Episode Spoiler - 22 June 2021 - Page 14

Originally posted by: aye-masakalii

I'd say better now than later, nahi? As insensitive and cold as his comment seemed, the further they'd have been in this marriage, the harder it would have been to hear, both for Pallavi and for us. Sharp tongue toh hai, but aise gusse mein wohi baat zubaan pe aati ho jo mann mein ho.

I got to agree, better now than later. Would be good if it was never. It was way hurtful, Pallavi immediately countered with something. I would have taken it to heart.

Originally posted by: aye-masakalii

I think I'm waiting for Raghav to hit a point of 'kar jo karna hai, sunne waalon mein se toh hai nahi, kud ja aag mein'. Haven't everyone's parents reached that stage of frustration at some point or the other? It's not because they stop loving or wanting to protect their children, it's just that sometimes, logic can't beat out stubbornness.

I think I mentioned this scene once before also, but mujhe phir se Pawani ki yaad aa gayi, who I think delivered one of the best lines on this show, jaate jaate, apne last scene mein. Siddhesh is annoyed at Deshmukh-premi-Pallavi, and she just says, we did what we could. Humne samjha diya, ab usko jab samajhna hoga, samajh legi.

You can't always stop children from getting hurt. What defines a good parent (or brother, here) is, are you there to help them back up? Some mistakes are important to learn and grow in life. Zindagi bhar bubble wrap mein toh nahi rakh sakte na?

But yes, agar yeh uska plan hai, then please tell your wife and apologize for your rudeness today 🙃🙃🙃

Agar dono ka plan hai, toh badhiya hai. Keep at it, we're proud of y'all 🥂

@bold red- This !! Thank you very much.. that's not bad parenting at all.. on the contrary when parents show faith in their child, they feel responsible to make the right choice so they don't let down their parents.. though this point doesn't apply on Keerthi because she doesn't and wouldn't care about how her actions to potentially destroy her own life could hurt Raghav, Amma and Pallavi too.. letting them down is a non issue for her.. If Sunny cheats on her, abandons her or whateva, she would wallow in self pity, cry on Amma's and Raghav's shoulder like she did during the MMS incident.. I doubt she would see her own fault in all this.. or how much she hurt her family to get what she wants..

But got to say, dialogues of Pallavi..the actors really need good memory and practice. Shivangi really nailed it today. so much in one go with no cut...talented.

Originally posted by: Diya2021

I understand what you saying. It’s going to take time for him and I agree he might start considering only when there is risk of losing her. I don’t want them to fall in love quickly but I had felt he is crossed the stage where he wouldn’t hurt her feelings anymore. Love is something which he hasn’t even thought about but that care and thoughtfulness he has been showing towards her needs made today’s outburst look insensitive. She might not show that she was hurt by his words but it did. Just because she fights back, it doesn’t mean she isn’t effected. Apologies are soon due hopefully but I don’t want this pattern. He was never portrayed as that ML who hurts and then apologises to FL.

No, he is far far from that stage right now. They're not even friends and maybe this track is what gets them to be friends, to share and be open with each other.

@bold, he wasn't and he won't be. He's just not in the same headspace as she is but he saw her reaction and realized it hurt her. He wasn't immune to it but his temper and focus on Keerti made him move on to other topics. You could see the oops moment in his eyes right away but at the same time voicing this has also made him realize that he has some reservations in his heart that he himself might not have been explicitly aware. I think all this is good for their relationship in the long run, as long as he doesn't take it for granted that Pallavi will always understand him. The problem that people like Pallavi face is that they appear strong so people do not think they can be hurt emotionally. If she appeared to be the kind who cried at the drop of a hat, things might be different. I doubt Raghav would have been interested in her if she were like that, though. 😆

Originally posted by: MistyDawn

@bold red- This !! Thank you very much.. that's not bad parenting at all.. on the contrary when parents show faith in their child, they feel responsible to make the right choice so they don't let down their parents.. though this point doesn't apply on Keerthi because she doesn't and wouldn't care about how her actions to potentially destroy her own life could hurt Raghav, Amma and Pallavi too.. letting them down is a non issue for her.. If Sunny cheats on her, abandons her or whateva, she would wallow in self pity, cry on Amma's and Raghav's shoulder like she did during the MMS incident.. I doubt she would see her own fault in all this.. or how much she hurt her family to get what she wants..

She was willing to run away without even telling Amma, who has been by her side all these years, so I don't think she cares what Raghav will feel if she's hurt or abandons the family.

Originally posted by: inlieu

Yes, exactly. So Pallavi realized it too, because she knows it was in his heart somewhere. To his credit, he realized he shouldn't have said that but didn't completely deny or dwell on it.

It is something for both of them to work on. Previously, I was saying he needed to giver her space but now I think she needs to give him space and time to acknowledge the areas of improvement and work on them till he gets to where she is right now. She has accepted him, the marriage, and the family completely. She said she wasn't going anywhere, but have you actually heard Raghav say the same about this marriage? He's still unsure about the entire thing, he knows he doesn't want her to leave but at the same time he doesn't know what he wants out of the marriage.

I know we keep saying he was born to be a husband, and he is, but just like we see with other roles, in this role too there are many layers to be explored and paths to travel. He will have to learn and make a conscious decision to treat her as his confidante, friend, companion, and then lover.

Someone had said on the forum (don't remember who), that right now he's more interested in being a husband than a lover and we can see this again with such slip ups. I feel that when he went to ask Pallavi for help it wasn't 100% with the intent of getting her involved as a family member, rather it was about asking for her advice and ideas. Let's see.

Regarding his sharp tongue, that's another problem he needs to sort out. People who love him can overlook it because they know his intentions, but this is how lines are often crossed and some words cause irreparable damage. Pallavi isn't going to feel secure in this marriage if he makes her feel he hasn't fully accepted her. That's probably why the return of Mandaar is going to create these dilemmas for her. On what basis should she choose a happily ever after with her second husband, who doesn't seem to be on the same wavelength as her when it comes to their marriage? Is she not better off with Mandaar, with whom she had dreamt of a future at one point, and has an anchor of sorts? Granted, we know he's going to be a shady character but she doesn't.

Hmm, I don't disagree with you, but I do have a slightly different take. I don't think the issue as such is in accepting the marriage. I think he's reached that step wholeheartedly. I think the issue is in fully acknowledging the implications of what it means to be married, because he's not used to living with family. With Jaya and Kirti, he's absolutely convinced that he knows what's best. He's used to making it happen, by hook or by crook- if they don't accept his help straight up, he'd get it to them through twisted ways, but he'd do what he thought best. From my read, it's Pallavi as a DIL/SIL that's tougher for him to accept than her as a wife, especially if she disagrees with him regarding his family.

He does need to get a hold of his words. He says some really uncool things often- calling her middle class, criticizing her work. It's not fun beyond a limit, and it's starting to wear thin.

And yeah, we absolutely shouldn't underestimate Pallavi's emotional attachment to Mandaar either. Sure, we know they never got the chance to fall in love. But Mansi told us early on they used to talk for hours at end while long distance. They shared dreams and aspirations. They planned a future. It seemed like they were all set to have the most perfect arranged marriage that could be, which is nothing to scoff at.

Originally posted by: BlueJayFire

I was expecting one day its going to come - this is my parivaar, you stay away from it. But didn't expect it to come this soon. Well, don't we all do or say things in real life too, even though we don't mean it? I am giving my own benefit of doubt that Raghav has a sharp tongue and it just came across.

I am not defending Raghav here and I don't know in what context he said those words but such slip ups happen almost daily in real life and people get upset all time and then reconcile. No need to be worry.

Originally posted by: BlueJayFire

I got to agree, better now than later. Would be good if it was never. It was way hurtful, Pallavi immediately countered with something. I would have taken it to heart.

Your post made me think how I'd have reacted- I'd have probably fought back a bit harsher than Pallavi did in that moment, and then gone off to my room to cry in private for a good while. She's a much more forgiving and empathetic person than me 😅😅

Originally posted by: Diya2021

Kuch nahi tho today’s episode helped me realise how much I’m invested in this show, damn 😂

Itna dhyaan shaayad hum apne personal relations pe bhi nahin dete. 🤣

Originally posted by: inlieu

I don't want him to apologize now because it won't be heartfelt, as in he will be apologizing for being blunt but that's not the problem here, is it? Should he apologize for what he feels? No. Is he being insensitive? Possibly, but then again he can't control his feelings in this matter. I would prefer that he assess things himself and then apologizes to her when he really understands the importance of this topic. He just isn't there mentally or emotionally, so other than acknowledging that his words may have hurt Pallavi, there's not much else he can do. There might come a time when she has issues with the Deshmukhs or other people and doesn't share anything with him, telling him it's her own problem or her family matter, which is when he'll realize how he made her feel today.

Nope, he needn't say sorry for what he's feeling. His emotions are valid. He's even allowed to generally believe Pallavi shouldn't be involved in this matter, in which case it should be a mature conversation, that hey, this marriage is new, and I think we need certain boundaries right now while we figure it out. That's fair too, but then he neither gets to lash out at her for not sharing info nor does he get to seek counsel.

But we all have inappropriate thoughts sometimes, or feel a certain way about certain things, even if we feel we shouldn't, and there are just some thoughts that should remain unvoiced. I don't believe Raghav's intention was to call her an outsider- but that nonetheless was the impact, which is why she responded, 'woh mere kuch nahi lagte kya?' In the light of the last couple of weeks, I think these thoughts should have either remained unvoiced or said with more tact. An 'I'm sorry it came out that way, didn't intend to hurt you' sentiment is all I'm really looking for, even without an explicit apology.

It's that sharp tongue of his that he needs to get a handle on, at least with his family. It's not gonna serve anyone well in the long run.