Hi friends,
Another day, another update. I was nervous about the previous part because I'm not familiar with espionage or military jargon and such. It involved a lot of creative research, but I was glad to see it well recieved, Thanks again to everyone who continues to read and leave sweet comments
Part 5
Aai entered the suite and found Pakhi sitting, head in her hands. Pakhi looked up and Aai must have noticed the tears right away. She rushed over and sat beside her. “Beta, is everything okay?”
Pakhi immediately composed herself and nodded. “Ji Aai.” Aai looked like she didn’t believe her and asked, “Why are you crying?”
Why was she crying? She didn’t really have a good answer for that. Was it suddenly coming face-to-face with her MIA husband? Was it being basically accused of traitorous activity?
Pakhi shrugged and decided to stay as close to the truth as possible. “It’s just been a long day Aai, and I think I got too much sun.”
Aai seemed to accept that explanation ran her hand over Pakhi’s hair in a soothing gesture. Pakhi leaned into the affectionate touch.
“Did you have a good time?” Aai asked after some time. Pakhi nodded in response. “You were right, the palace and the national park were both beautiful. I took a ton of pictures.”
Aai nodded along. “That’s why this is Samrat’s favourite place. He also likes to explore old sites and old architecture.” Pakhi wasn’t sure how to respond to mentions of Samrat’s name now. Aai sounded sad and wishful when she spoke about him. Pakhi wanted nothing more than reassure her, to take her sadness and worry away, and Samrat trusted her to not do just that.
She sighed, and Aai once again noticed her sombre state. “My heart breaks for you Patralekha beta. I know you worry about Samrat. I see how you look when someone mentions him. I know this isn’t easy for you. You live in a household of happy couples, young and old. Not being with your husband must feel like torture. You don’t have to feel alone. You have me. You can share anything with me.”
Pakhi smiled. Aai didn’t deserve her tense mood. Samrat needed her to appear as she normally would in front of Aai. “I’m okay,” she assured the older woman, “I really think it’s just tiredness. Please don’t worry about me.”
She decided to distract Aai but pulling out her camera and showing the photos she had taken.
--
Pakhi sat up with a gasp.
Her heart was racing as she looked about the room. It was pitch dark thanks to the blackout curtains. The only sounds she could hear was the creaky old ceiling fan, and Aai’s soft snores coming from the other bed.
Something felt… off…
She couldn’t put her finger on it, but whatever it was had broken her sleep. She was a light sleeper and was sensitive to slight changes in her environment.
Was someone in the room? No, it was impossible. She would have heard the heavy door move or the lock jiggle.
She checked the time on her phone. It was 2:15 AM.
Pakhi was tempted to turn the flashlight on and quickly sweep the room, but she also didn’t want to wake-up and scare Aai.
Instead, she decided to settle back down, pretend she was asleep, and listen for any sounds or movement. So Pakhi made herself comfortable and kept her ears open. She didn’t hear any other noises. But she still couldn’t shake the feeling that it wasn’t only she and Aai in the room.
Eventually the day caught up with her again and she drifted off back to sleep.
--
On their last day at Tirupati, Pakhi and Aai sat together on a bench in the courtyard of the temple. Aai was content to just listen to the sound of the hymns that could be heard from inside the temple. Pakhi pretended she was just content to admire the architecture of the temple structure, but her mind was miles away.
Since her encounter with Samrat in the woods, Pakhi was having an even harder time with getting him out of her mind. She had analyzed their interaction endlessly, going over and picking apart every single moment together.
She didn’t know why she felt so lost, why he took up so much space in her mind and thoughts.
Previous to this trip, Pakhi had assumed that the next time she saw him would be awkward. She would have to address the elephant in the room, ask him what he knew, explain the situation between herself and Virat, explain that she was just a woman in love. She also assumed that she would have faced his anger or his pain, that he might lash out at her. But no such thing happened and it left her balancing on uneven footing.
Pakhi felt eyes on her and felt the pull to look up. When she did, she froze. Across the courtyard sat a familiar figure.
He was in disguise today. He wore a turban on his head and had a fake bushy beard obscuring his face, but it was unmistakably Samrat. Today he wore a black kurta and blended in nicely with all the other pilgrims milling about the temple courtyard. Their eyes met and Pakhi’s breath caught. Why was she so aware of him?
Pakhi turned to face Aai, who sat with her eyes closed, humming along with the hymns. She suggested that Aai use the washroom before they went back into the temple. They had time to pray once more before leaving to go back to their hotel and packing for their journey home in the morning. Aai agreed and excused herself.
Pakhi started to play with her green glass bangles as she felt someone take a seat beside her. She didn’t need to turn to see who it was.
“How did you recognize me?” He asked, sounding genuinely puzzled.
Pakhi shrugged in response. How could she explain something she didn’t understand? “You have a way about you,” she stated vaguely. “What are you doing here?”
“I had to see her at least once before she left.” Samrat sounded wistful. Pakhi extended her hand, intending to place it on Samrat’s arm as a gesture of comfort, but thought better of it half-way, dropping her hand in her lap instead. She was certain that Samrat had seen her hand coming towards him. Pakhi began to play with the edge of her saree just for something to do.
“She misses you so much. She talks about you all the time. She does nothing but worry about your safety” Pakhi smiled as she spoke about her sweet mother-in-law.
Samrat sighed sadly. “I know. It’s for her safety, and your safety that we keep up this pretence.” Pakhi knew better than to question why her or Aai’s safety might be jeopardy.
Pakhi decided to address what had been on her mind for some days. A feeling she wasn’t able to shake. “Three nights ago you came into our room.” It wasn’t a question. Pakhi was sure it had been him.
If Samrat was surprised, he didn’t show it. “I had to see her,” he explained, “I had to know that she was okay.”
“She’s in good hands,” Pakhi assured him.
“I see that now.” Samrat continued, in a softer tone this time, “When we lost Baba, Aai used to have a hard time sleeping. We both did. She used to take pills to help her. Eventually she started to feel safe again and slept soundly, until I decided to serve. When I was in training or deployed, I used to call, and she would avoid the topic of sleep. It was nice to see her sleeping so soundly with you. Thank you Patralekha.”
The sincerity in his tone made tears well up in her eyes. “You don’t have to thank me. Aai is my Mother too now.”
Silence fell between them for a moment. Pakhi wasn’t sure she should bring up the other thing on her mind, but she couldn’t help herself. “I went to the tour company that owned the jeep I was on. They were confused when I asked why they left me in the forest. They spoke to the driver who said that someone dressed exactly like me had hopped onto the jeep before it drove away. You knew what I was wearing. You planned to have them abandon me.” Pakhi finally turned to face him as she said this. Again, it wasn’t a question. She was certain of this.
Samrat seemed to be pondering her words, his expression serious. “You’re very observant,” he noted. “One of my teammates had been tailing you. She dressed herself like you. I created the diversion necessary for the jeep to leave. I needed to isolate you and question you.”
Pakhi absorbed this information. She wasn’t sure how to feel about this. She knew not to take any of this personally. It was obviously related to his mission and she didn’t want to put him in any sort of jeopardy. While he wasn’t forthcoming, Samrat was honest. Samrat was genuine.
As they both looked at each other, there was a tentative sort of tension in the air. A small spark of something. His eyes seemed to be drinking her in and memorizing her features.
Just past Samrat’s head Pakhi noticed Aai exit the washroom and make her way back.
“Aai is coming,” she warned. “You should go if you don’t want her to see you.”
Suddenly, Samrat smiled a boyish grin. It changed his entire demeanour in a way that made Pakhi’s heart skip a beat. “Aai is remarkably unobservant Patralekha. She won’t recognize me.”
Pakhi chucked. Aai was unobservant. She had a sudden idea. “Come and pray with us.” She could see Samrat open his mouth to object, but she cut him off. “You don’t need to stand beside us, just near us. Aai won’t know, but it will mean a lot to her, and to…” Pakhi cut herself suddenly. She flushed when she realized what she was about to say.
“And to you.” Samrat finished her thought for her. Pakhi didn’t acknowledge his statement. She couldn’t. Instead, she picked up her things and went to meet Aai half-way.
--
Pakhi didn’t turn around to check for Samrat, in case she bring attention to him, but she felt his presence follow her and Aai into the temple.
This made her very happy. She couldn’t explain why, but it did.
As they were exiting the temple, just as quickly as she had felt his presence, she felt his absence. One moment she was certain he was steps behind her, and the next moment he had melted into the crowd and was gone.
--
On the train journey home Pakhi realized that this trip had given her the introspection she had been looking for, but not in a way that she thought.
She remembered that on the journey to Tirupati she had been agonizing about Virat and Sai. There was more than obligation and duty between them, and at least to her, it was plain to see the potential of more. She was feeling hurt at being outcast by Virat, and for him replacing her so easily with Sai. She understood now that feelings were a little more complicated than that.
She had felt powerless often as she watched Virat and Sai interact, but she understood now that she held power too. If Virat wasn’t pulling away, she didn’t need to cling on and try and pull him closer. It was only hurting both of them. If he wasn’t able to let go, she could. Her happiness didn’t need to lie with him, as she once thought. And his happiness clearly no longer lied with her.
Pakhi took a deep breath and rested her head on the wall behind her. She felt oddly free and weightless.
She understood that part of this was relief at knowing that Samrat was alive and okay. Previous to this pilgrimage she had begun to fear of his demise and was bracing to become Aai’s rock and live life as a widow. She no longer held that worry.
After a long time she felt like herself, like Pakhi Patil.
Correction; Patralekha Salunkhe.
She would unravel this mess.
Thoughts?
-Ally
comment:
p_commentcount