Pandya Store|Episode Discussion#74|Rishita Cha Gayi (YELLOW ALERT) - Page 82

Originally posted by: Transference

Brilliant just brilliant!

I had written something on her abandonment long back

While we all are happy with the romantic moments, a part hidden in our hearts dreads the angst involved in Raavi-Shiva relationship. We love their fights, bickering and banter! Don’t we? However, the immense amount of unsurfaced emotions these two harbour haven’t even been touched upon as yet. I highly doubt, ITV would probably even find those and keep on putting them together under the garb of “Ek Chutki Sindoor” and parivar etc.

The real issue behind Raavi’s strange behaviour is emotional Abandonment.

She is undergoing an internal emotional crisis of abandonment. This abandonment generally leads to scar an individual with trauma and leaves an emotional imprint that affects her future choices, responses and is a real PTSD. She has experienced abandonment in 3 stages:

1. Childhood Abandonment with early death of parents:

Such kids often create an illusionary bubble of happiness around them when they receive too much love after that. The abandonment instead of being addressed is hidden under love and the person grows protected and in a fairy tale bubble of happiness.

2. Adulthood and Abandonment by her Emotional Cocoon of Security Dev

We see her being abandoned by her imaginary cocoon of security on the altar of her wedding day. She was the happiest and all her dreams came crashing down. A fatal reality check. Her behaviour during that trauma was self-defeat. Purely giving up.

3. Abandonment by Shiva: Her renewed sense of empowerment.

Raavi has experienced such an intense Abandonment related PTSD that the moment she got married to Shiva, she has started behaving like a pendulum oscillating between ‘fear of engulfment’ and ‘fear of abandonment’ from Shiva. Her worst fears coming true in the form of him leaving her.


What Raavi experiences is a form of Abandonment PTSD which is manifesting as intrusive anxiety when Shiva puts Sindoor on her, emotional hijacking on the slightest level of critique or suffocation due to sudden engulfment. Lashing out at Shiva gives her a sense of entitlement, empowerment and control. It helps her recover from low self-esteem which is triggered by her abandonment at the wedding altar.
Was she not good enough?
What could she have done better?

The low self-worth makes her seek comfort but she doesn’t get any and hence latches on to an unwilling partner. And, when the same partner, becomes a little willing, she lashes out because of an excessive need of control on her life.

Is it fair for Dhara and Gautam as elders to actually tell her that everything will get better or push a vulnerable person to another vulnerable person?

Her diminished sense of elf-esteem fills her with an intense need to nurture her ego to put herself on a pedestal. That’s how she finds her sense of self-worth again.

Her unpredictability stems from her trauma.

Why doesn’t Dev matter to her anymore?

It’s simply because he didn’t exist in her real world. Her relationship with Dev was fictional and imaginary. He didn’t exist as a real relationship. She was fixated with her sense of security and seeing Dev on the wedding altar like that jolted her into reality. Her lucid day-dreaming world came crashing. You can’t hold a grudge with an imagination. And, post her abandonment, all her emotions have been directed towards only 1 person-Shiva. Perhaps her only Real Relationship that existed with him all these years.

Btw, you must have noticed that certain people will go to lengths to get the acceptance from an avoidant partner.

All these years, in her perfect cocoon of love from everyone, there existed only 1 man who didn’t love her back. That was Shiva. Such dynamics in their relationship makes it extremely complex for them to understand whatever is happening to them.

There’s so much potential in their bond. You feel so much for them because they are much more to each other. They are objects of fixation for each other. Their world revolves around each other.

The fear of abandonment meets the fear of acceptance!

The walls this created aren’t that easy to break. Are they?

Ah ha, I have read this one before...

Originally posted by: Transference

Brilliant just brilliant!

I had written something on her abandonment long back

While we all are happy with the romantic moments, a part hidden in our hearts dreads the angst involved in Raavi-Shiva relationship. We love their fights, bickering and banter! Don’t we? However, the immense amount of unsurfaced emotions these two harbour haven’t even been touched upon as yet. I highly doubt, ITV would probably even find those and keep on putting them together under the garb of “Ek Chutki Sindoor” and parivar etc.

The real issue behind Raavi’s strange behaviour is emotional Abandonment.

She is undergoing an internal emotional crisis of abandonment. This abandonment generally leads to scar an individual with trauma and leaves an emotional imprint that affects her future choices, responses and is a real PTSD. She has experienced abandonment in 3 stages:

1. Childhood Abandonment with early death of parents:

Such kids often create an illusionary bubble of happiness around them when they receive too much love after that. The abandonment instead of being addressed is hidden under love and the person grows protected and in a fairy tale bubble of happiness.

2. Adulthood and Abandonment by her Emotional Cocoon of Security Dev

We see her being abandoned by her imaginary cocoon of security on the altar of her wedding day. She was the happiest and all her dreams came crashing down. A fatal reality check. Her behaviour during that trauma was self-defeat. Purely giving up.

3. Abandonment by Shiva: Her renewed sense of empowerment.

Raavi has experienced such an intense Abandonment related PTSD that the moment she got married to Shiva, she has started behaving like a pendulum oscillating between ‘fear of engulfment’ and ‘fear of abandonment’ from Shiva. Her worst fears coming true in the form of him leaving her.


What Raavi experiences is a form of Abandonment PTSD which is manifesting as intrusive anxiety when Shiva puts Sindoor on her, emotional hijacking on the slightest level of critique or suffocation due to sudden engulfment. Lashing out at Shiva gives her a sense of entitlement, empowerment and control. It helps her recover from low self-esteem which is triggered by her abandonment at the wedding altar.
Was she not good enough?
What could she have done better?

The low self-worth makes her seek comfort but she doesn’t get any and hence latches on to an unwilling partner. And, when the same partner, becomes a little willing, she lashes out because of an excessive need of control on her life.

Is it fair for Dhara and Gautam as elders to actually tell her that everything will get better or push a vulnerable person to another vulnerable person?

Her diminished sense of elf-esteem fills her with an intense need to nurture her ego to put herself on a pedestal. That’s how she finds her sense of self-worth again.

Her unpredictability stems from her trauma.

Why doesn’t Dev matter to her anymore?

It’s simply because he didn’t exist in her real world. Her relationship with Dev was fictional and imaginary. He didn’t exist as a real relationship. She was fixated with her sense of security and seeing Dev on the wedding altar like that jolted her into reality. Her lucid day-dreaming world came crashing. You can’t hold a grudge with an imagination. And, post her abandonment, all her emotions have been directed towards only 1 person-Shiva. Perhaps her only Real Relationship that existed with him all these years.

Btw, you must have noticed that certain people will go to lengths to get the acceptance from an avoidant partner.

All these years, in her perfect cocoon of love from everyone, there existed only 1 man who didn’t love her back. That was Shiva. Such dynamics in their relationship makes it extremely complex for them to understand whatever is happening to them.

There’s so much potential in their bond. You feel so much for them because they are much more to each other. They are objects of fixation for each other. Their world revolves around each other.

The fear of abandonment meets the fear of acceptance!

The walls this created aren’t that easy to break. Are they?

This was beautiful ❤️

Specially the last lines.u depicted their relation in a single line... Those two has serious psychological issues

Originally posted by: ShinyShine

Woh toh wese bhi nahi hota, people always wanted Shiva with Raavi.

But bhabhi toh abhi bhi beech mein hain.

Dhara bhabhima

Love interest nahi hain but Dev Rishita ke beech toh hain he and I am sure jab, matlab jab bhi kitne bhi mahino baad Raavi Shiva mein progress hoga tab woh kisina kisi wajah se beech mein hogi he.

Maa aur psycho premika me fark hota h na😆.....atleast Dhara won't fake pregnancy to get Raavi or Rishita out of Shiva's or Dev's life by creating misunderstandings and character assassination 🤣

Originally posted by: chulbul2111

Bechari aur kitna silent rahegi.....in last five episodes..she hardly spoke 5 lines🤣....ab wo bhi cheen loge to Alice ko berozgaar waali feeling aayegi😆

Raavi silent nahi invisible hain show mein that is the problem.

There is no screen space or importance being shown in the story.

If being silent can bring that impact then why not.

Alice should ask asking them she is getting wasted

Originally posted by: Scarysea

Hello Sathya I am Chiki

I am also a 20yr old medical student 😆from Odisha though.

Apparently coincidences are a very real thing.... 😄

Kung fu panda got it all wrong

Originally posted by: chulbul2111

Maa aur psycho premika me fark hota h na😆.....atleast Dhara won't fake pregnancy to get Raavi or Rishita out of Shiva's or Dev's life by creating misunderstandings and character assassination 🤣

Aree obviously difference hain.

Bohot zyada hain we were talking about similarities that's why.

Didi is a horrible and shameless person unka koyi competition he nahi hain.

Originally posted by: ShinyShine

Raavi silent nahi invisible hain show mein that is the problem.

There is no screen space or importance being shown in the story.

If being silent can bring that impact then why not.

Alice should ask asking them she is getting wasted

Alice abhi maze me chal rahi hai.....appearing in every episode will get her the money and no dialogues is giving her stress free chill time while having fun with Kanwar during work....paisa aur aaram hand in hand...who will protest until you are really very serious about you popularity🤣

Originally posted by: ShinyShine

Aree obviously difference hain.

Bohot zyada hain we were talking about similarities that's why.

Didi is a horrible and shameless person unka koyi competition he nahi hain.

Well that show was my favourite till the open drama about the past of ML in the hall😆....since then PS has replaced it.....but still I watch both the shows only....one for the pair and PS for the family part as it gives good family vibes.....didi ko sanskari ghoshit kar rakha hai parivaar ne...ab unka mangalsutra aayega tab dekhegi duniya unka roop🤣

I saw the rishita and Dev scene

Did she actually say that the whole family needs counseling👏

Iam sure CVs write rishitas dialogues after stalking here on India forums

Because rishita = viewers

And Dev said ki mein nahi expect karta ki tum hamari pagal family Ko ek hi din mein samjho 🤣

[/QUOTE

Rishita made my day today.

Counselling,financial stability,fertility clinic- all those words were just pure gold in itv culture.

Till this day, i have seen only one show where a character goes to therapist, that too a sony show.other channels dont even utter a word about mental health.. So i was pleasantly surprised that they actually uttered those words on screen today via rishita.

Rishita scene made my whole day.

I am really hoping she stand on her own feet oneday.

(Though, it sounded weird when rishita was oka in a abusive relation with her dad,her own house was toxic too)

About the age thing,well,i guess again its itv.

They showed dhara finishing her bcom at 19!so now she is 29!!

Why cant they show her 32/33?

Itv leads looks like 20 even after 20 years leap,so why not make dhara 32?She wont even look that bad as a 32 yeae old comparing to all ekta heroine.😆

But,this is itv!They have serious problem showing a lead over 30!specially female lead.

There is this one of my really fav & super popular show where they showed the elded brother's age was initially close to 30.his younger bro was five years younger.they both get married n all.then they decreased main lead's age so much gradually that it ended up looking like the younger brother was a minor of 17 years & had child marriage if u start thinking logics🤣

Lovely character analysis of raavi and her abandonment issues , and how she craves for love and the makers have hinted towards it so often the latest being the entry in her diary about she doesn't like when anyone talks to her rudely , she wants everyone to love her

So I think the creatives will address the issue or atleast let raavi vent it out when she will have her breakdown *fingers crossed*