DISCLAIMER - The writing below consists of spoilers of today's episode.
The episode was hard-hitting. Even though I thought I had no more feelings left for the show, all of it resurfaced when I watched the episode. I felt angry, hurt and sad. Hence decided to pen down whatever angst and questions I felt within myself.
The episode starts with Manorama serving the cake Bon made for Ani to Rani Sahiba. Bon sees it and starts questioning Manorama as to why she is accepting praises for no work of hers? Ani comes there and asks Bon to stop it. Bon insists that she won't support a lie because he was the one who taught her that and raise voice against the wrong. Ani shouts and shuts her up saying he won't tolerate the insult of Manorama further in front of the Queen, when in reality it was him and Manorama who insulted her. (But it obviously has become a habit of Ani to shout at Bon publicly and insult her, so nothing to say about it)
Bon's handmade cake was served by Manorama to the Queen. Well ARC proudly said a few days back "Bondita ke har badhe huye kadam sirf Barrister Babu banne ke taraf hona chahiye, naki rasoi ki taraf." What would he have done if Bon did not made the cake? How would he have then helped Manorama in her muhim?
Bon gets angry but does not show it. She goes to her room. Ani comes there and bends to talk to Bon when she starts undoing her shoes and stands in the bed. Ani comes to her room for the first time after he brought a second wife, and she is 'sensible enough to not give him peeth-ka-dard anymore', remembering the words of Ani "Bondita ne mujhe peeth ka dard aur naak mei dum karne ke alava aur kuch nahi diya hai". The scene very clearly points it out that Bon not showing her pain all along does not means she did not feel it 💔. Ani is at a loss of words for this.
Then Ani starts explaining about how he chose to support the lie because at that moment the lie was greater than the truth and that Manorama needs to go to the welcoming ceremony of the Viceroy General. When Bon enquires him the reason, he covers up saying it was for the reputation of the RCs. To quote his words,"Chahe lakh manmutav kyun na ho aapno ke saath, kisi bahaar se aaye mehmaan ke samne ghar ke aapne ke jhagde samne laana sahi hai? Kya sochenge wo hamare baare mei? Kya izzat reh jayegi hamari? Galat hai na Bondita." 👏
The man who has publicly humiliated his wife, not for once, but twice and even to some extent today is asking to not speak about internal matters in the open, to the girl who has never ever brought up her personal problems in front of the public. Starting from openly criticizing their relationship to calling their marriage a swang publicly, he has done it all. Hypocrisy never loomed larger than this.
Bon could have easily questioned him about the marriage revelation day but she didn't. That's the extent of her love and trust for her patibabu that prevented her from doing so. Had there been someone else she could have easily pointed out to him/her. But her morals and conscience are always in combat with the love she has for Ani and the latter ends having a upper hand. But I hope someday the former wins and she choses her principles and her self-worth, even if Ani is involved. I guess the day is close.❤️
But what's heartbreaking was the fact that Bon, immediately after listening to the explanation went to accept a fault that she was never at. Just by listening to an explanation by Ani and that too for ONCE. Just because he said it was the question of the family's izzat, that it was his izzat which was involved. Not only that, she even manages to persuade the Queen for inviting the RCs to the welcoming ceremony even when she knew Thakur, the person who tried taking advantage of her, was a close contact of the Queen.
Won't the girl who resorted to a lie, accepted an accusation that was never hers in front of the Queen and others just because her patibabu explained it to her conveniently for once, WOULD NOT have gotten back to studies (if she really was out of it) and stop those actions if Ani had explained to her, for once just like today? Wouldn't have the girl, who kept aside her life-scarring incident and managed to get an invitation from the person with whom her molester was involved just because her patibabu said it, had given up the adamance of being a dutiful wife and come back to her normal self if her patibabu had given her an assurance on their relationship?
All of the 'supposed' tricks she used on Manorama to oust her from Ani's life and make her 'lose' gave way today. The previous selfless Bon emerged out, victoriously. But when I introspected as to how Bon became that way, I remembered Ani's words -"uske masoomiyat ko maarke usse sahi raste pe laungi"- and he succeeded to a large extent. In the process of making her jealous so that he can bring her on the right track, ARC indirectly made Bon a self-conscious girl who thinks twice before praising and helping others. ARC in this track snatched Bon's innocence. But today somehow, even if it is little, she got back her own selfless soul.
Bon did not accepted those ways and treaded on the path shown by Kaka and the society because of her teenage issues, but because she lacked assurance and had the fear of losing out on the relationship that meant the world to her. Till when Ani was there with her, she never allowed anyone to intrude in her relationship - it was evident when Sampoorna tries to speak ill of her relation and her patibabu but she gives it back to her. But the moment Ani leaves her side, she gets really really insecure and starts choosing ways that she might have never chosen in the first place.
This exact assurance was what she only needed. She kept her self-esteem aside today and listened to what Ani said. Wouldn't she have listened THEN too if Ani made her understand the depths of their relationship? Wouldn't have just a SINGLE ASSURANCE from Ani worked?
Bon stood there pained, after the queen made an exit. Ani SAW IT but he went after Manorama to escort the Queen and her companions 🤢. I can't fathom the pain the little girl must have felt to accept a wrong allegation in front of everyone, to accept a humiliation which she never deserved. She felt so lonely 💔.
The episode ends with Manorama thanking Bon to which she replies "Maine ye sab sirf aapne parivaar ke izzat ke liye kiya hai. Ye jhoot apne patibabu ke liye bola hai. Kyunki mere liye mere patibabu ki aatma-samman se barkar aur kuch bhi nahi hai". And at one point of time, Ani wanted Bon to place her self-respect above everything else. I wonder what would he have done if Bon really chose her self- respect today and did not accepted those accusations? How would he have managed to persuade the Queen? How would he have made Bon listen to him if she really placed herself above anything else? Just hearing Barrister Babu instead of Birristra Babu made him numb, what would he have done if Bon gave it back to him, all of it, by choosing her self-respect at that time? What would he have done if Bon chose neither Dalhousie hostel nor Manorama as choti patni and have instead chosen her self-respect? What would have Ani done if Bon chose her self respect the day he accepted of her being a bojh to to him? Would he have found her in the house after coming back? Because he apparently went after Azadi Express's letter conveniently forgetting about how Bon must be feeling with all the harsh words and truth of her marriage. Came back and asked for a faint apology. What if Bon really went away? WHAT WOULD HE HAVE DONE?
Phew! That's all. I now feel a little comfort. 😆 Sorry if I have given you sar dard. 😒
I did not mean to offend anyone. It's purely my take on the episode. All of your agreements/disagreements are welcome.😳