TDBU #3 [An AR FF] - (Track 71- Epilogue - Page 65) - Page 36

Originally posted by: Bananahammock

So I'm not too sure about what happened after Armaan came back. DMG Season 2 is something I wrote off completely. I'm not sure how much of it Prags has kept canon in this fic - did Armaan come back and everyone ignore him? Or did he only reach out to Riddhima and leave everyone else in the dark? In which case I wouldn't blame them. BUT, if he did reach out and Nikki/Atul weren't there for him, yes that's different. In that case I wouldn't expect him to want to have a relationship with either of them now. I'd actually be against it. I'm curious to know if he reached out before the whole letter debacle, as I'm convinced Armaan wouldn't have just let Nikki go if she didn't respond to letters. He must have tried talking to her face to face. They are (were) too close for him to just accept that she didn't want him in her life from some mail marked "return to sender". And I don't think Nikki would've given up looking for him too. Something's missing here. But waiting to hear on this from @Prags.

I think they have accepted this Armaan. They obviously know they can't change him and make him the way he was before the AR split. I think the issue now is: how do they fit into this new Armaan's life? Does he still want them there? In what capacity? What rights do they have over him now? Especially in deference to his NY family. Being able to have Armaan in their life is new, and navigating this new reality is hard for them. I assume they would want to leave it up to him to decide what role he wants them to play in his life, and are waiting for him to take the first step as they don't want to cross any boundaries. I'd actually love to see Atul and Nikki talking to each other about this and maybe a conversation between Atul Anjali or Nikki Abhi, where they discuss this, as I'm sure they feel insecure about Armaan and his family.

Payal

Rereading the previous chapters and I keep coming back to the fact that Armaan just accepted that Nikki didn't want to hear from him. I have a feeling Sid was involved more than he confessed to. Armaan would not have taken no for an answer and I fully believe he would wanted to hear Nikki tell him she didn't want to have a relationship with him. Now I'm wondering if Abhi was involved in this some way too? Did he speak to Armaan maybe and tell him to keep his distance from Nikki? I'm not sure why he might do that, but there's something else going on here. If so, Nikki's life will take a turn once she finds out what he did. Or did Armaan just do a 180 and not care if Nikki spoke to him anymore? But then why did he blow up at her in the present for not wanting to reach out to him? I'm so confused. Waiting to hear from you, @Prags.

Payal

Originally posted by: Bananahammock

Rereading the previous chapters and I keep coming back to the fact that Armaan just accepted that Nikki didn't want to hear from him. I have a feeling Sid was involved more than he confessed to. Armaan would not have taken no for an answer and I fully believe he would wanted to hear Nikki tell him she didn't want to have a relationship with him. Now I'm wondering if Abhi was involved in this some way too? Did he speak to Armaan maybe and tell him to keep his distance from Nikki? I'm not sure why he might do that, but there's something else going on here. If so, Nikki's life will take a turn once she finds out what he did. Or did Armaan just do a 180 and not care if Nikki spoke to him anymore? But then why did he blow up at her in the present for not wanting to reach out to him? I'm so confused. Waiting to hear from you, @Prags.

Payal

That chapter is closed. So, basically, Armaan wrote to her a lot of times, and she never responded and then he gave up. He thought she chose not to because now Riddhima was her sister - in - law and having both of them in her life would have been hard for her, so she froze him out. She'd done it before also, when she left in college without a word to him, and choosing a time when he wasn't around so she wouldn't have to confront him, so he didn't think it was too out of the realm of possibility for her to do it again.

when will you update next ?

Understood. Apologies if the questioning was annoying.

Payal

Update de de meri maa 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Originally posted by: scorpiofazy

sneak peak hi dedo!!!

I shall try to! :)))

Eagerly awaiting your update

Previously on...

Armaan asks Riddhima if he can give Tamanna the bangles Umar Bhai gave him. Riddhima misunderstands and thinks Armaan has moved on with Tamanna.

Track 45 - Skinny Love, Bon Iver

“SURPRISE!” Everyone shouted, taking Tamanna by surprise. She looked around, absolutely mesmerized.

It always baffled her how her family seemed to remember even the smallest of things. She’d once mentioned how she loved Candyland years ago, and here they were, with a candy themed party. It was absolutely gorgeous. She’d never seen anything like this before. Ever.

She couldn’t help tear up. They all loved her so much. She kind of fell into Rahul’s waiting embrace. He hugged her tightly, rubbing her back.

Of all of them, Rahul was the one who understood Tamanna’s struggle the most. She couldn’t have a child, much like he couldn't, and though it was different for a woman from what it was for a man, he still understood her better than anyone else.

"It's okay! Come on. Shhhh. Chin up!" Rahul soothed her. "This is a happy day. No more tears, okay?" He ordered, swiping her cheeks. Tamanna nodded.

She looked around once again, appreciating the efforts her family had put into planning this party for her and couldn't help but grin. It was gorgeous. She took turns hugging everyone there, all of whom congratulated her and gave her their best wishes for this new journey.

"Where's Maani?" She asked, when she couldn't spot him in the crowd.

"Right here!" His voice echoed around the house.

All lights went out suddenly, and soft music filled the room.

"This one's for you, Tammy! We're all so happy for you! Congratulations, love. I know you're going to be the best mom ever," Armaan announced.

zindagi pehle kabhi itni haseen kahaan?

raaste hai sab wohi badla hain bas jahan

raat toh guzar gahi hain aagaye subah

kis ko khabar thi yeh hamein le ayegi yahaan?

dil mein tamannao ko liye

chaahato ke khatir hum toh jiye

tanha aakele chalte rahein

diye zindagi ke jalte rahein

hoooo aise achanak sab mil gaya

tufan ko sahil jaise mil gaya

zindagi pehle kabhi itni haseen kahaan?

raaste hai sab wohi badla hain bas jahan

raat toh guzar gahi hain aagaye subah

kis ko khabar thi yeh hamein le ayegi yaha?

hamne suna tha ab yeh jane

khushiyan toh dhunde bas bahane

kitne hain jane kitne anjaane

kuch kho gaye sapne kuch hain pane

hooo hum na kisi ko bhula payenge

chahee yeh duniya bhi mil jaye

zindagi pehle kabhi itni haseen kahaan?

raaste hai sab wohi badla hain bas jahan

raat toh guzar gahi hain aagaye subah

kis ko khabar thi yeh hamein le ayegi yahaan?

kuch duriyaan kuch fasalee jiwan meh hain yaha

koi dur rehkar paas hain samjha koi kahaan?

har rang meh har roop mein dekha hain yeh jahaan

armaan hain bas sabko milein sab kuch milein yahan

kitne hi din aur kitni raatein

yaad rahegi kuch bateein

yaadon ko dil mein hum sajayein

yeh zindagi yuhi chaltein jaaye

hooo muskil hain sab kuch samaj pana

mane ya namane humne mana

kuch duriyaan kuch faaslee jiwan meh hain yahaan

koi dur rehkar paas hain samja koi kahan

har rang meh har roop mein dekha hain ye jahan

armaan hain bas sabko milein sab kuch milein yahan

zindagi pehle kabhi itni haseen kahaan?

raaste hai sab wohi badla hain bas jahan

raat toh guzar gahi hain aagaye subah

kis ko khabar thi yeh hamein le ayegi yahaaaaa…

Armaan pulled everyone in for a dance and they all frolicked around the house for a while before it was time to cut the cake.

"Oh my!! This is so gorgeous! Did you bake it?" Tamanna asked, turning to Armaan.

"Course I did! We are not celebrating this occasion with a cake from some outsider!" Armaan scoffed.

"You're the best! I love you," Tamanna declared, hugging him.

Armaan chuckled and hugged her back. "I love you, too," he replied.

Riddhima's heart broke at the quiet, yet firm, declaration. She already knew it, of course. Armaan wouldn't have dreamt about giving Tamanna the bangles if he didn't love her, but it hurt all the same.

Tamanna cut the cake and then fed it to everyone.

"Okay! Present time!!" Jaanhavi announced once Tamanna was done. "I'm so excited!!"

"Oh no!" Tamanna whisper shouted. "Did you people go overboard? Please tell me you didn't. But you totally did, didn't you?"

She was met with matching shrugs across the room. "Let us have our moment, Tam. You know everyone's been excited," Armaan murmured.

"Fine!" She agreed. "But just this once because I'm really excited and I know all of you are too!"

Myra would never want for anything in life was the first thought that came to Tamanna's mind after she'd opened all the gifts. She'd gotten everything from clothes to books to toys.

Her second thought was that she was extremely lucky to have such amazing people in her life because not only had they gotten gifts for her daughter, but also for her. There were a couple parenting books which she was thankful for, organizers and colour coded calendars which she knew would be her best friends now, and even some cute jewellery. But the best present was an empty scrapbook that she was sure she was going to fill within days with pictures of Myra and the rest of her family.

"This is all so beautiful. Thank you so much!" She thanked everyone. "They're all such thoughtful gifts and I couldn't have asked for anything more. Thank you so much for making my day so special!"

"It's not over yet! The best present of all still remains!" Rahul cried.

"The best? What could be better than all of this?" She asked, gesturing around the pile of gifts she was sitting in the middle of.

"There's something better. Trust us," Rohan reassured.

"So… Do you?" Armaan asked.

"Do I what?" She questioned in return.

"Trust us, bozo?" He whined.

"You know I do," she replied.

"Good. Because you need to put this on," Jaanhavi said, producing a blindfold out of nowhere.

"What?!" Tamanna asked, confused. "A blindfold?"

"You agreed to trust us," Jaanhavi replied. "Now, turn around."

Tamanna obliged and was quickly blindfolded. "How am I supposed to see this surprise now?"

"Don't worry. We've got you," Armaan replied. And then suddenly she was being lifted in a pair of arms.

"Aaaah!" She shrieked, immediately catching hold of his shoulders tightly. "A little warning next time… Please?"

"But where's the fun in that?" Armaan asked cheekily.

He ascended the stairs with Tamanna still in his arms, holding onto her tightly. Everyone quietly followed. The entire time, Muskaan's hand had a tight grip on Riddhima's. This was like Riddhima's worst nightmare come to life. She wanted to scream, shout, hit something. She wanted to run away and never come back… Somewhere far, somewhere where all of this would just be a nightmare, where Armaan wouldn't haunt her every thought, where his shadow wouldn't be able to reach her. She was on a tipping edge. She was tired. She just wanted to go home. But that wasn't possible because her home had left her 7 years ago. No. He hadn't left her. She'd pushed him away. He'd stood there, crying, begging for a chance to make it all right, the way it was supposed to be, but she'd been the stubborn idiot who'd given priority to her marriage vows over the vows her and Armaan had made to each other. And where had that taken her? Into a lonely life where she spent every moment wishing to undo all of it and find her way back home. Way back to Armaan. If only she'd listened to Armaan back then. He'd been right. He always was. He knew her better than she knew herself. He'd known, even then, that she would never be able to give her marriage what it deserved, because her heart would always be with Armaan. He'd known that she would never be happy in the marriage, that she'd never have a successful marriage like she wanted. Because Riddhima pe sirf Armaan ka haq hai. She'd said those words herself all those years ago in the locker room, and yet, she'd refused to give him that haq on herself, something that only he'd ever had. No one else.

"Ridzy, are you okay?" Nikki asked quietly, pulling Riddhima out of her thoughts.

She looked at Nikita who was walking beside her and gave a careless shrug, unable to voice how she was feeling. But somehow, Nikki understood that Riddhima was not fine. So, she held Riddhima's other free hand in her own and gave it a firm squeeze, a silent show of support. Riddhima smiled at her gratefully, still amazed that she had found such brilliant friends.

“You’re taking me up to my room, Maani. What was the need to blindfold me for that?” Tamanna whined when she understood where they were headed. Armaan’s only response was a chuckle.

When they’d reached their destination, Armaan put Tamanna down. “You ready?” He asked.

“Yes!” She replied impatiently.

Armaan removed her blindfold and she realized that they weren't at her bedroom door, but the room beside hers. It was a guest room, and she'd planned to ask Armaan if they could turn it into Myra's room but she hadn't gotten around to it yet. She figured that for the first few days, Myra could live there anyway since it was empty and once the wedding was done with, she would broach the topic with Armaan. Of course she should've known that Armaan would understand and do something about it before she even had the chance to ask.

"What are we doing here?" She asked, her voice thick with anticipation.

"You didn't think we'd bring our niece home and not give her a room, did you?" Jaanhavi asked cheekily.

"Yeah. And since you were too shy to ask, we thought, what the h*ll. Let's just do it," Rahul added.

"I wasn't shy. I was going to ask after the wedding," Tamanna replied defiantly.

"Okay," Armaan said as if he didn't believe her.

"No, I really was!" Tamanna assured.

"Yes," Armaan replied, his tone betraying his words. "I did say I agree, didn't I?"

"But you don't believe me," Tamanna accused. She looked around to see all of them sporting a similar expression.

"Can you blame us?" Karan piped in. "When have you ever asked for something? Ever?"

"Just last night I asked Rahul to leave me alone and stop bugging me with his over excitement!" She cried.

Rahul raised an eyebrow in question and she raised her hands in surrender. “I did, though.”

“Yeah, you did,” Rahul agreed.

“Okay! Can we debate over this later? Tamanna needs to see the room!” Shilpa whined.

“Yeah, she does,” Armaan agreed. Turning to Tamanna, he asked, “Are you ready?”

Tamanna nodded.

“Go on then,” Armaan encouraged. “Look!”

Tamanna immediately turned the knob and opened the door. What she stepped into could only be described as another world… one of a fairytale.

“Do you like it?” Armaan asked apprehensively.

“This is… it’s literally perfect,” Tamanna blubbered. “Thank… Thank you!”

She immediately hugged Armaan, sobbing into his chest.

“Hey! Tam! No tears today,” Armaan coaxed. “We agreed, didn’t we?”

Tamanna nodded but didn’t make any move to pull away or stop crying. Armaan sighed and pulled her out of his arms, making her sit on a pouffe. He knelt in front of her and wiped her tears. “Come on! No crying.”

But the tears continued to flow.

“Okay! I got you another present,” he said in a desperate attempt to get her to stop crying.

“Another present?! There’s more after this?” She gestured around the room.

“Well… technically… it’s not from me,” Armaan added. “I’m just the messenger. It’s from someone else.”

“Who?” She asked, thoroughly intrigued, her tears forgotten.

“Someone very special,” He replied cryptically.

“Stop playing games!” She ordered. “Tell me.”

Armaan reached into his pocket and removed the box, giving it to Tamanna, who opened it with eager fingers.

In that moment, Riddhima finally understood just how Armaan must have felt when she told him she was going to marry Sid again. When Armaan hadn’t turned up for the wedding, she’d understood his reasons, of course she had. But now… Now she knew how he must have felt. Like she wanted everything in the world to end, or to come to a stop or to… just something so that what was about to happen wouldn’t happen, but not having any control over it either. To feel your heart being broken into a million pieces knowing you couldn’t do anything about. To see the love of your life pledge to spend the rest of theirs with someone else. How could she have put him through such pain? Just… how?

“Maani!” Tamanna whispered, awed. “I --- ”

“Don’t start with your ‘this is too much’ and ‘I can’t keep it’ or whatever. They’re yours,” Armaan ordered.

“No! They’re not… They’re… He gave them to you for…” Tamanna trailed off.

“He gave them to me for safekeeping,” Armaan replied. “To give them to someone special. And I am. To you.”

“No… no… they’re not… they’re not for me. They’re for the woman you love,” Tamanna insisted.

“Yes. And I do love you, you know. In case you somehow forgot that bit,” Armaan quipped.

“Not like that, you goof. You know what I’m talking about. The woman you marry,” Tamanna replied. “They’re for Baba’s daughter in law.”

“I think Baba won’t mind much if they end up with his daughter, do you?” Armaan asked. “Look, I really wanted them to be here today, okay? And they wanted it too, but the visas didn’t pan out and now they’re not here but I want you to have something of your parents today, and this is it. This isn’t just some piece of jewellery, it’s their blessings too. And frankly… I… Umar Bhai… he gave it to me to give to his daughter - in - law, yes, but we both had a certain person in mind when he said that and… well, obviously that didn’t happen.”

Armaan looked up to see Riddhima when he said that, he couldn’t help it. She was crying. Tears continuously flowed out of her eyes as she covered her mouth to avoid making any noise. And Armaan couldn’t figure out the expression on her face. She looked both happy and sad simultaneously. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of thoughts of Riddhima and concentrated on Tamanna.

“Look… that’s not… it’s not happening now. And… I can’t imagine giving these to anybody else. Just you. Because you understand just how important they are. Your parents gave them to me as a blessing when I was supposed to start a new chapter in my life, and now… I want to give them to you when you’re about to do the same. Please… don’t say no. They belong to you more than anyone else, even me, or my supposed wife, who I don’t think will ever exist. So, just… keep them. Please,” Armaan pleaded.

Tamanna nodded and hugged Armaan, falling into his lap. Both of them were crying in earnest now, unable to stop.

“You guys!” Rahul whined. “Armaan… you were supposed to stop her from crying. Not start crying yourself!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I really am. But I just…” Armaan trailed off, not loosening his grip on Tamanna for even a second.

“Yeah, yeah. Just stop it! We’re celebrating tonight!” Rahul ordered.

Some more coaxing and soothing, and finally, Armaan and Tamanna were okay.

But, Riddhima was not. She couldn’t believe that she’d jumped to the conclusion that Armaan & Tamanna were romantically involved without asking him first. Tamanna was Umar Bhai’s daughter! Armaan would never date her. Just the thought disgusted Riddhima. It was basically incest if she thought about it. Umar Bhai was one person who Armaan looked up to. In a weird way, he was like Armaan’s uncle who adored him. And Tamanna was his daughter. Which made her someone akin to a cousin, or more like a sister, for Armaan. And she’d thought…

“I’m hungry! Why don’t we go eat some?” Karan asked after everyone had ooh - ed and aah - ed over the room. Rahul & Armaan had not let anyone see the room before now, stating that no one would get to see it before Tamanna.

"Why don't you all go on ahead and Tamanna and I will join you in a few?" Armaan asked, his tone leaving no room for argument. Jaanhavi gave Armaan a tight hug and whispered something before Rohan dragged her away along with the others, leaving just Armaan & Tamanna in the room.

"What's up?" Tamanna asked.

"I'm afraid I'm gonna have to make you cry some more," Armaan announced.

"Huh?" Was Tamanna's eloquent response.

Armaan sat down on the bed and patted the empty spot next to him asking Tamanna to sit as well.

"Maani, you're scaring me," Tamanna whispered, taking a seat beside him.

"I want you to promise me something," Armaan began.

"What?" She asked.

"That you'll just keep quiet and let me do this," he answered.

"Do what?" Tamanna was so confused and Armaan talking in such riddles was not helping.

“This,” he sighed, producing a book in front of her. Charlie & The Chocolate Factory it read.

“Absolutely not! NO WAY!” Tamanna screamed, getting up. Shalini Bua had given that book to Armaan on his fifth birthday. It was one of his most prized possessions and he’d promised to give it to his eldest niece or nephew on their fifth birthday too, wanting to start a new tradition.

“Tamanna!” Armaan pleaded, holding her hand and making her sit back down.

“How could you even think that I’d agree?” Tamanna whispered.

“Tam… this was always meant for my eldest niece or nephew. Like Bua Maa gave it to me, I’d always planned to give it to them… Something that could be ours. Just theirs and mine,” Armaan explained. “And… Myra will be the eldest. So, that means it’s hers.”

“But… what about Nikumbh?” She asked.

“What about him?” Armaan questioned her.

“Wouldn’t it belong to him? Since you know… he’s the eldest?” She continued.

Armaan laughed. “Ummm… Nikki is not my sister. Tam! She was in love with me at one point of time. That’s just disgusting,” he shuddered.

Tamanna chuckled. “Glad to know incest is so nauseating for you. And… AJ?”

“Champ’s kid is not in the world yet, Tam,” Armaan replied. “So, that kiddo is not going to be the eldest.”

“But… Jaanhavi,” she sighed. “Shouldn’t it be her child’s?”

“Oh my god! Stop right there. If you say something about how she’s my sister and you’re not, I will get really mad!” Armaan promised.

Tamanna looked down. That was exactly what she was going to say. She would forever be grateful to Armaan for everything he had done for her, but the truth was that she was not actually Armaan’s sister. She was just someone who he stumbled upon and decided to take in and love like his own.

“Tamanna… I can’t… you really think that way? Even after all these years?” Armaan asked, aghast. He stood up and started pacing.

“I’m sorry!” He finally exclaimed. “I really am.”

Tamanna looked up. “Whatever for?” She questioned, surprised.

“Well, clearly… I have been lacking. Maybe I’ve been treating you differently than I treat Jaan. But, I promise it was subconsciously. I never meant it, Tamanna. I’ll try harder, I swear. I didn’t mean to make you feel this. But… I’ll make sure that things change now,” Armaan vowed.

“What?” Tamanna asked, confused. “I don’t understand. What are you saying?”

“Tamanna… you think that I don’t think of you the way I think of Jaan. So… obviously, my actions have made you feel that way. Maybe subconsciously I have been more biased towards her. I’ve always been that way, you know? Ever since she was a baby. And I guess, I didn’t realize that I was doing it. So, I promise I’ll do better from now on,” Armaan told her.

“Maani! That’ bullcrap. Who said you’ve been treating me different than Jaanhavi, or that I think you’re biased towards her?” Tamanna asked.

“You still think that you’re not my sister, Tamanna. And that’s on me. I have to fix it. So, I will,” he said.

“NO! I never said that! God. How can you even think that way? Never, Maani! I know how much you love me, okay? You never have to prove that to me. You’re the best brother in the world,” she promised.

“Then why?” he asked. “Why do you think that this book belongs to Jaanhavi’s child and not yours?”

“Because… because… because…” she fumbled, unable to say what she was actually thinking. She knew he wouldn’t like it.

“Tamanna… please. Tell me. What?” He insisted.

“It’s nothing,” she shrugged, looking away.

“No! It is something. Tell me,” he demanded.

“I’m not your real sister, dammit!” She succumbed.

Armaan left her hand as if he’d been burned. “See,” he shrugged. “I was right. You don’t think I love you like I love Jaan. But, you know what? I do. You’re my sister, exactly like Jaan is. And this book is Myra’s. Whether you like it or not. I was just showing it to you because I didn’t want to surprise you tomorrow. But, when Myra comes home tomorrow, I’m going to give it to her as a ‘Welcome to the family’ present.”

“Maani…” Tamanna pleaded.

“It’s okay, Tam. It is my fault that I haven’t been able to convince you of this in so many years that we’ve been living together. But, I’ll fix it,” He repeated. Then, he quietly walked out of the door, leaving Tamanna behind with the regret of hurting him.

_______________

Downstairs, the party raged on as everyone enjoyed the huge spread of delicacies. Indistinct chatter and loud laughter filled the room, and Armaan smiled. It soothed the ache in his heart a little, seeing his family like that.

Riddhima stood and watched them mingle like an outsider amongst her own people. She knew she was supposed to feel happy for Tamanna, be ecstatic that she was going to become a mother, but Riddhima could not think of anything or anyone other than Armaan. And how she’d hurt him by assuming what she had. She hadn’t even stayed to listen to him. She’d jumped to her own conclusions based on a few scattered incidents and half listening to what he was saying. She should’ve given him a chance to keep his point across completely. She regretted it so much now. It seemed as if all she’d have of Armaan were a lifetime of regrets and a wish to do things a million times over.

“Ridzy,” Muskaan whispered. “Are you okay?”

Riddhima shook her head, thankful that she had Muskaan in her corner. She never had to lie to her, ever. Because Muskaan understood. She never judged. She was there for Riddhima, no matter how much she screwed up, unlike the other people in her life who just left her.

“I’m an idiot, Muski. A complete idiot,” she murmured. “Tamanna is Umar Bhai’s daughter… and I thought…”

“It’s okay,” Muskaan soothed. “You made a mistake.”

“Yes, I did,” Riddhima agreed. “But that’s what it is, isn’t it? Just a long list of mistakes, especially when it’s Armaan. Why can’t I ever do something right by him?”

Muskaan had no answer to that so she just hugged Riddhima.

“Maani!” Nikki cried, halting Riddhima and Muskaan’s conversation.

“Jaani!” Armaan returned, trying to muster her enthusiasm but failing miserably. His conversation with Tamanna had left him reeling. She didn’t think Myra deserved that book because she wasn’t his real sister. It felt like a punch in the gut that she felt that way even after everything. It brought back all his fears of never being good enough. No matter what, he never would be.

“This is so amazing, Maani,” Nikki told him, giving him a hug. “I’m so happy for Tamanna! And you’ve done such a splendid job with this party. God. It’s amazing. You’re the best!”

“Yeah?” Armaan asked, his voice all hope and dreams.

“Yeah,” Nikki confirmed. “You’re literally the best at everything. I don’t know when you’ll realize that.”

Armaan hugged Nikki tightly. He never knew how, but she somehow just always knew what to say at the most opportune moment. He really was lucky to have her in his life.

“I love you, Jaani,” he murmured softly.

Nikki was a little surprised at his sudden declaration, but replied, “I love you, too, Maani!”

He pulled back, his eyes shining with tears that he hadn’t let fall in front of Tamanna. Something about Nikki always made him so vulnerable and open. Maybe because she’d seen him at his worst since they were kids. Maybe because he knew she knew how to handle him crying.

“God, Maani! You’re such an emotional idiot. Ab I love you bolke bhi royega?” She joked, wiping his eyes. Armaan shrugged.

“Mallik!” Sonakshi cried. “I have been waiting for you.”

“Bose,” Armaan replied. “What can I do for you?” He asked.

“Come with me,” she said, taking his hand and tugging him away. Armaan looked up at Nikki in apology, but Nikki just smiled in acceptance.

Sonakshi pulled him away from the hustle and bustle of the house into the garden and made him sit on the swing, sitting beside him.

“So,” Armaan began. “What’s up?”

“I got you a present,” she smiled.

Armaan laughed. “I don’t think you get how this works, Shona. It’s Tamanna’s baby shower, not mine. She’s the one who gets the gifts today.”

“Shut up, Maani!” She replied. “You’re gonna love it.”

“Okay… I give! What is it?” He asked.

Sonakshi wrangled her bag a little and produced a badly wrapped present and gave it to him.

Armaan took it from her hands excitedly and tore the wrapping away. Inside was a frame with Padfoot and Suhana. Suhana was hugging Padfoot close and laughing as he tried to lick her. The frame itself was covered in her handprints and his paw prints.

“Soha wanted her Superman to have this because she was missing him,” Sona told him.

A tear from Armaan’s eyes fell onto the frame before he realized he’d started crying. “It’s beautiful. Thank you.”

“Armaan… I’m so sorry,” she said. “I know it’s not fair to you, but I just…” she trailed off, not knowing what to say.

Ever since she’d gotten back together with Dev, things had been a little tense with Armaan. Dev didn’t want Suhana to spend time with Armaan, understandably. He felt as if he was enough and Suhana didn’t need another father figure in her life. His insecurities were acting up and he did not want to share Suhana with anyone, especially with Armaan.

Armaan sighed. “It’s okay, Shona,” he said. “I get where he’s coming from. In fact, if I were in his place, I might’ve done the same thing.”

“But… that’s not fair! I know Dev loves Suhana more than anything, and Suhana loves him too, but she misses you,” she said.

“I miss her too,” he said. “So, so, so much.”

“Dev’s a great father, Maani. But it’s… it’s been difficult for Soha to adjust with everything, and not having you around has made it more difficult. I wish Dev understood that. No one can replace him in her life, but no one can replace you either. Not even him. Dev doesn’t know Soha like you do. He wasn’t there all those years. He wasn’t there through those food cravings. He didn’t make me brownies at 2am or run out to find ice cream at 5. He wasn’t there when I was in labour, crying my heart out. He wasn’t there when Soha smiled for the first time, when she said her first word. He wasn’t there that day when Soha fell down for the first time and cried, and you cried more than her. He wasn’t there when you nursed her wounds and hugged her to sleep. He wasn’t there when you woke up every night with me because she was crying so much,” Sona sighed. “Dev is Soha’s father, and nothing can change that, but you’ve been her dad all these years and nothing can change that either.”

Armaan was full on crying now, not even trying to hide it. He hugged Sona. “It’s okay, Shona. Things will get better. Just like it’s been hard for Soha to adjust, it has to be difficult for Dev too. I mean, imagine finding out that you have a five year old daughter, and then finding out that someone has been her dad instead of you and taken everything that should have been yours. All that love, those smiles, those hugs, those tears… all of that belonged to Dev. But I took it from him. It’s understandable that he feels this way.”

“GOD! How are you so perfect? He cut you out of Soha’s life and you’re still sitting here and defending him. To his wife,” she murmured.

“Because you’re his wife, yes, but you’re also my friend,” he replied. “And really, I’m not wrong. I never said what he’s doing is right. I just think it’s justified. And I’m willing to wait till he’s spent more time with Soha and is not as insecure about her as he is now. But… till then… do you think he’d be okay if I called her sometimes? I don’t want her to think I’ve abandoned her. And I really miss her so much.”

“Yes. Absolutely. Call anytime!” She agreed immediately.

“Shona… I meant that you talk to Dev about it and then decide,” Armaan urged.

“There’s no need,” Sonakshi replied. “She’s my daughter and I think I can make this decision without asking her. Dev doesn’t understand how important you are to Suhana, but I do.”

Armaan chuckled. “Oh, Shona! He understands, okay? He absolutely does. That’s why he’s doing this. Because he’s afraid that someday Angel might choose me over him.”

“Whatever,” she answered. “I understand he’s worried, but Soha loves him. All these years, she had you, and yet, she always wanted him. Now that she has him, she’s never leaving him ever.”

“We know that,” he explained. “But he doesn’t. He just needs time to be on the same page as us. Give it to him. Please. I don’t want you fighting with him because of me, Shona. You both love each other so much and it’s taken so much pain and tears for you to get here. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if there’s problems between the two of you because of me.”

“I know,” she relented. “But, you’re talking to Soha. In fact, you’ll talk to her right now.” Saying so, she called Dev and asked him to give Soha the phone.

She then gave her phone to Armaan, who took it against his better judgement because he missed her so much and he needed a few minutes where nothing in the world mattered apart from his little angel who’d saved him even without trying.

“Hey Angel,” he murmured softly, his voice thick with tears.

Sonakshi sat there beside him, watching him talk to her. She could literally see tension leave his body as he continued to talk to her. His taut back relaxed, his shoulders drooped a little, and he leaned back, his body the picture of ease. And yet, silent tears continued to fall from his eyes.

“Thank you so much,” he murmured after he’d given the phone back to Sonakshi. “You don’t even know how much I needed that today. Angel’s always saving me. Even from myself.”

“Is everything okay, Armaan?” She asked. “You’ve been a little spacey the entire evening.”

“Do you ever feel absolutely ecstatic and completely shitty at the same time?” He questioned.

She shook her head no.

“Well, then I can’t help you because that’s exactly how I feel,” he told her. “I was just… everything was getting overwhelming and I didn’t know what to do and then you called her and let me talk to her and for those few minutes, everything was right in my world.”

“I’m glad,” she said.

“I’m sorry your daughter is my coping mechanism,” he apologized.

Sonakshi laughed. “You just love her too much. That’s why you find peace when you talk to her. It’s okay, Maani.”

Armaan shrugged. Sonakshi shook her head and pulled him into a tight hug. Armaan smiled. He’d spoken to Suhana after weeks. Everything was perfect.

Everything was actually far from perfect. Late at night, after everyone had left, Armaan was out by the pool, a bottle of his strongest scotch by his side, trying to drink away his pain. All these years… he’d tried his best to make Tamanna feel that she was a part of the family, that she wasn’t different from Jaanhavi at all. And here they were. She didn’t think she was as important to him as Jaanhavi was. It pricked Armaan’s heart that she felt this way.

“Can we talk?” Riddhima’s voice brought him out of his reverie. Armaan looked up to see her standing there with the most hopeful and heartbreaking expression on her face and he couldn’t turn her away, even though talking to her was the last thing he wanted. He gestured to her to take a seat and she did.

“I wanted to apologize for earlier, Armaan. I shouldn’t have assumed,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

Armaan just shrugged, not knowing what to say. “It’s okay,” he finally murmured, because what else could he say?

“No,” Riddhima immediately replied. “It’s not. I didn’t give you a chance to talk, and I jumped to conclusions without knowing everything. That’s not fair to you. I mean… she’s Umar Bhai’s daughter! Practically your sister, and I thought…” She shook her head, disgusted with herself.

“Eh,” Armaan replied. “She doesn’t think I love her as a sister anyway, so I guess joke’s on me, huh?”

“What?” Riddhima questioned, shocked.

“It doesn’t matter,” Armaan replied. “It never does. I should have expected it, yeah? I mean… this is not the first time someone has underestimated my love for them, is it? I mean… Look at you. You… you were everything to me, Riddhima… and you thought I’d take something that belonged to you, and just give it away to someone else.”

“Armaan… I’m really sorry about that! I should have let you speak,” Riddhima said again.

“Yes, you should have. But you know what’s worse?” He asked her. Not giving her a chance to say anything, he continued. “You assumed the worst of me, Riddhima. You thought that I could give those bangles to my new girlfriend despite knowing that Umar Bhai gave them to me when our wedding dates were being finalized. He gave them to me for his daughter - in - law. For you. And you thought, so easily, that I would give someone what was yours. That someone else could replace you in my life.”

“Armaan… I just… I thought you’d moved on. And trust me, I would’ve been happy if that was the case. It’s just that… you took me by surprise and I messed it up,” Riddhima tried to explain.

“Moving on from you doesn’t mean I have to find someone new, Riddhima,” Armaan replied. “And… no matter what, nobody will ever be able to take the place you have in my heart, be it 8 years, or 80. I’m never going to love someone like I love you. It just hurts that you think that I could.”

“Armaan…” Riddhima whispered, heartbroken. She’d hurt him so much. She just couldn’t do anything right, could she? No matter what… she always ended up hurting him.

Armaan looked at her, wanting to say something, but then thought better of it and walked away, leaving behind a heartbroken Riddhima, who couldn’t do anything but cry at her mistakes, and his.

_____________

So, I hope you lot like this one. It's super long and has so much angst, so yes. We served!

Thank you for being so patient with me. I know you people want to see Armaan finding out about the truth badly, and I promise it's coming soon! Just a few more chapters. I promise! :D

Till then, please read this one and let me know how you liked it! :D

Love,

Prags

Come on skinny love just last the year

Pour a little salt we were never here

My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my

Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

I tell my love to wreck it all

Cut out all the ropes and let me fall

My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my

Right in the moment this order's tall

And I told you to be patient

And I told you to be fine

And I told you to be balanced

And I told you to be kind

And in the morning I'll be with you

But it will be a different kind

And I'll be holding all the tickets

And you'll be owning all the fines

Come on skinny love, what happened here?

Suckle on the hope in light brassieres

My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my

Sullen load is full, so slow on the split

And I told you to be patient

And I told you to be fine

And I told you to be balanced

And I told you to be kind

And now all your love is wasted

And then who the hell was I?

And I'm breaking at the britches

And at the end of all your lines

Who will love you?

Who will fight?

Who will fall far behind?

- Skinny Love, Bon Iver

Armaan came out and said where he stands. Now its up to Riddhima to take up the task.