Why so harsh, Shiva?!!

Long Post

I understand that it's part of Shiva's characterization to be rugged and rude with those he doesn't get along with, but what I don't get is why he gets SO triggered by Raavi... this is me trying to make sense of his behaviour with her vs practically everyone else in the show. First off, as much as I enjoy their nokjhok, I hate it when he drags her by the arm or hurts her by squeezing her wrists - while I accept that manhandling is sadly a popular trope in ITV, what I don't get here is how Shiva gets physical with her as opposed to other women given that he values his Bhabhi's sanskaar so much he remembers even in his worst fit of rage not to hurt a woman.

Also, there is no way anyone who grew up in the loving, gentle Pandya fam could naturally develop that kind of aggressive behaviour, I mean, we all know how Gautam is with Dhara, that's what Shiva saw growing up. This boggles me and the only reasonable explanation I can find is his equation with Raavi is very unconventional for him, I don't think Shiva considers her a woman as opposed to the girl he grew up picking fights with and continues to do so... I don't know if you get my point here, it's a bit hard to explain. That combined with the origin of his anger: the family fued and his father's death... This might be one reason why he never really seems to even think before yanking her or pushing her away. I say this because there's only ONE other person he treats the exact same way: Maami. His anger and aggression with Maami has reason, and as illogical as it is, Shiva projects that hatred onto Raavi too.

It's not right and definitely not sensible to project your anger onto someone who was a child when the incident happened, but I find that realistic because human beings tend to do that, we've all seen it around us, in our own families and maybe we do the same with certain individuals too.

Another interesting aspect of Shiva's character I'd like your opinion on is his intensity moments before his harshest outbursts, if you've noticed in scenes where he is extra rude to Raavi or conjures an insult out of thin air, he has this very subtle softness or surprise on his face moments before. The mehndi scene where he was gazing at her very intently as she rattled on in cute innocence, the scene where she hugs him and he is taken aback for a split second and then pushes her away harshly, the scene from today's episode where he bumps into her and say's she doesn't look pretty even though he clearly noticed her bride glow - I'm not implying there is a romantic connotation here, it's definitely too early for that.

However, I do feel that in these moments when Raavi is extra innocent and cute his prejudice slips a bit, he sees the girl as just her and not Maami ki beheni ki beti and he doesn't want that to happen - it probably jolts him subconsciously since he's so used to associating her with his misgivings with Maami and perhaps, the unwarranted for rudeness in certain instances is just Shiva pulling himself out of that momentary reverie?

I am in no way justifying his manhandling by the way, just trying to understand this impulsive yet complex character.

Felicie, fantastic post!!!

You are right, Shiva thinks every women in that household is bad. Well, look at Anita and Mami. He naturally assumed that Raavi is the same.

Raavi really is innocent and she tries her hardest to not let Shiva’s behaviour hurt her. She just forgives and forgets and moves on.

She did say, one day she’ll get him to apologize but that too so sweetly without holding a grudge.

Once married, Shiva is finally going to see how different Raavi is. Raavi even calls out Mami and Anita on their behaviour.

Shiva definitely doesn’t see her as a grown woman. I guess the day he does, we’ll see the changes in him. I’m looking forward to that journey. It’s going to be fun.

First, 💯 on manhandling. Hope CVs do take that aspect out of their equation. There are other ways to show close intense moments than that.

I think both you and Namita have pointed it out well above. It's like once bitten, twice shy. And in this case, it's twice bitten. Growing up, he pushed away every one who hurt his family. He takes things to heart. Remember, when he was so bothered by Gombi lifting heavy grain bags and decided to quit school to help him out? Similarly, Mami did and said a lot about them when they were young and he pushed away everyone from that family/associated with that family to protect him and his family. If I recall correctly, he seemed to have hatred against Mami even before his dad died. Wounds from that family run deep and are like engraved in his soul. Unfortunately, Raavi was the same age as him, and she's the only one who he could pushed away from playing with them at the time. And as he grew older, he just remembered the bitter part, and now he probably subconsciously associates anyone from that family = danger, and slips into his defensive anger mode. Why Raavi? Probably because she was the one who always made attempts to brake his protective bubble. And in anger/emotional state his brain conjured her actions probably as a conspiracy to attack and break his family when their guards are down. He probably doesn't see it logically as he would normally in other circumstances.

That was probably why he was so upset when Dev's alliance was fixed. He couldn't protect the family. But like you said, it doesn't justify his manhandling, but just an attempt at explaining it.

You are an observer and have knack of picking up smallest of things. And totally agree with your observation on the intensity. At first, he's soft and it almost tricks you to believe that he's starting to accept Raavi. And then goes to do the rudest of behavior. And that soft look isn't oh, mecheivious kind like the way he had when he decided to apply mehndi. And i don't think I can say it/explain it better than how you've described it.

Shiva’s not going to be able to help but fall in love with her. Raavi might be hurt and angry right now but she’s going to stand with Dhara and that’s going to help in the long run.

I wonder how their fights are going to be? Still childish!!

I wonder about their fights too. This changes their equation completely. Raavi for sure won't be using/saying dialogues like she did in yesterday's episode as a comeback for they'd mean completely different, and she isn't in right frame of mind to seek/accept another love right after a heartbreak (at least in her head). This time, she'll probably have her defensive mode on and may make some serious jabs at Shiva.

I do wonder, who'll fall and realize their feelings first.

Hello everyone, excellent observations. 🤗 It’s so good to have different perspectives and insights into a story. It’s like having perspective from different people about a book you are reading together, which I love! ❤️

Having said that, I have a very different opinion here. I might be wrong but something in these few episodes have made me feel like shiva likes raavi. Like really likes her, since they were kids and that’s only why he tries to push her away with the same intensity since it’s not acceptable to his own subconscious to have feelings for her given how strongly he hates Maami. Like he mentioned, he always asked dev not to lead raavi on and try maintaining distance from her. What if he’s trying to do the same and it comes out harsh because it’s hard for him to stay away! That also explains all the soft glances he gives her before he suddenly explodes. I am not saying he does that intentionally, maybe it’s all is in his subconscious and it’s his coping mechanism. Also raavi going all gaga over dev might irk him too, but he wouldn’t admit it himself and the defense turns into anger.

I mean he does have a soft corner for raavi. He protects her, just wouldn’t let her know. Even when dev was letting dhara and family know about rishita, he was the first one to point out that you can’t mess up with raavi’s life like that. Whatever it’s, he doesn’t hate her. To me, he gives the impression of a kindergarten kid, who keeps bugging the girl he likes and wants to talk to but won’t just say a hello instead. 🤣

Originally posted by: Inese_20

Hello everyone, excellent observations. 🤗 It’s so good to have different perspectives and insights into a story. It’s like having perspective from different people about a book you are reading together, which I love! ❤️

Having said that, I have a very different opinion here. I might be wrong but something in these few episodes have made me feel like shiva likes raavi. Like really likes her, since they were kids and that’s only why he tries to push her away with the same intensity since it’s not acceptable to his own subconscious to have feelings for her given how strongly he hates Maami. Like he mentioned, he always asked dev not to lead raavi on and try maintaining distance from her. What if he’s trying to do the same and it comes out harsh because it’s hard for him to stay away! That also explains all the soft glances he gives her before he suddenly explodes. I am not saying he does that intentionally, maybe it’s all is in his subconscious and it’s his coping mechanism. Also raavi going all gaga over dev might irk him too, but he wouldn’t admit it himself and the defense turns into anger.

I mean he does have a soft corner for raavi. He protects her, just wouldn’t let her know. Even when dev was letting dhara and family know about rishita, he was the first one to point out that you can’t mess up with raavi’s life like that. Whatever it’s, he doesn’t hate her. To me, he gives the impression of a kindergarten kid, who keeps bugging the girl he likes and wants to talk to but won’t just say a hello instead. 🤣

Hello! I like this perspective. It's somethinng that never crossed my mind. Love the analogy to a kindergartner. And honestly, mindblown by this simple explanation!🤯😂 If anything, I thought this phase will come after they get married. When his heart will want her, but his mind will deny that this can't happen, and he'll try to push her away.

I know for Raavi, his opinion always mattered.

Isn't it amazing how we all see the same show, but it speaks to each of us so differently?

Originally posted by: Inese_20

Hello everyone, excellent observations. 🤗 It’s so good to have different perspectives and insights into a story. It’s like having perspective from different people about a book you are reading together, which I love! ❤️

Having said that, I have a very different opinion here. I might be wrong but something in these few episodes have made me feel like shiva likes raavi. Like really likes her, since they were kids and that’s only why he tries to push her away with the same intensity since it’s not acceptable to his own subconscious to have feelings for her given how strongly he hates Maami. Like he mentioned, he always asked dev not to lead raavi on and try maintaining distance from her. What if he’s trying to do the same and it comes out harsh because it’s hard for him to stay away! That also explains all the soft glances he gives her before he suddenly explodes. I am not saying he does that intentionally, maybe it’s all is in his subconscious and it’s his coping mechanism. Also raavi going all gaga over dev might irk him too, but he wouldn’t admit it himself and the defense turns into anger.

I mean he does have a soft corner for raavi. He protects her, just wouldn’t let her know. Even when dev was letting dhara and family know about rishita, he was the first one to point out that you can’t mess up with raavi’s life like that. Whatever it’s, he doesn’t hate her. To me, he gives the impression of a kindergarten kid, who keeps bugging the girl he likes and wants to talk to but won’t just say a hello instead. 🤣

That was exactly the perspective that I took (but there's no way I could've summarized those thoughts as eloquently as you have.

When I watched the original, it never crossed my mind that Kathir (Shiva) would be secretly crushing on Mulla (Raavi). It's probably because they didn't have as many scenes as Shiva and Raavi have. Interestingly enough, in the Telugu remake Bharat (Shiva) actually confesses to Siri (Raavi) (once they started to have feelings for each other) that he'd always liked her as a child, and if it hadn't been for her mother (Maami), he might've acted upon those feelings.

While watching Pandya Store, I always saw Shiva having some sort of subconscious crush on Raavi. A crush that he can't act upon because of his hate for Maami and because of Raavi's innocent obliviousness. Either way, I can't wait to see how they both tease each other in the future.

Originally posted by: Inese_20

Hello everyone, excellent observations. 🤗 It’s so good to have different perspectives and insights into a story. It’s like having perspective from different people about a book you are reading together, which I love! ❤️

Having said that, I have a very different opinion here. I might be wrong but something in these few episodes have made me feel like shiva likes raavi. Like really likes her, since they were kids and that’s only why he tries to push her away with the same intensity since it’s not acceptable to his own subconscious to have feelings for her given how strongly he hates Maami. Like he mentioned, he always asked dev not to lead raavi on and try maintaining distance from her. What if he’s trying to do the same and it comes out harsh because it’s hard for him to stay away! That also explains all the soft glances he gives her before he suddenly explodes. I am not saying he does that intentionally, maybe it’s all is in his subconscious and it’s his coping mechanism. Also raavi going all gaga over dev might irk him too, but he wouldn’t admit it himself and the defense turns into anger.

I mean he does have a soft corner for raavi. He protects her, just wouldn’t let her know. Even when dev was letting dhara and family know about rishita, he was the first one to point out that you can’t mess up with raavi’s life like that. Whatever it’s, he doesn’t hate her. To me, he gives the impression of a kindergarten kid, who keeps bugging the girl he likes and wants to talk to but won’t just say a hello instead. 🤣

Nicely put!

If I'm being honest, this is the impression I get too🤣

I never felt he had full blown feelings for her, but like you said there's something present at a subconscious level - you can feel the pull between them. I tried to view it more objectively because I didn't want to chalk it down to a classic case of "boy pulls girls pigtails because he likes her", even though Shiva gives off those vibes very strongly, because of the plotline and emotions involved. I was trying very hard not to let my shipper heart imagine things but now that you and others seem to feel the same way, I'm inclined to accept that maybe this subconscious crush thing could be true. If it is, I'd love for them to discuss it later on. Good point about the coping mechanism!

I do think differently about him having an affinity towards her since they were kids, though. Even though the older Shiva clearly has a soft corner for Raavi despite everything - and I bet he wouldn't admit that to himself to save his life - I don't believe he liked her right from the beginning. When they were kids there was no way Shiva liked her given his all-encompassing disdain for all things Maami and well, they were just kids. I think that gradually came about as they grew up.

It feels the same from Raavi's end - while we get these hints from Shiva's intensity, soft looks and his hidden care Raavi gives us reason to ponder through her inclination to bring Shiva into every conversation or situation, seek his opinion or approval and the fact that she's so forgiving of him. It's like her mind knows he's an integral part of her daily routine who pisses her off but can't do without. Again, everything at a subconscious level because tweedledee and tweedledum are too busy tripping over each other 🤣

Maybe his equation with Raavi is a combination of all the different perspectives we've all put together here - after all, human relationships are always complex and layered 😆

Originally posted by: Mountains_Lakes

First, 💯 on manhandling. Hope CVs do take that aspect out of their equation. There are other ways to show close intense moments than that.

I think both you and Namita have pointed it out well above. It's like once bitten, twice shy. And in this case, it's twice bitten. Growing up, he pushed away every one who hurt his family. He takes things to heart. Remember, when he was so bothered by Gombi lifting heavy grain bags and decided to quit school to help him out? Similarly, Mami did and said a lot about them when they were young and he pushed away everyone from that family/associated with that family to protect him and his family. If I recall correctly, he seemed to have hatred against Mami even before his dad died. Wounds from that family run deep and are like engraved in his soul. Unfortunately, Raavi was the same age as him, and she's the only one who he could pushed away from playing with them at the time. And as he grew older, he just remembered the bitter part, and now he probably subconsciously associates anyone from that family = danger, and slips into his defensive anger mode. Why Raavi? Probably because she was the one who always made attempts to brake his protective bubble. And in anger/emotional state his brain conjured her actions probably as a conspiracy to attack and break his family when their guards are down. He probably doesn't see it logically as he would normally in other circumstances.

That was probably why he was so upset when Dev's alliance was fixed. He couldn't protect the family. But like you said, it doesn't justify his manhandling, but just an attempt at explaining it.

You are an observer and have knack of picking up smallest of things. And totally agree with your observation on the intensity. At first, he's soft and it almost tricks you to believe that he's starting to accept Raavi. And then goes to do the rudest of behavior. And that soft look isn't oh, mecheivious kind like the way he had when he decided to apply mehndi. And i don't think I can say it/explain it better than how you've described it.

Haha, thanks! You seem to be an observer too, the things you've pointed out above and the explanation regarding how he is very protective of his family and his instincts to associate Maami and her household with harm is a good insight into his psyche.

I hope they take the manhandling out too! It's disruptive to the viewing experience, that's the only reason I get irked watching their scenes. Find a more acceptable way to bring intensity, writers!

@bold: I know right? It's not just plain mischief, you see something deeper and more intense on his face in those few seconds.