Is Pallavi really that wrong? - Page 5

Bhai yeh baat bhi sahi hai 🤔

IAMHope wrote:

"Every time I watch an Indian movie with a scene with alcohol there’s a warning about how alcohol ( over use) can be harmful or some such thing... I always thought of it as kinda silly.

I’m sure they mean it as a deterrent .

But I’ve never seen that warning/disclaimer/whatever come on for MHRW. I wonder why.

Raghav drinks too much. I mean a shot or two is ok but they show him *completely wasted* many times and that’s not OK imho."

There was a disclaimer when Raghav was driving drunk with Anjali standing up through the car roof holding her drink, just before he rear-ended Pallavi and they met for the first time. It was something like "This is fiction. Please follow all traffic rules." Nothing about drinking and driving specifically.

That time, Raghav was drunk and uninhibited enough to accost Pallavi with a misogynistic sneer that women can't drive, and then pour his drink all over Pallavi's textiles and drop his lighter on them. (Other than carrying that lighter and opening a cigarette to pour out smuggled diamonds, I don't think the show has portrayed Raghav as a smoker.) Raghav was again drunk when he came home after a visit to the shed where he kept the car from Mandar's accident, and he dismissed his driver - keeping his car - as soon as he got to the remote shed, implying that he drove himself home while drinking. There was no disclaimer on that occasion. In fact, it coincided with the comedic scenes of Jaya and Pallavi getting drunk.

I wouldn't mind if the show portrayed Raghav's excessive drinking as an obstacle to mutual respect in his marriage (as when he ruined Pallavi's cake and threw money at her for it) or as a risk to his safety and good behaviour (as when Farhad assumed that Raghav got drunk at the old age home, and Raghav said he stopped drinking as soon as Jaya told him not to embarrass her for two days). I don't like that the creative team has Raghav getting drunk as our cue to feel sorry for him, and his household just patiently puts him to bed and acts like everything's fine the next day.

Every time Jagadish Aṇṇā was on screen, there was a disclaimer that smoking or chewing tobacco is hazardous to your health. Hmm... whose character is more likely to be emulated by the hypothetical impressionable viewer - Jagadish Aṇṇā or Raghav Rao?

Here I go on a tangent again in this thread. Thanks for your patience.

Originally posted by: d.padmini

You have penned down everything perfectly. I wish sickand & his writer who has written this rotten burnt tadka daal wala story & pallavi's characterisation in this track would read these all solid points..

Originally posted by: ..sur..

Ok agree to everything but Pallavi doesn't know about Mandar right but Raghav does. He knows Mandar is a creep who is behind his wife and by creating this either and or situation he is letting him win.

If we want Pallavi to be sensitive, to understand Raghav's desires and needs then shouldn't Raghav be sensitive

He knows and he can see how much hold the Ds have on Pallavi that she easily gets influenced by them. Her smartness goes for a toss when it comes to Ds but still he is not being clever about it. Why not play it clever and beat Mandaar in his own game?
Remember during Sunki engagement, how cleverly Pallavi postponed their engagement because she knew that at that time Raghav was blind in his sister's love and won't listen to any logic or truth. Similarly, right now Raghav needs to be the clever one.

Here both situation is different. Pallavi could think & plan calmly about sunki because her relationship with raghav was not come in problematic situation, there was no fear to lose raghav but to deal with own wife's ex is not normal matter to raghav right now because here he is facing fear of losing Pallavi, he is experiencing with pallavi's breaking her promises which make him more weak emotionally & most important there is no support from her side so as to he can confidently plan against mandar. Those times Sunki never came between raghavi to break them hence Pallavi enabled easily to deal it but mandar has quite come between raghavi with the help of Pallavi which made raghav break down emotionally hence can't be able to plan against mandar calmly . Right now if we want to see raghav is planning against mandar pallavi's support is very much necessary as he is kinda collapsed emotionally because of pallavi's continuous insensitive acts toward him.

Originally posted by: d.padmini

i love u for writing this........👍🏼👏🤗

Originally posted by: ..sur..

Off-late all I can read in the forum is how Pallavi is taking Raghav for granted, how she does not value him or their marriage, how she is indifferent to his pain, how she is a trash/dumb/pathetic character, how she still left him even after knowing about his past and so on..

Yes, Pallavi is being taken on a ride and she should wake up and smell the coffee that Mandar is a psycho and VD is just emotionally blackmailing her.

Yes, she knows about Raghav's past and his fear of abandonment and she should be understanding when she chose to go the Ds BUT shouldn't Raghav be understanding too.

He knows about Pallavi's past and her over-attachment to the Ds. He knows how much she values them and still consider them as her mayka. She feels a sense of duty towards them like she needs to repay for all the love they gave her(a widowed DIL) and also he knows that Pallavi is at the Deshmukhs not for her ex-husband Mandar but for her Aai-Baba's son Mandar and there is a difference in that.

Raghav knows Mandar is a creep, he knows VD is a just selfish but rather than helping her see the truth, he is guilt tripping her.

If Pallavi is not doing her patni ka farz then I'm sorry even Raghav is not doing his pati ka farz. Rather than trusting her, helping her to get out of this emotional blackmail, he is adding misery to her already clouded mind

Also I want to ask everyone since when does trusting your partner has become taking him for granted?

Pallavi trusts Raghav, she trust that he knows that right now she is in a precarious situation and at the end of the she is PRR only but I don't think so Raghav trusts Pallavi and Mandar has picked that up very well and that's why he is able to make him insecure.

Raghav is far more shrewd than that Mandar and can easily play mind games with him but instead of doing that he is doubting Pallavi and letting Mandar win.

Im sorry if my views are against everyone but all I wanted to convey is that Pallavi is wrong but even Raghav is wrong too

As for him not trying to find out Pals reason for the weird behavior with Mandar that night yes he’s wrong there again . He saw red when he saw Mandar carrying and caressing Pals and lost his Brain somehow . On top of that Pals holding Mandars hand and that oldie stopping him from meeting his own wife made me insane . Yea he did wrong and his brain didn’t process the entire thing well . As for Pals when she came to know such serious mu happened why did she not try to discuss with him and sort it out . She had to stay Back to care for the Bandar bcuz she took an oath to her baba ? What kind of logic is that ? And if we talk about gratefulness this so called Baba of hers threw her out of the house when Rao gave her shelter . Gratefulness thora Udhar bhi to zaroori thi na ?

Last but not the least this is the same pallavi who saw sunny once she understood his character so well but she failed to understand Mandar ? How ? Infact Sunny helped her to find that necklace thief but still she was always against him but with Mandar after so many red Signals and inappropriate touches she still didn’t even feel little but suspicious ? Women have these 6th sense bcuz we’re born with it but her farz was so so important she decided to consume all and fulfill her Kartabya.

Sorry her character doesn’t make any sense to me anymore . I’m sure Makers are going to redeem her big time but still not sure if she’s ever gonna b the good old intelligent Pallavi again for us .

I haven't read thru all the comments on here. But just to reply to the OP:

First I think it's important to recognize what you or I, as the individual audience member, view as what is considered patni/pati farz. What is "ok" in a marriage to do, and what is not.

I get ITV is not the real world, but audience members do live in the real world, and are going to view a show with their own personal bias. Thats why there's so many varying opinions on what's happening on the show.

IMO, when two people marry, they are deciding to prioritize each other over all else. Except for maybe in an ER situation. I'll also say that I don't consider Mandar an ER situation, this man has had "memory loss" for 2 years now and was living just fine.

I've called Pallavi out (yet still an avid supporter of hers) several times about this track. She's wrong because she is not able to prioritize her husband and she actually doesn't see what she's doing wrong. It's just what Raghav said the other day - she can't forget that she has farz and relationships to Rao family & her current husband as well.

When you get married - it's a balancing act between your maayka and your husband/sasural. You can't forsake one over the other. When you leave, and decide to temporarily stay somewhere else, you don't go without consulting your husband.

I personally thought Pallavi was wrong to give so much importance to Mandar. It's not that she can't help. It's that she should NOT be at his beck and call. She would let him interrupt her time with Raghav, she would leave RR mansion and whatever they were doing there and go tend to Mandar. Even with Raghav's consent, she shouldn't have gone. I always say Raghav needs to communicate better, but also spouses should consider how their spouse would feel even while they give the go ahead for something. She should know Raghav well enough to see through his approval. She should not even want to go help because she's focused on her husband/ RR family, etc.

However, this is not the worst of her mistakes. It's when she promised SKB without even recognizing that it could take years for Mandar to get his memory back, without even discussing or formally letting R + Amma know what was going on, without even thinking about her own marriage. And then a day or two later, had the audacity to tell Raghav that he should have came and taken her. Did she forget about her promise to SKB? Did she forget she willingly left RR mansion? Did she forget that she was the one who constantly had to leave R to do something else?

I always ask this question - if she had children, and left them at RR, in order to tend to Mandar in the name of insaaniyat - would we all still ask if she was that wrong? I feel like majority of us would not. What mother would leave her child like that. So, why would leaving a husband be any different? Even if it's temporary. Raghav doesn't need her for caring for him like a child would, but he needs her as a husband needs a wife. Just like she needs him. So in what moral, ethical bubble was that an ok thing for a wife to do? Especially without telling him?

If Raghav left for a business trip, in the name of work ethics, without telling her, would we all not be like "that was wrong, how could he?"? Why is insaaniyat a "good" enough reason for her to forsake everything else that she holds so dear? It doesn't give her carte blanche to do anything she wants. Every relationship we have has farz in it that we have to maintain in order to maintain that relationship. Our farz isn't just towards our parents. It's to our husbands, siblings, extended family, the elderly, sasural, children, etc. And I think that's where Pallavi is wrong in her perspective/view on the matter. It's not about pyar vs. kartavya. It's legit, kartavya vs. kartavya. And she chose one over the other.

Also, it's not fair to pin things on Raghav as in 'why is he not being smart' or what was said about one intelligent and one unintelligent partner. He's the one that's been shafted essentially, yet we expect him to get over it so he can guide her? He tried, after making some mistakes, and look where it got him. It went in one ear out the other for her and then she tried to school him on pati farz. She's a grown woman, why was she able to use her brain about everyone else so far in the show, yet about this she needs Raghav to show her the light? I personally want Pallavi to be able to stand on her own two feet about D fam - she's done it before. There's no reason, besides convenient writing, why she can't do it again.

I've said this before - Raghav is a highly emotional person. He's only really shrewd when it comes to business (and thats why he's shrewd with Ved). But when it comes to those he loves? This guy is an emotional basket case. Why and how could he be that shrewd about Mandar off the bat? This is about his wife. If we thought he was torn up over his issues with his mom, pfh LOL. That is nothing in comparison to this.

Also, at the end of the day, even when she did all of this unintentionally, it doesn't negate that Raghav was hurt by her actions. Just because someone has good intentions, if the outcome still results in someone else getting hurt by them, then the onus is on that the person who messed up to apologize and recognize what they did wrong. It doesn't matter that she had good intentions, all that matters is Raghav was hurt by it.

And because she had good intentions, and because none of this was done on purpose or with malice, Raghav will forgive her easily, as he should. I don't believe that she needs a long redemption track. She just needs to recognize what she did wrong, apologize, and try be more balanced in her relationships.