She waited with bated breath, waiting for him to answer his phone. Her heart thudding frantically… what if he doesn’t answer? Then what will she do… 6th ring… 7th ring… he answers and says “hello” but doesn’t prolong the hello with a “how are you? Or do you need anything? ”and it hurts like hell that he doesn’t say anything more and just waits for herto say something… her Raghav would have asked about her or her needs or shared how he misses her… but this side of Raghav is like a knife to her soul.
“Is there something you want to talk about I need to get back to work...” she hears him say and realizes she hasn’t spoken and hurriedly tells her reason “Haan Raghav… I wanted to ask if you can come to dinner here on your way back from the office?” she asks and a silent follows her question and then she hears what she never wanted to hear in her life her Raghav making an excuse to be away from her… “No, I… I need to go straight home to have dinner with Amma. Ok I need to get back to work. bye”.
Her heart was breaking… is this what it feels like when the love of your life makes someone else their priority? She wanted to see him… beheld in his arms… feel the love flowing from his eyes… but it seems she has managed to damage it so bad that he has retreated into a shell from her. Her Raghav who never left a chance to speak to her or see her or show his emotions in front of her was now back to being a block of ice… cold and hard. The Raghav Rao he is in front of the world not her Raghav anymore.
Tears pricked her eyes she couldn’t understand how it had gone so terribly wrong… her anger had got the better of her when she took the decision to leave with baba and come to this house. She was angry she needed time to cool off and she thought by evening when she is back, she would be calmer and both of them could talk it through in their sanctuary… their bedroom in each other’s arms and everything would be alright.
But when has life ever gone according to her plans… baba had put her in an impossible situation by taking that vow from her… and she still has no idea why she agreed to that vow… she couldn’t see the old man who loved her like a daughter for 2 years protected her from the taunts of the world breaking down and begging for his son’s well being from her. She had to be greatfull for their love and support, it was her duty to do whatever she could for their wellbeing.
But now it’s costing her, her soul. She can not be away from Raghav he is her life line… her world… her universe… he is her reason for breathing. She had gone through something like this with Mandar when he was declared dead… she had cried and questioned fate and thought that the world hadended about one fine day she had got up and she started living again. It was more like she mourned but not for Mandar but for herself… she had mourned because she couldn’t have the life she dreamed of, she mourned because of her uncertain future, she mourned as the world taunted and called her a jinx. Yes she realized she had just mourned for herself.
But she knew if anything ever happened to Raghav, her heart would stop right there and then. Because there is no future for her without him. She had no ties to this world but him and if he were to leave, she would follow. That was how much she needed him and this silence that he has created between them was killing her. This pain of him distancing himself from her was 1000times more painful than what she felt at Mandar’s supposed death.
“Pallavi what are you making?” her chain of thought was broken by Mandar’s words. She didn’t turn to acknowledge him, she just said “Just some tea...”
“Ooh nice I would love to have tea now… actually Pallavi I love how your tea tastes, I have never tasted such tea…”
She cringed at his words and cut him off “Aayi taught me how to make it…” was it always like this?? Did his words always sound so untruthfuland sugar coated… she was not sure… she had always felt uncomfortable around him but she just put it down to the situation of first marriage second marriage etc… but now thinking back were it his words that made her feel uncomfortable…ooh her headache was intensifying…
“ooh ok… shall we have tea in the balcony? It’s such great weather?” she frowned
“I was going to have it with aayi, you can join us if you want…” She was actually hoping for some alone time. To sort out her thoughts she was going to give Aayi her tea and head towards the chath for some time.
“Yes ok” he said…
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She walked in to see Aayi asking Mandar something about how he used to be an ambulance driver with such a bad health condition? How did Dr.Ramya think he was capable to drive an ambulance if his health was so bad… She frowned… that’s soo true… ambulance driver is not an easy job it’s a high stress job… she heard Mandar mumble something like he was a good driver etc no clarity…
She left their tea tray on the table in front of them and turned to leave, when she heard Mandar say “Pallavi are you not joining us?” somehow this question really irritated her… and unknowingly she answered quite sharply…
“I need to talk to Amma… as her bahu it’s my job to make sure she is doing ok” don’t know why but she just wanted to say that she was someone else’s bahu.
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She took a sip of her tea on leaning on the wall of the chath and dialed Amma’s number… “Pallavi… how are you? Is everything alright? Do you need something?”
Tears of happiness came easily to her eyes hearing Amma’s love and concern through her questions… why God!! why had she left the people and place that loved and protected her and never judged or demanded anything from her.
She herself had brought this upon her… she took a deep breath and made a vow to herself she is not going to neglect the most important people in her life for some gratitude that she feels. She is going to fix it, because she can’t live without them now… it’s not a possibility.
“Amma can I come home for dinner?” she asked.
“Pallavi… this is your home beta… why are you asking me? Can’t wait to see you… I will cook that curry that you loved… and that pickle that you liked…” Pallavi didn’t hear much after that.. affection filled in her heart for Amma…and peace started to return to her heart at the thought of going back home and having dinner with him and a peaceful sleep in his arms.
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Hope you enjoy the read... just something to fill the weekend...
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee
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