Hello everyone 🤗
I am really excited to share this new One Shot with you all. I had a great time writing it.I had been working on it since the last two days. This one is for Annie. I really hope you like it. The beginning of this OS is inspired from Naina's OS - Saiyyan. There Veer had written a letter for Bani, here Bani has written a letter for Veer.
Happy reading!
'Dil kho gaya, ho gaya kisi ka...'
Veer,
There is so much I want to tell you but I don’t know how to and from where to begin.
Now, I know you are not the person I thought you were. I let my negativity get the best of me. I misunderstood you. I am ashamed of every wrong thing that I have said to you, that I have done to you. Those times fill me with guilt and regret. I should have known better. I have felt hurt and pain as a consequence of my bad decisions. I was hurting myself and it is now that I realize that I was hurting you as well.
I see the way you look at me and I am on the verge of confessing the darkness I inhabit. My demons whisper in my ear that I am not good enough for you and I try not to believe them. They are always hovering, waiting for any glimpse of happiness, lurking in the shadows of my subconscious. I am haunted by my past, it pulls me down and that is when the panic sets in. I don’t want to live in such a way. Can you help me?
I am the reason my life is such a mess. I won’t blame anyone else. I don’t know how to fix it. Sometimes I feel I don’t want to burden you with my problems but then I realize how much I need you. You are the only person I can call my own, my emotional anchor. Please don’t give up on me.
I feel your eyes on me, trying to figure me out. It’s almost like you can read my mind. Whenever you try and express your feelings for me, I believe it a little more. Will it be right if I ask you to hold my hand and stay with me for every moment of my life. At first, I was not so sure, but when difficult times came, I understood our connection.
I want to lean my head against your chest, and keep listening to my name beating in your heart. Let me draw a line with your fingers, in the night sky. Half yours, half mine. I want to write my name just like it should be written. Bani Veeranshu Singhania. I want to be with you for life. Stay with me, please.
You are the only one that sees me but you don’t know the depths of my truth. I desperately want to reveal all my secrets to you. May I? When I gaze into the warmth of your brown eyes, my heart aches. I want to shed this wall that I built in between us. I trust you. I know that you will not run away after seeing the ugliness. There lives a broken child within me.
The ugliness that is beneath this bland facade. I hide it as best I can but the scars are too deep, too close to the bone and I am too weak to endure the pain alone. The cuts slash across my body and seep through my pores, coloring my world in greys and blues and flashes of red. I had screamed but no one heard me so I swallowed the dryness in my throat and chose not to speak about it. Can I speak to you about it?
You have held me close and I wept in your arms as my wounds gape opened, exposing the decay of so many years of pain and loneliness. I reach for you because I know it’s better if you stand beside me. The girl you know right now is damaged but I want to be happy. I want to be more than just a hollow shell of who I once was. I want to be with you Veer.
I bask in the light that shines around you. You know when you look the other way, like a beacon of warmth and love, I reach out to touch you but pull my hand back. I hesitate. I am trying to understand these newly emerging emotions.
I want to look in your loving eyes, for they are the door to my own soul. Touch me with those gentle hands and I am made anew, not as clay, but as if my body were reborn in its most perfect form. And so, in this love there is a deep gratitude, a sense that what is given is sacred and transient, passing in time into the eternal cycles of living. I am thankful for your love and I could never begin to hope for more.
Because your love is so whole, my missing pieces appear. Because your touch carries such passion, what was scarred becomes soft once more. Because you are steady and patient, my open wounds have time to heal and vanish. Perhaps that is why they say love is such magic, this gift from the universe, this sweet addiction to the man I am meant to be with.
I want all of you. I want every feather-like sweep of your hand to caress my cheek. I want your arms to wrap around me and for you to whisper lovingly in my ears. I want you to kiss me tenderly before we bed together. You are my weakness, honestly I am not able to breathe when I am near you. My pulse quickens and my mind ponders and wishes for the possibility of a life together. You mean more to me than all my hopes and dreams. Trust me. We are in this together Veer. Let’s build a life for ourselves and our family.
Bani
Deep emotions stirred inside him. He took a deep breath, he knew tears are going to course down his face. A single drop welled up in the corner of his eye. That lone tear slipped down his cheek, his body looked calm as compared to how ecstatic his mind was.
He loves Bani. And that means he would defend her with his life even if the odds were insurmountable. It means he will comfort her in the difficult and painful times. It means he will dance and celebrate with her when times are good. It means he will never hurt her, never give up on her. It means finding his fire when Bani, his wife, is threatened, yet never waging war - only doing what is necessary for defending her honour. Love teaches him that he will forgive her when she errs. Love says though life may test him in a million different ways, he is hers into eternity and he will never abandon her. He will never let her go. It means he will never put her in danger no matter what the cause may be. Love means to protect her. Anyone who tries to harm her has to face him first.
The tears burst forth, spilling down his face. He could feel the muscles of his chin tremble. Happiness came to him in waves. The very thought that Bani wanted him, that she wanted this marriage soothed him. He was extremely happy that she chose to express her feelings to him. He felt peaceful. More tears came. There is static in his head, all the memories of Bani are revived in his mind. He closed his eyes in a silent prayer, grateful to his God.
“Veer zara neeche aa toh.” Tapish called for help.
“Aayaa Tapish Bhai.” He wiped his tears.
~~~
Veer walked down the staircase. Contentment brimmed in his heart when he looked at his family. Everyone was busy with Diwali decorations. Vibrant shades of white, yellow, orange, red, pink and purple surrounded him. There were flowers scattered everywhere. No corner was left untouched.
Bani was decorating candle lanterns with flowers. He walked towards her as she gathered and twisted her hair in a loose bun. Daksh was making garlands to help Bani. Ponky also started making garlands once he was done making and wearing his own crown of marigolds. Monil was randomly taping lily stems on the wall. Both Bani and Daksh told him that he did not need to but he insisted. He wanted to do something unique. Veer was delighted. His home had come to life.
The Singhania's celebrated Diwali every year. They hosted parties and invited guests from all over the world. There were lavish arrangements of food, alcohol, entertainment and fireworks. But this year the family members decided to celebrate the festival in a more traditional way. The way Bani wanted to celebrate it. After all it was her first Diwali as Mrs. Veeranshu Singhania.
"Hey sweet heart." Veer sat beside her.
"Hi" Bani said politely. Her heart thumping impatience. Has he read the letter?
"Let me help you." Veer picked a needle and thread.
"Veer... Kya tumne... Kya tumne woh letter padha? Maine cupboard mein rakha thha. Tumhari jacket ke pass." Bani was restless. What if he had not read the letter?
"Haan". Bani searched in his eyes for so many answers. She felt so relieved. She had said everything she wanted to say.
Some called it bewitched, Veer would call but love. Because before Bani there was emptiness in the freedom of being alone and now there is liberty in being caught in this divine spell. When he is able to see in her eyes the feelings of her heart like right now, they become one. And if that is not magic, he does not know what is.
Both Veer and Bani were baffled when flower petals showered on them. Veer questioningly looked at Ponky who was the one showering those flower petals. Bani chose to look down at her hands, nobody needed to know that her cheeks were warm and pink. Monil joined Ponky to grace his Bhai and Bhabhi with more flower petals.
"Jitni masti karni hai kar lene do inko." Veer told Bani. She nodded and smiled.
Out of nowhere, Ponky started singing
Dil ibaadat kar raha hai, Dhadkane meri sunn
Tujhko main kar loon haasil lagi hai yahi dhun...
Zindagi ki shaakh par se loon kuch haseen pal main chun
Tujhko main kar loon haasil lagi hai yahi dhun...
"Oyye Ponky, itni fatichar awaaz mein gana kyon gaa raha hai?" Veer asked.
"Bhai aap bhabhi ko itna pyaar se dekh rahe thhe toh maine socha background music de doon." Ponky said cutely.
Veer game him a look. Daksh and Monil burst out into laughter. Bani wanted to hide her face in her palms. She turned her head to the side to avert her gaze, but the sudden rosiness of her cheeks gave her away.
“Agar hasna ho gaya ho toh thoda kaam bhi karlo.” Veer tried to sound strict.
Everyone got back to work. Veer picked some red roses from the basket of roses and started weaving them in a thread. Bani was trying different flower combinations to decorate the candle lantern in her hand when she felt Veer's fingers brush her neck. She looked back. He was tying the weaved roses in her twisted bun.
“Kya tumhe mujhse kuch kehna hai Veer?” Bani asked him hoping that he would say something after reading her letter.
“I love you” He whispered in her ear.
~~~
“These are the lights we have at home right now sweet heart. Just have a look. Agar tumhe aur lights chahiye toh hum mangwa lenge.” Veer said as he put yet another big box of lights in front of Bani. She was amazed. There were so many boxes.
Sparkly, twinkly and bright – the lights never fail to mesmerize Bani. They always bring her so much joy. They are her favorite part of the festival. She felt so giddy with excitement.
She took some fairy lights from a box and plugged them in the socket to check if they are working properly or not. But before switching them on, she had to detangle them. She wanted to interweave them along the drapes to decorate the hallway. She wanted to string them up the walls and across the ceiling in the passages. She also thought about capturing the glow of these fairy lights in a Mason jar and wrapping it as a Diwali present for Meera Di.
She kept thinking about all the wonderful ideas of decorating the house with lights. Her mind kept fluttering back to the lights in her hand. They were precious. The thought of dancing in a beautifully lit room crossed her mind and she got that tingly feeling all over again.
“Veer main soch rahi thhi ke bedroom mein bhi yeh fairy lights lagaau. Kitna khoobsurat lagega aur interesting bhi.” She thought of twining them around the edge of the dressing table mirror to create some instant glam. Can she decorate the ceiling and make them look like stars? She can try.
“Sweet heart agar bedroom ko interesting banana hai toh mere paas aur bhi bohot saare ideas hai.”
Bani gulped. Her heart might just stop beating the very next second. Good gracious God, trust this man with his words. Dripping of mischief. Pure mischief.
“Bedroom bhi tumhara hai aur pati bhi, tum jo chaaho who kar sakti ho.” He spoke further.
Lights. She has to focus on the lights. She has to detangle all of them and decorate the house with lights. She started encircling the detangled lights around Veer's neck. If he wishes to tease her like this, she can very well use his broad shoulders for some help. Veer was still eyeing her playfully. She encircled another round of lights around his neck. And a third. He stepped closer to her. She understood his intentions very well. She tried to step back but thudded against the wall. Bani did not realize that the switches got pressed on. The lights on his shoulders and in her hands came to life making Veer's face looked brighter.
Slowly, his hand drifted to her hip. It settled there and pulled her closer. She inhaled sharply. She leaned in his warm chest, chiselled to perfection. Must he be so perfect? She splayed her hand against it, intending to push him away, but instead she left it there. His breathing quickened as did hers. He took the time to notice her collar bones. He spoke something, so faint, they were whispers. She urged herself to push away, but could not. Her limp body began to tremble uncontrollably. His head was angled slightly to the side as his lips came closer to hers.
Bani felt how his fingers held her waist but she did not understand when and how he began tickling her. She giggled at first. And then burst out into laughter because he was not stopping even when she was pleading him to. She could feel her laughter in her lungs, so hard that it took her breathe away. Veer enjoyed looking at Bani. His breathe came in quick gasps between unstoppable giggles.
They were so close. Bani felt more than she was able to express. Her toes tingled and blush seared through her being. Veer saw that not only her cheeks but her whole face turned red. She cast down her eyelashes in the most gentle way. She suddenly felt so many butterflies in her stomach. What should she call this feeling? Her smile grew of her own accord, he could see what he ignited in her heart. His gaze was soft. He wanted to remember everything about this moment. The way he kept looking at her provoked her most intimate thoughts.
“Bani Bhabhiiiiii” Monil screamed her name in a high pitched voice as he walked towards Veer and Bani. Veer cursed under his breath. Bani did not realize that Monil was calling her name.
“Galat waqt par galat jagah hone ka talent sirf mere bhaiyyo ke paas hai.” Veer tapped on his cheek.
“Aapke romance mein rukaawat daalne ke liye mujhe bilkul khed nahi hai Bhai. Bhabhi ko abhi mere saath aanaa hoga. Humne diye jalaane hai.” Monil announced.
“Haan aati hoon.” Bani spoke while removing the fairy lights from Veer's neck.
~~~
"Sweet heart, Meera ka phone aayaa thha. Woh pooch rahi thhi ke kya tum kal uske saath shopping karne ja sakti ho?" Veer came to talk to Bani.
"Haan kal jaa sakti hoon." Bani said to him, her eyes still focusing on the color that she is filling in her rangoli. He sat beside her and offered Bani her phone.
"Main rangoli khatam karke unhe phone karti hoon." She showed him her hands smeared in colour.
Veer looked at the rangoli. Bani was drawing and filling colors in floral motifs of different shapes and sizes. It looked exquisite. He wanted to do it too. He took the bowl of colour from Bani's hands and started filling in the design. Bani looked at him doubtfully. What is he thinking about doing now? She remembered the way he tickled her in the name of helping her with lights. She was sure he was thinking about applying colour on her face. She took some colour and rubbed it on his cheek while he was still filling the design.
"What are you doing ghar wali?" Veer was surprised. "Decide karlo tumhe Diwali manani hai ya Holi."
"Tumhaari saari badmaashiyaan samajh mein aati hai mujhe Veer isiliye tum mujhe colour lagaao isse pehle maine tumhe colour laga diya!" Bani made it clear.
Veer chuckled. He genuinely had no intentions of applying colour on her face but now he will. He held Bani by the shoulder and rubbed his coloured cheek against hers. She felt the bristle of his beard.
"Aakhir mere rang mein rang hi gayi naa tum."
Bani looked into his eyes. Damn. Those eyes. They were every shade of brown anybody could imagine. They glow with humour and playfulness that gave her shivers and wrapped her in a warm embrace at the same time. His face was strong and defined, as if his features were moulded from granite. He has dark eye brows were sloped downwards in a serious expression but then he broke into his usual smile. Does he realize that he is he. So handsome. Extra handsome.
"Tum... Tum mujhe aise mat dekha karo." Bani looked away.
"Kyon?" He was curious.
"Mujhe kuch kuch hone lagta hai." She confessed.
"Jaanta hoon dil dhak dhak dhak dhak hota hai, saansein tham jaati hai."
~~~
Veer walked in his room and saw Bani sitting on the floor. Wrapping paper, glitter and ribbons kept her busy.
"Poora din beet gaya, tumhe thakaan nahi hui sweet heart? Thoda aaraam karlo. Baaki ke kaam kal kar lena." Veer said looking at the different boxes she was wrapping.
"Haan Veer yeh gifts wrap kar loon phir aaraam karungi." Bani said excitedly.
"Tum sabke liye gifts laai ho?"
"Haan, yeh Daddy ji ke liye, yeh Tapish Bhai ke liye, yeh Daksh ke liye, yeh Monil ke liye aur yeh Ponky ke liye." Bani pointed at every box.
"Aur mera gift? Mujhe bhool gayi tum?" Veer feigned disappointment.
"Apne patidev ko kaise bhool sakti hoon main?" She said dramatically.
Bani raised both her hands asking Veer to help her get up. He did. She took took him to the other side of the room and made him stand in front of an empty wall.
"Bani, tum mujhe humaare hi kamre ki deewar gift kar rahe ho?" Veer was confused.
"Deewar nahi Veer, Yaadein." Bani brought a small framed picture from the cupboard and put it up on the wall.
Veer remembered that picture. It was a picture of the Navratri celebration. Both of them were playing Dandiya. The photo was a close up but he recalled how her lehenga had billowed beautifully as she coordinated her steps with him. Veer noticed her expression in the photo frame as he had held her close to him. Courtesy to that Dandiya.
"Main humaari life ki saari achhi yaadon ko iss deewar par sajaake rakhna chahti hoon Veer." She said to him with hopeful eyes. Hope for the future.
"Thank you Bani". Veer was overwhelmed. This was the best present he had ever received. He fell short of words. Bani made him feel so special.
" I love you." She wrapped her arms around him. The way in which she said it made him believe that this was the only truth that mattered to her.
Veer held her face in her hands. The intensity of his eyes made her gasp. His lips brushed hers. Just a slight tease, but demanding. Nothing mattered. The world fell away. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words could never be. His hand rested below her ear, his thumb carressing her cheek as their breaths mingled. She ran her fingers through his hair, pulling him closer until there was no space left in between them and she could feel the beating of his heart against her chest.
