Hi All,
I’m back with another one shot. This time from Virat’s perspective. I had previously penned one from Sai’s perspective which you can read here (OS : Socha na tha)
As always, your comments and critique are welcome! As usual I’ve taken massive liberties with the timeline and ages, and it’s set in the same universe as my other story, but slightly ahead in time (I am somewhere in the 8 months post wedding timeframe, as I think anything less aka the 2 days in showtime is probably very little time for people to form a bond…we shall ignore the 2 day promise love story). I also love adding additional details to people’s daily life outside of the core conflict to maintain a level of reality to it….so please excuse the brief explanations of what I think Virat’s job is.
This also does not go into anysort of exploration of the PP relationship (beyond marriage i.e), there is a bit of backstory but I feel like exploring the PP angle requires its own katha.
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It was two months since Virat had been home. He was tired and exhausted both physically and mentally. He wasn’t alien to tough assignments, but this specific covert assignment had taken longer than anticipated and more brain power.
He was undercover, pretending to be a forest development engineer; but in reality, trying to trap a drug trafficking ring that was using the tribal settlement as a base while they transported their wares through Maharashtra to the rest of the country. His cover allowed him to be within a short distance of the community and be close to his CI. They had almost mapped out all the routes being used and had pretty much identified the core team. He often thought about how his job was mainly all about painstakingly collecting evidence, copious amount of data analysis, plans and counter plans. Yes, there was action and the sweet cathartic feeling of closing out a mission, but no one saw the boring parts of the job. Some days if he didn’t know better, he may as well have been a consultant with all the slides that he created. All that was left on this mission was mapping the one route that he knew somehow led to Kolkata Ports and of course the mole in their department who had allowed a cross state drug racket to function with such operational ease.
Given the confidentiality of the mission, Virat was given only 3 people in his team and nobody outside these 3 knew about his actual identity. They were extremely short staffed and that was causing the delay in completion. The charade of maintaining a day job as an engineer while also running intelligence and a fairly junior team to boot, Virat was feeling the stress. When he got the call from his boss, he was loath to take this mission.Sai had just started her course and he wanted to make sure he was around to supporther in any manner she wanted. Though she didn’t need him to fight her battles (oh boy she didn’t!!) and Kaku and his baba had reached a sort of indifferent impasse in their treatment of her, he wanted to make sure she got set in a routine and this impasse continued. However, the gravity of the drug situation meant that there wasn’t anyone else apart from Virat who was trained enough in covert ops to undertake the mission. He briefly considered asking Sai to move to her hostel but then decided against it as he didn’t want any scenario where she settled in the hostel and never came back to their home. He didn’t heed to that part of his brain which was compelling him to dig deeper into the reasons for that, or why he considered it “their” home.
He recollected the day he broke the news to her about him having to leave. She asked him the most practical questions about comms routes,emergency codes and safe words, then nodded wishing him luck. The fact that she was a policeman’s daughter shone through her behaviour -> There were no histrionics,no drama, only understanding. He secretly felt proud of the maturity (that dreaded word) that she displayed in the whole situation. The rest of his family was a different scenario, for a family of law enforcement officers they sure behaved like this was something that was new each time! Virat didn’t know how easy or difficult it would be to keep in touch, so he had pre-warned them to not expect much. He also did this by design as he wanted to avoid speaking to some members at home.
As his forest department jeep now sped through the winding forest lanes of his latest posting, Virat rested his head against the bars reflecting on the last bizarre year of his life. He had started it being in love with one woman and hoping to end it being married to her, but was now far from speaking to the first and married to a completely different one.
Life had been cruel and in the most tragic circumstances he had to part with Paakhi . If he regretted anything, it would be in the way he had made the choice, taking away the agency from Paakhi and also his brother Samrat…his Jiva. While the rational side of him said that if she had indeed agreed to marry his brother, then there must have been something lacking in their relationship. He should have still come clean to his brother and as adults they could have made the choice. His Promise to her was out of this duress, that he had denied them both that agency and perhaps that really meant he wasn’t fit for a relationship and she would find true love with his brother who surpassed him in every sphere of life.
He would have gladly also lived up to that promise, being alone wasn’t something new to him and save for that brief encounter when he thought he might have something in store for him he had pretty much believed he would be better suited for a life in solitude with his job profile. When he had parted, he was content in knowing that Pakhi would be happy with his brother and he would have a friend in her for life. She was a measured woman, much like his own temperament and he wanted to continue being her friend. He and Jiva as children, always wanted their significant others to love and trust the other brother as a part of their own family. Him removing the romantic thoughts for Pakhi from his heart, in his head meant that they would still achieve the naïve childhood dream.
The situation in Gadchiroli and marrying Sai was never part of the plan. Sai was ten years younger than he, and he did not want to take advantage of wrecking her life, hopes and dreams in any form. If he was not destined for love, surely this young bright girl was. She had her whole life ahead of her. He knew he came off like a chauvinist in Sai’s eyes. That she needed a man to protect her was something she abhorred, but the reality was her safety and wellbeing was probably not guaranteed in any other space and he hated that they lived in a community that would unfairly judge a woman if he had chosen to just house her in his home with no relation. When he took this step, he had hoped that when they separated once Vithal was taken out of the picture, she could settle maybe in a different city or country even and expunge the records of their relationship forever and embark on one that was her own.
When he brought Sai to his home, he turned for help in the one avenue he thought he could trust. He would have naturally leaned on Samrat and he saw Pakhi as a natural extension to fulfil that role in his brother’s absence. He knew the incident and him breaking the one promise of solitude had hurt her, but he had hoped that she would see the severity of Sai’s predicament and welcome the girl into this house where she was also a new member.
Virat knew Sai disliked him and probably still held him responsible for her father’s death inadvertently. He tip-toed around her not wanting to surface her hurt too much while she still nursed this anger. He knew his mother would welcome her as her daughter, but he wanted her to have someone she could trust,someone closer to her age and someone who knew how to navigate this house. He was still conscious of their age gap and did not want to Sai to ever feel uncomfortable that he was taking undue advantage and trying to get fresh. He thought with Pakhi at her side, Sai would not just have company in the house and the city, but equally through that relationship learn to be more comfortable around him. That plan now on reflection went south very quickly! He could now say that it was probably the shittiest idea he had ever had.
Sai while hot headed, was wise beyond her years. Her only foible was that her temper flared like an oiled wick and that was when her mouth ran faster than her brain. To her absolute credit, he had also never seen her shy away from apologising for her mistakes. While she held her self-respect very dearly and fought for it with gusto, she was devoid of any ego in acknowledging and making amends if she was in the wrong. It was a truly remarkable character strength. Virat quickly grasped that what Sai was looking for was not him to offload her to someone and use their age difference as the excuse, but for the one person she actually knew in the house i.e. him to support her.
Despite everything, he was the one who knew her aaba and had felt the pain of her loss AND he was the only one who was in the same situation asher. That marked the day he let his own insecurities of wronging her go and tried to be a better ally. In the months that followed, he tried to provide his support where he could, showing her where she could have acted differently, in a manner that wasn’t patronising. She gradually let go of the anger she had against him and they became a unit (unlikely unit, but unit nevertheless). He started sharing his stories with her, his workday trials with her and in return she told him more about her childhood,her dreams, aspirations and everything she and her aaba had planned for their lifetime. She blended well with his mother, his tai and even Karishma (that relationship he really didn’t understand). They had an easy comfort with each other, board games (he won ofcourse), hi-fives and 2 AM chai talks had become the norm. Was she his friend? He didn’t know. He was burned by love, by friendship once before and that relationship hung like a rotten albatross around his neck.He was wary of giving a name to what he had with Sai. He was content in their no-name comfort zone.
His phone vibrated thrice in his pocket jolting him out of his reverie. He glanced at his watch and saw it was the burner phone he had given Sai as part of their comms discussion. He smiled to himself, like clockwork every Friday she buzzed him at the appointed time and if he was free to talk, he would ring her back. They were not very frequent given his predicament and having to maintain an alternate identity , he really looked forward to just the plain action of her ringing him without fail. Their chats were about everything and nothing at the same time, however when he managed to chat with her, it was the best part of his week and managed to dissolve all the stress he carried (for reasons again he didn’t want to explore). He sent her the regular code, signalling that he’d call her in ten minutes. As he walked up the stairs of the circuit house once the Jeep pulled to a stop, his phone in his hand, he quickly dialled the number he was now most familiar with. He dropped his wallet on the sideboard, picked up his mug of tea that was waiting for him, kicked his shoes and sunk into the ancient couch. On the third ring, he heard the tinkle of her laughter and she picked up and said
“Hi”.
Fin
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Long meandering piece, I don’t know where I really went with this. If you’ve made it this far, would love to hear your thoughts :)
Title because it's one of my favourite songs, two it's around the time Virat has left to go home that magical hour when twilight has disappeared and shrouded the night sky in darkness and he knows not to do with his time
-Priya
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