Chapter 2: Solemnity of souls
You sleep peacefully, all the pain erased,
I could spend a lifetime watching you,
But,
Wake up my beloved; look at me,
I need deliverance from this ache,
The separation has been too long,
Our love blossomed,
This is no time to sleep...
The morning announces its arrival in a gracious way, there is always hope for a better tomorrow. Lying on a hospital bed, seemingly better than the previous five days, Raghav slowly opens his eyes and feels a warm hand clasped in his palm. He had been in and out of consciousness, slightly aware of his condition, after all this was not the first time. His eyes slowly meet hers, concern and relief sweeping over her tired face.
"How long have I been here?" he asks slowly, trying to get up,
"It's been five days, but you'll be fine", she speaks softly while making her way to the foot of the bed, elevating him slightly.
"Pallavi?"
"You shouldn't be trying to get up, I'll call for the nurse", she speaks, without looking at him.
She heads out, not wanting to address the circumstances that led him to the hospital, a slight guilt burning in her for taunting his love, lest she knew that he treaded on a fragile frame of mind. Farhad had arrived after hearing about his condition from the doctors. He was listed as the emergency contact, which swept her with several questions about what happened to the only family he had. Why would he not list his mother or sister as his emergency contacts and why were they not informed about his condition?
Frightening facts about his health were revealed to her in the past few days. Who would have thought of such a sturdy, head strong man to have suffered clinical depression and episodes of severe anxiety? One would assume he was doing just fine going by the success he achieved in the past two years.
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'Pallavi, has Anna woken up?" asked a concerned Farhad who almost ran into her while she walked unseeingly. Farhad was the most loving friend anyone could ever ask for, standing by Raghav through thick and thin.
"Yes, he has. He looks much better than he did yesterday. The doctor has just gone in to check on him" she smiled at him, a man she came to see as her brother.
"Thank God!" beamed Farhad.
"Can I ask you something Farhad, please tell me the truth" spoke Pallavi, slowly steering Farhad to the seats.
"Yes, please do, I'll try to be as honest as possible" spoke Farhad in all earnest.
"Why is no one else here? I mean his mother and sister?" asked Pallavi out of the curiosity that did no let her catch a wink of sleep.
"You must have known that they were already estranged, but things got worse after you left. They found out what he did and swore to never see him again. Since then, he tried but he gave up when...."
"When? Please do go on Farhad"
"He gave up trying to win them back when he found out that Kirti was married off a few months after her wedding. It broke him....Anna has been sinking deeper into the hole he dug for himself on that fateful night", he sadly spoke.
"But.." Pallavi tried to speak when the doctor walked out.
"How is he?" they both asked collectively.
"He is doing better, he will recover in a few days but this was not his first episode of a breakdown as you must knw. You have to be careful, he's not strong enough to bear another similar episode. Keep him away from emotional turmoil" spoke the doctor, with an obvious tone, "You may go in now" he added as he walked away to attend to another patient.
"You go ahead, I'll wait here", said Farhad, understanding her plea.
"Thank you Farhad, for everything" she said while slowly opening the door and walking into the room where her beloved sat in silence, lost in thought.
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"What are you thinking?" she spoke, trying to lighten the moment.
Raghav looked at the woman before him and his heart was filled with the warmth that was missing for several years, wondering how someone could be so kind and generous as she was, wondering how God chose her for him, angry at how destiny played out their union, covered in pain, hurt and tears, fearful of what the future holds for them. A myriad of emotions passed through his mind, playing at the strings of his fragile heart.
"When did you realize that you loved me, Raghav", Pallavi spoke gently, taking his hands in his. Her straightforward approach made him smile, knowing that she has not changed one bit from the woman she was a few years ago. While gazing into her curious orbs, he let out a content sigh, for the moment was finally here when he will tell her the extent of his love; a moment he waited for excruciatingly.
Holding her gaze and strengthening his hold of her hands, but gently, he led her to sit on his little bed, facing him. She obliged, waiting with abated breath for an answer she sought even before he spoke of his love.
How it is that lovers recognize each other even without speaking of their love,
Surely, God created love in the expansion of His infinity,
Beyond reason and proof, yet standing strong as the ultimate truth of souls.
Just like a drunk man cannot differentiate between water and liquor,
Lovers drunk in love ask not for logic,
Let the lovers be...
"I don't remember a time when I did not love you, Pallavi, " spoke Raghav, after moments of profound silence, Looking into her eyes mirroring his tears, he nudged her to come closer, his heart aching with the immense love it held in for his entire existence. Her head on his heart, she lay by his side, listening to his steadily beating heart where her soul resided, all the while trying to draw semblance of his uninhibited confession, her heart aching with the sheer purity of his love.
"When did you realize that you loved me, Pallavi?", it was his turn to slowly nudge her with his curiosity, thoughts which never left him since he heard her speak of her love, albeit in dire circumstances.
Without leaving him, she spoke gently.
"I realized on that fateful night, Raghav" she spoke, without flinching. Raghav had taken note of her calm aura ever since he found her, astounded by the sheer internal strength she possessed, for she did not waste away as he did in spite of bearing the brunt of his unsound decision, in spite of being alienated from her family. She never ceased to amaze him; his beloved is indeed God sent.
"The night I devastated your existence? That night?" he asked, shocked by her confession.
"Yes", she said, this time getting up and facing him once again.
"Love does not come knocking at your door on your volition, Raghav. We can chose to neglect it, refute it, bury it under the darkest corners of our hearts, but it survives the harshness of our denial. So did mine, only for you", she spoke, her words disarming his soul.
"Then why did you leave? Why did you go so far? You should have hurt me back as I hurt you", he spoke painfully, her truth deepening his guilt.
"The disgust in your eyes was repulsive, I couldn't insult myself by staying on", she spoke, as if in a trance, living that night one more time.
"You say you love me, but will you be able to forgive me for what I did?" Raghav asked, holding her hands in his, almost begging for her forgiveness. The complication of this love and the crossroad they have found themselves at teared him up again, thinking of whether or not he could forgive himself for the hurt he caused her. Lost in his thoughts, he heard her speak, which knocked the breath out of him,
"I already forgave you.....", she said without hesitating.
His wordless probe prompted her to continue, but as she took note of his erratic breathing, a momentary fear gripped her, worrying about his condition, but he composed himself almost immediately, urging her to continue, almost as if it was now or never.
"I forgave you.....when I found you sprawled on the cold floor"
"You came back?", he asked, almost out of breath.
"I did...you were lying lifeless on the floor. I called Farhad to take you away..." cried Pallavi, unable to relive the grueling moments when the only man she ever loved was at a threshold of life and death, a feeling that tore her soul apart.
Her revelation was devastating, yet ecstasy made its way into his heart, a dichotomy he was not used to. The gravitas stirred feelings of immense love, respect and gratitude. Unable to put a finger to the most intense feeling out of this myriad, he pulled her in for a bone crushing hug, not wanting to ever let go of her.
Let the tears seep into broken hearts,
Heal the wounds as you cry in surrender,
Release the pain, let it fade out,
With love and forgiveness,
Reside in your lovers heart,
This time, forever.
The next words he spoke shot her eyes wide open, the sheer suddenness numbing her mind, yet her heart was racing with contentment.
"Marry me, Pallavi", he whispered in her ears.
She welcomed his proposal by yielding deeper into his embrace, not wanting to ever let go of him.
Souls yield to love,
Destiny will find it's master,
Futile are the attempts of caging love,
The wings will unfold one day,
Love will take flight,
Amidst all chaos,
Against all reason,
Love is limitless, and so is the journey,
Until soulmates find each other.
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That's all for chapter 2.
Chapter 3: Reverence.
I've written this at a really odd hour of the night, or let me call it morning since it's 6 am here. My style of partying....writing away š
For those who are following this series, you must have known by now that this one won't be a light one. It is not intended to be light as I am trying my hands at putting into words the musings of our souls.
Good night everyone. Drop in your comments if you enjoy intensity.
Best wishes,
Kiara.
Cricket
