DIL MEI CHUPA LUNGA - A Majbhuri Azaadi tale.
After days of fighting a lone war with his own thoughts, Shiva was tired and exhausted. He had to pause at some point to introspect as to what made him doubt Raavi's loyalty that too amidst the busy lanes of Somnath with people watching over them. This is just a perception based on the current track. If Shiva had a monologue, this could be what I decipher as his feelings from the emotions as being communicated.
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Raavi walking in the rain alongside the road, recollects Shiva's words.
'Apne dostho ko na mujhse door rakh. Varna ek ek ko batha dunga junglee kaise hothe hai.'
*Shiva during the skirmishes*
'Meri Biwi ke saath internet pe photo daalega. Usko pani pilaegaa tuh. Godh mei uthegaa.'
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Raavi, after crying her heart out, reaches home. She tries to explain to the family what happened at the temple. In the meantime, Shiva comes home. The family express utter shock and disbelief. Dhara questions Shiva about his actions. He refuses to give any explanations. Raavi and Shiva continue to aruge and blame each other and then Suman interrupts. She asks them to break the relationship if they could not tolerate eachother anymore. Shiva obliges and declares that their relationship has become a burden and he had no capacity to carry it any further. He asks Raavi to decide if she wanted to stay at the Pandya Niwas and leaves for the Store.Raavi agrees to part ways with him as she had done enough to save their relationship and could not deal with him any longer. She packs all her belongings and says goodbye to the family.
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Shiva comes back from the Store late in the evng. He goes the room only to find out that Raavi has already left. There was silence everywhere and their separation had started to affect him much more than he expected. He goes out to have dinner with the family. Everyone was sad and silent throughout. They were watching Shiva who was only pretending to be not affected by whatever happened. He was trying to convince them that he was happy at being his own-self, like he was pre-wedding. Before they'll could leave,
Gautam: Shiva maa ne tujhe bulaya hai. Khana khatam karne ke baadh baath kar lena.
After he's done,Shiva goes to his mother.
*Knock* *Knock*
Shiva (S) : Maa tuune bulaya.
Suman Maa (M) : Bahar kyu khada hai. Andhar toh aa.
He sits beside her but avoids looking in the eyes.
M : Tuune khana kha liya.
S : Haah. Aur tu….
(She interrupts)
M : Shiva, tu un logon mei se nahi hai joh beech sadakh par sabhke saamne kisi ladki ke charitr pe sawal uthae. Mere bete ko mei bahut ache se jaanthi hu. Chal abh batha kyu kiya.
S : Kyu kiya matlab?
M : Tu jaantha hai tune Raavi ke saath bahut galat kiya, kayi dino se usse bahut chot pahunchaya. Tujhe afsoos hai iss baath ki. Tu maafi mangna chahtha hai par khudh ko jabardasti rokh raha hai. Abh yeh baath tujhe andhar se khaye jaa rahi hai. Duniya se chahe jitna bhi chupale, Maa se kabhi apni aulaadh ka dhukh nahi chupta. Sach batana kyu…
(Shiva interrupts)
S : Maa mujhe dhukh nahi hai kisi baath ki. Ulta aaj toh aise lag raha hai ki dil halka ho gaya. Sara bhoj utar gaya joh mei itne dino se lekar chal raha tha.
M : Agar dil tera halka hai, toh chehre par maayusi kyu hai. Tere aankhon mein joh dardh hai, saaf dikh rha hai.
S : (smiles at her assuredly) Sach mei koi dhukh nahi hai mujhe.Jo ho gaya, so ho gaya. Jaane de na Maa. Abhi bahut takh gaya hu. Voh mujhe neendh aa rahi hai. Issliye shaydh meri aankhe aise…
Having sensed Shiva being so dispirited and downcast Suman didn't what to upset him more. She makes him sleep on her lap and gently pats on his head. Shiva finally finds his moment of peace after the tiring battle he's put up with himself.
A little later as dark memories (Sneha, Maami, Rahul, Sudheesh etc) of the past few days ran across his mind he says to himself :
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"Haah galat kiya. Bahut galat kiya Raavi ke saath. Par joh bhi kiya uski khushiyon ke liye kiya. Uss ghadedi ko patha nahi woh kya maang rahi thi.
(Flashback)
***Raavi praying to Bholenath at the temple. Shiva watching from a distance.
R : Hey Bholenath. Dhara di ke bachhe ke liye inn teeno bhaiyo ne joh mannat maangi hai usse puri kar doh. Aur kal maine joh aapse mannat maangi hai apne liye, please please please usse bhi puri kardho. Aur nahi kar sakhthi uss Shiva se ladayi jhagda. Mai thak gayi hu usse samjhate ki mujhe life mei aage badna hai. Nahi mila apne pasand ka ladka toh kya zindagi bhar rothe rahungi. Adjustments aur comprises se hi shadi chalthi hai. Jaise mujhe uske gusse ki aadat ho gayi hai, usse meri bakwaas sunne ki. Mujhe uske tel-masale ki smell ki abh aadat ho gayi, usse bhi aadat ho gayi haimere haath ka khana ki. Hum dheere dheere hi sahi, ek dusre ke saath jeena seekhle. Bahut ummedh leke aayi hu baba tere mandir mei, meri pradhana sweekar kar lena aur jaldh hi humari zindagi mein khushiyan bhar dena.***
Raavi bahut ache hai Maa. Uska dil bahut saaf hai. Humesha pariwaar ko apne se aage rakhthi hai. Dusro ka dhukh nahi dekha jaatha usse. Haah thodi ajeeb hai. Aam ko mirchi ke saath khathi hai aur teekha khake rone laghthi hai. Khudh ko badi sherni samjhti hai par itna hai nahi.
Isse chodar bhi uski ek duniya hai. Uski sapno ki duniya. Uska pati DEV…....jaisa pada likha insaan ho. Ek gentleman ho. Joh ache kapde pehntha ho. Angrezi boltha ho. Jisse apne dostho se milaane mei usse sharam na ho. Joh uske class aur level ka ho. Das saal ki umar se woh issi sapne ko jeene ka intezar kar rahi thi.
Uske saare sapne sach hone hi wale the. Par uski kismat mei Dev ka naam nahi likha tha aur sapna uska adhura reh gaya. Zabardasti usse mandap mei bithaya. Aur mujh jaise gawar aur junglee insaan se shadi karwa di.
Hun mai jahil gawar junglee. Woh bhi yahi maanthi hai.Pehle toh usse laghtha tha maine usko zindagi bhar pareshan karne ke liye usse shadi ki. Nafrat karthi hai woh mujhse. Kaise khush reh payegi woh iss shadi mei yeh jaanthe hue bhi ki yaha kuch bhi waisa nahi hoga jiske sapne woh das saal se dekh rahi thi. Mai nah toh Dev jaisa hu aur naahi kabhi ban paaunga. Mai nahi hu uske layak.
Sabh kuch jaanthe samajthe iss majhburi ke rishtey mei bandhe rehna ka kya matlab?
Compromise karke iss rishtey ko nibhana chahthi hai. Aaise compromise ka kya fayda jab hum dono ko patha hai ki voh sach mei khush nahi hai. Uski khushi kuch aur hai. Yeh sabh adjustments karke bas voh khush rehne ki koshish karegi yah dikhawa. Apni khushiyon ki kurbani dekar meri duniya ko apnane ki koshish kar rahi hai.
Mujhe nahi karni koi compromise. Humesha se aise hi tha aur aise hi rahunga. Uske sapon ke Rajkumar jaisa kabhi nahi ban paunga. Aur naahi banna chahtha hu. Usko bahut samajhaya ke yeh compromise ke sapne chod de. Har tarah ki koshish ki usse yeh batane ke yeh junglee uske layak nahi hai. Par rishtey ko sudharne ki zidh pakad li usne. Bhagwan se ashirwad maange chali gayi.
Abh tuh batha kaise hone detha uski yeh mannat puri?
Usko apne aap se door karne ka ek mauka dhoond raha tha. Mil gaye uske dosth mandir ke bahar.
(Flashback)
*Shiva during the skirmishes*
'Meri Biwi ke saath internet pe photo daalega. Usko pani pilaegaa tuh. Godh mei uthegaa.'
Haah maara uske dostho ko. Issliye nahi kyunki mazak udaya mera.
Haah MERI BIWI bola. Issliye nahi ke mai Raavi ka pati hona ha hakh jatha raha tha. Joh mujhe apne maang mei sindhoor bharne ke layak nahi samajhthi, uska pati hone ka kya hakh jathungaa. Voh iss liye kaha ke yeh phoolkumari apne rishtey sudharne ke zidh ko chod de aur samajh jaaye ki 'ek junglee ki biwi' hona kya hotha hai.
Haah uski charitr par sawaal uthaya. Issliye nahi kyunki mujhe uspe vishwas nahi tha. Voh issliye ke bas abh yahi ek raastha bacha tha.
Abh ho gaya kaand.
Raavi ko bahut bura laga, gussa aaya aur usne apni dil ki baath bol dhi. Joh bhi usne kaha sahi kaha. Usse yeh samajh toh aagaya ki mujhe uski dosthon ki baathon se farakh padne lagi hai. Par yeh nahi samajh paayi kyun.
Pura Somnath jaantha hai Shiva junglee aur gawar hai. Mujhe iss baath par koi afsoos nahi. Log mere baare mei kuch bhi soche mujhe farkh nahi padtha. Aaj bhi nahi. Par agar yeh kahenge ki aise junglee nalayak ladke ne ek padi likhi khoobsurat dikhne wali ladki se shadi karke uski zindagi barbad kar dhi….yeh mujhe manzoor nahi hoga. Mujhe kisi ki barbadi ka kaaran nahi banna.
Dev se shadi karke Raavi khush toh hothi. Yaa kisi pade like gentleman ladke se shadi karke ek bade ghar ki milkin banthi. Mujhse shadi karke usko kya mila. Naa khushi naahi aisho-aaram.
Issliye usse azaadh kar diya iss majhburi ke rishtey se.
Yahi woh Sach hai joh dil mei daba ke rakha hai.
Yeh Sach mai kisiko batha nahi sakhtha Maa. Mujhe mahaan nahi banna aur naahi bechara. Bhabhi aur Gaumbi ko patha chal gaya toh voh mujhe samjhane ki koshish karenge. Raavi ko phir se manakar ghar wapas lekar aayenge. Yeh mei nahi chahtha. Apne sapon ko sach karne ka hakh sabka hotha hai. Raavi ka bhi hakh hai apne sapno ke Rajkumar se milne ki. Uske saamne puri zindagi padi hai. Aur woh apne layak ladke se shadi karke khush rahegi.
Galthi ki hai Raavi. Maafi maangne layak bhi nahi raha. Logon ke liye chahe mai jaisa bhi tha, tumhare charitr par sawaal uthake apne pariwar waalo ke nazron mei gir gaya. Ho sakhe toh maaf kar dena. Aaj ka din hum dono ke liye hi yaadgar hoga.
Aakhir ek khokla rishta nibhane se acha hai ki koi rishta hi na bache."
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He then took a deep breath, sat up,wished his mother goodnight and went back to his room.
"Haah adhoora mehsoos kar raha hu. Par waqt ke saath sambhal jaaunga.'
This was the sakhth SHIVA PANDYA. Hope you had a good time reading this.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Taarak Mehta Ka Ooltah Chashmah
Tum Se Tum Tak
