Motherhood is a Choice!

Well, keeping aside all my grudges for the show, I would like to highlight that No woman, no woman, should be ashamed or shamed for having the rights to her own body!

Though sacrificial, Dhara has full rights to choose NOT to be a mother for any given reason.

We live in a society where women are seen as baby-making machines, and the level of taboo it brings for women who think/choose otherwise or cannot conceive is appalling!

Giving birth is a beautiful feeling and perhaps an unmatched experience, but many women are either deprived of it or consciously choose not to be mothers!

They DON'T deserve to be reminded that their status in society is nothing without a child. This hypocritical stance needs to be broken!

I had loved PS because of the stand they once took for Dhara and her choice of not getting kids. The men had stood up for her. Even the neighbours did!

It's unfortunate to see Suman taunting her status to prove her point. No, two WRONG things don't make a right.

Trust me; my Rant stems out of personal space as I am someone who chose NOT to be a mother. The level of trauma society brings for such women is atrocious. Women are subjected to shaming and taboo if they control their bodies and choose something that the community Disagrees with!

Women need to be RESPECTED for their choices! Mothers/ Non-Mothers equally deserve respect!

The reiteration of Dhara’s obstetrics history is a very deeply personal choice. The entire family and town talking about it are deeply problematic! I wish it was differently dealt with!

Dhara DOES NOT DESERVE this taunt!

Internalised patriarchy is REAL! I am really miffed by how Suman just brought it up at the drop of a hat!

Originally posted by: Transference

Well, keeping aside all my grudges for the show, I would like to highlight that No woman, no woman, should be ashamed or shamed for having the rights to her own body!

Though sacrificial, Dhara has full rights to choose NOT to be a mother for any given reason.

We live in a society where women are seen as baby-making machines, and the level of taboo it brings for women who think/choose otherwise or cannot conceive is appalling!

Giving birth is a beautiful feeling and perhaps an unmatched experience, but many women are either deprived of it or consciously choose not to be mothers!

They DON'T deserve to be reminded that their status in society is nothing without a child. This hypocritical stance needs to be broken!

I had loved PS because of the stand they once took for Dhara and her choice of not getting kids. The men had stood up for her. Even the neighbours did!

It's unfortunate to see Suman taunting her status to prove her point. No, two WRONG things don't make a right.

Trust me; my Rant stems out of personal space as I am someone who chose NOT to be a mother. The level of trauma society brings for such women is atrocious. Women are subjected to shaming and taboo if they control their bodies and choose something that the community Disagrees with!

Women need to be RESPECTED for their choices! Mothers/ Non-Mothers equally deserve respect!

The reiteration of Dhara’s obstetrics history is a very deeply personal choice. The entire family and town talking about it are deeply problematic! I wish it was differently dealt with!

Dhara DOES NOT DESERVE this taunt!

Internalised patriarchy is REAL! I am really miffed by how Suman just brought it up at the drop of a hat!

It was wrong. There is no doubt. Nobody should be subjected to such taunts. Kudos to Shiny for portraying the emotions of defeated disbelief.

But I don’t think Suman means it. Remember when Suman asked Dhara to not go to the Godbharayi because of the taunts she will be subjected to? She seemed very accepting then. That is her natural opinion about Dhara and the absence of children.

Right now. It isn’t Suman the woman. It is Suman the mother who have just arrived after seeing marks on her sons. And it is deeply wrong of her to say that but she have said it in the bouts of anger. Unacceptable I know. But human. A mother’s retort to something that has hurt her.

Originally posted by: Transference

Well, keeping aside all my grudges for the show, I would like to highlight that No woman, no woman, should be ashamed or shamed for having the rights to her own body!

Though sacrificial, Dhara has full rights to choose NOT to be a mother for any given reason.

We live in a society where women are seen as baby-making machines, and the level of taboo it brings for women who think/choose otherwise or cannot conceive is appalling!

Giving birth is a beautiful feeling and perhaps an unmatched experience, but many women are either deprived of it or consciously choose not to be mothers!

They DON'T deserve to be reminded that their status in society is nothing without a child. This hypocritical stance needs to be broken!

I had loved PS because of the stand they once took for Dhara and her choice of not getting kids. The men had stood up for her. Even the neighbours did!

It's unfortunate to see Suman taunting her status to prove her point. No, two WRONG things don't make a right.

Trust me; my Rant stems out of personal space as I am someone who chose NOT to be a mother. The level of trauma society brings for such women is atrocious. Women are subjected to shaming and taboo if they control their bodies and choose something that the community Disagrees with!

Women need to be RESPECTED for their choices! Mothers/ Non-Mothers equally deserve respect!

The reiteration of Dhara’s obstetrics history is a very deeply personal choice. The entire family and town talking about it are deeply problematic! I wish it was differently dealt with!

Dhara DOES NOT DESERVE this taunt!

Internalised patriarchy is REAL! I am really miffed by how Suman just brought it up at the drop of a hat!

I second this and agree with your points 100%.

The life goal of a woman NEED NOT be marriage and children. No women is any lesser just because they cannot have / choose not to have children. Women are human beings first - individuals who deserve to live their lives as they choose, just like men. There's much more to a woman's life apart from just marriage and children.

Those who want to make marriage and children their only goal in life need to be respected too. But that shouldn't translate into ridicule, taunts and disrespect for those who choose to have different goals. Motherhood is not synonymous with, and is not the end goal of a woman's life.

I completely agree and support everything you've said here. Suman saying that was definitely wrong, and uncalled for. However, this one instance I'm willing to give her a (reluctant) pass because of two reasons:

1. She isn't in a sound state of mind, she was enraged because they lied to her and hit her children brutally, she was hurt and she was a provoked and emotionally charged mother. On top of all that, they kept justifying themselves instead of accepting their misteps which I believe angered her. I'm not saying this justifies a taunt about motherhood, but it's human nature to spit out venom when you're angry and emotional.

2. This is the main reason I've not particularly called out a lot of Suman's unacceptable behaviour and words - she is very old and belongs to a very different cultural setup and generation. You can't really blame someone who was brought up in a different time period and nurtures a dated perspective for reiterating their beliefs. As wrong as it sounds to us, it's expected of the older generation and I'm actually surprised how accepting Suman is in a lot of regards given her orthodox mindset.

I hold on to the hope that Suman would never throw this taunt at Dhara if she weren't enraged, given how sensitive she has been about it in earlier episodes. If she does, I will definitely be disappointed and call her out - that would be wrong and would not make sense for someone who hasn't questioned Dhara's bodily autonomy for over a decade despite how old school she is.

No matter the gender, an individual has sole right on his/her body, motherhood brings lots of physical and mental changes to a woman. An individual is entitled to comply or not with the societal norms and none other has any right to judge them but the society judges you no matter how you are, non-acceptance of individuals who think different from the herd. You're brave enough to follow your heart, be the same and be happy.

Originally posted by: Felicie

I completely agree and support everything you've said here. Suman saying that was definitely wrong, and uncalled for. However, this one instance I'm willing to give her a pass because of two reasons:

1. She isn't in a sound state of mind, she was enraged because they lied to her and hit her children brutally, she was hurt and she was a provoked and emotionally charged mother. On top of all that, they kept justifying themselves instead of accepting their misteps which I believe angered her. I'm not saying this justifies a taunt about motherhood, but it's human nature to spit out venom when you're angry and emotional.

2. This is the main reason I've not particularly called out a lot of Suman's unacceptable behaviour and words - she is very old and belongs to a very different cultural setup and generation. You can't really blame someone who was brought up in a different time period and nurtures a dated perspective for reiterating their beliefs. As wrong as it sounds to us, it's expected of the older generation and I'm actually surprised how accepting Suman is in a lot of regards given her orthodox mindset.

I hold on to the hope that Suman would never throw this taunt at Dhara if she weren't enraged, given how sensitive she has been about it in earlier episodes. If she does, I will definitely be disappointed and call her out - that would be wrong and would not make sense for someone who hasn't questioned Dhara's bodily autonomy for over a decade despite how old school she is.

That being said, it made me want to smack sasuma a bit too while watching lol. It would be nice if they cut down on some of her harsher, more unacceptable words and actions - throwing money at Rishita was another one - but I guess she wouldn't be the same person if they did that. As much as it makes us cringe, Suman is a pretty realistic portrayal of a rural Indian matriarch in a traditional family - not too dramatized, neither too idealistic.

To me it made more sense to berate her for being an unfit mother because she failed to discipline her children properly.

For me she failed as a mother because she turned violent physically.

But no one should ever be shamed for not having children. Whether it's due to any medical condition or of their own volition.

Dhara hit the boys - the pain can go away in a week or 2 but words once out will remain in the mind and heart for ever.

We have to remember today it is Dhara, tomorrow it can be Ristha or Raavi.. Supporting Suman because she is against Dhara is pathetic.

Encouraging suman type people is so wrong.

Suman doesn’t even have the empathy and thankfulness that Dhara took care of her kids for so many years.

Sometimes I wonder may be this is why they call women an enemy of another women.

I can't tell you how much I agree!👏👏👍🏼

Topic kind off hits home so not going to say much, but I just wanted to take the time and tell you how much I love your posts, this one and all others in general❤️🤗

PS. Are you a psych student?

Excellent post by you, dear! 👏⭐️

As Indian society is a patriarchal society since the very beginning, a woman's role has been largely been viewed as a housewife and a baby-making machine.

No matter who much our society and mindset has progressed, career oriented woman is supposed to handle / balance her professional life as well as household duties as well as child rearing.

Most Indians are so much inquisitive people who can't stomach the fact that a young couple can stay married for a longtime without having kids. Instead, they start giving out suggestions OR ideas to the couple to procreate and create a family lineage. 😡