Is pallavi really wrong? - Page 2

I think both are wrong. If it was vice a versa I would totally blame Raghav. Imagine if Raghav’s ex wife had gotten up from dead and he insisted on living at her place leaving Pallavi behind, I don't think it would be acceptable in any way.

Here Pallavi also needs to trust Raghav if he says that Mandaar’s intentions are not right. She needs to ask him why he thinks so and what can they do to resolve this. Raghav’s insecurities mainly emanate from the fact that Mandaar is her ex and a Deshmukh. He knows that person is wrong and also the whole Deshmukh clan has this utmost capability to emotionally blackmail Pallavi which is exactly what happened today. Raghav’s fears are not totally wrong. Though I agree he needs to trust Pallavi more about her decision making ability and her love. He trusts her that she would never break his heart but he doesnt trust if she can boldly say NO if her aayi and baba demand her for their son.

Originally posted by: Priya516

I find that it’s not finding fault with the character but more so , why as women we are not able to connect with Pallavi. As a woman I want to be able to root for her and feel the emotions that Pallavi is going thru but that is not the case.. I feel that she is miles from where we all are as women.. just as an example in yesterday’s episode as a married woman I would have said let me discuss with my MIL and husband and get back to you about coming over .. if not that at least an eye contact to get their approval.. this is something any generation of women do Also, we look for expressions and body language changes in our husbands even though they say everything is good. Raghav was showing it clearly that he is not happy with what’s going on and she chose to ignore it. I think it’s from the beginning her going over board with deshmukh have always been something that I could not relate to. As married women we kind of bridge the gap between in-laws and mayka and she not acknowledging that is something that I could not relate to. If they had showed at least a video call of her talking to her brother and SIL would have helped us. Her not having that conversation with Kirthi about the photo shoot disaster also is a let down..

I think these small conversations or expressions would have made us connect better . I do agree that by helping Mandhar would give her the much needed closure and help her move on with her life with a clear conscience but the way she goes about doing it is something that I am unable to connect to where she makes promises without consulting her husband to live somewhere else and her husband has no say in it .. we are modern women but we wouldn’t make these kinds of one way decisions without consulting with our husbands.. marriage is a commitment and there is no “I” but only “We”. And that applies to both.. Also we kinda of agree with Raghav as his character has been like that from the beginning and we have gotten used to it and we root for Raghav since we understand his character and Sai has done an excellent job in making us root for him..

I am just expressing my thoughts please don’t take it any other way. Open to all your replies

Agreed

I am not married and even I understand this . Whenever you take a decision that impacts more lives than just your own.....you have to take into consideration the people who are likely to bear wid the consequences of your decision. When your life is connected to so many......how do you just take a decision all by yourself ?? Dts where I find her wrong.

This is what I was saying in another post too. Sometimes you hv to read between the lines , you hv to hear what is unsaid. Communication doesnt just mean words .....it also means understanding silences .

I don know about others but she is always partial towards deshmukhs and never once taken into account the feelings of Raos…

be it Amruta abortion case she tried to shield her even at the expense of her self respect

she married Raghav for Nikhil

be it her so called kaku BWA , she has a full fledged list of kaands but is not ready to send her to jail even though she did heinous crime as clicking obscene pictures of a girl and get her jailed under false charges to malign their reputation…doing property fraud… theft and blackmail

when She got a small hint that Kirti might have hit Mandar and ran away, she immediately wanted to put her behind bars even though Raghav has taken him to the hospital, was stable and went missing after he left hospital… and Kirti is the same friend who used to help her with accounts and even sheltered her when the so called trashmukhs threw her out..

openly defying Her current husband and going to live with her ex husband with no fix time of return…

she had, she is and she will always prioritize Deshmukhs over Raos

so yes for me she is not mahaan…she is wrong…

Originally posted by: Priya516

I find that it’s not finding fault with the character but more so , why as women we are not able to connect with Pallavi. As a woman I want to be able to root for her and feel the emotions that Pallavi is going thru but that is not the case.. I feel that she is miles from where we all are as women.. just as an example in yesterday’s episode as a married woman I would have said let me discuss with my MIL and husband and get back to you about coming over .. if not that at least an eye contact to get their approval.. this is something any generation of women do Also, we look for expressions and body language changes in our husbands even though they say everything is good. Raghav was showing it clearly that he is not happy with what’s going on and she chose to ignore it. I think it’s from the beginning her going over board with deshmukh have always been something that I could not relate to. As married women we kind of bridge the gap between in-laws and mayka and she not acknowledging that is something that I could not relate to. If they had showed at least a video call of her talking to her brother and SIL would have helped us. Her not having that conversation with Kirthi about the photo shoot disaster also is a let down..

I think these small conversations or expressions would have made us connect better . I do agree that by helping Mandhar would give her the much needed closure and help her move on with her life with a clear conscience but the way she goes about doing it is something that I am unable to connect to where she makes promises without consulting her husband to live somewhere else and her husband has no say in it .. we are modern women but we wouldn’t make these kinds of one way decisions without consulting with our husbands.. marriage is a commitment and there is no “I” but only “We”. And that applies to both.. Also we kinda of agree with Raghav as his character has been like that from the beginning and we have gotten used to it and we root for Raghav since we understand his character and Sai has done an excellent job in making us root for him..

I am just expressing my thoughts please don’t take it any other way. Open to all your replies

I think this is the issue that I have as well. I love Pallavi, truly. I love both her and Raghav equally. But for some reason I find it so difficult to understand her. Sometimes I do, but often I find myself criticizing her and questioning her (not bashing) decisions so I can try to break down and understand her motives.

I find it hard to understand how she's so careless (now) about her role as a wife? Raghav, even when he was wrong was still trying to maintain his role as a husband (Keerti situation - he, despite how dumb he was about it IMO, turned himself in so he could still say that he was supporting his wife. So she could have some kind of closure. It's not that he was right or even really helping her bc she knew he was lying, but his gesture is still what it is - a gesture of supporting his wife as best he could). I was able to give Pallavi more of a pass/ understanding up until yesterdays episode. The whole kassam and how she let herself be pressured into it. All she has to do is say no. And if she can't muster up the courage, say, I will discuss it. What could he do? He's some 60+ yr old man, you're telling me Kaka couldn't have pulled them apart? Where's Nikhil when you need him? How does she just ignore her husband's needs (and her own) to serve the unwarranted and extreme needs of her maayka? Did she think Raghav would sit around and always be there for her? Did she think she's some kind of magic charm for Mandar and concentrated hours of time will somehow quickly jog his memory? Is there any scientific backing to her thinking?

IDK maybe its because I grew up in a culture where once a woman marries, her husband becomes her #1 priority that I view things differently. Several of my cousins are married and i can tell you the ones who are the happiest are the ones who keep their spouses happy first. The ones who run to their maayka any chance they get are the ones with unhappy marriages. And of course, there's a balance, I'm not saying neglect your maayka to please your husband. But she's put Raghav so far down her list, it's hard to imagine how she's in the right?

It doesn't matter the cause of why she's helping, who she's helping. It's more so about how she never spoke about it (staying at D house) with her husband. I for sure thought she would discuss it with Raghav. But nope. I got really disappointed about that. I get she's angry with him for the tracker stunt, but living somewhere else? How do you leave without telling your husband how long you'll be gone for? What kind of marriage is that? I'm not saying she needs to constantly tell him her whereabouts, but when it comes to staying overnight, yeah he needs to know. Where's her importance for her husband? Why does she allow her humanitarianism ruin her relationships?

She also essentially is putting Raghav in a tight spot. I know a lot of people are like why did he give his approval several times. I too think that. At the same time, just how Pallavi gives into her family, Raghav gives into Pallavi. He lets her run their relationship and their boundaries, etc. He can see how much she wants to help, how can he say no to her? Would you really stop your s.o. from helping someone if they were that eager to? Wouldn't you be scared of what your s.o. thought of you? Esp in a new relationship? I think he should've spoken up regardless, but I understand why he faked his approval just like how I understand why Pallavi wants to help Mandar so much.

I think they're both wrong in the way they chose to handle it. Specifically with regards to Pallavi:

Ignoring what we know about Mandar, to go out like that, even with your husband knowing, isn't the best move.

If it was any random man, there would be less of an issue. But this is her ex. Someone who she waxed poetic about to Raghav, her current husband. I'm not going to call her a cheater or anything bc that's taking it too far. I'm 100% confident she only loves and will only be with Raghav. But its the impression and optics she's giving out. It's not good.

She can be open and reassure Raghav all she wants but until its' fully backed up with action, he's always going to remain insecure because words are just words - they hold no real value in these kinds of situations.

IF she had been helping Mandar but still giving Raghav & Rao family her priority and undivided attention - then yes she wouldn't be wrong at all bc that would've shown she's doing her best to maintain both of her "duties" (its another debate all together whether Mandar is a real farz for her or not - I don't he is at all). But she has not been able to do so and that's not something to be glossed over. ESPECIALLY now that she's decided to stay at D house without even discussing it with anyone from her current family. She's an adult. People aren't deciding her schedule for her. People can emotionally manipulate you at any time and you won't even realize it happening. But the decisions you make, as an adult, even during that time are all on you. Everyone gets that Pallavi feels bad for D fam / Mandar & feels emotionally tied to them and a sense of obligation. That doesn't absolve her poor decision making though. Just like how knowing about Raghav's insecurities and impulsivity doesn't absolve him of his decisions either.

In this mandar track till now I have not found any fault of raghav. It's only pallavi who is messing up not only her happily married life but also raghav's life. Here point is come that why raghav didn't tell about 7 days challenge her before. I am sure even raghav told it before pallavi would not stop to go to mandar to give faltu excuse of his mental issue etc etc. Was it really late that raghav finally disclosed her about challenge. No! But it didn't make any impact in pallavi. She is yet not thinking mandar can be a very wrong as person.

About raghav 's insecurity it's quite right. Because he himself many times heard from pallavi that how much pallavi was regretting for not to get chance to accomplish her nuptial life with mandar, how much she was in agony to lose mandar, raghav himself saw pallavi's desperation, determination, stubbornness to punish mandar's murderer. After all these before his eyes how raghav will be considered wrong if he feels insecured? Yes pallavi has promised him multiple times that she won't allow mandar to come between them but next day she again gives priority to mandar over her promises to raghav.

Only problem in raghav is after converting into sugary lover boy he has almost forgotten his dongiri. Till now he has not given 4/5 tight punches to mandar & has not stood before before pallavi with solid questions.

I'm not completely getting why & how even mandar is her responsibility. The guy who left her on their 1st marriage night how come this person can be her responsibility!