You have expressed this beautifully Aishu.......
You know you are right, Abir doesn't follow his advises especially abt loving yourself. He thinks he isn't worth it. You know I would love to hear more about your thoughts about why he would think like that?
Is it because he thinks his happiness lies in making his family happy?? Is it because if he can make their wishes come true they will be happy and by default he will be happy too?? Is it because instead of finding the happiness in himself he is trying to find it in others??
Being a guide comes naturally to him because he tried to be a role model for his nanko. Tried to make him realise that he is not defined by his parents and should live life on his terms. Same like he did for Mishti. But when it comes to him, he always keeps his wishes on a back burner so that his family could have their happiness first.
Mishti's issues are altogether different but same. She might be burdened by ehsaan from maheshwari family, thinks she isn't worth the love from them. But she also has a fighting spirit which prevents her from totally giving up on her happiness, even for her family.
Its like she fights and he compromises. He can take any insult to his self for his family. Mishti also take all the insults but her nature always makes her fight back.
@ bold - You have explained it well. This is what I want Abir to realise. Even if he can take insults to self for family he can't expect Mishti to do the same. And you have worded it well....her fight will make him realise his worth. He will understand that the way he is treated will also be a reflection of how Mishti will be treated in future.
Mishti realised the same when Kuhu started calling her a freeloader in effect calling Abir a freeloader. She realised by putting up with all of Kuhu's insults she was disrespecting herself. But now her insult will also be Abir's insult which she is not be able to bear, even if he can.
Its funny that Kunal who was the most immature of them all realised this fact, when the other 3 couldn't understand this simple fact. His conversation with Kuhu and Abir was gold, which makes us realise he is not as oblivious or immature as it seems.
The question is ....he can compromise for the sake of family.....but will he be able to tolerate Mishti compromising for him at every turn??
Will he realise he is being unfair to himself and Mishti by making her think he is right and she is wrong?? Or will Mishti make him realise sometimes cracks cannot be closed by a band aid......You need to cut the wound open and treat it??
Will they make each other realise they need to listen and understand each other first. BM gave a golden advise today. Basically, what she said was when both of them are angry one should listen first. And when the other person cools down, she can make him listen. Then they will come to an understanding and fights will not occur.
First of all thank you Mini! I loved your post! The thing here though is that neither one of them are completely wrong, nor are they both equally correct.
Abir's band-aid comes at a cost of his self respect, and Mishti's surgery (Deepa's brilliant word) comes at a cost sometimes the blameless to be blamed. The thing is they need to balance their viewpoints and how Badimaa said it, listen to each other. Mishti has identified Kuhu as a potential threat, and is trying to warn Abir but he sees Meenakshi pull the strings and doesn't care. Because of Meenu's dominant personality one person has to mellow down, and Abir takes it by leaving the house while most of the family sides with Meenu even if he brings up a valid point. I think this is the root cause of his self depreciation, his voice is the only one ringing for them all but no one not even Nanu at times is willing to support him at the cost of Meenu. It is sad that he feels that his family is better off without him, and leaves. But when he tried to move out they stopped him, I think it is very mixed signals. See he has reached a point where no one wants to support him, remember the baba track when his father basically went and got his marriage fixed, not one person was happy for him. Nanu later on agrees, but at that time he himself is mad. He found his self worth in that household by helping others and not expecting much in return which has unfortunately caused him to do the same outside of his household. Many people realize this and help and accept him, but like Kunal said many others try and take advantage of that. Everyone is in praises of Kunal today, but I think this is the actual Kunal. If you think about it, in the beginning Abir keeps saying that Kunal was not like this, the one year with Meenu one-on-one had changed him. I thought he was making excuses at that time, but now I think Abir was right, Kunal wasn't so selfish. And as much as we hate Kuhu right now, she has shown him the mirror of his actions and has been scarred by his actions.
I can't believe I am defending Kuhu, but yes she has always been like this. She is spoiled, but she is also hurt. Just like Mishti, for some time in her life, she wasn't accepted by her own father. (P.S I didn't watch parent show so please correct me if I am wrong, I just saw some scenes.) When she is accepted by her family, in her mind, they are "stolen" by Mishti. None of it is true, but in her mind that is what she thinks. She has made up that all the problems were caused by Mishti and has never been checked by her family, rather they fanned it! And that has festered into an ugly mindset that is affecting her love life, as well as Mishti's. Because Kunal had fooled her once because of Mishti, she is afraid it may happen again, and is trying to get rid of her before that. But in this process she is not realizing that she is distancing herself from Kunal. Due to the distance, she is angry again, and blames Mishti, it is a pretty vicious cycle. It is crazy how insecure all these characters are, I think it is what makes them all real, and makes us so frustrated or attached to them.