Hey all. I figured it's time I did a bit of writing again. First fic for Ishqaan, so I'd definitely love to hear thoughts! I figured that I'd write something in-between Friday's and Monday's (anticipated) scene from an Ishqi pov because our girl deserves so much love! So here we go! It's a little sad, a little angsty, but that's my writing style in general.
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A lonely figure sat on the edge of the pool, looking out with unfocused eyes. Six months, she had managed to avoid him, and fate, being a fickle bitch, had brought him to her. Retrospectively, she should have known. But as they say, hindsight- 20/20. A snort escaped her. Laying her head on her drawn-up knees, she let her eyes wander some more until they came to lay on a corner of the pool she had studiously avoided since she began working here. The sight of it brought the ever-present nightmare to the forefront of her mind, the same one that had kept her awake for 6 months, and was the reason for her nighttime wandering tonight.
She would sacrifice her love and a hundred marriages if it meant it meant Sonu’s safety. She was innocent to the ways of the world, and just the thought of something that might have happened had pushed her to the brink of suicide. She wouldn’t be able to handle the truth coming out in front of everyone. Ishqi would gladly play the villain if it meant that Sonu got to stay in Sarla aunty’s good books. Because that was another nightmare that plagued her.
Her maasi called her a survivor. And somewhere deep down, Ishqi knew it to be true. She was a survivor. But that didn’t mean that in the dark of a night like this, she couldn’t let her demons out for a while before she was forced to lock them back up to put up a facade of nothingness. Six months. She had spent six months putting herself and her maasi back together again into a mismatched puzzle in danger of breaking at the slightest touch. She had been so careful. So, how had this snuck past her defenses today? How had his eyes implored the tears that she had worked so hard on keeping locked up? The same eyes that had haunted her for six months in her dream had pleaded with her to once again reveal the one thing she couldn’t. She had somehow mustered up the courage that night after his message to finally reveal all, but his words had robbed her of that. So why now? When he refused to hear it then, why now? The nightmare had returned with the force of a thousand arrows to her heart and pulled her here.
Feeling wetness on her cheek, she turned her head upward, expecting to see the beginnings of rain. But all she saw were clear skies and the stars that had been her companions in the last few months. The ones that she knew would never reveal any secret she said out into the inky blackness of the night. And now, they would also hold the tears she had finally shed this night. Tears for the girl who had to face the cruelty of someone she once trusted. Tears for the love that never was. And tears for the promises she could never fulfill for her maasi. Just for tonight, she would cry. Just for tonight.
As the first sign of golden light began to peek from behind the building, she wiped her tears and stood. The night was over and she had to get ready for another day of work. Another day in the exercise of keeping in control. As she walked, she missed the pair of eyes that had watched her all night as she had watched the stars.
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Until next time,
Aashi
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