ShiVi OS : Tere Dar Par Sanam
A/N:
The title is chosen because this idea occured to me when I heard or say reheard the original song recently. As to how far it is relatable, please do comment and let me know. This one is long (3531 words) and may have few typos here and there because I haven't proofread it. Please do let me know your views - It'll help me a lot to improvise wherever needed.
This may look incomplete but this is just a one shot based on a particular moment. There is more of Raavi throughout the story though I have included a small bit from Shiva's side as well.
Echoes. Hushed whispers. That big dark hallway. She moved ahead, trepidation coursing through her veins. Her forehead lined with sweat, her breaths came out in pants and her heartbeats beat to an irregular rhythm. Complete silence prevailed around her. Silence that was eerie. Silence that intensified the fear running within her. She gulped and looked around, her honeyed orbs scanning her surroundings for any danger but finding none. She continued treading on the path trying not to delve on the dark assumptions her mind was probing her with. And then she heard those voices again! They weren't loud. They were mere whispers followed by the chan-chan of anklets. She stilled in her place, dread taking over her entire being when she heard a laughter. A loud, evil laughter. The exposed part of her skin through the blouse felt cauterized with a sinister gaze but she dint dare to turn behind. The gaze seemed to scan her from top to bottom causing a strong feeling of revulsion within her. Her fists clenched as she began walking again, this time her pace faster. She just wanted to get out of the place as soon as possible.
But as she walked, she felt a cold wave of breeze brush past her ears as if whispering something in her ears. The touch of the breeze made a wave of unease pass through her, its touch sinister and unwanted. She felt tears sting her eyes, a plethora of emotions swiveling within her. A sudden wave of helplessness passed through her as she froze for a moment in her tracks. And then she started running! She ran unbothered about where she was heading to. She just wanted to leave the place as fast as possible. She ran and ran, following the corridor through its twists and turns, her pace picking up with the distance covered till she finally spotted a wooden door. Hope bloomed in her orbs and she ran faster to reach the door. But just as she reached the door, she felt herself being pulled back, causing her to land on the floor. Her hands instinctively clutched her head in pain and before she could even register what's happening, she felt herself being dragged down the same corridor she had run through. She yelped and shouted in pain but to no avail as she continued being dragged over the floor.
"No….no just leave me...no" she muttered, turning restlessly.
"No…no" her voice got louder
That evil laughter echoed throughout the surroundings again. And this time instead of those hushed whispers, she heard bloodcurdling screams all around her. She flinched at the voice, struggling to free herself from whoever was dragging her but she remained unsuccessful. And then, she was dragged and thrust forward with complete force
"Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!" she screamed and sat upright, panting and sweating. Ragged breaths left her even as her throat throbbed, letting out bouts of cough. She grabbed the glass of water placed on the cabinet beside and gulped it all in one go. Her heart still beat at an indecipherable pace and she felt that profoundly familiar ache in her head intensify by the minute!
It took her whole 5 minutes to calm down after which she tiredly rested her head back on the pillow. Tears flowed down her eyes incessantly even as she closed them and tried to get back to sleep but to no avail.
Fed up of the insomnia she got out of the bed and stood in the balcony, watching the dark, starless sky. The cool breeze refreshed her and finally brought her back to her original self. She settled on the wooden swing and swung gently, letting her mind wander as she did each time after such an episode.
Raavi Narayan was one of the top 5 psychiatrists in town, known to be exceptional in her field of work. She was calm, compassionate, a wonderful listener and a very cheerful person. The only tragedy in her life was losing her father when she 15 years old. It took her time to come out of that trauma but she did and after putting up a brave fight, fought her depression and trauma. That was when her wish to be a psychiatrist had grounded itself deep within her and her hard work combined with her brilliance and her mother's complete support brought about the Raavi she was today.
Her life was going perfectly well. Each day helping somebody out of their miseries or at least taking a step towards it added to her happiness, deepening her deep love for her profession more and more, if possible.
Everything was going well till that night a few weeks ago.
She was tired to the bone after a long day. Her head throbbed with pain and all she wanted to do was just collapse on her bed and cuddle in her lavender comforter but she had to refresh and eat as well. She dropped her bag on the floor and undressed as she moved towards the bathroom. Turning on the shower, she took a nice, long shower and slipped into her night robe. Making herself some Maggie, she gulped it down and took the medicine for her headache. Finally done with everything, she slipped into her bed and drifted off to sleep.
A loud clang echoing from somewhere far frightened her. She curled more into herself, her frail form shivering and drenched in sweat. Her hands shook even as she placed them on her mouth to muffle the chattering of her mouth in extreme fear, scared that it'll reverberate in the stark silence around her and alert the one she's saving herself from! Darkness in its zenith embraced her surroundings, threatening to engulf her as well - the last ray of hope left for the devastated who were now in ruins. The red stains on her white garment and limbs had now dried, imprinting her failure and loss on her being, threatening to envelope her pure soul in dark blankets of sin and regrets.
She turned restlessly in her bed, sweat beads lining her forehead.
Loud footsteps reverberated in the silence, causing her to still completely in fear. She sat frozen like a statue, bereft of a single movement. The sound of the footsteps increased profoundly, an ominous aura radiating around, reaching her as well. She closed her eyes and prayed. Closing more into herself, she chanted few hymns in her mind, hoping for them to work but to no avail. Before she could do anything, she felt something against her neck and her eyes snapped open!
"Noooooooooooooooo!!!" she woke up with a jerk and hit the floor as she tumbled off the edge of the bed, having reached there while turning restlessly. It took her a few moments to overcome the disorientation she felt after which she grabbed the water from her bedside cabinet and gulped it down.
15 mins later,
She sat propped against the bed rest thinking about whatever had happened. She had never had any history of nightmares. Throughout the time she was battling her trauma and depression, she had remained numb and drowned, insane at some moments even but she never suffered from nightmares. Over the past few days, she couldn't spot any incident which could trigger a nightmare. Her focus then went on to what she witnessed in the nightmare. Her brows furrowed in utter confusion. The kind of nightmare she witnessed had no relation whatsoever to anything that has occurred in her life. She knew nightmares were usually related to inner fears and subconscious memories but the context of the nightmare somehow dint make sense to her, be it the background or it in its entirety. Being a psychiatrist herself, she decided not to ignore this since she knew how ignored symptoms led on to cause major problems. She dint want to risk this. So she consulted her colleague cum best friend Rishita who was also baffled by this and they went on to follow the necessary steps. Yet even after a week, they hadn't reached a proper conclusion and the nightmare repeated itself thrice before the completion of a week, following no particular pattern in its occurrence.
She sighed deeply. She had to inform Rishita about this. This was the first time after the commencement of these nightmares that she was seeing a different nightmare than the one she had been till recently.
********
Science is something which baffles, pulls, drives to delve and shapes a person studying it. Staying in the line of medical science, Raavi's entire mindset had shaped that way. She did not believe anything which science couldn't prove. She wasn't an atheist though. She was just neutral towards the notion of God or the Omnipresent Almighty. This was precisely why when Rishita suggested visiting her husband's friend who was a medium, Raavi outright denied. It had been 3 months since and she hadn't got any relief despite the treatment being followed. There had been no productive results or revelations even after hypnotism (was what she believed)
"Raavi, ek baar try karne me harz kya hain? Yeh tu bhi jaanti hain har cheez ka jawaab since nahi de paata. Humne sab try karke dekh liya na. Phir bhi kuch asar hua? Nahi na! Phir? Aur main guarantee le rahi hoon ki isse zyaada chances hain iss sabke jad tak pahunchne ke! Woh bahut accha hain! He's done wonders man! Please maan jaa!"
"Rishita main yeh nahi keh rahi ki woh acche nahi hain ya aur kuch! Main bas yeh keh rahi hoon ki mujhe inn sabme yakeen nahi hain! Haan science doesn't have answers to all questions, main maanti hun. Par mere liye aisi cheezon pe yakeen karna namumkin hain!"
"Jab tak tum khud jaake woh dekh nahi lete, woh miracle witness nahi kar leti, tumhe pata kaise chalega? Science me bhi, we perform a number of experiments, brainstorm on the results, go ahead even when everybody surrounding us don't believe us! Yeh bhi waisa hi hain! Tumhe bas ek baar chalna hoga mere saath waha. Ek baar mil lo usse. Phir agar tumhe sahi nahi lag raha toh hum turrant laut jayenge! Main iske baad kabhi nahi poochungi tujhse! Please Raavi!"
Raavi looked confused. She couldn't decide if she should listen to Rishita because though her words were convincing, a weird sensation spread within her. She stood contemplating when she heard Rishita say
"Please maan jaa na Raavi! Tu milegi na Shiva se, main yakeen se keh sakti hoon, tujhe isme vishwaas hojayega"
Raavi stilled, the name "Shiva" evoking something within her. She shook her head and looked towards Rishita.
"Theek hain" Raavi nodded to which Rishita smiled widely and hugged her tightly.
******
Sitting in the car, peeking out of the window, Raavi was lost in her own thoughts and doubts. The turn her life had taken with these recurrent nightmares had baffled, intrigued and troubled her all at once. She wasn't sure of what she was going to find once she got there. She had no idea if giving this a shot was even worth it. But she was willing to do this because of Rishita. If Rishita believed they could find the reason behind these nightmares, their significance and the reason they aren't curable using the regular treatment methods by visiting this person, she will surely give this a try.
Ajeeb daastan hain yeh
Kahan shuru kahan khatam
Yeh manzilen hain kaunsi
Na woh samajh sake na hum
The song played, drawing Raavi's entire attention to it, pulling it off those thoughts. The words seemed so relatable, as if made for her own situation.
"Manzil chahe jo bhi ho, we are with you Raavi" Rishita said holding her hand when she noticed the impact the song had on Raavi to which Dev too nodded from the front.
"Haan Raavi. Tu fikar mat kar. Mujhe poora yakeen hain ki ek Shiva hi hain jo tumhe iss sab se nikaalega" Dev said.
"Thanks Dev Bhai! Thanks yaar!" Raavi said genuinely.
"Chup kar! Thanks bolke paraya kar rahi hain hume? Ab yehi dekhna baaki reh gaya tha!" Rishita pouted.
"Accha accha bas kar meri drama queen! Nahi bolungi thanks" Raavi said and all giggled.
Rishita smiled, relieved seeing Raavi smile. She wasn't unaware of her turmoil or doubts and troubles, but she was convinced enough that this had to be done!
After whatever that had been revealed to her during Raavi's hypnotherapy session, she had realised she had to take a route different from whatever they had been taking and that these nightmares had a specific significance and were haunting Raavi for a particular reason. And she also knew she had to do it as fast as possible because the increase in intensity of these recurrent nightmares was taking a toll on Raavi's health! This had in turn intensified her worries and she had brainstormed to come up with a solution but was largely unsuccessful.
It was later, in a moment of epiphany, that she had remembered Shiva!
Shiva was her husband Dev's best friend. He was a teacher by profession but was also a medium to communicate with the otherworldly. He had received this rare gift at a young age and after his mother's demise, this had become his mission to help anybody who needed it! And somewhere Rishita felt he would have all the answers they were seeking.
She had spoken about this to Dev who had instantly agreed. He had complete faith that Shiva would have the answers to the questions they otherwise wouldn't have the answers to. After all, he himself had been a live witness of his unbelievable capacity!
******
"There is no death, only a change of worlds."
-Chief Seattle
The quote had stayed in his mind since the first time he had read it and that had happened to be when he was about 14. He sighed as he remembered how that quote had pulled him towards a story quoting it and how that had transformed things for him vastly by helping him recognise what he held within! His mission though had become clear at a later date.
His childhood had been hard with his mother struggling to make two ends meet for the two of them. He had wanted to help her too and hence had taken up odd jobs as well. He had no one else to call family and so his mother was his everything. With her around, he hadn't recognised the amount of loneliness he held shrouded within him which is why her untimely death came as a huge jolt to his entire being! Unable to process this loss, he had gone ahead to end his life as well but something which occurred that moment motivates him to live on and that became the mission and purpose behind his existence.
And today as he stood gazing at the peak visible from his window, he could hear the words repeat over and over again in his mind. At the stage he was, he knew even when something seemed trivial, it had complete potential to hold importance and hence he stood pondering over this. His sixth sense surely said something was surely going to happen!
*****
It was a long journey of 5 hours after which they finally reached their destination. Raavi stepped out of the car and mildly stretched her stiff back. Then she looked around and a smile formed on her visage. The majestic mountains and the lush greenery seemed extremely appealing and beautiful. The cool breeze felt refreshing and she could feel her insides light up with positivity and calm down with serenity. Something in the air felt different! Different and profoundly familiar! Before she could ponder over it, she heard Rishita speak from the other side of the car.
"Hahhhh! Finally reached! Chal Raavi!" Rishita said extremely tired from the journey. Her nausea due to pregnancy hadn't helped her one bit during the entire car journey and all she wanted to do was take a shower and sleep cosily for as long as she could. Her one hand caressed her belly which was yet to grow considering she was just in her third month.
"Haan pahunch gaye! And you know what you have to do now! You and chotu both need enough rest!" Raavi said and Rishita nodded, pouting. The two began walking towards the only house present there even as Dev followed the two, holding the bags.
******
This house was his abode. His solace. After his mother's demise, he had fallen all lonely. He had met Dev only years later. Before that, he was all lonely and that is how he had habituated himself to survive. He was a loner and that habit stayed imbibed within him because of which he preferred to be away from the world as much as possible. He dint mind travelling 4 hours a day to reach the city where he took tuitions. Plus, being a medium, this was a perfect location to go about the process.
Each corner of this house he had set up with his own hands. In its entirety it was a simple house but for him, it was akin to his own child he had decorated and set up with warmth and affection.
The walls were painted grey, a bleak colour according to many but he still loved the colour. Grey had always been his favourite colour, maybe because it symbolically represented reality. The only room in this house which wasn't painted grey was the room where he conducted the procedures to interact with the otherworldly. This room was painted mahogany.
The furnishings of the house were simple too with those only present which were necessary. He had a few souvenirs, photos and mementos which he had beautifully kept in the place they were. That room too was furnished in a simple fashion with only a table, few chairs, a mattress and a shelf.
The aura of the entire house felt akin to the serenity one experiences when one enters the temple.
He was just looking around to deviate his mind from the sudden restlessness it felt when he heard a knock on the door.
*****
Raavi walked behind slowly even as her eyes scanned through the surroundings again. The weird sensation coursing through her had her restless. Suddenly she felt as if she could feel and hear everything around so profoundly, right from Rishita's groans of tiredness and cranky rants of impatience to Dev's gentle words to the sound of insects to the distant tune of a bird's chirrups! It was as if the air surrounding her had changed.
Tere dar par sanam
Chale aaye……
Tu na aaya toh hum
Chale aaye……
She felt the song play in her head. She had heard this song only once before yet the impact it was having on her at the present moment was too different from the first time she had heard it. At the present moment, it felt as if the lyrics were telling something to her. She heard footsteps approaching the door from the other side and her heartbeats elevated on their own. A melancholic feeling engulfed her tinged with a strangely profound anticipation and intensifying restlessness. Her eyes were fixed to the door, her hands fidgeting and toes curled inside her shoes. The song repeated itself in her mind this time, more louder than the initial distant sound.
The sound of the bolt being opened and the doorknob turning increased the plethora of emotions pounding within her and then the door opened completely to reveal a young man dressed in kurta - pyjama, his hairs and his orbs jet black. She watched his continuously, an overwhelming emotion coursing through her even as she saw his orbs glow up with surprise, recognition and warmth, all in tune with the other!
*****
Shiva was pleasantly surprised seeing Dev at his doorstep. A wide smile formed on his face and his pools filled up even as he pulled Dev into a hug. The two were seeing each other after years and this emotional reunion brought tears to the eyes of all the onlookers. He broke apart and the two enquired about each other at the same time and laughed at their age old habit of speaking at the same time. His eyes then moved to a beaming but tearful Rishita. He smiled at her and pulled her into a side hug.
"Kaisi ho Bhabhi?" he asked
"Theek hoon. Tum kaise ho?"
"Main badiya"
"Good"
The two chuckled and parted from the hug. It was after this that his eyes fell on Raavi who had been watching him continuously, right from the time he had stepped out of the house. His eyes then met hers! As soon as they did, his orbs softened and her orbs gained a different lustre altogether
Both their eyes filled up more, an undecipherable yearning floating in them which felt tinged with satiating euphoria.
"Vidhaan"
"Vidhisha"
The two whispered together, lost.
Tere dar par sanam
Chale aaye
Aaj barson baad
Ek duje ke saamne phir aaye
Tarsi nigaahein
Puratan yaadein phir band darwazon pe dastak degi
Jiske khoj me hum tere dar par aaye, wahi hamari kahani purn karegi!
Love,
PSR
Edited by Ps143 - 4 years ago
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