energy to get up but he didn’t have much. He fell back to the ground and heard murmurs around him from fcking idiots who would much rather record videos of a dying man than actually help him out.

“Help!” He shouted but it got drowned out by the honking of the cars passing behind him.

As he lost consciousness, Mandaar stared at the bag containing his mother’s medicines.

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Pallavi was awakened by Vijay Deshmukh’s loud shouts. “Tumhari himmat kaisi hui yahan aane ki.”

“Sanki buddhe mera dimaag mat kha. I’m here for my wife.” Raghav replied, pointing at him.

“Tumhari yahan koi patni nahi hai. Ab jao yahan se.” He was closing the doors when Raghav stopped him.

“I won’t repeat myself. Jo lene aaya hoon, lekar hi jaunga.” Raghav spoke in a dangerously low tone.

Not wanting any more lives to be lost, Pallavi stepped forward. “Raghav.”

“Pallavi, chal mere saath. Ab tum ko yahan rehne ki koi zaroorat nahi hai.” Raghav said.

Vijay looked between her and Raghav. Connecting the dots, he asked Raghav, “Mandaar kahan hai?”

Pallavi and Raghav exchanged a look and Pallavi knew that Mandaar was dead.

“Meine pucha mera beta kahan hai!” Vijay shouted.

“Awaaz neeche. Varna biwi ke saath saath tumko bhi laithna parega.” Raghav retorted.

“Yeh kya ho raha hai?” Sulochana came to the lounge whilst rubbing her eyes.

“Sulochana, police ko phone kar. Mandaar abhi tak ghar nahi aaya aur mujhe shaq hai ki iss admi ne kuch kiya hoga.” Vijay said, glaring at Raghav.

Pocketing his hands, Raghav smirked. “Prove it. Till then I’m going to take my wife and my very lovely mother-in-law. Boys.” Snapping his fingers, he gestured at the men behind him to take Sharda with them.

“Meri biwi ko le jaani ki tum soch na bhi mat Raghav Rao.” Vijay threatened.

“Tera hi acha kar raha hoon. Kabhi toh baat maan liya kar. Ache hospital mein, best doctors se unka ilaaj hoga, jaldi theek ho jayega.” Raghav reasoned.

“Baba, aap please maan jayie. Iss mein Aai ki bhalayi hai.” Pallavi spoke.

“Haan, tum toh kahogi hi. Tumhe kaam karne se mukti jo mil jayegi.” Sulochana taunted.

“Toh aap karna seekh jayie.” Pallavi retorted. “Khud ke haath pair chala lengi toh aap ka kya jayega.”

“Mein Raghav ke saath jaa rahi hoon apne ghar. Aap ko yahan jo karna hai dil khol kar kar li jiye, I don’t care.” Huffing, Pallavi went to her room to quickly collect her purse and phone. When she came out, she saw her Aai being carried outside.

“Pallavi, agar mere Mandaar ko kuch bhi hua na. Toh Bhagwaan kasam, tum dono ka jeena haraam kar dunga.” Vijay warned.

Pallavi’s lips quivered. The truth about what Mandaar did to her was resting on the tip of her tongue and she wanted to scream it out at the top of her lungs. She would have done it too but Raghav held her back by a single gentle hold of her wrist.

“Rehne de Pallavi. Iss sanki buddhe ke dimaag mein kuch nahi jayega.”

He led her away from the house and this time Pallavi hoped she never returned.

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“Amma!” Pallavi ran inside the mansion.

“Pallavi! Tu aa gaya.” Amma ran up to meet her.

Pallavi couldn’t help but let the tears fall out as she became overwhelmed with her mother-in-law’s embrace. She didn’t know what it was about motherly hugs but they washed away all the troubles and worries of the world and made her feel as if she was completely safe.

“Mera bacha.” Amma kissed her on the forehead. Leading her inside, she said, “Pata hai Pallavi, tere bina ghar itna khaali sa lagta tha. Ek dum mere dil mafak. Par ab tu itni der ke liye mat jaana haan. Tujhe kuch khaana hai. Bhook lagra hoga. Tu baith, mein abhi leke aata.”

“Amma tum kyun takleef leta. Pallavi khaa ke aaya.” Raghav said.

“Tujhe kaise pata. Aur vaise bhi bahar ke khaane se itna maaza nahi aata jitna ghar ke khaane se aata. Hai na Pallavi?”

Pallavi smiled back. “Haan Amma. Raghav tumhe sona hai toh so jao. Mein baad mein aa jaungi.”

Raghav slumped his shoulders. “Unbelievable.”

Shaking his head, he left for his room. For a brief moment, Pallavi felt like going with Rghav but then Amma brought her the plate of food and that thought quickly went away. She eagerly dug into her meal which consisted of uttapam, idli and sambar.

“Sorry kuch khaas nahi banaya. Woh Raghav hai na, usne mujhe bataya hi nahi ki tum aaj laut ra hai. Agar pata hota toh tumhara saare favorite dishes banata.” Amma said.

“Amma itna kuch karne ki koi zaroorat nahi hai. Yehi bahut tasty hai. Apne banaya hai na?” Pallav asked with a smile.

Amma nodded. She ran her hand over Pallavi’s head and smiled. “Pata hai, aaj itne dino baad Raghav aur mein chain ki neend soyega. Tu jaanta nahi Pallavi, but teri yeh ek smile dekh kar mere dil ko bahut sukoon mil ra hai.”

“Aur mujhe bhi.” Pallavi said, holding her hand. “Aisa lag raha hai ki mein finally apne ghar laut aayi hoon. Jahan mein-” She wanted to say where she wouldn't be assaulted but she didn’t.

“Pallavi, tu theek toh hai na?” Amma asked. Pallavi nodded but she wasn’t convinced. “Tu apni Amma se jhoot bol ra hai?”

“Amma, mein, mein jhoot nahi bol na chahti but mein-” The spoon clattered out of her trembling fingers.

Amma held both her hands and asked with immense worry, “Pallavi aisa kya hua tere saath?”

“Amma, woh Mandaar, usne mujhe chua.” She sobbed.

Amma was shocked for a moment but she quickly stood so that Pallavi could hug her. “Shaant ho jaa Pallavi, shaant. Woh rakshas ab tere saath kuch nahi kar sakta. Agar woh yahan aaya bhi uske chotte chotte tukre kar ke kutton khila dunga. Aisa kaise chu sakta hai woh meri bahu ko.” Pallavi cried harder. “Aise gande sanskaar mile hai usko.” She spat. Lifting her face, Amma wiped her tears. “Pallavi tu aaj se uss family ke baare mein bilkul nahi sochega. Aaj se yehi tera family aur koi nahi.” Pallavi nodded as more tears flowed out. “Nahi, ab rona nahi. Shaant ho jaa. Dekh khaana bhi thanda hora hai.” She took her seat and pulled the plate forward. Breaking a piece of idli, Amma mixed it with some sambar and fed Pallavi. Caressing her hair, she said, “Mera bahadur bacha.”

“Pani.” Pallavi said, looking around the table for a glass of water.

“Mein abhi lekar aaya.” Amma said.

While she waited, Pallavi noticed how she felt instantly lighter. She was still exhausted from the crying, but she felt better too. Knowing that the people she shared her secret with fully had her back made her feel safe in ways that she didn’t even know possible.

Amma rested the glass of water on the table and took her seat again. Hesitantly, she asked, “Pallavi, tumne iss baare mein Raghav ko bataya?”

“Ji Amma.”

Amma nodded. “Phir toh uss rakshas ka anth kar diya hoga. Acha hua. Aise logo ke saath aisa hi hona chahiye.”

Pallavi was shocked. “Amma, aap yeh kaise keh sakti hai. Raghav ne murder kiya hai aur aap usse support kar rahi hai?”

“Jiska murder hua kya woh acha admi tha?” Amma asked.

“Acha ho ya bura, hum kanoon ko apne haath mein thodi na le sakte hai.”

“Toh tu Mandaar ke kilaaf case karta?” Amma’s question stumped Pallavi. “Usne tujhe touch kiya, itne dino se tujhe pareshaan kar ra tha, tu gaya police ke paas? Nahi na. Kyun? Kyunki tu jaanta hai usse. Par agar woh koi stranger hota phir tu kya karta Pallavi? Aise hi chup baitha rehta ya uss ladki ko apne self-respect ke liye ladne ko kehta?”

“Ladne ko kehti.” Pallavi answered quietly.

Amma rested her hand on Pallavi’s. “Raghav ne iss baar jo kiya bilkul sahi kiya.”

Pallavi ate the rest of her meal quietly and thought about what Amma said. She reflected back on all the strange men who used to leer at her and how quickly she used to shut them down. Even today, when Pallavi was pulled into the kitchen by whom she had assumed was the cook, she had been quick to push him away. But when it came to Mandaar? She compromised on herself in a way she never should have. And she did it all for what? A family who only valued her as long as she was linked to their son?

Pushing her plate aside, she drank her water.

“Aur laun?” Amma asked. Pallavi shook her head. “Theek hai. Tu jaa kar rest kar le. Phir hum kal din bhar gappe marenge.”

Pallavi gave a short laugh. “Theek hai Amma.”

While she cleared up the dishes, Amma asked, “Kal hum spa bhi jayega. Tere ko acha lagega. Itne dino ko saara stress utar jayega.”

Pallavi went up to Amma and gave her a tight hug. “Okay Amma.” Kissing her on the side of her head, she wished her goodnight.

_________________________________________________

Finished with her nightly routine, Pallavi crept under the blankets beside a sleeping Raghav. She gently lifted his arm so that she didn’t wake him and draped it across her body. This was the only husband she wanted to have in her bed for the rest of her days. Leaning over, she kissed him on the cheek.

She should be heavily opposed to his illegal ways but she was beginning to wonder if they were sometimes necessary to do what was right. After all, if Raghav hadn’t intervened with his methods, who knew how long Mandaar’s torture would have carried on. Not to mention, what he might have done tonight.

Shivering, Pallavi huddled closer to Raghav and had the first peaceful sleep after a long time.

_________________________________________________

Pallavi stood before her open closet and stared at all the hanging sarees. Normally she used to know exactly which one to wear each morning but today her mind was a complete blank. After what Mandaar did to her yesterday, she didn’t feel the same warm affiliation to the outfits as she used to. But how was that fair? She felt the most comfortable while wearing and crafting new sarees for women. Why should she be left feeling empty while Mandaar was dead?

She pulled out an orange mysore saree and smiled. It looked perfect for today.

“Pallavi, tu abhi tak tayyar nahi hua?” Raghav asked, coming into the bedroom. “Amma neeche wait kar ra hai.”

“Haan, mein abhi aati hoon.” Pallavi said, rushing into the bathroom.

With her blouse and petticoat on, she was about to tuck the long fabric when she flashed back to Mandaar’s touches. The way he had pulled the fabric out, and then stuck his fingers too deep into her petticoat were too much for her to handle. She leaned against the counter and breathed deeply to center herself.

“Pallavi, aur kitna time lagega?” Raghav asked through the door.

“Huh? Haan, bas, thodi der aur.” Pallavi replied.

Looking at her reflection, she reprimanded herself. She has to move forward. Mandaar was dead and gone. She can’t stay stuck in the past like she was two years ago. Picking up the long orange fabric, Pallavi went to the bedroom.

Raghav turned, assuming she was ready. When he saw that she wasn’t, he asked, “Kya hua?”

Pallavi walked up to him. “Kya tum saree pehnane mein madad karoge?”

“Kyun? Tumko aata toh hai.”

“Raghav, please?”

Sighing, he nodded. “Par tumko batana hoga kaise karte hai. Mere ko yeh sab nahi aata.”

Pallavi nodded. Step by step, she told him exactly what to do and he followed the instructions with the utmost concentration. Not once did his eyes gloss over her skin in a lustful manner or his fingers brush against her just to get a feel. He quietly did what was needed and then when he was done, he stepped back to let her examine the work.

“So Mrs. Raghav Rao, mere ko kitna mark mila?” Raghav asked her reflection.

Pallavi looked at the neatly tucked pleats, and how crisp the pallu was set over her shoulder. “Perfect.” She grinned.

“Of course! Mere ko pata hi tha. Raghav Rao ko 100 se kam kabhi mil hi nahi sakta.”

Laughing, Pallavi placed her arms around him. She had stared into his eyes for merely a few seconds before she leaned up to kiss him.

“Yeh kiss kis liye?”

“It’s my way of thanking you.”

“Saree pehnane ke liye?”

She shook her head. “Kal ke liye. Mandaar, Aai, just everything.”

“Isme thank you kis baat ka. You’re my wife Pallavi.”

“Even Mandaar thought I was his wife. But the way he treated me is so much different than you.”

Smiling, Raghav teased, “That’s because I’m Raghav Rao aur mera jaisa ek hi unique piece bana hai.”

Pallavi laughed and kissed him on the cheek. “Aur yeh piece sirf mera hai.”

Smiling, he nudged his nose with hers before he leaned in to kiss her. Pallavi looped her arms around his neck and kissed him back.

“Can we just stay here for a while and do this?” She asked in between kisses.

“Of course. You can do anything you want Pallavi.” He answered.

“Good.” She whispered and pulled him by the collar until they fell against the bed. She made him wrap his arms around her so that she could be thoroughly wrapped in his warm embrace.

“Promise me something Pallavi.” He whispered.

“Kya?”

“Tum apne dil ka har baat share karega. Kabhi kuch nahi chupayega.”

“Raghav-”

“Nahi Pallavi, you have to.” He interrupted. “Kal jab tum ro ra tha aur kuch nahi bola, mera dimaag ghoom gaya. Agar tum feelings share nahi karega phir mein teri help kaise karega? Mein koi mind reader thodi na hai ki mujhe sab pata chal jayega.”

Pallavi silenced him with a kiss to his lips. “I promise. Aaj ke baad full honesty.”

“Good.” He knocked his forehead against hers and smiled.

_________________________________________________

A few hours later when Pallavi and Raghav came out of the bedroom to join Amma and Farhad for breakfast, they weren’t made to feel bad for keeping the two waiting. Instead, the dining table was laid out with all kinds of delectable dishes and the conversations remained endless and filled with laughter. In between bites when Pallavi looked over to Raghav, she reached for his hand underneath the table. She squeezed it once as a way of thanking him for the loving family he gave and he squeezed it back to thank her for making his house a home. As for when they interlaced their fingers, it was to promise each other to always remain connected with one another.