Pandya Store|Episode Discussion Thread #33|Of Old and New Wounds - Page 64

Originally posted by: funny_fubar

I have a slightly different opinion- sometimes karma does not work as simply or directly.

In our custom(Tamilian), we have a ritual called Devasam where we pray for the peace of our ancestors. I once asked my husband about its significance- it is apparently to appease the spirits of 7 generations past. That how long the effect of your deeds last- you don’t carry the burden, but seven generations down. It is your kids, and their kids that bear the fruit of your deeds- both good and bad.

If you look at it, Prafulla had everything going for her at one point- 4 mills, money, her daughter was getting married. Yet she harbored ill intentions for not only Pandya house but also for Dhara and Hardik.

Now if you see her progression over the years

1. She never left an opportunity to specify that Dhara can never get married in this lifetime. Dhara is happily married but Anita is not. She is trying with all her might for 10 years but cannot get Anita married.

2. She used to taunt Dhara for scheming to seduce Gautam during Gautam-Anita wedding rituals. Today it is her daughter Anita that is desperately and pitifully trying to seduce a married Gautam.

3. She handed begging plates to Suman and Shiva- today she has no mills and has to take from Suman to buy gifts/clothes.

4. She and Anita faked a suicide plan to force Gautam to say yes to the marriage. 10 years later, Raavi was hanging from a fan on her marriage day.

5. She taunted Dhara about her having a son studying in Delhi while Dhara was childless. Ten years later she is bitterly bickering with Suman about daughters being better than sons, trying to use her nieces as her shield.

I can probably go on… she has pulled a lot of crap over the years…

But going through a hardship is one thing, but to see your child/children live through sorrow is a hell of its own.

Maami and Anita have always wished for Dhara to cry and have a terrible married life- now they have to see Raavi struggle through a tough married life for no fault of hers.

Karma is not called a b***h for no reason- her cruelty is very subtle, but the effect is haunting. At this point no one in Maami’s family has an ounce of peace or happiness.

I completely agree with you.seeing your children suffer is the worst kind of punishment.

I have seen this in real Life too where children bear the brunt of their parent's mistakes.

Maami is definitely suffering.financially and emotionally.

Originally posted by: funny_fubar

Ya I have had long discussions about this with my husband- it’s like why is justice not instantaneous? If you make someone suffer, you should be subjected to equal suffering then and there.

What followed was a terribly complicated discussion on janmas(births) and karma. I think he took pity at me and my frustration in the end, and said “just believe it all works out in the end. You suffer and enjoy no more or no less than you deserve” 🤣

I think it comes down to life being inherently unfair in terms of getting satisfactory justice. The way it works in real life is that you do some things good or bad, and then you or your loved ones live with the consequences of those actions.

Raavi is living the consequences of Maami’s greed, Maama’s silence, Suman’s fraility and Shiva’s grief.

it is really sad how the younger generation has to bear the brunt of mistakes/actions of the older generation.. but this is how life works😕

How much ever I watch of Maami's suffering, it will not be enough for me 😆

Anger and pain are often correlated, and to understand what has become of a situation today, one needs to watch every scene/episode right from childhood. Shiva is WRONG, and no, he needs to grovel for an apology from Raavi. He has hurt her beyond repair and respect today! That's his downfall as a husband today!

Raavi’s anger and pain are also correlated! No one called her stupid for projecting her anger on Shiva. She has been Wronged by everyone and almost betrayed by everyone whom she could call her own!

Her anger, burn, and pain are too much today!

But does that negate the deep-rooted pain Shiva has been harnessing inside him through all these years?

Is his pain not to be acknowledged?

Demons of childhood are too much for any person to handle and can cause lifelong scars.

Honestly, Shiva needs therapy and catharsis, so does Raavi for her post suicidal stint.

What Shiva did today was Abhorrent! There's no EXCUSE for objectifying Raavi! He needs to be PUNISHED but let's not Trivialise the years of pain he has harboured in his heart.

Every human responds to trauma differently. Some rise as Phoenix, some hit rock bottom, but there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

Originally posted by: funny_fubar

Ya I have had long discussions about this with my husband- it’s like why is justice not instantaneous? If you make someone suffer, you should be subjected to equal suffering then and there.

What followed was a terribly complicated discussion on janmas(births) and karma. I think he took pity at me and my frustration in the end, and said “just believe it all works out in the end. You suffer and enjoy no more or no less than you deserve” 🤣

I think it comes down to life being inherently unfair in terms of getting satisfactory justice. The way it works in real life is that you do some things good or bad, and then you or your loved ones live with the consequences of those actions.

Raavi is living the consequences of Maami’s greed, Maama’s silence, Suman’s fraility and Shiva’s grief.

In case anyone wants the 80’s Bollywood summary version of the post:

Uparwale ki laati mein aawaz nahin hoti

Originally posted by: GrilledCheese

The original naagin (Maagin) left out of the naagin dance was really funny 🤣

Hahahaha🤣 I wish they would have included her.. just for that naagin dance part🤣

Originally posted by: funny_fubar

In case anyone wants the 80’s Bollywood summary version of the post:

Uparwale ki laati mein aawaz nahin hoti

perfectly summed up!

Originally posted by: Miss.M

I watched the episode really quickly (And I've given in to the temptation and switched on the laptop to type this out so its quicker 😆, because I need to go) and overall was a good episode.

I've been reading most of the comments on the EDT and tend to agree with a lot of the posts. My two cents worth for further discussion 😉

Anita buying the gift made me wonder why mami would do that, considering she loves Raavi like her own child you'd think she'd want to give her something she's chosen herself. Also Rishita was actually happy with a photo frame (What even? Isme no partiality or is it because Anita got her her parcel she's taking everything else happily? That must have been one awesome dress!!)

I'm not even going to talk about the family dance..Krish was kind of right, this was the first function, where there shouldn't have been any drama (Oh his black tongue!!) I'm not too sure what they were trying to do..A Mix between bhangra, naagin dance and bollywood style...Matlab kuch bhi? (the choreographers were being slack, whatever happened to the awesome steps of tukur tukur and Radha?)

Maa warning the kids not too eat anything was too good. Its almost as she knows of the undhiyu from 10 years ago.

Shiva and Dev conversation was really good. I loved the brothers bond. They're so close and I hope it stays that way. Also can I just say, it was easy for Shiva to accept Rishita as part of his family because she is married to his brother, which shows a great character trait of his in terms of familial ties. (And yes despite what anyone might say he care for Raavi too. There will eventually be a separate post exploring their relationship.)

The looks the wives got was flying kiss worthy! Both Shiva and Dev were speechless.. Also both dancing with Krish was another sign that they are accepting each other in the otherwise tight knit group. Dhara and Shiva's little chotu sa dance was so cute (I need to post about this too!) as was Dev and Dhara's.

Coming to the main part. Shiva said a lot of things that made sense. The kangans were his mother's, it burns him to see her wearing the last gift that his father bought for his mother. And he is always quiet but mami taunting him is the last straw.

I feel mami is playing with fire, she doesn't understand the repercussions of her actions, which we see at the end of the episode. Shiva and Raavi who had previously decided multiple times to stay together for this marriage are on the verge of leaving each other. Yes they can get an annulment/divorce and she will have two girls sitting at home (Due to society's nature she is fating her daughter to get taunts the same way Dhara did) . Raavi had just asked her mami to stop fighting with Shiva earlier and now she's back at it.

I feel that this separation is a much required step for Shiva and Raavi. There is too many complicated emotions and relations that they need to resolve before they can even think about being married to each other. Yes Shiva should never have involved Raavi, despite what Mami said but was there another way for him to put his point across? Maybe, maybe not(Will have a think about this and will put it on the EDT)

Precap - I am going to wait and watch to see why Raavi decided to speak up in this matter. Was it something Shiva has said to mami? That seems to be the only time she will speak without thinking of what is fair and unfair.

There is so many more thoughts going round my head but I have a small window to get things done before my unwell LO wakes up so I'm going to leave this here and try and come back later.

That's what I loved about the episode today.so much complex emotions. So many different viewpoints.so many subtle scenes open to discussion and analysis.❤️

Originally posted by: funny_fubar

I have a slightly different opinion- sometimes karma does not work as simply or directly.

In our custom(Tamilian), we have a ritual called Devasam where we pray for the peace of our ancestors. I once asked my husband about its significance- it is apparently to appease the spirits of 7 generations past. That how long the effect of your deeds last- you don’t carry the burden, but seven generations down. It is your kids, and their kids that bear the fruit of your deeds- both good and bad.

If you look at it, Prafulla had everything going for her at one point- 4 mills, money, her daughter was getting married. Yet she harbored ill intentions for not only Pandya house but also for Dhara and Hardik.

Now if you see her progression over the years

1. She never left an opportunity to specify that Dhara can never get married in this lifetime. Dhara is happily married but Anita is not. She is trying with all her might for 10 years but cannot get Anita married.

2. She used to taunt Dhara for scheming to seduce Gautam during Gautam-Anita wedding rituals. Today it is her daughter Anita that is desperately and pitifully trying to seduce a married Gautam.

3. She handed begging plates to Suman and Shiva- today she has no mills and has to take from Suman to buy gifts/clothes.

4. She and Anita faked a suicide plan to force Gautam to say yes to the marriage. 10 years later, Raavi was hanging from a fan on her marriage day.

5. She taunted Dhara about her having a son studying in Delhi while Dhara was childless. Ten years later she is bitterly bickering with Suman about daughters being better than sons, trying to use her nieces as her shield.

I can probably go on… she has pulled a lot of crap over the years…

But going through a hardship is one thing, but to see your child/children live through sorrow is a hell of its own.

Maami and Anita have always wished for Dhara to cry and have a terrible married life- now they have to see Raavi struggle through a tough married life for no fault of hers.

Karma is not called a b***h for no reason- her cruelty is very subtle, but the effect is haunting. At this point no one in Maami’s family has an ounce of peace or happiness.

This is so beautifully apt. Yes we have similar rituals in ours as well. And I completely agree with what you've said about Karma coming back to the future generations. Also the contrasting points you have made for Mami's then and now are on point. You need to put this up as a separate post on the forum so we can add more comparisons if and when they come up.

Mami will indirectly get what she deserves and I hope repentance in the future will bring happiness in her children's life (Both anita and Raavi).

Originally posted by: funny_fubar

I have a slightly different opinion- sometimes karma does not work as simply or directly.

In our custom(Tamilian), we have a ritual called Devasam where we pray for the peace of our ancestors. I once asked my husband about its significance- it is apparently to appease the spirits of 7 generations past. That how long the effect of your deeds last- you don’t carry the burden, but seven generations down. It is your kids, and their kids that bear the fruit of your deeds- both good and bad.

If you look at it, Prafulla had everything going for her at one point- 4 mills, money, her daughter was getting married. Yet she harbored ill intentions for not only Pandya house but also for Dhara and Hardik.

Now if you see her progression over the years

1. She never left an opportunity to specify that Dhara can never get married in this lifetime. Dhara is happily married but Anita is not. She is trying with all her might for 10 years but cannot get Anita married.

2. She used to taunt Dhara for scheming to seduce Gautam during Gautam-Anita wedding rituals. Today it is her daughter Anita that is desperately and pitifully trying to seduce a married Gautam.

3. She handed begging plates to Suman and Shiva- today she has no mills and has to take from Suman to buy gifts/clothes.

4. She and Anita faked a suicide plan to force Gautam to say yes to the marriage. 10 years later, Raavi was hanging from a fan on her marriage day.

5. She taunted Dhara about her having a son studying in Delhi while Dhara was childless. Ten years later she is bitterly bickering with Suman about daughters being better than sons, trying to use her nieces as her shield.

I can probably go on… she has pulled a lot of crap over the years…

But going through a hardship is one thing, but to see your child/children live through sorrow is a hell of its own.

Maami and Anita have always wished for Dhara to cry and have a terrible married life- now they have to see Raavi struggle through a tough married life for no fault of hers.

Karma is not called a b***h for no reason- her cruelty is very subtle, but the effect is haunting. At this point no one in Maami’s family has an ounce of peace or happiness.

Listed out like this, it's reallyyyyy depressing. 😕

I don't know how much I believe in the ancestor thing, but yea, I agree that Karma will always catch up in ways that we can't imagine

Originally posted by: Transference

Anger and pain are often correlated, and to understand what has become of a situation today, one needs to watch every scene/episode right from childhood. Shiva is WRONG, and no, he needs to grovel for an apology from Raavi. He has hurt her beyond repair and respect today! That's his downfall as a husband today!

Raavi’s anger and pain are also correlated! No one called her stupid for projecting her anger on Shiva. She has been Wronged by everyone and almost betrayed by everyone whom she could call her own!

Her anger, burn, and pain are too much today!

But does that negate the deep-rooted pain Shiva has been harnessing inside him through all these years?

Is his pain not to be acknowledged?

Demons of childhood are too much for any person to handle and can cause lifelong scars.

Honestly, Shiva needs therapy and catharsis, so does Raavi for her post suicidal stint.

What Shiva did today was Abhorrent! There's no EXCUSE for objectifying Raavi! He needs to be PUNISHED but let's not Trivialise the years of pain he has harboured in his heart.

Every human responds to trauma differently. Some rise as Phoenix, some hit rock bottom, but there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

This is ❤️. I was just leaving as I read this so will try and come back to this later but you have made valid points. There is so many point of views to looking at this whole episode and none will every been 100% right or wrong since emotions are always going to be biased.

@Bold - This I agree on although I still dont know how I feel about Shiva's actions Yes he does need to apologise to her. its a whole other thing whether or not we do get an apology, but its true does that mean we negate the pain that he's felt? It would be impossible since that is essentially what makes part of his character.

Honestly, Shiva needs therapy and catharsis, so does Raavi for her post suicidal stint. - This would be so good to see. Resolvign things as we do in the real world!